When should you tell a person ?

[krst123]

2 months ago I met a guy . He was perfect. I had never been treated that good before. Well we were together everyday until I told him I had CF. Well after that night things started to slow down. Then this passed Saturday he dumped me. He said he doesnt know what he wants right now , he just wants to be friends. My question is should I have even told him ? Was it too soon ? Did I scare him away ? When is the right time to tell someone that ?? I have never been dumped becuase of my CF. Well now Im depressed and would like to go on anti depressant meds, does anyone take them or have any suggestions : if they are worth taking ?
Kristen

 

[cfgirl38]

I don't think it was to soon to tell him, if he couldn't handle you telling him of your CF, then he isn't worth being a part of your life anyway. It takes a compassionate, strong person to be our rocks as we go through the journey of CF. It just shows how weak he is that he couldnt talk to you about it. Fear leads alot of people. So try not to allow him to occupy your thoughts for to long. I have some deprssion issues that started when my step dad passed away 3 years ago. I have been on Paxil, prozac but they helped at first but then I was back to crying all the time. Now I take lexapro and it really helps me. Although a pill isn't a miracle cure. It helps me deal with the little things. I really had to deal with the issues that were making me feel bad. Take care. Becky<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

 

[anonymous]

I hope this helps because ive been in the situation before..so the most i can do is give u my advice. I am not one for telling people that I have cf, i guess because im always afraid of people's reactions or how they will take it. The last few relationships i have had i have told people that i have cf and ive explained what it was. It's unfortunate that people can react in a negative way and it shows us how rude and unconsiderate people can be and how heartless people are sometimes. I have been in a situation where i told a guy i had cf a few weeks after we've saw each other and he just wasnt ready to make a commitment to someone with a disease. He said he was afraid of having to deal with death situation, which is understandable but obviously it hurts. So i ditched him and ya i was upset for a bit but then i found someone else. Ive waited a year to tell someone and ive waited a week and if they like you for you then they will stick by you and care for you and support you in everything you do.
It was unfortunate that you had to go through that but obviously he wasnt perfect and obviously you dont need someone in your life like that. It is his loss not yours. As for the depression pills I highly believe that if you're going to start taking them because some retarded guy ditched you thats ridiculous because you will find someone who will love you forever!!! But on the other hand it is your life and you know how u feel about it so here goes....I also take depression pills but for a different reason. I am always moody and depressed about myself and i was on the verge of committing suicide. I take celexa and yes it works very well. It basically evens out the chemicals in my body so that im not depressed. Dont get me wrong, it does not make you extremely happy but it makes you good enough to get through the days. I havent heard much about other pills, most people i know take celexa and ive heard good things about it. But i do know DONT TAKE ZOLOFT!! (if anyone remembers the young boy killed his grandparents apparently b/c zoloft was the cause). Well i hope my advice helps even a little bit and i know its hard but you know what...you will one day find that loving, caring guy who will stand by your side regardless of cf or not. CF is apart of us and yes i too should be taking my advice but our cf will never go away and we come with it and if someone cannot accept us as a whole then they arent worth our time. Move on and you will find someone who will stand beside you regardless of the situation. So keep your chin up and smile.
Ashley 20 f w/cf
P.S. I hope nothing i said was offensive to anyone and if so i deeply appologize, but im just expressing myself as best as i can to give advice.

 

[anonymous]

Hey, I just wanted to let you know that if he dumped you for cf then you wouldnt want him anyways!!! I used to not tell anybody not even my friends but as i got older i learned that if people are not going to like you because you have cf then you really dont wanna be there friend anyway! Ok and your depression, well, i have alot of depression and i TAKE zoloft, I am not crazy or nothing!! I take 200mg a day. It doesnt help all the way, like take your problems and make them good!! But it takes the edge of so where things are not so bad! I like it but alot of people dont! Anyways so yah it sux when people especially guys you really like dump you for one thing but guess what there is someone out there that is going to take very good care of you and rock your world just like my husband!! I love him so much and he is very good with me. Not everyone can be cool and understand!!! Okay keep your head up and if you wanna chat some time e-mail me. I am 20 with cf my name is Cariann!!! Cariann2005Rob@excite.com bye for now!!!

