Sports Organization Discriminating against my daughter w/CF

Mom2Brinly · Oct 19, 2011

I just cannot believe this! My daughter 7 years old is on a PAID (YES...I have paid $400.00 for her to cheer and to get this *****) local Football Little league cheerleading team. 
This is the deal and actual kicker- the head cheer coach WAS (due to this incident i cannot even look at her) a FRIEND! She is FULLY aware of Brinly's CF and her 7year old is a good friend of Brinly's they even sent balloons to her in the hospital just a month ago!! Brinly has had a very rough year with 3 hospital admins and every one knows that her health is the upmost important. Last Sat. she was hungary so i brought her subway to the game. They are to cheer on the sidelines for 3 hours with one break at halftime. BUT because Brinly needs extra calories( we are looking into getting a G-tube if she doesn't gain weight and she is on cyproheptadine which makes her eat!) I brought her a sandwich to eat. I pulled her out and told the (x) friend/coach that she needed to eat something. I then on Monday morning got the rudiest email stating that if Brinly does not follow the rules that she will basically not be able to particiate in cheering!!! 
Does anyone know if there is a law or advacate to use as a ground for my daughthers defense?? Brinly LOVES cheerleading and we have followed every rule except for the fact that she requires extra breaks, snacks and drinks during game. I have been very discreet and Brinly has even given me a "signal" to bring her snack or drink when she needs one while cheering! She has a 504 that the school follows but as per her #@#@ coach said "this is a private teams organization's rules" She is NOT bending at all and has taken this cheerleading to the extreme!
What would you guys do???
 
Thanks so much-
Blythe 
mom to Brinly cf

Mom2Brinly · Oct 19, 2011

I just cannot believe this! My daughter 7 years old is on a PAID (YES...I have paid $400.00 for her to cheer and to get this *****)local Football Little league cheerleading team. 
This is the deal and actual kicker- the head cheer coachWAS (due to this incident i cannot even look at her) a FRIEND! She is FULLY aware of Brinly's CF and her 7year old is a good friend of Brinly's they even sent balloons to her in the hospital justa month ago!! Brinly has had a very rough year with 3 hospital admins and every one knows that her health is the upmost important. Last Sat. she was hungary so i brought her subway to the game. They are to cheer on the sidelines for 3 hours with one break at halftime. BUT because Brinly needs extra calories( we are looking into getting a G-tube if she doesn't gain weight and she is on cyproheptadine which makes her eat!) I brought her a sandwich to eat. I pulled her out and told the (x)friend/coach that she needed to eat something. I then on Monday morning got the rudiest email stating that if Brinly does not follow the rules that she will basically not be able to particiate in cheering!!! 
Does anyone know if there is a law or advacate to use as a ground for my daughthers defense?? Brinly LOVES cheerleading and we have followed every rule except for the fact that she requires extra breaks, snacks and drinks during game. I have been very discreet and Brinly has even given me a "signal" to bring her snack or drink when she needs one while cheering! She has a 504 that the school follows but as per her #@#@coach said "this is a private teamsorganization's rules" She is NOT bending at all and has taken this cheerleading to the extreme!
What would you guys do???

Thanks so much-
Blythe 
mom to Brinly cf

Mom2Brinly · Oct 19, 2011

I just cannot believe this! My daughter 7 years old is on a PAID (YES...I have paid $400.00 for her to cheer and to get this *****)local Football Little league cheerleading team. 
This is the deal and actual kicker- the head cheer coachWAS (due to this incident i cannot even look at her) a FRIEND! She is FULLY aware of Brinly's CF and her 7year old is a good friend of Brinly's they even sent balloons to her in the hospital justa month ago!! Brinly has had a very rough year with 3 hospital admins and every one knows that her health is the upmost important. Last Sat. she was hungary so i brought her subway to the game. They are to cheer on the sidelines for 3 hours with one break at halftime. BUT because Brinly needs extra calories( we are looking into getting a G-tube if she doesn't gain weight and she is on cyproheptadine which makes her eat!) I brought her a sandwich to eat. I pulled her out and told the (x)friend/coach that she needed to eat something. I then on Monday morning got the rudiest email stating that if Brinly does not follow the rules that she will basically not be able to particiate in cheering!!! 
Does anyone know if there is a law or advacate to use as a ground for my daughthers defense?? Brinly LOVES cheerleading and we have followed every rule except for the fact that she requires extra breaks, snacks and drinks during game. I have been very discreet and Brinly has even given me a "signal" to bring her snack or drink when she needs one while cheering! She has a 504 that the school follows but as per her #@#@coach said "this is a private teamsorganization's rules" She is NOT bending at all and has taken this cheerleading to the extreme!
What would you guys do???

