Hey guys, here is my problem, ( with the exception of siblings), my daughter is starting 1st grade in September. I just found out that a little girl who is very sick, is starting/wanting to start in my daughters school. They both have CF, my daughter very healthy, and the other little girl only a yr. younger is very ill and only has ONe kidney. I don't want her to start in my daughter's school!!!!! The chance of contamination or infecting my daughter is so great that I really don't want to chance it, and visa versa.Their are plenty of schools around and the benefits outweight the serious and potentially life threatening outcome of cross contamination. I just don't feel comfortable with leaving it up to the staff/volunteers/and supply teachers to guarantee my daughters safety. Have any of you been in a situation such as mine?? And what do you all think of it??? Any input is welcomed and other helpful info too. thanks
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
two CFer's in the same school
- Thread starter anonymous
- Start date
If it bothers you that much, can your daughter go to a different school? I really don't see how they can descriminate to the other girl and ask her to go to another school. I think they would have a law suit on their hands. Since you are the one that is stressed about the situation, then you would probably have to send your daughter elsewhere.
I sympathize with you, but really don't know what else to tell you. Obviously we want to keep ourselves as healthy as we can. Let us know what happens and good luck.
Elle
I sympathize with you, but really don't know what else to tell you. Obviously we want to keep ourselves as healthy as we can. Let us know what happens and good luck.
Elle
Thanks for replying, although that was my first reaction, to move her to another school, her physician did say it would be more detrimental to her health. I can't understand why the other family wouldn't second guess their choice seeing has it is potentially the same danger of contamination with their child as with mine. Glad you mentioned law suit, cause I'm thinking isn't it a law suit if my child gets a serious infection under the supervision of staff? How can they guarantee both of us, that neither one will be in danger? I have heard recently of a case in ONtario that the two students were in the same class and the CF team moved in and took charge. If they are that concern, how can they allow it at all. That is exactly why they dont' have CF camps or get togethers and so on..... any way any more input please feel free, good or bad. thanks, ps I really need to talk this out!
Is this other girl going to be in your daughters class? Then I could see a high level of concern and frustration. Is she in your daughter's grade? I know they may in the same lunch room and playground together, but if you don't trust the faculty, staff, teachers and communication between your daughter and the other girl's family, then it is your issue. Let's face it, she has every right to an education as does your child and mine. If you don't think anyone is trustworthy enough to protect your daughter, would you consider home schooling?
There is obviously a factor of concern and you will just need to have a good meeting with the faculty and other parents if possible and see at what level they may be interacting. There is no guarantee that she won't get sick, but is there a guarantee for kids not getting chicken pox, lice, strep throat and other illnesses? Yes CF is more serious than all of that, but that's where it's up to you to make the judgement call.
Good Luck...it's a tough one!
There is obviously a factor of concern and you will just need to have a good meeting with the faculty and other parents if possible and see at what level they may be interacting. There is no guarantee that she won't get sick, but is there a guarantee for kids not getting chicken pox, lice, strep throat and other illnesses? Yes CF is more serious than all of that, but that's where it's up to you to make the judgement call.
Good Luck...it's a tough one!
LindseyRose
Member
Why would it be detrimental to your child's health to move her to a different school? Also, I think it is very ignorant of you to think that this other family doesn't care about their childs health. You don't know what other factors are influencing their decision to send her to this school. Maybe it is closer to her house, or maybe she has other siblings that go to the same school. Also, if they are in a different grade, chances are they won't be in the same classroom. Your daughter is starting first grade, she is going to be in school a lot of years. It seems selfish to think that you don't want any other sick child going to your child's school. Have you thought about homeschooling her? I agree with the first responder that if you are the one concerned, you should consider other options for your daughter, not the other family's daughter.
