Pain that seems to never stop

[Dha53213]

Hi i wanted to thank all that responded to my last thread. I want everyone to be happy and i'd give all i have for someone to be cured. people who have to overcome things are so strong and so amazing. I'm in awe of the bravery and strength so many of you have. I start to wonder just how bad i am. I am in love with an amazing girl who has cf and i cry all the time because i always saw love as being the person you see yourself growing old with and god do i ever see taht happening it's just that i hate to think that she could pass away for something she had no control over and that she'd only be in my memories. I don't stronly believe that there is a heaven or even nething after life so it hurts to think that i could lose her. I understad that anyone can passaway at any moment so i guess it's not about the CF exactly but it just adds to the pain. I'm happy i know her hell even that i know of her but i don't wanna lose that. EVER. Well there it is me spillin' my emotions at 1:15 am. I'm sorry if this is a lil much or lame or maybe some of you dont wanna think that i understand. I know life is about quality and not quantity of time but I wish she would stay around til i pass so that i can continue to give all i have. I want her happiness to last forever and it hurts to think that it won't. Sorry i guess this really isn't CF its everything else ... Thanks for listening

Daryl,

BF of (the bestest most beautiful) F w/CF

 

[AussieCF]

Hi Daryl,

I am a female with Cf, and even though I not in your situation (you may feel what I have to say isnt relative) I feel I can relate to it a little. I have had thoughts that what if I leave my fiance behind? Because of CF? What if I go before him? I know he would be devistated, and even thinking of him being sad because of lossing me, is totally heartbreaking I never want him to feel that pain....however....I know of a girl who use to think of the same thing all the time. She has CF, she was happily inlove and decided to get married, six months later, he husband was dignoised with skin cancer and passed away within six weeks. I remember she said to me "I always thought he'd put me in the ground first cause of my CF" (horrible words, I know).....but now she has found new love and been in a strong relationship for 3 years. But her memories of her first husband are pricless, he helped her become as strong as she is and gave her sooo much to live for.....I guess like you said, it can happen to anyone at any time, but it doesnt lessen the pain when you know someone is chronically ill. (So insaying that she got to feel what he had always felt).

I myself know that my fiance worry's about my health occassionaly, (probably more than what he lets on about, I guess he's only human), my mum does also and always has (but she has been my angel and kept me positive, told me I can do anything, and I have done heaps)! As long as you both surround yourself with positive things and only people who can suport you, then I think you have evey chance of having a wonderful and long time ahead of you being happy together. I dont ever waste time being around people who are negative or make either of us feel like we cant make our own opions or descions, some people can be sooo toxic to be around sometimes. Keep your chin up, and one thing I always do is communicate with my fiance, no matter how hard it is for me to say some things sometimes....I jsut do it.

CF people are fairly resilient and being one myself I know that if anything ever bothered my other half about my health, I'd hope he'd share it with me, even if it's about something painful, if anyone is going to be understanding it's going to be a CF person.. GoodLuck <img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">

 

[anonymous]

Daryl,

True love in unconditional. That is why that richer for poorer, sickness and in health part is in the vows. I suggest you search your soul for that "uncondition" part. My wife married me knowing I was sick, knowing we probably can't have kids, knowing I am going to leave her a widow. That my friend is love. Please look at the CF wedding link I posted yesterday. I know my wife is very special person, but I can't belieeve she is one of a kind. My guess is that your girl wishes you would be too.


Luke

 

[Dha53213]

I know my love is i will be with her forever in heart and soul... I love her for everything she is and will be . Sometimes is hard thats all.
I will keep my head up and smile because with every waking moment my love grows fonder and my heart bigger. My smile more meaningful and life more amazing...