Hi -- I am an 18 yr old high shool student who is doing a report and was given the topic of a woman, who was seperatred from her husband for one month and has a 3 year old child with cystic fibrosis, se is now 3 months pregnant. Her income is 35,000 a year and has insurance through her husband's employer. I have done much research on the disease, but i want personal opinions and feelings. What do u advise thiswoman do ? keep the child? have it genetically tested before and? Could she handle another child with CF ? or just another child on top of one with CF ?Any insight would be helpful! Thank you so much and from my research My Prayers are with all of you and your families!
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Report question about having another child
- Thread starter anonymous
- Start date
If abortion is one of the options being considered I myself do not believe in abortion as a form of birth control. And that's exactly what it would be in this case. Whether or not she can handle another child with or without CF is a difficult one to answer. Adoption would be my advise if she decides that she is unable to care for the child. It can be done, life may be difficult at time but it can be done. I know of a woman that is a single parent with one CF child and one non-CF child. What you did not mention in your post is if this woman will have any support system. Family, her husband, close friends. Those all play a major part. With a support system you can do anything. Whether her husband remains her husband is not the issue but how involved he will remain, not just financially, which he is obligated to do. Having two children with CF is difficult yes. I myself have two. The oldest not being diagnosed until she was three, just one week before the second was born. We personally decided not to have anymore children because we just didn't want to take the chance. Had we known before... we wouldn't have our second daughter. She was meant to be here and we are so so happy that she is. Life would be incomplete without her. I suspect that is why we didn't know before she was conceived. Had we known any time before. Not even a thought, whether it was 3 weeks or 3 months. We/I would not have elected to find out before hand either. For us, for me, why bother. Abortion would never have been an option or even warrant a consideration. Knowing before hand can prepare you in the event that the test is postive but for me, why worry yourself. She was coming into this world anyway. As for adoption. Yes, babies/children with medical problems are more difficult to place but there are people out there that do adopt them. I know of a family that adopted a child with CF all the while knowing what CF was and what it meant adopting a child with CF. They love her. Much success with your paper. Liza
Hi I,m a 15 year old Freashmen and I'm doing the exact same project. I thought that she should keep the baby b/c there is only a 25% chance of it having cf though it has a 50% chance of being a carrier. Even if the baby has cf she should keep it b/c it is highly unlikely that the child would be adopted. Budgets are being cut for children with cf but there are still hospitals that are willing to give free meds & treatment for children with cf.
PS. My best friend when I was younger had cf and he lived a fairly normal life with his mom
Good luck with your Project
PS. My best friend when I was younger had cf and he lived a fairly normal life with his mom
Good luck with your Project
First, genetic testing, and as soon as possible. It's always best to know what you're dealing with.
Second, marriage counselling if she wants it.
Next, the mother should come up with what she thinks her best options are.
Does she even WANT another child?
Does she want to involve her husband in the decison making process? (Hopefully step 2 will help with this)
Does she want to bring another child into the world if she knows it has CF?
She should also talk to parents who have two or more children (CF/CF and CF/non-CF) to find out what the challenges will be. Does she feel she will up to that challenge?
Ultimately, the choice is the mother's. If she wishes to abort (CF or not), she should be supported in her decision. If she wishes to keep the child (CF or not), she should be supported and given as much information as possible. If she wishes to put the child up for adoption, she should be given as much information as she wishes (open or closed, etc...).
Second, marriage counselling if she wants it.
Next, the mother should come up with what she thinks her best options are.
Does she even WANT another child?
Does she want to involve her husband in the decison making process? (Hopefully step 2 will help with this)
Does she want to bring another child into the world if she knows it has CF?
She should also talk to parents who have two or more children (CF/CF and CF/non-CF) to find out what the challenges will be. Does she feel she will up to that challenge?
Ultimately, the choice is the mother's. If she wishes to abort (CF or not), she should be supported in her decision. If she wishes to keep the child (CF or not), she should be supported and given as much information as possible. If she wishes to put the child up for adoption, she should be given as much information as she wishes (open or closed, etc...).