Thanks so much-
Blythe 
mom to Brinly cf

CysticlyFIT · Oct 19, 2011

Hey! Im sorry to hear your having a lousy time,

I don't have a child, but I use to take lots and LOTS of dance classes, that were paid, around Brinly's age as well, and my mother never reveled my CF to nosy teachers, friends ect, as no matter, in reality being 'open' with CF sadly -we still have too many unforgiving and discriminatory people who are totally ignorant....

This ex-friend of yours would know all about it if her/his kid had CF, is the coach's daughter in the same cheer squid?

There is not reason why she cant eat when she needs to, tell her you want a copy of this team organization rules, THEY ARE SUPPOSE TO HAVE A BOOK and where it says this exactly , -and you want to speak to someone ABOVE her, she's not running this show,- shes only a coach....and don't let this woman walk over you....bring her down....without bringing yourself to her level of course!

You can go to the cf foundation website for anything you see discriminatory, there even a legal hot-line you can speak to.

Hope this helps ! What a pain !

CysticlyFIT · Oct 19, 2011

Hey! Im sorry to hear your having a lousy time,

I don't have a child, but I use to take lots and LOTS of dance classes, that were paid, around Brinly's age as well, and my mother never reveled my CF to nosy teachers, friends ect, as no matter, in reality being 'open' with CF sadly -we still have too many unforgiving and discriminatory people who are totally ignorant....

This ex-friend of yours would know all about it if her/his kid had CF, is the coach's daughter in the same cheer squid?

There is not reason why she cant eat when she needs to, tell her you want a copy of this team organization rules, THEY ARE SUPPOSE TO HAVE A BOOK and where it says this exactly , -and you want to speak to someone ABOVE her, she's not running this show,- shes only a coach....and don't let this woman walk over you....bring her down....without bringing yourself to her level of course!

You can go to the cf foundation website for anything you see discriminatory, there even a legal hot-line you can speak to.

Hope this helps ! What a pain !

CysticlyFIT · Oct 19, 2011

Hey! Im sorry to hear your having a lousy time,
 
 I don't have a child, but I use to take lots and LOTS of dance classes, that were paid, around Brinly's age as well, and my mother never reveled my CF to nosy teachers, friends ect, as no matter, in reality being 'open' with CF sadly -we still have too many unforgiving and discriminatory people who are totally ignorant....
 
 This ex-friend of yours would know all about it if her/his kid had CF, is the coach's daughter in the same cheer squid?
 
 There is not reason why she cant eat when she needs to, tell her you want a copy of this team organization rules, THEY ARE SUPPOSE TO HAVE A BOOK and where it says this exactly , -and you want to speak to someone ABOVE her, she's not running this show,- shes only a coach....and don't let this woman walk over you....bring her down....without bringing yourself to her level of course!
 
 You can go to the cf foundation website for anything you see discriminatory, there even a legal hot-line you can speak to.
 
 Hope this helps ! What a pain !

BikerEd · Oct 19, 2011

Yes the Americans with Disability Act requires "reasonable" accommodations be made in the work place and in this case an organization for persons with disabilities. However, it is not reasonable for a wheel chair bound person to neither expect nor demand a rock wall climbing club to install a ramp on the wall for wheel chair accessibility. That being said here's a couple of thoughts that I'm sure you my not appreciate.

