I was wondering if anyone else has had this problem, I have two children with CF and one without, my middle child. During their teatments she has started biting her fingernails and sometimes chewing her hair. I try to distract her when I have time but she doesn't want to do anything else because the ones doing treatments are watching a great video or TV which she loves to do. I guess I'm just looking for someone who understands what she is feeling or what I'm feeling. I feel terrible about it.
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sibling who feels left out
- Thread starter anonymous
- Start date
AbsintheSorrow
New member
Why can't she watch the video with the ones who are doing the treatment?
AbsintheSorrow
New member
Oh... well I don't know what to tell you. I'm not a parent, just a CFer. My sister doesn't have it, but I don't remember her doing anything like that (that's not to say she didn't). And this is no consolation for right now, but one day the "left-out" sibling will be happy she doesn't have it. Heh. <img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">
Augustmoon
New member
have a 9 month old son with CF and a 4 yr. old daughter without. I believe she has those neglected feelings too. She even said she wished she had to have CPTs and treatments! It must be hard for your daughter to be the only one not doing ANYTHING the other two are doing. How old are your kids? Is she old enough to know what's going on? Is there something special that only she would like to do while the other two are doing treatments? Almost like it's her's and mommy's "secret" so she feels special? (I don't know how old she is, so I'm not sure if this would work...but it works for my daughter)<img src="i/expressions/sun.gif" border="0">
Thanks Amanda, My middle child without CF is 6, she has also asked if she could do treatments! I will have to think of something special, a secret would really interest her. That's a good idea. I can't always do it because there are many times that my youngest needs manual CPT in addition to her Vest and even doing her Vest, if left unattended, will wiggle her way out of it, so I couldn't give the 6 yr old my undivided attention but I know I have to do something. I'll do a lot of thinking today. I appreciate your help. Hope all is well with your family. Thanks again!
Augustmoon
New member
You are very welcome!! We are doing well, hope the same for you! <img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">
NoDayButToday
New member
Along the lines of having a "secret" with Mommy, how about getting her a special toy she can only play with while your other two children are doing treatments? Just a thought.
Augustmoon
New member
Let us know if it works!!!!! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0">
Hi,I am a sibling in the middle of two cfers. My older sis and younger brother have it, but not me. I used to feel the same way. The only way I can explain it is, at a young age, I felt that my parents were giving them all of their attention. Unfortunately, they did not do any special things with me. I just had to "deal with it". Now at the age of 29(almost 30), I understand why they spent so much time with them. It is hard for a middle child with older and younger siblings having this disease. Unfortunately your middle one is still young. She will understand. Just keep in mind that you need to spend special time with her the way you do the other two. Make sure you try to explain to her that her siblings need this to help them feel better. Even though she is a child, I think deep down she will understand. While the other two are getting treatments, maybe try and give her something special to do to help. Just a thought.Kay29yrs w/o cf30(almost 31) yr sis w/cf & cfrd23(almost 24) yr brother w/cf
I wanted to let everyone know that my child w/o CF is very happy to have a Miracle Baby to take care of during treatments now. She gives it a bottle, burps it, and even gets up to push it around in a stroller sometimes. It's working great right now. I still ache for her and as a mother even ache for you Kay. I know it is very hard for siblings. Thank you all for understanding and helping.
AbsintheSorrow
New member
I would just like to say CF family members, including siblings, rule. I never put much thought into it, because I figure it has to be easier to be my sister and my parents because they don't actually deal with the CF firsthand. And this is true, but at the same time... if I think about which place I'd rather be in.. the dying one, or the loved one of a dying one, I'd rather be the one dying, personally. I have a much easier time dealing with it from this position and I don't know how I'd do if I was in any of the positions of my family members. So any non-CF family members of CFers... be ever so glad you don't have CF once you are old enough to understand that the parents aren't ignoring you or giving your siblings more attention. But keep being awesome too. Heh. <img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">
Augustmoon
New member
That was wonderful...thank you, Emily!<img src="i/expressions/present.gif" border="0">
We have three children the oldest does not have CF. He is a great kid (15) but I know he deals with a lot and keeps it bottled in (explodeing every now and then) We try to get him to talk about it. I think a lot of what he has always dealt with is guilt. He is a very sensitive teen and deep thinker. T