As said before, genetic testing is always an option and sometimes covered by insurance-especially in her case because of the family history of CF. Second, just a personal experience, my husband has CF and has a brother 1.5 years older than him without CF. His father left his mom shortly after he was diagnosed with CF, and she raised 2 fine young men. It is possible, but honestly it really depends on the individual.
Julie
Julie
Hi - Without trying to offend anyone, can you let us know what subject or class these reports were assigned? High school sure has changed since I was a teenager. I have three daughers, the youngest w/CF. I don't know if I would like my daughters to get an assignment like this when they get older. There are too many factors that would effect them at such a personal level. Also, CF is so different for everyone, its effects are so different on every family, and honestly, I don't know how anyone can make an informed opinion without walking in these shoes.
I think it's great that you are looking for personal opinions to add to your report. I guess I just don't understand the teacher's objective of the assignment.
Maria (mother of three daughters, the youngest, Samantha, w/cf)
I think it's great that you are looking for personal opinions to add to your report. I guess I just don't understand the teacher's objective of the assignment.
Maria (mother of three daughters, the youngest, Samantha, w/cf)
i have a 4year old with cf decided to do genetic testing for my 2nd child i would of had an abortion if it was cf these children dont need to be born with these terrible thigs if todays medicine can prevent it i was lucky enough for my daughter not to have cf we have enough to deal with 1 cf
Jefferycooncat
New member
This is the college essay my Step-Daughter wrote on her first english essay at NorhtWest Vista College in SanAntonio, Texas.
Written by Cara Steading in memory of her Step-Brother Rodney Borden
RODNEY
I look down. There he is. He's so small. I love his little cheeks. They're the color of pink carnations. His eyes shimmer with excitement. He says hello and I hear the 'bama accent ring through his voice. I notice the tube running from his backpack up into his nose, and I get nervous. If I give him a hug will I squeeze to hard? What if he doesn't want me to hug him? Maybe I should shake his hand? What am I talking about? This is crazy. Leaning down, I wrap my arms around his little body. I feel his heart beat strum against my chest. My first time ever to hug my stepbrother.
We sit in the backseat and I hear the faint whisper of country on the radio. I see my Dad's shaggy beard in the review mirror. His smile is hidden beneath it. I feel Rodney's gaze on me, but I look out the window. I don't know what to say. A sign says were now in Gadson city. We pull into a seafood restaurant called Top O' the River. I wonder how Alabama seafood is. They don't have an ocean anywhere near by. Inside we sit down at one of the booths. Menus and silverware are laid in front of us. For the first time I get a good look at my new step-mom. Highlighted blonde hair frames her tan face. Her eyes are warm and caring, and I see a hint of sadness in their depths. Her voice is soft, and there's the same Alabama accent as Rodney's. Now I see why my Dad left Austin for a lady he had met only once before. This country girl has my Dad wrapped around her little finger with that sweet accent of hers. I smile, watching the two of them exchange kisses through out the meal. The waitress comes and I order shrimp, considering shrimp can still taste the same after twenty-four hours of shipping and handling.
Although it's dark out, I know when we've reached their house. It's much prettier than in the pictures. It reminds me of a perfect country home with it's white wooden walls, big windows, and giant front porch. I imagine the three of them lounging in rocking chairs drinking iced tea on hot afternoons. I get the sudden urge to run up and kiss the house and its sweetness. Instead we go inside where I'm given a short tour around. Rodney nearly jumps out of his skin with excitement when we finally head up the stairs to his room. He jets back and forth and I get out of breath just watching him. He shows me his swords; the figurines hung on his wall, his stuffed animals, his video game collection, his games, and his swords one more time. Sherrie comes in and herds Rodney over to the bed. He sits on the edge and she puts a vest over him. Switching it on the room fills with a loud buzzing noise. I watch as Rodney's body shakes from head to toe from the powerful vibrating. I feel uncomfortable standing in his room watching this, so I start to drift toward the stairs. Glancing back I say a swift "goodnight" and start to head down the stairs.
"I love you sis!" Rodney calls after me.
My hand grasps the handrail, and I look up. "I love you too Rod." I call back to him. I can hear them talking and laughing above me.
The sun glares through my window in the morning, toasting my face. I slide my feet around under the covers, loving the feeling of the silk sheets. Even my pillows are silk and I rub my cheek across it. Soon the sun becomes unbearable so I slip out of bed and head for the kitchen. I pour myself some juice and sit down at the dining room table.
