Here is what's up with me...One tat I have 100% agreed on (the mom one)...The other one I came to an ephiany tonight and realized just how true and relevant it was, and I should have it as well to temper my personality.
As for the mom tattoo...I have a very old black and white modeling pic of my mother (she is now 76), laying down on a sand dune, when she was like 19, laying down with both her hands as a pillow on the side of her head...She had been the most important person in my life hands down. I want to get a black and white (I have always loved black and white. Colored tats are lame to me) of her on that dune, right over my heart...With something simple as in her name, and then something ambiguous like "always", or "never away". Either way, while it would at first infuriate her because she is massively anti tat, she would eventually realize my first and only (at that time) tat would be about and for her/me. And would illustrate our bond...
I'm pretty much doing what I describes in that, or some variant regardless...
Now as for the controversial tattoo...
Anyone ever hear of Richard Kuklinski? Well, the cliff notes version is he was a kid from New Jersey who had a real shitty family life, his dad was EXTREMELY abusive, and his mom was totally unlovingm and (gasp) he turned out to not care about other human beings, and was THE most notorious contract killers for the mob, of all time.
Here is what I found on youtube, with his name (iceman = uff chuck lidell).
<a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQ6d_Yj_IRc
">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQ6d_Yj_IRc
</a>
Upon further looking, here is a search on google video about iceaman...
<a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://video.google.com/videosearch?q=iceman&sitesearch=
">http://video.google.com/videos...?q=iceman&sitesearch=
</a>
The actual DVD interview series is a 3 parter...I will link what I saw in case people want to watch...I know the first time I saw them, I was fascinated (I'm a criminal justice/psychology major).
<a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5740692213665972395&q=iceman&total=4874&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=0
">http://video.google.com/videop...type=search&plindex=0
</a>
<a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5116812489134120077&q=iceman&total=4874&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=1
">http://video.google.com/videop...type=search&plindex=1
</a>
(the above = part 1 and 2...there is a part 3 I watched tonight, dont see a link though...Regardless, it gives a great idea of what he was about)
Now for my second tat...I have always wanted #1 an image of me (in my opinion, something fairly pure, who constantly fights against evil, apathy, and general indifference. I realize there is a cause to be good, and others go bad. I realize it is beneficial to be on the one side of the coin, and not to become a moral/ethic/social parasite...This in itself is a long post, but lets leave it at that for the most part)...
Looking into a mirror, with the larger, most identifiable image (portrayed to be myself, but from another perspective - as in outside the mirror, while MY image is inside the mirror) being a complete monster on ever level...Hitler could easily fit that bill, but there is zero part of the good me associated with him. Aside from some racial jokes here and there, I hold nothing in common with the man, and hate nobody. Faust was an idea, due to his quest for knowledge, but he had no universal understood appearance...And knowledge is of course constantly fleeting.
I thought about doing something fun with Einstein, or other great minds who I respect, but again, this person had to be the ultimate boogie man. It's not like I could tat Stephen Hawking as a bad guy...
So I chose Mr. Kuklinski. Why? While I 99% disagree with everything he has ever done (the other 1% was his love for his family, and how he tried his best to isolate them from his actions). I see how he can embody the complete, and utter dark side of humanity, and very bad decisions. For a very brief second, while (for the sake of discussion) we are cut off very bad in traffic (to the point where we run off the road and possibly endanger our children in the car), we for one very brief second, wish very serious harm/death/revenge of some nature on those who did that to us. Even if you want to openly say you haven't/wouldn't, it's there to some extent...and to some extent, you have. If you say you haven't, you aren't only lying to yourself, you are lying to the rest of us (and that last part is never good).
I truly want a complete, unadulterated monster near me at all times (hence the tat), something that I never want to become, but at the same time know is always there with possibility of being born. I am so far removed from being like Kuklinski it's not even funny. Aside from weight lifting, and occasionally getting angry with those messing with my mate and our family, I'm the least violent person on earth.
BUT, and here is the big BUT...I realize all humans have capacity for anything, given the right (or wrong) stimulus, situation, and needs...Mother Theresa could turn into a murdering maniac if she needed to do so in order to feed a whole ward of starving children...Especially so if those she killed were complete wastes of space...
Do you see where I am going now? Most if not all of us on here are kind hearted wonderful people...I know I am...But wouldn't it be prudent to remind yourself of the growling beast sequestered behind a door, on it's banist level, that has the possibility to come out given the right circumstances?
I'm so clean, and purity driven regarding ethics/actions/responsibility...I could only imagine how I could act if I was raised by parents that raised Mr. Kuklinski, had his life, and was surrounded by complete wastes of crap...Where others were willing to pay me to remove them...It's a *HUGE* if...But I think having something like that (besides my mom), near me at all times, willing to show their face to me often, and generally be a bad example...Why not?
I know i'm a good person, and will fight to my very last breath against the dying of the light...But occasionally you can lose motivation...Someone that dispicable is a very good motivating factor on why you keep keepin on...
