Sick people who just don't get it

[Ratatosk]

Every year during cold and flu season I deal with people at work who crawl out of the deathbeds to spread their germs and happiness. I work with several who cough all over the community food in the break room, don't wash their hands, cover their mouths when the cough & sneeze. I've always struggled with this and during these times I wash my hands frequently, avoid them and if all else fails, have announced to my supervisor that should someone come to work with a contagious bug, I will take time off, so I don't bring any bugs home to my family.

On the home front, my inlaws are the WORST! My FIL has chronic sinus problems -- multiple surgeries, infections -- I am constantly asking him NOT to touch or wipe DS's face -- he carries a hanky around and I know he doesn't always wash his hands and he hates it when DS has food on his face. Add to that a great uncle with "asthma" -- semi-ex smoker with a nasty productive cough, a younger cousin who we only see on holidays is always coughing and has had "allergy testing -- they're very secretive, but if he has allergies, why was he put on zithromax for his last "allergy attack...

Last night I was fit to be tied. DH was out of town for work and I had a meeting, so my MIL took DS over to their house for dinner, bath... When I got there, their college aged granddaughter was there and I hear MIL tell DS to stay away from K -- she's got a "cold". We realize DS can't live in a bubble, but I am so friggen sick and tired of family members exposing DS to bugs claiming it's just a cold. K was barking like a seal with a nasty cough -- there's some sort of upper respiratory, laryngitis bug going around.

So now I'm worried about DS getting K's upper respiratory bug. We've been so lucky lately and I worry sometimes that if I get to confident about DS' health, the powers that be will take me down a notch by getting DS sick. And I'm also angry that my MIL didn't insist on taking DS back to our house. But she's soooo worried about offending someone. I'm just fit to be tied. Spoke to DH this morning and told him he needs to have a talk with his family again. That we need to know if people are sick -- we've had people show up to family holidays with pnemonia, another battling an infection in his hip. I just wish people would use common sense and stay away if they're ill. Okay, done with my rant! Feeling much better, albeit still worried ds will get sick.

 

[Mommafirst]

Oh boy you've just articulated all my fears!!  This will be
the first winter since our diagnosis and I'm scared to death about
all the germs my dd will be exposed to.  I have been very very
clear with family and friends that no one with so much as a cold
can come see us.  I may be being overprotective, but right now
I can.  Someday she'll go to school and have to be exposed to
germs.  But for now I can control most things and I plan
to.  

 

[coltsfan715]

This drives me crazy as well.

My fiance's sister is the worst for me. She usually gets sick right at the end of any IV antibiotic treatment I have and never has the decency to tell anyone. She will knowingly come around me hacking and coughing her guts all over the place - even though she knows that I have just spent 2+ weeks on IV meds. I have gotten to the point where the last time I was in the hospital I would tell Kurt I wasn't doing anything with his family unless I had a gaurantee that she was not sick - meaning he had to ask her and she had to specifically say no and prepare for a verbal and possibly phsyical beating if she lied about it lol (unfortunately only a part of me was joking about the physical beating). I ended up nto seeing her for over a month afterwards. Even then the first time I saw her she was nursing some stomach thing.

People are just ignorant. I have come to the point where I don't care what people think anymore. I will flat out tell someone to get away from me if they are coughing or I will say can you cover your mouth or take that elsewhere. Either that or I will move away from them and I will make a point to tell them. I really don't need to be around your germs I know you don't care, but I can't afford to get sick. That always seems to make them more aware, at least temporarily.

I have also had a hard time with people wanting to share food and drinks and such and the thought of that makes my skin crawl. People just don't understand why and pick at me and call me a germaphob because of it. I just have to let it go or I would be giving the "I'm so sorry that I have an incurable disease that makes me more prone to life threatening respiratory infections!" speech lol. I think we all know that feeling.

