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what can help me conceive?
- Thread starter mrivano
- Start date
You should make and appointment with your GYN. There are tests that they can do to tell you if you are infertile or not. They now do pre-pregnancy appointments where they can do labs, and tests, and help you go from there as to what you need to do. No sense in getting worried before you know the facts about yourself. They can also do genetic testing to see the likelyhood of passing it on.
my names heather. im a 19 y/o with cf. i had a son when i was very young. i was only 16. it only took me 1 month to concieve. but it varied with every person. my son also has cf. when u decide to have a baby, you should have your partner tested for the cf gene, just to know what your odds are of having a child with cf. but good luck with everything and if you have any other questions, please e-mail me at stevesxbabyxgurl@yahoo.com...take care heather 19 with cf
HollyCatheryn
New member
[No message]
HollyCatheryn
New member
[No message]
<blockquote>Quote<br><hr>This young woman is seems to be taking responsibility for her pregnancy, health, and future child. Is this not more important than how old she is when she gives birth?<hr></blockquote>she isnt pregnant yet so there is no pregnancy and child to be responsible for. id like to know yocelyns motives behind wanting to get pregnant 'very young'. i would not be giving any advice to her until she clears a few things up.
am really hoping that somewhere in all this advice from women with CF who have conceived there is going to be a mention of "if your health is quite poor, think of how fair this will be on the child....."because so far no one has even mentioned the ethical issues regarding bringing a child into the world if your health is very poor. i am not saying this applies to all women with cf!! of course it doesnt! if you are healthy and have good lung func/few IVs etc, why shouldnt you want to start a family?!but it saddens me that the most concentrated area in these topics is "I can cope with having a child" not "can i justify bringing a child into the world". its just to me the latter seems more important.
i agree. people are giving advice on what to do but this person hasnt clarified how old they are, what their health is like, if they are in a steady relationship, if they have a decent income, why they want a baby, why they dont know the odds of getting pregnant yet. it all seems strange. im very reluctant to say anything on this until i get more information. having babies isnt a right, its a responsibility.
NoDayButToday
New member
to the anonymous person:Given your philosophy, apparentely no one should be able to bring a child into this world. A woman may be in perfect health when her baby is born, develop advanced cancer and die before the child is 5. Or, as cliched as this is, you could get hit by a bus. Should she have not had a child? What about people who stay alive for their children to grow up, but are horribly abusive towards them. There's no mental/ emotional parameters you seem to insist upon in order to have a child. Who are you to tell someone not to have a child? And also, this young woman did not ask to be preached to. I believe she asked about the chances of getting pregnant, not the ethics.
ok, i am the annonymous person......colin, go back and read my post and tell me exactly where i said "you should not have a child". or infact where i said "so and so should not have a child".i did NOT at any point say someone shouldnt have a child. and i would never be as presumptuous as to put words into your mouth, so please dont put words into mine. there is a big difference between:"think about how fair it would be bringing a child into the world IF your health is ALREADY very poor"and what you said which was "Given your philosophy, apparentely no one should be able to bring a child into this world"you have every right to your own opinion. do not make up my opinions for me. do not reword what i have written, and do not make rediculous comments like the one you made above, which to be honest completely undermine your own argument as it makes you seem hotheaded and slightly immature. i believe that people should consider the fairness to the child. i dont think that i was harsh in saying that.just incase you still dont understand what i am trying to say i will give you an example. mrs X has an FEV1 of 35%. she is desperate to have a child. she is told by her doctors that it will be very dangerous and her health could drop irreversably. her response is "i dont care i want to risk it"fair enough if she wants to risk her life, but say she DOES decline, what about the child? did that child ask to be brought into the world? there is a chance that child will now grow up without a mother. ALL I AM SAYING is that one should take this into CONCIDERATION. i am not condemning anyone, i am just saying it is yet another factor to think about.
me again.....just to clarify one more time, seeing as you didnt seem to read it the first time..........i am not saying "dont have a child just incase you get ill"i am saying THINK twice if you are already very ill. so your analogy about buses/cancer etc is rather irrelevant. that is probablility. already being very ill is actuality, already real, and already a fact. not a likelyhood.
AbsintheSorrow
New member
I'd just like to say... unless I'm knocking on death's door, I want to have kids. And I thoroughly plan to. Lots of children lose their parents... and with something like CF, you can be in okay health one minute, and dying the next, so it's not really reasonable to think about how long the child will have you. I've thought about that many times, and it sucks, but I will have kids as long as I'm able. Hell, even my boyfriend told me that if I look like I'll be on my way out before we can look into having kids (I can't carry my own, so we'd have to try surrogacy), he wants to freeze my eggs. So that, if he can find a way, he can have a piece of me running around long after I'm gone. And I think it's a good idea. I just thought I'd put in my two cents regarding this issue.