"Well, good morning sleepy head." My dad says from the doorway. "We were wondering if you were going to wake up today or not. Rodney's driving me nuts asking every five minutes when you're going to get up."
Right then Rodney hustles past my dad and comes and sits next to me. I ruffle his hair, and grin at him.
"What you got planned for us today Rodney?" I ask.
"I want to show you my new video games. This one game is really cool; you have to shoot all of these Zombies. We can watch a movie to if you want."
My juice is still half full when I'm tugged up stairs to go shoot at Zombies. Rodney laughs when I shoot at my own men, or I die after only a few seconds. When I die from falling off a ledge his laughing turns to wheezing, and then to a terrible cough. I can hear his lungs trying to rid it self of all the fluid. My hands fidget on my lap, and I feel helpless. Finally his coughing seizes, leaving his face pink from the effort. He turns off the Nintendo and slowly makes his way downstairs. We go in to the living room and watch an old soap opera on tv. I don't know why neither of us changes the channel.
"Sis, is there any thing you want in my room when I die?" Rodney asks, gazing at me from across the room.
I wonder if he can hear my heart thundering.
"No, no, I don't think so." I reply weakly. I stare at the VCR. I can't blink. My heart hurts.
Being home feels good, but I miss the three of them already. I talk to Rodney constantly over the Internet, or when my dad calls he'll give him the phone.
"I love you sis. I miss you. When are you coming back to visit?" He asks me repeatedly. I smile and tell him "soon I hope. I miss you so much."
My dad calls to soon after that and tells me Rodney isn't doing well. My heart drops down to the pit of my stomach. I have to force air into my lungs.
"We asked him what he wished for more than anything, and he told us that he wants to see his sister one more time before he dies."
There's silence.
"I know that would be really hard on you, but I think you can handle it. You're a strong girl, and it would mean the world to him if you'd come."
Sitting on the plane going to see my stepbrother one last time is a heart wrenching experience.
We play video games, and he lets me win. We watch movies in complete silence. Sherrie and my Dad buy a cake and we celebrate his twelfth Birthday early. He slowly unwraps his presents, and sets them to the side. We all eat dinner together, but Rodney doesn't eat. Although I'm here, in his home, I barely see him. He sleeps away the days, coughing constantly morning and night. The illness owns him, has taken over his little body, and there's nothing we can do to help.
"I love you Rodney." I lean down and hug him. I say goodbye to Sherrie and my Dad, and get on the plane to head back home. Tears run down my face as I watch the airport drift out of sight. It's tough to go see your dying step-brother, but it's much worse to say goodbye.
Sitting at the computer, about to go online, my mom walks in. I let go of the mouse and look at her. Something feels wrong. She leans against the edge of the doorway, her gaze lingering a little past my right shoulder. A frown tugs at the corner of her lips. I wait in silence, giving her time to gather her words for what she is going to tell me. Her lips move.
"Rodney died last night. Your Dad called a while ago, but you were at the store. He said he'll call you again later, and that he loves you."
I have just been punched in the stomach. My body crumples up in a ball, and sobs rake through me. I can't feel my mom's hand rubbing my back. My head shakes back and forth. No, no, no, NO. This does not happen. He does not leave like this. I refuse for this to happen.
I lay in bed with the blankets pulled up to my neck. My eyes close and there he is, waiting for me beneath my eyelids. Tears blur his image. Don't worry little brother I have a plan that will change everything. I'm going to pick up my remote and rewind to the day I saw you, with your eyes full of excitement. I'm going to take you to carnivals, and fancy restaurants, and we'll go and buy tons of video games and play them all night long. I'll take you to museums where swords are incased in glass. I'm going to show you the world Rodney, because you deserve to see it. You love me and you don't even know me. You love me because I'm your sister, and you don't care about anything else. You don't care what I look like, or that I'm really bad at video games, or that my heart isn't as big as yours. I'll take you to the best doctor in the world Rodney, even if he's on the other side of the world. Were going to walk in to his office and he's going to smile. It's our lucky day! He has just discovered the cure to Cystic Fibrosis! Were going back to the little white country house in Piedmont. The four of us are going to sit on that huge front porch and drink iced tea, even if it's cold outside. This is what will happen when I press the rewind Rodney, because I don't think I can handle this ending. I close my eyes, and there you are, just beneath my eyelids. Where would you like to go little Rodney? We have so little time before I wake up.
