stressing out about how to feed everyone

Hello everyone. I have been lurking for some time but finally decided to ask a question. My son was diagnosed 2 yrs ago at age 15. He does not take enzymes at this time but they still want him to have more calories,fat, and salt. My husband is on the total opposite side of the coin with low calories, no fat, salt, (mostly no anything it feels like). Does anyone else have problems feeding everyone in the family something different and still having a meal/meals together? I like to cook dinner for everyone but son is somewhat picky so just slopping on gravy or butter or whatever doesnt work for him. Thanks for listening and hopeful to get some new ideas.:confused:
 

Rosie55

New member
I feel your pain! My daughter is 20, diagnosed at 4 and dinner can be a challenge. Sometimes I will cook 2 versions of the same meal, a skinny version and a fat version. A little easier on me because most of the ingredients are the same and cook at the same pace so I don't have to keep track of too much. If I'm making chili I'll make a batch with high fat chop meat and a batch with low fat meat. I'll also be more heavy handed with the olive oil and/or butter in her version of whatever I'm making. Sometimes I will just make a huge batch of something that she likes and is very fatty or caloric and freeze it. Then I can just take it out and heat it up while I'm cooking dinner for the rest of us.
 
I would love to make him some dinners ahead of time to freeze but he would rather eat a tv dinner from the store I think. Somehow in his mind its left-overs even if he hasnt had it yet. Sometimes he drives me crazy.
 

Rebjane

Super Moderator
This is a good question. An idea is to increase snacks between meals(sounds weird I know) For example; there are MANY protein bars(some are higher calorie than others) some have the calories of a small meal. Eating those between meals is a way to increase calories. I let my daughter salt her own food(I can not eat her food after she salts it) it's way too much salt. We even have small salt packets(like in fast food places) I keep in the cabinet; she just grabs one and downs one if she feels like she needs to. I also send a few of those salt packets in her school lunch box.

Drinking calories is another way to get in extra healthy calories. You can make a high calorie shakes;there are many recipes online..

For dinner Ideas it is harder. I do not cook separate for my daughter. Fortunately she is a fantastic eater; loves all kinds of fish Which is great for CF'ers. She loves steak, chicken.

Nutella is another high fat food...Dip in salty pretzels, one of my daughter's favorite snacks. HTH
 

Rebjane

Super Moderator
Does your son see a dietician? They usually have free samples of high calorie shakes made for weight gain as well.
 
He has to have fatty snack inbetween meals as well because of the anti-fungal he is on. I guess I should just quit stressing about it and accept if for what it is and become a short order cook lmao. I have considered making a menu of sorts of things I could make by what I have on hand and let them choose. I really like being creative with my meals but I think I might have to make things alot simpler. I considered doing that after our last hospital visit because it was easy for him to glance at the menu and pick something that sounded good. Hubby might have to just eat salad every night.. ;)
 

Melissa75

Administrator
Theresa,
I think your game plan should be to serve the same meal to everyone, but ask your husband to cover most of his plate with the vegetable dish, and ask your son to make liberal use the salt shaker and eat more of the protein/fat dish.

Studies are coming out saying that low fat is not a protector against heart disease, and is actually counterproductive to weight loss. So, a small portion of a regular fat entree (cheesy omelet, salmon, pasta with meatballs) will allow dad to reach and maintain for longer a feeling of being full if his goal is weight loss. And not harm IMO (I am NOT a doctor) his cholesterol/heart goals. Small portions though! 80% of the plate occupied by the broccoli stir fried in olive oil or the salad etc.
Here are some of the studies I'm talking about:
http://mobile.nytimes.com/blogs/well/2014/03/17/study-questions-fat-and-heart-disease-link/

http://mobile.nytimes.com/2013/02/2...n-diet-can-cut-heart-disease-study-finds.html

http://www.npr.org/blogs/thesalt/20...-full-fat-paradox-whole-milk-may-keep-us-lean
 

jshet

New member
My son has cf, autism, celiac disease and numerous food allergies. I have been cooking 2 separate dinners for 10 years. You do get used to it. Most times dinners are completely different because my son has so many limitations and the autism makes him refuse a lot of foods he can have because of textures.
i do sometimes cook him up some meals on a Sunday and freeze them. But I know that isn't always an option. For things my son can eat like chicken, I will leave the skin on his and remove the skin from everyone else's, then season the way they like. I have to be concerned with cross contamination for him, so I use to separate pans. Mashed potatoes for your son would be great. You can load them with butter and salt while masking baked potatoes for everyone else. Veggies are easy everyone can have them, just pull some out for your son and add whatever he wants to add calories, while leaving the rest for everyone else to enjoy. This is what a shared meal looks like at my house. This is as close as we can get to everyone eating the same thing, and it really isn't anymore work than cooking one meal.

As you continue to need to cook this way, you will find ways to tweak your menu so everyone can enjoy and have what is best needed by their health needs. I would think because your son des not need to avoid any particular foods due to allergies, you could adjust just about any meal to keep everyone happy and healthy.

