questions about how you were raised

[Emily65Roses]

*gasp* I didn't know that before!!!

Yes, they're published by doctors. But only if enough people agree it's worth publishing. So find me some papers (by your doctors or others, I don't care which), or like I said... I'm good.

 

[NoExcuses]

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[Allie]

What about me? I'm a single mom. Do I not love my daughter because i simply can't stay home with her and still make a living?

It simply wasn't an option for us at some point, Ry was struggling to take care of himself, and I had to work. So what were we supposed to do? It's not whether or not we cared about her enough, it's whether it was practical or not.

 

[Emily65Roses]

Well then I don't want anything from those journals either. If there are ones that'll publish anything, then they aren't reliable. And I stated in the very first comment: "Got any links from reliable sources you could share?"

 

[NoExcuses]

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[lovingBenandCambree]

Just a few more comments on the subject. I absolutely agree with SeanDavis. I think that some people have absolutely gone overboard with purell and other types of things. We were very healthy kids growing up and neitehr went into the hospital until our teens. We swam in gross creeks with moss. I also wanted to say that for a lot of parents it is difficult for them to afford a child with CF again don't make statements like a mother doesn't care for her children.

Emilee

 

[NoExcuses]

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[Allie]

I don't think women should get pushed to not work. Who says the dad can't be pushed to not work? I love my job, and I would never give it up, even if I could. I love to work.

Ry wanted to stay home with her, is why she didn't go to daycare. He wanted to, no one pushed him. But he still kept working, just freelance.

I could never stay home with a child all day, and I admire those who can. I need adult contact.

If it's more common to get sick, you can extend that metaphor to homeschooling, then home training courses, then working from home. If you did what was most anti-germ for a Cfers whole life, they would never leave the house. I think the statement that parents "Don't care enough" is unfair.

Adited to add: I did note that in that article you supplied, it didn't say under can it be prevented? That a child should not attend day care.

 

[NoExcuses]

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[Seana30]

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[kybert]

wow whats the big downer about daycare? sometimes there is no other way for people. besides, its not that bad. i never went to 'daycare' but i did go to kindy and pre primary. i loved it. mum isnt some play machine 24/7 so it was good to be around kids my age and do lots of activities. i felt it helped me cope with primary school alot better. it was a great place to make friends too, for both me and my parents. i dont remember catching many things. the teachers were advised about my cf and they made sure i didnt do anything stupid or hang around kids with colds. sure there are germs but it isnt some huge stinking cesspool of germs.

 

[LisaV]

Wow.
Daycare wars.
I thought they were a thing of the past.

It's the job of little kids to build their immune system. Until they get one they'll get colds a lot when exposed to anytthin. To get an immune system they have to be exposed to stuff. They have to be out in the world -- daycare being one possibility. If your kids doc thinks they are so fragile that they can't handle having colds at all (thereby bulding up their immune system) they'll tell you to keep them in that bubble. If they think they can handle it they'll tell you that too.

About how you were raised - or jin my case - how my husband was raised.

We're talkin the 1950s here--a world without inhalers or steroids--or most of the treatments available now. He was raised shoehorned in a house with 2 families including 5 kids. They thought he was allergic to the world though so he didn't get vaccinations (and got lots of the childhood illnesses as a result) and didn't have pets and didn't have wheat products and .... well you et the idea. He also spent a lot of his youth in the hospital including in oxyen tents. But he did all of the childhood thins he could - got dressed up for Halloween and went marching thru the center of town with his sister and cousins, played baseball, etc. By high school he could "pass as well" and was a "good" hellion (that is went with his buddies across the state line to drink his lunch legally) and then came back to Catholic high school where he was a favorite of the nuns). Only his older sister who was there when he was really little and going into respiratory failure off and on thought of him as "fragile" his youner sibs who missed that never "got it".

Anyway he was able to "pass as well" (skiing, building houses, camping, etc) until he was in his 50s when his lungs really were pretty shot and it wasn't the "occassional pneumonia" but time for O2 24/7.

 

[Emily65Roses]

Not that this is entirely related, but people in general are one of the main causes for nasty resistant bugs, as it is. The only people who need to be extra clean are those who are chronically ill (and I would argue some people go overboard in these cases too) and immunosuppressed. And everyone and their d*mn mother is using antibacterial soap, and disinfecting EVERYTHING. This is why our bugs are so resistant. It's ridiculous. If everyone would just chill the eff out (except those that must be super-careful, i.e. tx patients), we wouldn't have such a big problem with this.

 

[wanderlost]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Seana30</b></i>

Amy,



I am not trying to put you down in anyway, and 99% of your posts and comments are heartfelt and people listen to you because when you speak you know what you are talking about.



