The Italian who went to Malta

[Brad]

The Italian who went to Malta (My Fave joke!)
(must be read with an Italian accent, preferably out loud)

One day ima gonna Malta to bigga hotel.

Ina Morning I go down to eat breakfast. I tella waitress I wanna two pissis toast. She brings me only one piss. I tella her I want two piss. She say go to the toilet.I say you no understand . I wanna to piss onna my plate. She say you better not piss onna plate, you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and she call me sonna ma bitch.

Later I go to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She tell me everyone wanna fock. I tell her you no understand. I wanna fock on the table. She say you better not fock on the table, you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and she call me sonna ma bitch.

So I go back to my room inna hotel and there is no shits onna my bed. Call the manager and tella him I wanna *****. He tell me to go to toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna ***** on my bed. He say you better not ***** onna bed, you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the man and he call me sonna ma bitch.

I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say: "Peace on you".

I say piss on you too, you sonna ma bitch, I gonna back to Italy

 

[amber682]

This made me think of the owner of a restaurant I worked at a couple years ago. The owner was Greek, and had a heavy greek accent. It was so funny to watch new employees try to figure out what he was saying, some never could. And when he got really mad he'd yell at you in half-greek and you never knew what the heck he was saying about you. I know he was greek and this is an italian, but it made me laugh.