As a 39 yo CF patient DX at 5weeks I have a mom too, and so do all my other CF friends through out my life and one thing is for sure, Mom's can be a pain in the Butt. Having said that lets look at couple of things. When you pull your daughter out, do other mothers get to do so as well, or are other mothers allowed to bring food? For all you know it's becoming a "well if she can take breaks and bring food why must my daughter follow the rules?" I know the answer "she has CF". How long do you think it will be before the other kids have "something"? If this was established prior to the start of cheering it may be a different case. But to assume that everybody would understand is naïve at best.

Also, have you considered the possible long term alienation that may result in "special treatment" Perhaps she wont invited to the cool outing or great party, because "well, we didn't want her to get tired" or "we where afraid she wouldn't be able to spend the day" this did not happen to me, but it did happen to more than some of my friends. Remember kids can be the most compassionate people on the planet; they can also be extremely cruel, jealous, and vengeful.

Is it possible to load Brinly up on protein bars, prior to the start of the game and again at halftime? If she is unable to go roughly an hour to an hour and a half without snacks and or breaks, you may need to consider a different activity. Regrettably from just what I read you and the coach (x-friend) may not be able to work some special exceptions agreeable to all parties. So at this point you and Brinly need to decide, does she want to do this and put out the best effort to follow the "team's" rules or does she walk away?

Again, you probably don't like what I had to say, but it comes from "been there, done that, even got the T-shirt"

Best of Luck

Ed

BikerEd · Oct 19, 2011

Yes the Americans with Disability Act requires "reasonable" accommodations be made in the work place and in this case an organization for persons with disabilities. However, it is not reasonable for a wheel chair bound person to neither expect nor demand a rock wall climbing club to install a ramp on the wall for wheel chair accessibility. That being said here's a couple of thoughts that I'm sure you my not appreciate.

As a 39 yo CF patient DX at 5weeks I have a mom too, and so do all my other CF friends through out my life and one thing is for sure, Mom's can be a pain in the Butt. Having said that lets look at couple of things. When you pull your daughter out, do other mothers get to do so as well, or are other mothers allowed to bring food? For all you know it's becoming a "well if she can take breaks and bring food why must my daughter follow the rules?" I know the answer "she has CF". How long do you think it will be before the other kids have "something"? If this was established prior to the start of cheering it may be a different case. But to assume that everybody would understand is naïve at best.

Also, have you considered the possible long term alienation that may result in "special treatment" Perhaps she wont invited to the cool outing or great party, because "well, we didn't want her to get tired" or "we where afraid she wouldn't be able to spend the day" this did not happen to me, but it did happen to more than some of my friends. Remember kids can be the most compassionate people on the planet; they can also be extremely cruel, jealous, and vengeful.

Is it possible to load Brinly up on protein bars, prior to the start of the game and again at halftime? If she is unable to go roughly an hour to an hour and a half without snacks and or breaks, you may need to consider a different activity. Regrettably from just what I read you and the coach (x-friend) may not be able to work some special exceptions agreeable to all parties. So at this point you and Brinly need to decide, does she want to do this and put out the best effort to follow the "team's" rules or does she walk away?

Again, you probably don't like what I had to say, but it comes from "been there, done that, even got the T-shirt"

Best of Luck

Ed

BikerEd · Oct 19, 2011

Yes the Americans with Disability Act requires "reasonable" accommodations be made in the work place and in this case an organization for persons with disabilities. However, it is not reasonable for a wheel chair bound person to neither expect nor demand a rock wall climbing club to install a ramp on the wall for wheel chair accessibility. That being said here's a couple of thoughts that I'm sure you my not appreciate.
 
 As a 39 yo CF patient DX at 5weeks I have a mom too, and so do all my other CF friends through out my life and one thing is for sure, Mom's can be a pain in the Butt. Having said that lets look at couple of things. When you pull your daughter out, do other mothers get to do so as well, or are other mothers allowed to bring food? For all you know it's becoming a "well if she can take breaks and bring food why must my daughter follow the rules?" I know the answer "she has CF". How long do you think it will be before the other kids have "something"? If this was established prior to the start of cheering it may be a different case. But to assume that everybody would understand is naïve at best.
 