BUT.....you are not a parent, and you are trying to tell the parents on this site what is right and wrong. I think that is why you have upset so many people with this post.
Seana</end quote></div>


Ok, since I started this post, I am now going to step in. I think Seana's right, that being a parent does make a huge difference in how you see things. Sure Amy is right, kids do get bugs at daycare. But guess what? I have CF - I went to day care and public school, and because I work - as a teacher in a public school - my son went to daycare (he is in kindergarten now), which means I out myself at risk of getting all those nasty bugs....not to mention, you think daycare is bad, public school is a pretty nasty place too. But somehow, we're FINE! I haven't missed work for anything other than a sinus infection in 6 years, nor has my son acquired anything worse than a 24 hour flu. Mainly though the point is, even if I hadn't been working, I would have put him in at least a part time preschool setting because kids need interactions and they need to be exposed to germs. Sure, we don't want our kids to get sick, especially our Cf kids (and I was one!), but the world is FULL of germs - grocery store carts, door handles, public restrooms, arcades - anywhere kids go - people go, there will be germs, so the choice for daycare is a personal one, and often in the child's best interest. A kid who stays at home may have a few less colds a year, but what happens to his brain as he watches sesame street and montell williams all day? Kudos to the moms who homeschool and make each day and interactive and educational wonder - but that is rare and HARD. Babysit a toddler for a few weeks all day and night and report back on how it goes.

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Emily65Roses</b></i>

Not that this is entirely related, but people in general are one of the main causes for nasty resistant bugs, as it is. The only people who need to be extra clean are those who are chronically ill (and I would argue some people go overboard in these cases too) and immunosuppressed. And everyone and their d*mn mother is using antibacterial soap, and disinfecting EVERYTHING. This is why our bugs are so resistant. It's ridiculous. If everyone would just chill the eff out (except those that must be super-careful, i.e. tx patients), we wouldn't have such a big problem with this.</end quote></div>


I agree totally. As a kid, my mom had me on anitbiotics for each runny nose I got (why the doctor agreed, I'll never know) - because of this I can no longer take many penicillian based drugs as I am resistant. 200 prescritptions of amoxicillian will do that I guess....while I know plenty of CFers are on a lot of antibiotics, I think even with CF, germ phobia and antibiotic use can get out of control.
My mom was always told I may get that one bout of pneumonia that would do me in....but I never got it - and as I got older, I started refusing the drugs at first sniffle...I wait until I am sure that the infection isn't getting better or that my body is not going to fight it off - and I especially watch that it doesn't progress further into my chest - but guess what - 8 out of 10 times, I don't need that antibiotic. Sure, I know maybe not everyone has this luxury, but I believe it strengthens my immunity....and as I told my mom - it's people like her who are creating these super bugs. Oh! I stubbed my toe - better get an antibitoic!

 

[Ratatosk]

Ouch -- I'm a terrible mother 'cuz I send him to daycare.

Yes, I was concerned when DS was first diagnosed about the daycare issue. But what do we do when it's time for him to go to elementary school -- do we free him from his little bubble and suddenly have exposed to all those germs after 5 years of staying at home in his sterile, safe environment? Yes, he goes to a daycare center. The first year, he was in the baby room -- only 5 other babies, no access to the older children. Now he's in with the toddlers -- again -- half a dozen of the same children in the same age group -- no contact with the older after school children. If someone is sick, they've got strict rules about letting them come to school.

As far as hot tubs -- read the consumer reports, had one, so I know how nasty those things can be first hand....

Liza

 

[anonymous]

On the daycare issue, I agree with both sides and I actually do agree with a lot of what Amy agrees, just not necessarily how she posted it because it did feel more like an attack than providing information/discussion.

First, on daycare, every child is different. AND every daycare is different. It is absolutely true that children are at higher risk for more serious infections and for more serious drug resistant infections if they attend a daycare center than if they're home with a parent. It honestly is a fact, widely published, as Amy says.

That said, not all parents can or want to stay home. Include me in the "want to" stay home but "have to work" category. If I didn't work, we would not have medical insurance and while my kids would qualify for aid, my husband and I would not, and we both have our own health issues and absolutely need coverage. That said, I did have to get creative with my 2 youngest children. We tried a daycare center and ds was constantly sick with major infections. VERY sick. It was a good center and took the necessary precautions but ds's health was not stable enough and the center was too large. We dropped him out at 9 months and my mom watched him for awhile. It took another 2 months for ds's lungs to stabilize. After a few more months, that was no longer an option because our dd was due soon and my mom could not watch them both (70 yrs at the time). We looked for a small, clean, in-home environment at that point. DS was still sick a lot but not nearly as much as he was in the daycare center, dd was also sick with lung/ear infections but not like ds had been. When he was 2-1/2 we had to switch back to a daycare center and did have another year where ds and dd (1 yr at the time) were both sick constantly, including with some pretty severe pneumonias but we had NO choice. We tried several other in home centers that didn't work out so we stuck it out. Now, at 8 and 6-1/2 they are both finally really healthy. Both have some lung scarring from that time but both have "normal" PFTs. DS's is actually 126%!!

