I haven't seen the sun for a year now. At 5:58 am, May the 5th, 2005, my world was rocked forever. I thought I saw the the sun rise that day, but I was mistaken. You know how a star explodes when it dies? That's what I was seeing, was your dying light, the light of a fading star. And then, I plunged into the darkness of the widow's night.
This year has been one I wish never to return to. Of firsts, which led me to remember the lasts. Enough tears for me to start my own organic saline company. I lost myself somewhere along the way, when I look in the mirror, I see someone totally different. A whisper of smoke, from the flame of our love.
I sit in your old clothes tonight, wondering how I have survived a year without your laughter rinign in the echoes of the home we shared. I didn't realize you were what made our little home a castle, until you slipped away from me. A year without your soft kisses at night, and your big smile in the morning. A year without your scent. Oh, your scent. I remember how I didn't change the sheets for 5 months, because I thought they still smelled like you. I remember how I wept when I smelled your pillow and realized your scent had faded.
The things that have left me....the quiet moments we spent together, kissing and cuddling, my private love of giving you CPT, because it was time we spent together. I know we were soulmates, and the hole in my heart is in the shape of yours, and no one else's will fit. Ry, my love for you will last forever, and those who don't believe me, don't know me. I know now, how all those great women felt when they declared " I will never love again"
This year of night has been interminable. Will I live through seeing that clock turn to 5:58? There are no plans, only dreams, with CF....and you are in mine. I lvoe you, Ry.
If you haven't seen it, here's <a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.onetruemedia.com/otm_site/view_shared?p=36413628c3af5588b3777">Ry's video</a>
<b>Edited to add:</b> People have asked how they can help. Here you go. Live for Ry today. Kiss someone you love, make a joke, watch a Quentin Tarantino movie, eat a pizza by yourself, cook a meal, pound back a mountain dew, sing a song, play with your kid, ride your bike, smile. Do all the things he loved, and carry him with you today. That's how you can help.
This year has been one I wish never to return to. Of firsts, which led me to remember the lasts. Enough tears for me to start my own organic saline company. I lost myself somewhere along the way, when I look in the mirror, I see someone totally different. A whisper of smoke, from the flame of our love.
I sit in your old clothes tonight, wondering how I have survived a year without your laughter rinign in the echoes of the home we shared. I didn't realize you were what made our little home a castle, until you slipped away from me. A year without your soft kisses at night, and your big smile in the morning. A year without your scent. Oh, your scent. I remember how I didn't change the sheets for 5 months, because I thought they still smelled like you. I remember how I wept when I smelled your pillow and realized your scent had faded.
The things that have left me....the quiet moments we spent together, kissing and cuddling, my private love of giving you CPT, because it was time we spent together. I know we were soulmates, and the hole in my heart is in the shape of yours, and no one else's will fit. Ry, my love for you will last forever, and those who don't believe me, don't know me. I know now, how all those great women felt when they declared " I will never love again"
This year of night has been interminable. Will I live through seeing that clock turn to 5:58? There are no plans, only dreams, with CF....and you are in mine. I lvoe you, Ry.
If you haven't seen it, here's <a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.onetruemedia.com/otm_site/view_shared?p=36413628c3af5588b3777">Ry's video</a>
<b>Edited to add:</b> People have asked how they can help. Here you go. Live for Ry today. Kiss someone you love, make a joke, watch a Quentin Tarantino movie, eat a pizza by yourself, cook a meal, pound back a mountain dew, sing a song, play with your kid, ride your bike, smile. Do all the things he loved, and carry him with you today. That's how you can help.