RODNEY KEITH BORDEN
10-27-90----8-23-02
HE WAS 11 YEARS OLD WHEN HE BECAME AN ANGEL
RODNEY WAS A WARRIOR ON EARTH
NOW HE IS AN ANGEL IN HEAVEN
WE LOVE YOU
Please visit our website ~~~> http://alsherrie8.tripod.com
Written by Cara Steading in memory of her Step-Brother Rodney Borden
RODNEY
I look down. There he is. He's so small. I love his little cheeks. They're the color of pink carnations. His eyes shimmer with excitement. He says hello and I hear the 'bama accent ring through his voice. I notice the tube running from his backpack up into his nose, and I get nervous. If I give him a hug will I squeeze to hard? What if he doesn't want me to hug him? Maybe I should shake his hand? What am I talking about? This is crazy. Leaning down, I wrap my arms around his little body. I feel his heart beat strum against my chest. My first time ever to hug my stepbrother.
We sit in the backseat and I hear the faint whisper of country on the radio. I see my Dad's shaggy beard in the review mirror. His smile is hidden beneath it. I feel Rodney's gaze on me, but I look out the window. I don't know what to say. A sign says were now in Gadson city. We pull into a seafood restaurant called Top O' the River. I wonder how Alabama seafood is. They don't have an ocean anywhere near by. Inside we sit down at one of the booths. Menus and silverware are laid in front of us. For the first time I get a good look at my new step-mom. Highlighted blonde hair frames her tan face. Her eyes are warm and caring, and I see a hint of sadness in their depths. Her voice is soft, and there's the same Alabama accent as Rodney's. Now I see why my Dad left Austin for a lady he had met only once before. This country girl has my Dad wrapped around her little finger with that sweet accent of hers. I smile, watching the two of them exchange kisses through out the meal. The waitress comes and I order shrimp, considering shrimp can still taste the same after twenty-four hours of shipping and handling.
Although it's dark out, I know when we've reached their house. It's much prettier than in the pictures. It reminds me of a perfect country home with it's white wooden walls, big windows, and giant front porch. I imagine the three of them lounging in rocking chairs drinking iced tea on hot afternoons. I get the sudden urge to run up and kiss the house and its sweetness. Instead we go inside where I'm given a short tour around. Rodney nearly jumps out of his skin with excitement when we finally head up the stairs to his room. He jets back and forth and I get out of breath just watching him. He shows me his swords; the figurines hung on his wall, his stuffed animals, his video game collection, his games, and his swords one more time. Sherrie comes in and herds Rodney over to the bed. He sits on the edge and she puts a vest over him. Switching it on the room fills with a loud buzzing noise. I watch as Rodney's body shakes from head to toe from the powerful vibrating. I feel uncomfortable standing in his room watching this, so I start to drift toward the stairs. Glancing back I say a swift "goodnight" and start to head down the stairs.
"I love you sis!" Rodney calls after me.
My hand grasps the handrail, and I look up. "I love you too Rod." I call back to him. I can hear them talking and laughing above me.
The sun glares through my window in the morning, toasting my face. I slide my feet around under the covers, loving the feeling of the silk sheets. Even my pillows are silk and I rub my cheek across it. Soon the sun becomes unbearable so I slip out of bed and head for the kitchen. I pour myself some juice and sit down at the dining room table.
"Well, good morning sleepy head." My dad says from the doorway. "We were wondering if you were going to wake up today or not. Rodney's driving me nuts asking every five minutes when you're going to get up."
Right then Rodney hustles past my dad and comes and sits next to me. I ruffle his hair, and grin at him.
"What you got planned for us today Rodney?" I ask.
"I want to show you my new video games. This one game is really cool; you have to shoot all of these Zombies. We can watch a movie to if you want."