Honestly, I think parents have to do what's best for their situation AND their child. If your child is receiving quality care and is not real sick in a daycare center, then great, that works for you<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> If, however, your child becomes really sick like mine did, then you need to adjust accordingly.

Also, I have to say that my two youngest are much more social than my oldest who did not attend daycare/preschool until he was 3-1/2 yrs. Part of it is just his nature, but I honestly believe part is because he did not have much social interaction with peers until he was past 3 yrs of age.

Last thing, on the homeschool topic, again, I say do what works best for your child/your family. I would NOT homeschool SOLELY because of germs, but depending on the situation/child, I would consider it. My 2nd ds would do better in a homeschool environment which would allow him to move at his own pace but it's not an option for us. If it's done right, homeschooling does NOT mean isolation like so many people think. I know MANY homeschoolers who have as active, or more active of a social life than my children AND who are way beyond their schooled peers in their education. It all just depends on the child, family, and situation.

Just my thoughts<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
Dawn, mom of 3

 

[JazzysMom]

Just my input here. My daughter went to day care for a bit over a year. She went to a certified provider that worked out of her home. She was excellent except for believing in a lot of old myths that had be crying to my daughters pediatrician alot, but anyway.....granted my daughter does not have CF, but I do so chances are good that she wold bring something home to me. She & I have been more sick since she has been in school then she ever was at daycare. I did get totally sick towards the end of her being at daycare, but at that time I was working at our local hospital in the admissions department....ha ha....great place for germs! We cant always go with statistics as us CFers should know otherwise the older ones (myself included) should be dead already. The statistic should be kept in mind when making a decision as with anything, but its only part of the equation you must compute before finding the solution!

 

[catboogie]

i want to point something out for paretns of cf children reading this. it seems like many of us were raised having a fairly normal childhood (myself included.) but please be aware that this is not an accurate sample...

i have always thought that 18 was kind of a "division line" for people with cf. many are very sick as kids and don't make it past that age. (give or take a few years with improvments in treatment that we have now.) since this is a forum for adults, it is more likely that fewer of us will have had bad childhoods, health wise. what i am saying is that these kids are underepresented in this particular place.

the relevance of this point, i believe, is that depending on if you are a parent of a very sick child or a semi-sick child, this could make a world of difference in how parents see the situation. there is less of a reason to keep kids in a bubble if they are doing pretty well, in other words. i think it is reasonable to expect that the kid's health will play into how much freedom living a normal life the parent chooses for the child.

as i said above, i had a pretty regular childhood. i was dx at age 3, then not in the hospital again until i was 11. then i was in a lot in high school but that was really my own fault for refusing to take care of myself and doing counter productive things... my mom was a clean freak about some things, but that was really her nature, didn't matter i had cf.

and about daycare... *clears throat* i really wasn't going to respond to this thread until the daycare stuff came up. i am adamently opposed to daycare. i do understand that there are people who get into situations where they feel like that is their only option. but often times it is not. rather it is that they either planned poorly for parenthood, or that they are not willing to compromise their career, or that they do not want to compromise their lifestyle. of course i don't think this applies to everyone. i am just saying in most cases, if the parents made it a priority to put their children and their children's health and wellbeing first, they could find a way to avoid daycare. *yes, i am a nanny* <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

(dr.) laura <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

 

[NoExcuses]

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[wanderlost]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>catboogie</b></i>
and about daycare... *clears throat* i really wasn't going to respond to this thread until the daycare stuff came up. i am adamently opposed to daycare. i do understand that there are people who get into situations where they feel like that is their only option. but often times it is not. rather it is that they either planned poorly for parenthood, or that they are not willing to compromise their career, or that they do not want to compromise their lifestyle. of course i don't think this applies to everyone. i am just saying in most cases, if the parents made it a priority to put their children and their children's health and wellbeing first, they could find a way to avoid daycare. *yes, i am a nanny* <img src="">
(dr.) laura <img src=""></end quote></div>

Bieng a nanny might give you a small amount of clout, but you can't speak as a parent. Daycare does not = I don't care about my child, and I find it funny that those who seem to have that opinion have no children of their own.