 

[anonymous]

Hi Kerstin and everyone else
I really hope its okay for me to come in here, I dont have cf myself but after reading your entry i felt i would like to add my opinion<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> my partner was diagnosed with cf when he was 2, we met 6 years ago.. of course at the time i didnt know he had cf, to be honest at that time i knew cf as just an illness and nothing more..we went for our first date soon after and it was one of the best nights in my whole life, he is the most loving, generous person i have ever met..anyways just a week later we spent our first night togther after which he told me he had cf and not only that but also that he would never be able to have children, it was a shock to me yes i will admit, but you know beacuse he had cf it didnt mean that he was any different to any other guy i had ever met, in fact he was even more special to me. For the first few weeks after this i researched cf myself a bit and gradually learned so much, of course i had my moments when i cried myself to sleep thinking how unfair life was for him, but i got past all that and its now 6 years later and we are now talking about marriage and going for ivf..we moved in together after just 6 months and people told us, including friends of ours, that we wouldnt last. i think they thought because he has cf i wouldnt be able to deal with it, well i proved them wrong..I do his tablets for him every night, get his nebs ready for him, collect his meds from our chemist, recently he went in to hospital to have his home ivs set up and each and evvery night i set them up and got up at 6am every single morning for 2 weeks to do them for him..I am not looking for any compliments here at all, i am just trying to say I loved him from the start and even after he told me he had cf after 2 weeks together i didnt run a mile, i seen through that and after reading the research it made me even more determined to be there for him when he needed me, i think thats what you do if you love someone and want to be there for them and i think this guy you were with obviousley was too much of a coward and a selfish person to want to deal with this, he runs the minute you tell him.I understand how sad this must make you feel but you know Kerstin there is more men out there that are willing to love you and i am sure that one day you will find that person, i really hope so anyway***

 

[supermanfan]

Sorry to hear that has happened to you, but I believe that if he couldn't handle it now, he couldn't handle it later either. What if you were together for years, and your health was great, but all of the sudden something happened, and you had never told him before that you had CF. That would be a wopper of a time to find out. He would then know that you hadn't been honest with him from the beginning. CF is a part of you whether you want it to be or not. It would be most aweful for someone to dump you for lying to them after being with them for years, and when you were down sick. That's the time you need the most support. It's better to find out now, then later.

 

[anonymous]

Right off the bat. I told my wife on our second date. I hated the idea that I should act differently in discussing something so important. I was/am so confident of who i am and that i was/am a good catch that i could tell her without reservation. Why would i date more than once or twice a person who would hold my CF against me? Tell them right off the bat.

 

[Emily65Roses]

Mike knew since before we even started dating. We met up one night (a Friday)... and didn't start officially dating until the following Monday... But he was told on Friday.

 

[jennifer]

My husband told me of his cf on our first date, asked if I knew what it was, and answered any questions I had. He was very easy to talk to about it. I appreciated him being upfront about it.

As for the depression meds, I have tried several-zoloft, cymbalta, and others but I can't think. Different meds react in different people in different ways. One of my past meds, made me sogrumpy, jumpy, and weird. For John Doe, it may help him to ???-Get thru the day. For u-it would lift the storm clould. Is that the sun shining? Be aware-it still can storm. But that one med may help the cloud to disapate faster? Good Luck.

Doesn't that suck? All the perfect guys are married, taken, some other "reason". Well, I found my Prince Charming. Yours is out there.

 

[thefrogprincess]

Everyone has given some good advice as far as this guy goes, he just doesn't know what he's missing and you don't need a guy like that. As far as the antidepressants go, getting dumped is no reason to go on medication! If I did that every time I broke up with someone I'd be in a coma by now. Unless you had depression issues before this or you don't start feeling better about it in a few weeks then don't do it. Eat a bunch of whatever junk food you love best and watch a bunch of movies with women who kick butt (anything with Mila Jovavich is good, or Cat Woman). You'll feel better soon. Also, antidepressants can have some pretty serious side effects including making depression worse if its not caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. There are tons of stories about people on prozac committing suicide, the company that makes prozac even agknowledges that it cause such symptoms if perscribed incorrectly.