My CF friend tried to kill herself this morning. Took an entire bottle of advil. Yeah its a weak painkiller, but its effective if not fast. A friend of mine in highschool tried the same thing, but his father found him passed out on his bedroom floor with time to save him. Its also about the way her boyfriend died, nearly two months ago. Liver failure can take a couple days, and she did it this morning. So her best friend just called her father to get her stomach pumped. Hopefully he wont be a fool and think she's alright and disregard it. I might have to kill him for that.I dont know what exactly caused this. It might've been that today is two months from her dead boyfriend's birthday. The day we calculate that he took the pills that caused his demise. It might've been that she's dwelling on her future- short, and without him. It might've been because today she got kicked out of summer school, her father will be gravely disappointed in her for it, and that is just another huge stressor she cant deal with. Basically just sounds like she is absolutely incredibly stressed. At this point I dont even know how much of it is due to her CF.- - - - - - - - - Just got off the phone with my friend, her best friend. My friend doesnt have faith in her best friend's father, and 2/3 of the actions he might take could very easily result in death. She thinks he might not take it seriously. He might just go home and talk to the girl, and if she says she's alright, take her word for it. Thats a lethal mistake. He might call ahead and say he's coming home, and she would likely leave the house. Be gone long enough for her body to be destroyed beyond saving. Based purely on his options, there is about a 33% chance that her father will save her. Based on how he reacted to the news that his daughter is trying to kill herself, and how he is likely to handle it based on past experience... maybe 10-15%.And so at immense risk of destroying relations with the family and the chances of ever seeing her best friend again, my friend is calling the police. To make sure it is done, and done right. To avoid giving her friend's father a chance to screw things up by inaction or inappropriate action. But whether we see her again or not, she'd be alive.If this puts a mental burden on any of you, I am sorry. I realize that at this point I guess having CF is the least of my friend's problems, and so out of your field. Unless some of you happen to be therapists? How can I help her to survive the memory of her boyfriend? Actually.... I think this is extremely relevant to CF, because he was supposed to be her future. He was her way of dealing with CF. They were to be married, and have children. When she died, her husband and best friend would raise the kids.I guess what I need from you all, is the wisdom of experience. For those of you diagnosed at birth, how did you deal with it as a teenager? Did you try to plan your future as she did? She needs something to live for. A way to go on. I will do as much as I can to see that she gets physically active, but what else? Please think on this, I need very serious responses. The more the merrier but the deeper the better, and time is of the essence.-----------------------Dave21 \ M \ w/oCFCF SympathizerBleeding HeartShared AnguishI dont ask that anyone emails me responses or anything of the sort as I did before. I WILL be back to this site.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
Please Advise, Emergency Situation
- Thread starter anonymous
- Start date
I felt I needed to answer tough I do not really know what to say. Maybe a good way for her to deal with all this would be to talk about it. Have you tought about councelling? From all you said I'm guessing she won't be too willing, but it might really help her to talk to someone she doesn't know. Altought it's clear all her 'problems' at the moment don't all originite from CF, I know that some councellors (or at leats in Canada) are specialized in a way with not only CF but all 'recuring' illnesses I think they call it. You might think of accompanying her even (not in there of course, unless maybe she wants you to) but just to know someone is waiting might force her to go in a way and make her feel a little better, and that she matters to you, even if she lost someone important to her.It's not much but like I said, I couldn't leave that message unanswered, I hope your friend feels better eventually. Amelie
Actually I still think this is the perfect place for the subject. Apparently not you personally, but you as a group know more of what she's going through than anyone else I can think of. According to doctors, she doesnt get to live a full life. With what she does get to live, she attached an idea of how it could go best, and a vital part of that plan died two months ago.What kind of positive expectations can she have? She needs something positive, a reason that her last 10-15 years can actually be lived happily instead of how she sees them.I havent seen or spoken to her in a couple days, but I was at the hospital an hour ago and they were going through the overdose routine. I dont know if it will work, but it seems that it should. They had given her charcoal and I dont know what else.Dave
Dave, I do not know what to tell you either, but I felt that it required a reply as well. I am hoping that the CF team or hospital will get her into counselling now that she has attempted this. Each CF team has a social worker (at least in Canada) and they have the resources to get her some help. My only (non-professional) advice would be to stick by her. Having friends may be what she needs to give her that "reason to live" she is looking for. If she feels that there is something to go home to then it is a step in the right direction. You are obviously a caring and supportive friend and that is what she needs right now.Please let us know how she is doing. Write back and let us know which state or province she is in and maybe someone on this site can offer resources or numbers to call that will be helpful.Good luck!