 Also, have you considered the possible long term alienation that may result in "special treatment" Perhaps she wont invited to the cool outing or great party, because "well, we didn't want her to get tired" or "we where afraid she wouldn't be able to spend the day" this did not happen to me, but it did happen to more than some of my friends. Remember kids can be the most compassionate people on the planet; they can also be extremely cruel, jealous, and vengeful.
 
 Is it possible to load Brinly up on protein bars, prior to the start of the game and again at halftime? If she is unable to go roughly an hour to an hour and a half without snacks and or breaks, you may need to consider a different activity. Regrettably from just what I read you and the coach (x-friend) may not be able to work some special exceptions agreeable to all parties. So at this point you and Brinly need to decide, does she want to do this and put out the best effort to follow the "team's" rules or does she walk away?
 
 Again, you probably don't like what I had to say, but it comes from "been there, done that, even got the T-shirt"
 
 Best of Luck
 
 Ed

mamaScarlett · Oct 19, 2011

First off, I'm a mom too so I can understand your outrage and where your heart is right now. For DD's sake, I would not go the legal/discriminatory route YET. I would get a letter asap from her doctor (probably written up by the Cf center's social worker) stating that due to the physical exertion of practice, DD may require additional breaks from time to time to get additional calories in. I'd include a personal letter too, stating that so and so realizes DD has CF. That doesn't just mean she will be only hospitalized from time to time, she requires intensive daily care, and preventative care, which includes her nutritional needs. Then I'd sternly add that you hope this will not be an issue again. I'd let it 'rest' for a week or two and see what happens. If it comes up again, then take the next step. Like most discrimination, this is ignorance. But, sometimes ignorant people just need to be taught. You would think that seeing DD in the hospital would have already shown her, but ignorant people just don't think, bottom line. They don't realize. Once she is educated, maybe it will help her. If not, though-then you have to protect your daughter.

mamaScarlett · Oct 19, 2011

First off, I'm a mom too so I can understand your outrage and where your heart is right now. I would get a letter asap from her doctor (probably written up by the Cf center's social worker) stating that due to the physical exertion of practice, DD may require additional breaks from time to time to get additional calories in. I'd include a personal letter too, stating that so and so realizes DD has CF. That doesn't just mean she will be only hospitalized from time to time, she requires intensive daily care, and preventative care, which includes her nutritional needs. Then I'd sternly add that you hope this will not be an issue again. I'd let it 'rest' for a week or two and see what happens.

mamaScarlett · Oct 19, 2011

First off, I'm a mom too so I can understand your outrage and where your heart is right now.I would get a letter asap from her doctor (probably written up by the Cf center's social worker) stating that due to the physical exertion of practice, DD may require additional breaks from time to time to get additional calories in. I'd include a personal letter too, stating that so and so realizes DD has CF. That doesn't just mean she will be only hospitalized from time to time, she requires intensive daily care, and preventative care, which includes her nutritional needs. Then I'd sternly add that you hope this will not be an issue again. I'd let it 'rest' for a week or two and see what happens.

Liza · Oct 19, 2011

I have to agree with quite a bit of what Ed has to say. Having raised two girls w/CF and been through it all... you need to have looked over the rules and requirements of any activity your daughter is going to participate in. IF it states cheering with no breaks other than halftime, then you agreed to that. You need to review the guidelines for participation and what was expected. If it doesn't then bring it to the attention of the organization that is running the program. Are the other girls looking tired from 1.5 hrs of straight cheering? Can they take a rest, have a drink, eat a cookie if they get tired? They should all be able to, CF or not, they're 7 for heavens sake! Where are you Texas?! LOL! (BTW, I'm from Texas!<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

Let me add, my youngest was a high school cheerleader and they did not have continueous cheering with no breaks for drinks, H***, not even the football players play without a rest! These are 7yr olds, I can not see continueous cheering for a straight hour and a half with only a 15 or 30 min. break then another hour and a half. Ridiculous. I'm speaking simply as a mom here not a CF mom, all those girls need to be able to take a rest if it truely is non stop cheering for an hour and half. Like Ed mentioned though, she should be able to make it through 1.5 hrs of activity without getting hungry. Eating before hand and snack or bar at half time with a drink and eating afterwards should suffice.