Any ideas? Opinions? BTW if you haven't, watch the video links I provided...Amazing *****
As for the mom tattoo...I have a very old black and white modeling pic of my mother (she is now 76), laying down on a sand dune, when she was like 19, laying down with both her hands as a pillow on the side of her head...She had been the most important person in my life hands down. I want to get a black and white (I have always loved black and white. Colored tats are lame to me) of her on that dune, right over my heart...With something simple as in her name, and then something ambiguous like "always", or "never away". Either way, while it would at first infuriate her because she is massively anti tat, she would eventually realize my first and only (at that time) tat would be about and for her/me. And would illustrate our bond...
I'm pretty much doing what I describes in that, or some variant regardless...
Now as for the controversial tattoo...
Anyone ever hear of Richard Kuklinski? Well, the cliff notes version is he was a kid from New Jersey who had a real shitty family life, his dad was EXTREMELY abusive, and his mom was totally unlovingm and (gasp) he turned out to not care about other human beings, and was THE most notorious contract killers for the mob, of all time.
Here is what I found on youtube, with his name (iceman = uff chuck lidell).
<a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQ6d_Yj_IRc
">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQ6d_Yj_IRc
</a>
Upon further looking, here is a search on google video about iceaman...
<a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://video.google.com/videosearch?q=iceman&sitesearch=
">http://video.google.com/videos...?q=iceman&sitesearch=
</a>
The actual DVD interview series is a 3 parter...I will link what I saw in case people want to watch...I know the first time I saw them, I was fascinated (I'm a criminal justice/psychology major).
<a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5740692213665972395&q=iceman&total=4874&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=0
">http://video.google.com/videop...type=search&plindex=0
</a>
<a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5116812489134120077&q=iceman&total=4874&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=1
">http://video.google.com/videop...type=search&plindex=1
</a>
(the above = part 1 and 2...there is a part 3 I watched tonight, dont see a link though...Regardless, it gives a great idea of what he was about)
Now for my second tat...I have always wanted #1 an image of me (in my opinion, something fairly pure, who constantly fights against evil, apathy, and general indifference. I realize there is a cause to be good, and others go bad. I realize it is beneficial to be on the one side of the coin, and not to become a moral/ethic/social parasite...This in itself is a long post, but lets leave it at that for the most part)...
Looking into a mirror, with the larger, most identifiable image (portrayed to be myself, but from another perspective - as in outside the mirror, while MY image is inside the mirror) being a complete monster on ever level...Hitler could easily fit that bill, but there is zero part of the good me associated with him. Aside from some racial jokes here and there, I hold nothing in common with the man, and hate nobody. Faust was an idea, due to his quest for knowledge, but he had no universal understood appearance...And knowledge is of course constantly fleeting.
I thought about doing something fun with Einstein, or other great minds who I respect, but again, this person had to be the ultimate boogie man. It's not like I could tat Stephen Hawking as a bad guy...
So I chose Mr. Kuklinski. Why? While I 99% disagree with everything he has ever done (the other 1% was his love for his family, and how he tried his best to isolate them from his actions). I see how he can embody the complete, and utter dark side of humanity, and very bad decisions. For a very brief second, while (for the sake of discussion) we are cut off very bad in traffic (to the point where we run off the road and possibly endanger our children in the car), we for one very brief second, wish very serious harm/death/revenge of some nature on those who did that to us. Even if you want to openly say you haven't/wouldn't, it's there to some extent...and to some extent, you have. If you say you haven't, you aren't only lying to yourself, you are lying to the rest of us (and that last part is never good).
I truly want a complete, unadulterated monster near me at all times (hence the tat), something that I never want to become, but at the same time know is always there with possibility of being born. I am so far removed from being like Kuklinski it's not even funny. Aside from weight lifting, and occasionally getting angry with those messing with my mate and our family, I'm the least violent person on earth.
BUT, and here is the big BUT...I realize all humans have capacity for anything, given the right (or wrong) stimulus, situation, and needs...Mother Theresa could turn into a murdering maniac if she needed to do so in order to feed a whole ward of starving children...Especially so if those she killed were complete wastes of space...
Do you see where I am going now? Most if not all of us on here are kind hearted wonderful people...I know I am...But wouldn't it be prudent to remind yourself of the growling beast sequestered behind a door, on it's banist level, that has the possibility to come out given the right circumstances?
I'm so clean, and purity driven regarding ethics/actions/responsibility...I could only imagine how I could act if I was raised by parents that raised Mr. Kuklinski, had his life, and was surrounded by complete wastes of crap...Where others were willing to pay me to remove them...It's a *HUGE* if...But I think having something like that (besides my mom), near me at all times, willing to show their face to me often, and generally be a bad example...Why not?
I know i'm a good person, and will fight to my very last breath against the dying of the light...But occasionally you can lose motivation...Someone that dispicable is a very good motivating factor on why you keep keepin on...
Any ideas? Opinions? BTW if you haven't, watch the video links I provided...Amazing *****