I had the same situation with my daughter. Kait was in the 1st grade and at first i thought that maybe this would help both girls realize that they were not alone with this disease and maybe make it easier for both of them to take their enzymes at lunch and they would have each other to talk to about their disease. Well after a few weeks it hit me! Wow they could really get each other sick, they sat right beside each other and played together at recess!!!! I did go in and talk to the teacher and explained my concern for both girls, she did change the seating arrangements and always communicated with me if any of the other children in the class was sick. I always told the teacher what bacteris Kait cultered and to let her know to let the other little girls mother know as well, just to be on the safe side. They are no longer in the same class but they do see each other at recess and have really grown to like one another. I do not hesitate to keep my daughter home from school when she is sick and even when there are alot of kids out with the flu or other illnesses that i know are not good for my daughter. I would really stress to my daughter how important it is for her to watch and stay away from others when they are sick and coughing and to wash her hands and use antibacterial gel. I know how you feel but i do not know that i would move my child to another school, I would speak with the other childs parents and maybe they too have the same concern and you guys can keep each other updated and even be support for one another. I would let them know what bacteria if any your child cultures and hopefully they will do the same for you. Unfortunatly i just found out tonight that the other child's PFTs are really low 50% while my daughters is still and hopefully forever at 100%. The girls are now in the 3rd grade and they never did get each other sick!!!
I know what a hard time this is for you so i will keep you in my prayers and thoughts and I hope that everything works out for the best.
Kaitsmom<img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">
I know what a hard time this is for you so i will keep you in my prayers and thoughts and I hope that everything works out for the best.
Kaitsmom<img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">
I also feel that it would not be morally right to sue a family or school because your daughter has CF and got a serious infection.
1) Alot of CFers will get serious infection at some point in their lifetime.
2) Good luck trying to prove your child got sick from someone else, we do have a privacy law, atleast in my state
1) Alot of CFers will get serious infection at some point in their lifetime.
2) Good luck trying to prove your child got sick from someone else, we do have a privacy law, atleast in my state
thefrogprincess
New member
If your daughter gets sick (which she will because kids get sick, CF or not) how are you going to prove it was caused by the other child? I don't think suing would get you far. I'd be a millionare if I got to sue everyone who ever got me sick. I would ask that the two kids not be in the same class room but other than that there isn't much you can do. And how would sending your daughter to another school be more detrimental to her health? You also didn't say whether this other girl has CF or something else. If its something else I think your overreacting. We CFers tend to get bugs that aren't real common outside the CF world.
my son will be starting kindergarten in the fall, but I honestly don't know if there are other CF kids also. I understand your fears and have spent nights worrying about cross contamination. I definitly think you should keep open communication with the other parents about the condition of both of your girls. You can go to different schools, keep tabs on what cultures they have, etc... It is something to be concerned about but good communication will be beneficial to both of your daughters.
Both of my kids have cf. My son is twenty-months has cultured PA and e-coli. My daughter is three-years old and has only cultured staff. My children have only once passed one cold on to one another. All of the other times only one has come down with a virus and did not pass it on to their sibling. My kids are constantly rolling on the ground playing with one another. Just because kids are around one another it does not mean that they will pass on their bacteria and viruses.
I think if your daughter and the other child were in separate classrooms there really is little risk. I also agree with most of the people who already posted, it is up to you to remove your daughter from the situation if it makes you uncomfortable. Your options seem to be to homeschool, move, private school or ask the district to transfer your daughter. Also, you would have zero grounds for suing if your daughter did get sick. It is not up to the district to protect kids from viruses/bacteria. Their job is to teach children. You can't sue anyone anywhere for coming down with viruses/bacteria. It is just what happens to people.
Sharon, mom of Sophia and Jack
I think if your daughter and the other child were in separate classrooms there really is little risk. I also agree with most of the people who already posted, it is up to you to remove your daughter from the situation if it makes you uncomfortable. Your options seem to be to homeschool, move, private school or ask the district to transfer your daughter. Also, you would have zero grounds for suing if your daughter did get sick. It is not up to the district to protect kids from viruses/bacteria. Their job is to teach children. You can't sue anyone anywhere for coming down with viruses/bacteria. It is just what happens to people.