Like Cysticly Fit, we too did not mention our girls having CF to their friends, parents etc. But we did tell the teachers, Girl Scout leader and cheer coach. They were people that needed to know for when I was not around. I guess we were lucky, we never experienced any trouble with participation. We allowed our girls to tell their friends as they saw fit, they seemed to know who they trusted enough to tell.

I hope you can get this organization behind you by pulling for all the girls' well being. This way it doesn't look like "special treatment". Offer to bring bars and whole milk for all the girls to snack on.

Liza · Oct 19, 2011

I have to agree with quite a bit of what Ed has to say. Having raised two girls w/CF and been through it all... you need to have looked over the rules and requirements of any activity your daughter is going to participate in. IF it states cheering with no breaks other than halftime, then you agreed to that. You need to review the guidelines for participation and what was expected. If it doesn't then bring it to the attention of the organization that is running the program. Are the other girls looking tired from 1.5 hrs of straight cheering? Can they take a rest, have a drink, eat a cookie if they get tired? They should all be able to, CF or not, they're 7 for heavens sake! Where are you Texas?! LOL! (BTW, I'm from Texas!<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

Let me add, my youngest was a high school cheerleader and they did not have continueous cheering with no breaks for drinks, H***, not even the football players play without a rest! These are 7yr olds, I can not see continueous cheering for a straight hour and a half with only a 15 or 30 min. break then another hour and a half. Ridiculous. I'm speaking simply as a mom here not a CF mom, all those girls need to be able to take a rest if it truely is non stop cheering for an hour and half. Like Ed mentioned though, she should be able to make it through 1.5 hrs of activity without getting hungry. Eating before hand and snack or bar at half time with a drink and eating afterwards should suffice.

Like Cysticly Fit, we too did not mention our girls having CF to their friends, parents etc. But we did tell the teachers, Girl Scout leader and cheer coach. They were people that needed to know for when I was not around. I guess we were lucky, we never experienced any trouble with participation. We allowed our girls to tell their friends as they saw fit, they seemed to know who they trusted enough to tell.

I hope you can get this organization behind you by pulling for all the girls' well being. This way it doesn't look like "special treatment". Offer to bring bars and whole milk for all the girls to snack on.

Liza · Oct 19, 2011

I have to agree with quite a bit of what Ed has to say. Having raised two girls w/CF and been through it all... you need to have looked over the rules and requirements of any activity your daughter is going to participate in. IF it states cheering with no breaks other than halftime, then you agreed to that. You need to review the guidelines for participation and what was expected. If it doesn't then bring it to the attention of the organization that is running the program. Are the other girls looking tired from 1.5 hrs of straight cheering? Can they take a rest, have a drink, eat a cookie if they get tired? They should all be able to, CF or not, they're 7 for heavens sake! Where are you Texas?! LOL! (BTW, I'm from Texas!<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 
 Let me add, my youngest was a high school cheerleader and they did not have continueous cheering with no breaks for drinks, H***, not even the football players play without a rest! These are 7yr olds, I can not see continueous cheering for a straight hour and a half with only a 15 or 30 min. break then another hour and a half. Ridiculous. I'm speaking simply as a mom here not a CF mom, all those girls need to be able to take a rest if it truely is non stop cheering for an hour and half. Like Ed mentioned though, she should be able to make it through 1.5 hrs of activity without getting hungry. Eating before hand and snack or bar at half time with a drink and eating afterwards should suffice.
 
 Like Cysticly Fit, we too did not mention our girls having CF to their friends, parents etc. But we did tell the teachers, Girl Scout leader and cheer coach. They were people that needed to know for when I was not around. I guess we were lucky, we never experienced any trouble with participation. We allowed our girls to tell their friends as they saw fit, they seemed to know who they trusted enough to tell.
 
 I hope you can get this organization behind you by pulling for all the girls' well being. This way it doesn't look like "special treatment". Offer to bring bars and whole milk for all the girls to snack on.