serendipity730
New member
Dave, I made a suicide attempt once (more of a cry for help, 15 tylenol) 4 years ago. Please feel free to e mail me or have your friend e mail me @ mar_md@yahoo.com I am doing great now, and it greatly saddens me to know another CFer has gone down my path. Mary
Dave,Your friend obviously needs professional help, but for the time being someone needs to be with her 24/7 to make sure she doesn't try this again. If you get the police involved there is no doubt that they will make her get the help she needs. If the police are involved she might end up in an institution.I am sorry I can't explain what it was like to be a teenager with CF as I was not diagnosed until I was 22.Good LuckDave 29 w/cf
B
B
Guest
Dave,I am compelled to respond. I am 27 yrs old. The past three years my health has been up and down and then about two years ago I met this wonderful man. He encouranged me and supported me and my health begin to thrive. It was the first time I had ever felt TRUE UNCONDITONAL LOVE. 7/11/03 I lost him in a tragic motorcycle accident. This was the love of my life. We were scedule to leave on vacation the day I ended up burrying him. When we came back from vacation, I was going to close on my house and we were planning on starting our lives "together". We had no plans to get married becasue we both had bad previous marriages and belived that we did not need to be married to be "life partners". After this, my health plumted. I lost 20 lbs in 2 weeks and my lung functions went from mid 30's to low 20's. Those numbers may not mean alot to you, but lets just say I went from border line should be evaluated / to healthy for evaluation for transplant to my Dr telling me if something didn't change he didn't expect me to make it much over a year if that. I was in deep depression. I often asked God why I wasn't on the back with him and wished I was dead. Though I never seriously thought of any suisded attempts, I did wish I was dead. If it were not for my extremely supportive friends and family I would not have made it through it. It took atleast a good 3-6 months for me to get past the feeling that my whole world was falling appart. But through the support of family and friends as well as constant care for my Dr I made it through it. I am working full time. I am on the Transplant list; however, my lung functions are back up to the low to mid 30's and some good days even high 30's. If I keep it up they will probably move me to inactive <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0">.The story does get better......There was this guy that I have known and been friends with forever, About the time my boyfriend passed away, his divorce became final. I had never known him as more than a friend, This winter when I started getting out again, we started casually flirting but nothing big becasue I was still not ready for anything. He knew about my CF, and about my past. Back in May we finally decided to go out, Both saying we didn't want anything serious, There was an instant connection. There has not bee a day since our first date that we have not seen each other. Three days after we had our first date, I gave him a book to read that detailed more about CF as well as tranplsnt and the dangers and complications of transplant. I told him I wanted him to know what he was getting involved with before we got to involved. I did not want to put anyone through what I went through. He came back the next day after reading almost the entire book and asked if I was trying to scare him away. A week later, right before we were fixing to leave to go on a trip riding our Harley's in the Mountains, he asked me to Marry him. We have been married for 6 wonderful weeks. Yes, I still love my old boyfriend, I miss him dearly. Last Sunday my husband undersandable let me go out with my (& my old boyfriend's) best friends for a little memorial ride we did and then he met up with us later. I know my old boyfrined would have wanted me to go on , to find happiness again. I knew he was ok with everything becasue right after my husband asked me to marry him, I went to the cematery for our weekly chat, when I got back in the car a new country song by Tim MC Graw came on "Live like you were dying" The title says enough...I felt like that was his way of telling me it was ok.I know what your friend is going through. It is very painful. But she need to realize life does go on. She has alot in front of her. I do not know her general health, but it doesn't matter. What I went thorugh and came back shows it is possible. I learned alot out of the experiance and it has made me a much stronger person. Growing up with CF, I honestly never thought I would lose someone I loved except possibley my Grandparents. And when you do, that shock in its self is hard to deal with. It took me awhile but I have learned to live life to the fullest, NO ONE is promised tommorw. Counseling may be good for your friend. I would also reccommend antidepresants. atleast for a short time. I was on them for about 3 months and they seemed to really help with the intiall stages of "Why God" and the "just wanting to die" stage. If it hadn't been for them i may have also contemplated suiscide.You also asked in another post about "success stories" with here is mine. 27, Graduated college in 3 years, have my Certified fraud examiners license, Certified Public accounts License, Finacially independednt and secure, I own my own house which I am renting out because I moveing into my husband (hey it had the pool and the pool table!) I ride my own Harley Davidson. and I refuse to let this da@# disease or anything else take me down.Tell your friend if she wants to talk she can email me at fxdllady@hotmail.com
For whoever was asking... my friend's location is in Anaheim, Southern California, USA. I dont know how things are done in canada, but come to think of it, I dunno much about how its done in the USA either. Ive never heard of a CF team, and dont know if they keep track of her to any degree or even know of her. Kinda sad thing about her home... she lives in an apartment and any time you step out the front door you are at the top of the stairs, staring out over a wall that separates her housing complex from a cemetary. Nothing but graves and a few trees for a good distance. Im sure that is a very happy sight every day, with what she's got on her mind.Dave
NoDayButToday
New member
CFers usually refer to the various doctors, nurses, nutritionists, social workers etc, that they deal with as their CF Team. I think they may officially be called this as CFF accredited clinics, but most patients informally call their doctors etc their CF Team. Your friend probably at least has a doctor she sees regularly for CF care (or that she did before this spiraling depression)I don't really know what to say about your friend except I hope she gets help with everything (even beyond her CF problems) since everyday you don't spend living your life is another day you will never get back. Good luck.
B
B
Guest
I don't really mean to inspire anyone. I just hate to see people give up. Even though I know I have been there and I almost did give up. I guess knowing that it is possible to pull through and everything work out that the though of giving up pains me more. It took me a while to realize the is a purpose for evrything that God does, but after I realized that, everything jusst seem to work out.