My juice is still half full when I'm tugged up stairs to go shoot at Zombies. Rodney laughs when I shoot at my own men, or I die after only a few seconds. When I die from falling off a ledge his laughing turns to wheezing, and then to a terrible cough. I can hear his lungs trying to rid it self of all the fluid. My hands fidget on my lap, and I feel helpless. Finally his coughing seizes, leaving his face pink from the effort. He turns off the Nintendo and slowly makes his way downstairs. We go in to the living room and watch an old soap opera on tv. I don't know why neither of us changes the channel.
"Sis, is there any thing you want in my room when I die?" Rodney asks, gazing at me from across the room.
I wonder if he can hear my heart thundering.
"No, no, I don't think so." I reply weakly. I stare at the VCR. I can't blink. My heart hurts.
Being home feels good, but I miss the three of them already. I talk to Rodney constantly over the Internet, or when my dad calls he'll give him the phone.
"I love you sis. I miss you. When are you coming back to visit?" He asks me repeatedly. I smile and tell him "soon I hope. I miss you so much."
My dad calls to soon after that and tells me Rodney isn't doing well. My heart drops down to the pit of my stomach. I have to force air into my lungs.
"We asked him what he wished for more than anything, and he told us that he wants to see his sister one more time before he dies."
There's silence.
"I know that would be really hard on you, but I think you can handle it. You're a strong girl, and it would mean the world to him if you'd come."
Sitting on the plane going to see my stepbrother one last time is a heart wrenching experience.
We play video games, and he lets me win. We watch movies in complete silence. Sherrie and my Dad buy a cake and we celebrate his twelfth Birthday early. He slowly unwraps his presents, and sets them to the side. We all eat dinner together, but Rodney doesn't eat. Although I'm here, in his home, I barely see him. He sleeps away the days, coughing constantly morning and night. The illness owns him, has taken over his little body, and there's nothing we can do to help.
"I love you Rodney." I lean down and hug him. I say goodbye to Sherrie and my Dad, and get on the plane to head back home. Tears run down my face as I watch the airport drift out of sight. It's tough to go see your dying step-brother, but it's much worse to say goodbye.
Sitting at the computer, about to go online, my mom walks in. I let go of the mouse and look at her. Something feels wrong. She leans against the edge of the doorway, her gaze lingering a little past my right shoulder. A frown tugs at the corner of her lips. I wait in silence, giving her time to gather her words for what she is going to tell me. Her lips move.
"Rodney died last night. Your Dad called a while ago, but you were at the store. He said he'll call you again later, and that he loves you."
I have just been punched in the stomach. My body crumples up in a ball, and sobs rake through me. I can't feel my mom's hand rubbing my back. My head shakes back and forth. No, no, no, NO. This does not happen. He does not leave like this. I refuse for this to happen.
I lay in bed with the blankets pulled up to my neck. My eyes close and there he is, waiting for me beneath my eyelids. Tears blur his image. Don't worry little brother I have a plan that will change everything. I'm going to pick up my remote and rewind to the day I saw you, with your eyes full of excitement. I'm going to take you to carnivals, and fancy restaurants, and we'll go and buy tons of video games and play them all night long. I'll take you to museums where swords are incased in glass. I'm going to show you the world Rodney, because you deserve to see it. You love me and you don't even know me. You love me because I'm your sister, and you don't care about anything else. You don't care what I look like, or that I'm really bad at video games, or that my heart isn't as big as yours. I'll take you to the best doctor in the world Rodney, even if he's on the other side of the world. Were going to walk in to his office and he's going to smile. It's our lucky day! He has just discovered the cure to Cystic Fibrosis! Were going back to the little white country house in Piedmont. The four of us are going to sit on that huge front porch and drink iced tea, even if it's cold outside. This is what will happen when I press the rewind Rodney, because I don't think I can handle this ending. I close my eyes, and there you are, just beneath my eyelids. Where would you like to go little Rodney? We have so little time before I wake up.
RODNEY KEITH BORDEN
10-27-90----8-23-02
HE WAS 11 YEARS OLD WHEN HE BECAME AN ANGEL
RODNEY WAS A WARRIOR ON EARTH
NOW HE IS AN ANGEL IN HEAVEN
WE LOVE YOU
Please visit our website ~~~> http://alsherrie8.tripod.com