Sharon, mom of Sophia and Jack
I agree with the previous post. My sister & I grew up in the same house & I continued to always have a much milder case of CF than she did, even though we lived in the same house, which would be much more cross-infection prone than a school situation. I did get staph from her when I was in 2-3 grade, but got rid of it w/ shots of some type. I got the staph from her from sleeping in the same mist tent (in the 70's) & breathing the same, recycled air.
I would ask your Dr what the chances of cross infection are. Probably minimal, but always that chance, I guess and for that I understand your concern.
As far as pseudomonas goes, that can be picked up almost anywhere. I bet 80+ percent of us CFers have cultured pseudomonas--it's hard to stay away from.
Keep us posted
I would ask your Dr what the chances of cross infection are. Probably minimal, but always that chance, I guess and for that I understand your concern.
As far as pseudomonas goes, that can be picked up almost anywhere. I bet 80+ percent of us CFers have cultured pseudomonas--it's hard to stay away from.
Keep us posted
Is this a private school or public? Either way you're out of luck as far as who they allow to attend but if it's private then you do have the choice to go elsewhere. It's my understanding from my school district and from my CF center that you do have the right to ask the school district maintain a certain "distance" between the two children. i.e. definitely not be in the same class, share the same lunch hour, gym time, art time, library time, etc.
Purplelungs
New member
In 7th grade we moved and of course I had to go to a different school. There happened to be another CFer there in the same grade. I was the sicker one, had ivs about 3 or 4 times that year...Because she was so much healthier, did athletics and such some of my teachers thought I was "faking" it....I was the new kid, most of the teachers knew this other girl and she was always healthy and doing things, so of course they would think I was a faker...yes even if I showed up with ivs in my hands two teachers in particular didnt care. I had about 2 or 3 classes with her. We had different classes and teachers for every subject at this school. I never sat near her, just the way seating arangements where by last name. We never really hung out with each other either. Sure we talked to each other but not that much. It wasnt cus we didnt like each other, we just didnt think we had much in common other than cf (plus i was super shy). All the time I would be sick, go to school with ivs (this was before we knew of cross contamination)....she never got sick. She was sick one time with a cold and she didnt get it from me and I didnt get it from her.
Now since your child is younger they may want to play with each other more. But I say just request they be in different class rooms, they have to do that in this case. If they are outside for recess or PE I wouldnt worry either because the fresh air keeps moving, nothing stays around. Make your daughter get in the habbit of carrying antibacteria gel around and use it after recess, pe, before and after restroom breaks and lunch/snacks. Also get her in the habbit of sharing drinks is bad for her health because she can pick up anything (from anyone). Both CF children will be fine as long as they arent kissing each other, coughing on each other, sharing drinks...What I would do is try to contact this other family as well. Just share your concerns and ask what the other child has cultured and share what your daughter has cultured. That way if the other girl does culture somethign really bad you wil be aware and have reason to worry then. Just because she is really sick now, has one kidney doesnt mean she cultures something really serious that your daughter will get. It just means that this other girl has a more severe case of cf, and you know you cant pass that along. As a cfer I say try not to worry about it unless you know this other child has cultured something serious and is easy to pass along.... Also talk to the CF team about your concerns.
Now since your child is younger they may want to play with each other more. But I say just request they be in different class rooms, they have to do that in this case. If they are outside for recess or PE I wouldnt worry either because the fresh air keeps moving, nothing stays around. Make your daughter get in the habbit of carrying antibacteria gel around and use it after recess, pe, before and after restroom breaks and lunch/snacks. Also get her in the habbit of sharing drinks is bad for her health because she can pick up anything (from anyone). Both CF children will be fine as long as they arent kissing each other, coughing on each other, sharing drinks...What I would do is try to contact this other family as well. Just share your concerns and ask what the other child has cultured and share what your daughter has cultured. That way if the other girl does culture somethign really bad you wil be aware and have reason to worry then. Just because she is really sick now, has one kidney doesnt mean she cultures something really serious that your daughter will get. It just means that this other girl has a more severe case of cf, and you know you cant pass that along. As a cfer I say try not to worry about it unless you know this other child has cultured something serious and is easy to pass along.... Also talk to the CF team about your concerns.