I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. Props to you also, for sticking to your guns about this. People tend to take it less serious when they see that you are willing to compromise on it, the less you give in maybe they will start to "get it"

Take Care,
Lindsey

 

[Ratatosk]

When DH's cousin had a baby last winter, his Mom was after us to take DS over to see his new cousin. And we kept saying "DS" is a germy toddler and we don't want to risk him getting the teeny tiny newborn sick. I just about FLIPPED when I attended a baby shower about 4 months later and another cousin's teenage daughter showed up with "bronchitis", but was going to "keep her distance" and later in the afternoon she was HOLDING the new baby. I'm surrounded by morons!

And the sharing of foods and drinks. DS always wants to drink out of our glasses, which we don't have a problem with (except he backwashes, bleah) provided DH and I aren't coming down with a cold or something. But then he thinks he has to drink out of grandpa's tea -- he spends a fair amount of time at his grandparents, so I'm not too concerned about that -- would rather he didn't and usually if I'm around I suggest he have his own -- but last summer he asked his great-uncle who has health problems and we only see every 2-3 year, for a drink of his tea and before I could stop him drank out of it.

Just guess I'm going to have to be even more of a bad##s about this. When DS was first diagnosed and his first winter was in the midst of the worst flu season in history, DH and I said if we show up to a family event and someone is sick, we will turn around and leave. Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone in this.

 

[amber682]

My sis does this constantly. She has a daughter the same age as my son. She would come over so the kids can play and a couple hours into it mention that my neice has been coughing or sneezing or whatever. I finally had to start calling ahead of time to make sure my neice wasn't sick. One day she was out and about and stopped by my house unexpectedly to use the phone. She was so sick! I literally couldn't even concentrate on what she was saying to me because I was so busy making a menatl note of everything she touched- the phone, the doorknobs, the fridge door handle. As soon as she walked out the door I was all over it with the clorox wipes! Come on, if you're that sick spend the 50 cents to use a payphone instead of coming to my house to use my phone.

On another note, this sister and her husband and my neice moved to North Carolina last month and I really miss hanging out with my sis and letting the kids play together (when they're not sick!) so now I feel bad that I'm talking about her.

 

[anonymous]

I totally understand what everyone is saying but try and see if from the other side. I know that my friends will stay around me when I am sick because they honestly don't think about it. We can't expect people to think about us all the time, it is up to us to stay away from them. I find that people have so much on their minds anyway to think of others all the time. In general I try to stay away from anyone with a cold because I know that they won't think about it so i am responsible for myself.

Also, I don't know how old your son is, but it would probably be best if he doesn't drink out of any glass. It is hard to tell a child that they can drink out of some people's glasses but not others.

As I said before I understand what everyone is saying, but I found that if i relied on others to be considerate then i would be waiting a long time

Sue 24w/CF

 

[anonymous]

I know how all of you guys are feeling I feel the same way peope just don't seem to understand the severity of this illlness and just how sick you can get from other people and then to say you are rude when you tell them that you can't be around them or their sick kids if they are sick they just think that you are paranoid which in a way you should be. If they would take the time to learn more about the disease then maybe they would understand

 

[Ratatosk]

Thing that bugs me is when it comes to other things, my MIL, who is a retired nursing instructor is an insane germaphobe, but anything involving her family in which she might become embarrased or it might cause a scene -- all common sense goes in the toilet. She was afraid last summer to ask her BIL, who was smoking cigars outside, to move over 'cuz it was blowing into the house thru the window.

DH was still out of town last night, so she came over to help me with DS's beatment and she mentions off handedly that K has pneumonia. I indicated, I had been concerned with her hoarseness and cough. "Oh, no, she wasn't coughing. (denial, denial, oblivious) she didn't start coughing until she back to her dorm last night and woke up with a coughing fit." I basically indicated that I was concerned anytime someone was coughing a productive cough because most people cough into their hands and don't think to wash them or use antibacterial gel afterwards. Grrr! Godforbid I criticize her other precious family members.

We get the "It's thanksgiving and xmas", too! Can't go to the doctor because it's a holiday, but can show up with strep, stomach bug, productive cough, pink eye.

We just want to know if there are any major bugs, so we can make a conscious effort, a decision as to how to deal with it. We realize DS is going to be exposed to bugs, he's going to get colds, but when someone has something nasty and has yet to finish/start antibiotics, etc, we get a little irked.

Aren't families fun!? <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">