Something else I do is when my son really enjoys something, I make extra for him for the next evening. Then I can make something for the rest of us that I can not tweak for him, like lasagna. Everyone has a dinner they will enjoy, and I only cooked one meal.

I know it is very overwhelming at first and seems like it will be time consuming. But with a little pre planning, it's not so bad. It will become your new normal and will just become automatic for you. Good luck.
 
Thank you! I think I feel a little better about things. I guess I feel like I am not being a good Mom if I let him eat tv dinners all the time when I know I can cook for him. Im the one with the problem. Awesome to have people to share things with here. We are still sorta new to the understanding of the disease and sometimes feels like starting over with a brand new baby and learning all the things you thought you knew were wrong. Thanks again folks for the great responses. :D
 

Rosie55

New member
You are not the one with the problem. It is a fine balance between doing what's right for them and managing it all. It is very overwhelming at first, but slowly you learn to live with it. It's also hard when you are allowing one child to eat more snack/junk food and you have to tell the others they can't. It isn't that bad to make the same meal in two different forms, you get used to it. And there are nights where you are just tired or things are crazy and you can let him have his TV dinner, the salt is good for him anyway! As for freezing ahead, perhaps you just don't tell him and then don't serve it again the next night. Wait a few days and let him think you just made it. :)
 

Ratatosk

Administrator
Staff member
DS has always been a bit of a picky eater, so it was just easier to fix him something separate. He's getting better and now eats more meat. Since he likes cheese, I always slice up some aged cheddar to go with his food. When we have pasta I dose his noodles with butter or olive oil, parm cheese and salt while we have regular pasta sauce. He's also always had carnation instant breakfast made with whole milk and cream with his meals while we drink skim. He's also a pretty good snacker --- peanuts, Cheetos, cheese & crackers, pretzels and popcorn. I doctor popcorn with butter, olive oil or bacon grease (bleah) and salt. At school he takes a zone perfect bar and cheese and crackers for his snack.
 

Rebjane

Super Moderator
Off topic. But I'm pretty sure our grocery store clerks think I have some weird eating disorder. I am in the store every couple days buying Whole milk, meal replacement protein bars, pretzels, and of course diet coke and low sugar popsicles(so we adults can have a sweets, too) Oh and the Prune Juice I buy every week that my CF daughter drinks:)
 

Epona

New member
Props to Melissa75 for being on top of the latest science behind the new understanding of fats. Good fats (saturated fats from healthy, humanely-raised, grassfed animals; and plants like coconut oil) are great for the body and very necessary, and when consumed in moderation alongside an active lifestyle are very healthy. Refined vegetable oils are very inflammatory and very dangerous. Avoid them completely. This is what the latest science is saying. Fat phobia will be a thing of the past very soon, but doctors are typically 17 years behind the science, so you won't find much help from your conventional dietitian. In terms of risk for heart disease, it's all about the carbs. Diets high in carbs, especially refined carbs like sugar and white flour are the cause of the majority of heart disease in this country. This new understanding of the benefits of good fats (saturated) and harm of carbs (especially refined) is something that applies to both your son and your husband. Carbs cause inflammation and blood sugar disregulation, which leads to both heart disease and CF lung inflammation and increased infections. Meals higher in fat, protein and vegetables, and lower in carbs will benefit everyone. Salt is only to be avoided if there is hypertension. Otherwise healthy salt (sea salt or himalayan salt, NOT table salt) is good for all of us, but CFers obviously need more.

There is so much info out there on the new understanding of fats, carbs, and heart disease, but a great resource is www.chriskresser.com. I also discuss fats (and carbs in a different section) in detail at: http://cfnaturalhealth.weebly.com/fats.html
 
We do the dinner as a main meal and everyone can serve their own portions, as long as a bit of each food is on their plates..... my husband is a big meat eater, teen daughter is a carbo queen & loves veggies, son (with cf) adds peanut butter to whatever the bread portion is and has extra of that and liberally salts everything. We focus on getting most of the calories on the other meals & snacks during the day. My son has about 6 or 7 little meals daily, so the dinner isn't an issue if he doesn't love what we're having or if it doesn't have massive calories. I'd try hard NOT to become a short order cook, that will stress you out, cost more $$ on groceries and just be a pain for a meal that should be a good sit-down, relaxing part of the day. Experiment and try to put at least one food out there that each person will like, so they know they can load up on it for that one meal. The calories will come throughout the day, sometimes my son has a snack or meal with almost no high calories or fat, and it's ok. The rest of the day can be making up for what he needs. I have enough other things to worry about, this is one item I was able to move off my stress list. Hope it works for you too.
 

sroeseler

New member
U can crockpot one meal, set it up in morning then it's ready at night. When other meal is cooked. There are lots of crockpot recipes and you can rotate who eats the crockpot dinner
 
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