Hey guys, thanks for the comments. I think we need to clerify a few things in order for me to receive informed criticism!!! My daughter has attended this particular school for two yrs. now, and her physician thinks (because CF is an emotional and physical disease), the move would emotionally tromatize her. (removing her from her friends and starting up somewhere else). For the record, that was my first thought was to pull her, he was the one who said NO. Now, as far as suing anyone, I didn't meen it litterally in that sense, however, I did mean to say, that it is a big weight on the shoulders of faculty to guaranty me that the two girls won't have contact. Being a small school and such, it would be hard for them to control it. On that note, I have gotten a doctors letter stating that they should not cohort to gether nor be in the same place at the same time for any lenghth of time. I trust my doctor with her life!!
Now, and I don't want to come accross as rude, so please forgive be, but YOU are darn tooting that I am selfish!!!!! This is my daughter, whom I 've work very hard for the past five yrs. to keep healthy. ON the other hand the other family came to this school cause they were told the school was already trained in CF. so this is the reason they picked it. Now, with all do respect, the mom wasn't there, it was her boyfriend and when I asked him what is daughter took as far as enzyme, he couldn't tell me nor did he know what, if any types of medicin she was on. This is my opinion, but that is pretty neglectful on their part, to not inform themselves first on wether their were other CF'ers that could potentially bring harm to their daughter, and yes I know their are colds and flus and ect.........preventing these would be only done by putting my daughter in a big bubble, however, KNOWING that CF, b-cepacia can potentially kill her and inviting another to share with her who has this infection, would be like throwing both of them in fire and saying " now don't get burned"!!!!!!And then to send the uneducated boyfriend to a meeting smelling like smoke and dope, was a second clue that their not in it to protect and do the right thing for her daughter at all costs. I would have been there before the boyfriend even if I was the president, I would have called in sick to be there for her. That's me, and maybe her circomstance are different then mine, well let's see, I am a single parent with a five yr old CFer, and a four yr old son. I work part time only so I can be part of my daughters care everyday, and I live very poor. My children get everything they need and I get nothing. I'm happy with that, but I'll fight tooth and nail before I let some inconsiderate mom, professing she cares and put my daughter in harms way. I will quit my part time job and be at the shcool for 8hrs watching if I have to, to give the longuest and best quality of life for my little girl. I really welcome any comments rude or otherwise, so this is nothing personal just a mom who is obsessed with saving her daughter.
take care
Now, and I don't want to come accross as rude, so please forgive be, but YOU are darn tooting that I am selfish!!!!! This is my daughter, whom I 've work very hard for the past five yrs. to keep healthy. ON the other hand the other family came to this school cause they were told the school was already trained in CF. so this is the reason they picked it. Now, with all do respect, the mom wasn't there, it was her boyfriend and when I asked him what is daughter took as far as enzyme, he couldn't tell me nor did he know what, if any types of medicin she was on. This is my opinion, but that is pretty neglectful on their part, to not inform themselves first on wether their were other CF'ers that could potentially bring harm to their daughter, and yes I know their are colds and flus and ect.........preventing these would be only done by putting my daughter in a big bubble, however, KNOWING that CF, b-cepacia can potentially kill her and inviting another to share with her who has this infection, would be like throwing both of them in fire and saying " now don't get burned"!!!!!!And then to send the uneducated boyfriend to a meeting smelling like smoke and dope, was a second clue that their not in it to protect and do the right thing for her daughter at all costs. I would have been there before the boyfriend even if I was the president, I would have called in sick to be there for her. That's me, and maybe her circomstance are different then mine, well let's see, I am a single parent with a five yr old CFer, and a four yr old son. I work part time only so I can be part of my daughters care everyday, and I live very poor. My children get everything they need and I get nothing. I'm happy with that, but I'll fight tooth and nail before I let some inconsiderate mom, professing she cares and put my daughter in harms way. I will quit my part time job and be at the shcool for 8hrs watching if I have to, to give the longuest and best quality of life for my little girl. I really welcome any comments rude or otherwise, so this is nothing personal just a mom who is obsessed with saving her daughter.