Treble · Oct 19, 2011

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Originally posted by: BikerEd Also, have you considered the possible long term alienation that may result in "special treatment" Perhaps she wont invited to the cool outing or great party, because "well, we didn't want her to get tired" or "we where afraid she wouldn't be able to spend the day" this did not happen to me, but it did happen to more than some of my friends. Remember kids can be the most compassionate people on the planet; they can also be extremely cruel, jealous, and vengeful. </end quote></div>

<div> </div><div>Gonna have to agree with this. "special treatment" is what made almost everyone except a few friends turn on me in school. I was in multiple fights, and harassed relentlessly because of my issues and the special treatment I needed to help me get by in school while growing up.</div><div> </div><div>However, this is also what prompted me to start lifting early on, and learning to fight, which in the end kept my lungs healthy for a long time, lololol.</div><div> </div><div>So.. I guess it was both good and bad? lol. </div><div> </div><div>but yeah, you REALLY have to watch out for that *****. She may get it a little less so because she's a girl, but she could very well become the target of alotta abusive behavior/harassment.</div><div> </div><div> </div>

Treble · Oct 19, 2011

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Originally posted by: BikerEd Also, have you considered the possible long term alienation that may result in "special treatment" Perhaps she wont invited to the cool outing or great party, because "well, we didn't want her to get tired" or "we where afraid she wouldn't be able to spend the day" this did not happen to me, but it did happen to more than some of my friends. Remember kids can be the most compassionate people on the planet; they can also be extremely cruel, jealous, and vengeful. </end quote>

 Gonna have to agree with this. "special treatment" is what made almost everyone except a few friends turn on me in school. I was in multiple fights, and harassed relentlessly because of my issues and the special treatment I needed to help me get by in school while growing up. However, this is also what prompted me to start lifting early on, and learning to fight, which in the end kept my lungs healthy for a long time, lololol. So.. I guess it was both good and bad? lol. but yeah, you REALLY have to watch out for that *****. She may get it a little less so because she's a girl, but she could very well become the target of alotta abusive behavior/harassment.

Treble · Oct 19, 2011

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Originally posted by: BikerEd Also, have you considered the possible long term alienation that may result in "special treatment" Perhaps she wont invited to the cool outing or great party, because "well, we didn't want her to get tired" or "we where afraid she wouldn't be able to spend the day" this did not happen to me, but it did happen to more than some of my friends. Remember kids can be the most compassionate people on the planet; they can also be extremely cruel, jealous, and vengeful. </end quote>

 Gonna have to agree with this. "special treatment" is what made almost everyone except a few friends turn on me in school. I was in multiple fights, and harassed relentlessly because of my issues and the special treatment I needed to help me get by in school while growing up. However, this is also what prompted me to start lifting early on, and learning to fight, which in the end kept my lungs healthy for a long time, lololol. So.. I guess it was both good and bad? lol. but yeah, you REALLY have to watch out for that *****. She may get it a little less so because she's a girl, but she could very well become the target of alotta abusive behavior/harassment.

fallenarches · Oct 20, 2011

Not everyone is going to be able to participate in every activity, CF or not. There are a lot of things I would love to do but can't for one reason or another. If she physically can't go without eating for a hour and a half, perhaps this isn't the best option for her. Maybe there is another cheer team she could join that isn't so physically demanding. Three hours of cheering with only a short break at halftime is a LOT for a 7 year old. Even at the professional level, that is a LOT.

fallenarches · Oct 20, 2011

Not everyone is going to be able to participate in every activity, CF or not. There are a lot of things I would love to do but can't for one reason or another. If she physically can't go without eating for a hour and a half, perhaps this isn't the best option for her. Maybe there is another cheer team she could join that isn't so physically demanding. Three hours of cheering with only a short break at halftime is a LOT for a 7 year old. Even at the professional level, that is a LOT.

Sports Organization Discriminating against my daughter w/CF

New member

New member

New member

New member

New member

New member

BikerEd

Guest

BikerEd

Guest

BikerEd

Guest

Active member

Active member

Active member

New member

New member

New member

New member

New member

New member

New member

New member