NoDayButToday
New member
To the anonymous person:Ok, I reread your post, and, in fact you did not say so and so should not have a child. But to me that was your implication, and if it wasn't forgive me. But the thing you don't seem to agree with/understand (and yes it is your opinion, and now here is mine) is that life is fickle for everyone, not just those with CF. Maybe someone with cf who has a child will die before that child grows up, but just because thats true doesn't mean they should live their life paralyzed by fear, no matter how sick they may be. And I too agree that if someone has a 35% fev, they should take that into consideration about having kids, it is a pretty low FEV. But in considering 'fairness' to a child, it is also not fair that children are born into extreme poverty, parents who don't love them, and a host of other things. I don't really understand what you meant by "that child did not ask to be brought into the world"; no child asks to be brought into the world."you have every right to your own opinion. do not make up my opinions for me. do not reword what i have written, and do not make rediculous comments like the one you made above, which to be honest completely undermine your own argument as it makes you seem hotheaded and slightly immature. " I do not appreciate being ridiculed by someone for expressing my opinion, and found your response very condescending. I did not mock your opinion by calling it ridiculous; I expressed how I interpreted it. Nor did I attack your character by calling you immature or hot headed (I also reread my own post, and did not see anything 'immature' or 'hot headed' about it). I still stand by my belief that the choice to have a child, in the end, is a person's alone.
HollyCatherynI don't care if you think I was rude. She said that she was very young, so I am guessing that she is still a teenager. How many teenagers do you know that are finished school (college). Most of them can't find a job to support themselves, how are they going to support a child?so yocelyncastillo (original post) I don't know how old you are, but please make sure you can support yourself first before you have this child.Dave 29 w/cf
last year i went to a funeral. i watched a 13 year old girl walk down the isle behind her mothers coffin. it broke my heart. it was the saddest thing i have ever seen. if that could possibly be avoided by people thinking twice before conceiving......those who ARE VERY ILL (NB <b>not all people with CF</b> just those who are already v v v v poorly when they get pregnant!!!!)death suddenly can happen to anyone. if you are "on your last legs" or have really poor health, you are more likely to die early. yes its true ANYONE could drop dead at any moment, but if there is a MUCH greater possibility of you dying prematurely, wouldnt it be a sensible to think about for the childs sake?i am not condemning anyone. but i do find the DECISION to have a child "regardless of how ill i am or how dangerous it is to my health or the fact that the doctor has said it is a bad idea" selfish. and the reason i find it selfish is because it is not being done for the childs sake, it is being done for the adults. like kylie said, parenthood is not a right. that doesnt make it any less sad when we cant have kids but it is still not a right.
Anonymous (last post) I agree with you 100%. I am 29 and getting married this August, and of course the topic of kids has been discussed many times. My fiance and I went to see a genetic counsellor to see if she is a carrier or not. If she is then there is a 50/50 chance that any child we have will have CF. If the test comes back and she is a carrier there is no way we are having kids. Compared to a lot of people that post messages I am very healthy, I was not diagnosed with CF until I was 22 and through exercise have maintained my health pretty well (I have never been admitted in the hospital because of CF). You were talking about people being selfish. A couple of years ago the kids topic came up again and I told her that I did not want kids because I did not know how long I was going to be around, and I didn't want to leave her a single mother. Her response was; I WOULD LIKE SOMETHING TO REMEMBER YOU BY.(selfish) If you want to remember me then put a couple of pictures up.I don't want to offend any of the ladies in this room but I have to say this. I am 29 and have been with my Fiance for 8 years and the kids topic has come up many times, and she is like most women who I have heard talk about having kids, when that women instinct kicks in she doesn't think about anything except that she just wants a child, no matter what. She doesn't think about potentially passing on this disease to our child oR the fact that in 10 years I might not be here. SHE JUSTS WANTS ONE.Dave 29 w/cf
hey colin, its anonymous!! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">just wanted to clarify (because i think my wording may be poor) that i do not think you are hotheaded or immature (sorry if it came out that way as i say v bad at expressing self). i felt that your bit about buses etc came across as hotheaded because it really was of absoultely no relevance to my post. however on a more positive, i think you in general post in an extremely mature manner, especially as i think im right when i say you are 15? just wanted to clarify <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
AbsintheSorrow
New member
Pssstt-- Her name is Coll, not Colin. <img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">