take care
Purplelungs
New member
Yes I know all moms will fight tooth and nail for their child. Thank you for clearing some things up though. They do sound a bit neglectfull....I mean its the boyfriend you met? not even the mom? Plus he smelled like smoke...now thats a selfish mom dating a smoker and not even attending a important school meeting about HER daughter. Thats very odd to me. So this other child does have b cepcia?....yes that is one of the bacterias i am and would be scared to get. I was moved around to different schools. I changed schools for first grade, then 7th, and then again in 8th. It was much harder the older I was. I really dont see why your doctor said not to move her, although the school knowing things is great. Younger kids have an easier time making new friends and fitting in. Just a thought to put out there. Its great you trust your doctor that much but Im still confused as to why he is so against changing schools. Mainly because life changes all the time and even if she stays their till high school graduation she will be changing friends, environments etc sooner or later. But like I said the school knowing things about CF is a huge plus, thats wonderful. I hope the school follows the doctors letter.
CFHockeyMom
New member
Couple of comments here...
You can't control what the other family does.
You can't control what the school does.
You can however control what you do. If you feel that this other girl poses a risk to your daughter then your Dr. needs to take that into consideration before he/she blanketly states that changing schools could harm her. Reality is that kids do change schools and an there is a period of adjustment but the younger the kids are, the easier it is to make that adjustment. My CFer changed schools for 2nd grade after 3 years at one school. At the same time my older non-CFer changed after 5 years at the same school. Both made the transition just fine and were not traumatized.
I understand your frustration but you really do have a choice.
You can't control what the other family does.
You can't control what the school does.
You can however control what you do. If you feel that this other girl poses a risk to your daughter then your Dr. needs to take that into consideration before he/she blanketly states that changing schools could harm her. Reality is that kids do change schools and an there is a period of adjustment but the younger the kids are, the easier it is to make that adjustment. My CFer changed schools for 2nd grade after 3 years at one school. At the same time my older non-CFer changed after 5 years at the same school. Both made the transition just fine and were not traumatized.
I understand your frustration but you really do have a choice.
I don't know exactly what I'd do in your shoes, but my inclination would be that I would make the decision for my daughter, not let the doctor. You know your daughter better than anyone else anyway, what's your take?
When you take her to play groups, ballet classes, etc where there are kids she doesn't know, does she adjust well to that? Also, is she terribly shy? These may be some of many indicators as to how she'd adjust to a new environment.
If the other child had b cepacia, I definately would take her to another school or even home school. This could be tricky, though (home schooling) being a single parent & the bread winner<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-confused.gif" border="0">
I wish I had the "magic" answer or advise for you, sorry.
If you don't mind, keep us posted on what transpires.
Elle
When you take her to play groups, ballet classes, etc where there are kids she doesn't know, does she adjust well to that? Also, is she terribly shy? These may be some of many indicators as to how she'd adjust to a new environment.
If the other child had b cepacia, I definately would take her to another school or even home school. This could be tricky, though (home schooling) being a single parent & the bread winner<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-confused.gif" border="0">
I wish I had the "magic" answer or advise for you, sorry.
If you don't mind, keep us posted on what transpires.
Elle
Purplelungs
New member
One thing I thought of. There are home school groups. You could look around your town and have her go to home school with another family near by while you go to work. Usually the groups are no bigger than maybe 10 depending on the town and what they are doing...usually a big group is usually with field trips or special projects. But many homeschool parents get together and have groups...Some even divide days....like 2 days a week one family takes over for say history and science and the other is math depending on who is better at teaching what subject. I also know that some allow kids in the group with out that parent teaching something as long as they are compensated...kinda like private school but I dont think its as expensive, just paying for the supplies/books. Thats something to look into.