***Women Only ???***

[sarabeth87]

I don't know if this is CF related or not, but I have no sex drive. I can't get aroused and I really feel like I hate doing it. I don't all ways feel like this, but when I do it usually doesn't last as long as it has this time. This is kinda of embarrassing, but I am having some problems with "lubrication" down there also.

 

[catboogie]

hey sara,

there have been posts before about lack of lubrication in CF women--i think it is fairly common. as for the sex drive thing, the only way i think it would be CF related is if it is being caused by one of your medications or if you are depressed. are you on any new meds? could you be going through a slump? happens to all of us. also, in a cruel twist of things, antidepressants themselves can cause you to not be as aroused or to decrease your sex drive.

hope this helps,

laura, 27

 

[LouLou]

I read recently in LHJ that the medical community has finally announced a side effect to birth control that I have long expected (damn men keeping it a secret for so long I bet in hopes to avoid condoms). Birth control causes decreased libedo in women. My gyno. and I had suspected this when I was 22 and experienced a decreased interest. She prescribed me Yasmin instead of Ortho Trycyclen because she said the lower dose of hormones might help my situation. Yasmin allowed me to be moist which was definitely a plus but didn't turn my appetite around. DH and I have been together for 9 years. We find the best sex (as I'm sure everyone does) is when both of us are fully engaged emotionally. I'm a classic girl.. I need talked to and listened to and need wined and dined and treated like a princess pretty much to be fully engaged emotionally. Let's face it there's not always time for that in life.

As my health (FEV1) has declined from the 80's to the 60's so has my appetite for sex. My peak seemed to be when I was around 19 yrs. old where I hear the average woman peaks at 30ish. Whether that has to do with CF or aging or side effects of meds I don't know.We'll never know all the side effects of our meds because they'll never test the interaction of all the drugs we take together which sucks. When I talk to my friends that have been in a monogomous relationship comparable to mine, we have similar experiences. To clarify I do not have difficulties achieving orgasm or lubricating but the desire is different.

We have to spice things up - avoid humdrum repetitiveness of the occasion. I have heard that women and there 'to do lists' in their head have negative implications on their drive. The older I get to faster things seem to go and there is always something to be doing since I work 45 hrs. a week and am supporting my husband through very stressful times with his career (post-doc..aka slave labor) In otherwords, I have major 'to do' lists.

Until things settle down and we can have our white picket fence so to speak we have to really focus on giving eachother the needed attention we both need.

Lately DH has really enjoyed me petting him... head, back etc. I guess we all go through phases. Oh one last thing..regarding phases I think that if your body gets out of practice with experiencing orgasms it is more difficult to achieve them so if sex in its traditional term isn't working for you make sure you climax even if it means taking care of business.

Okay I'm embarassed but I'm going to post anyways...

 

[thelizardqueen]

I think I peaked sexually at the age of 18-19. I definitly love sex, but its harder for me to get in the mood for it. When I have it, I enjoy it, but the end result doesn't always happen for me. I'm not sure what the cause is.

 

[JazzysMom]

Mine went kaput after having Jazmine. It takes a lot to get me in the mood & once I am, my man is one lucky man. It has caused a lot of anxiety for me. I spoke with my GYN about it (a female who I thought would understand) & she was of no help. I will try someone else from the group tho. Luckily my hubby is very understanding & we have a very open dialogue about this. We have to because he started thinking it was my lack of attraction for him which its not! There are many issues in my life that I think might affect it, but I havent addressed them so until I do I dont think anything will really help. It really sucks because I have an awesome relationship with my husband & this is the one "problem" that I can say we really have!

 

[chantelfox]

Oh wow Sara!..I thought it was just me! I am so glad you posted
this. This has been a HUGE problem for me. I was a virgin until
about 2 yrs ago, when I began dating my current BF.  I began
taking Yasmin the BCpill a week or so before. So, I don't know how
my drive is when I am not on the pill, but I thought before taking
it that it was okay. I mean I actually WANTED to do it, but since I
started the pill and sex at the same time I have nothing to compare
my drive to. I just assumed I was a freak of nature who didn't care
much about sex or that I just didn't like it. I never thought about
it being related to BC, my CF/ CF meds or anything. I have ALWAYS
been so dry and I get irritated really easily to the point that
it's painful to do it, even with lubricant. I thought maybe I have
an allergy to latex or something. I feel horrible for my BF,
because we don't do it anymore and I know he wants to so badly. I
told him I wanted to wait until marriage, because I had always
planned to (before I met him) and maybe the reason I didn't
like doing it was because I felt like I was doing something wrong.
But, I am relived (yet frustrated and disappointed) that I may have
a reason for my lack of interest in sex. It's just one more thing
CF may be starring as the evil villain in.

 

[thefrogprincess]

I had no desire for sex whatsoever while I was on depo pervera. It was bad! The guy I was with at the time was lucky if he got some twice a month. Then I switched to the ortho evera patch and blamo!!!!!!!!! Now I want it more than Brian does! The bad side of that is that now I know how my ex felt when I never wanted to have sex. As far as any dryness goes, use some lubricant. Even if you're not dry lube does make it feel better.

 

[sarabeth87]

Chantel,
I also wanted to wait until I got married. That, however, did not happen. Jack (my husband) is the only guy i've ever been with and we just got married in February after almost 3 years of being together. From what I've read, you feeling guilty about having premarital sex can affect your sex drive, as can the Pill. I saw somewhere that in woman, sexual arousal has a lot to do with the mental part of it and not just physical.

 

[chantelfox]

Wow, ok. So maybe it is guilt for me and maybe you as well? Geeze
it is so hard to pinpoint anything, when there are so many factors.
I hope you find out what to do about your dilemma Sara. Have you
talked to him? I know that can be hard, but maybe it would help you
with a lot. You are young and married, but I know quite a few
people who dated a person at a young age and got married young
without having any other significant others and they have happy
marriages, with no regrets. So it can be done. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0"> I hope we both
can fix our dilemmas. Feel free to talk to me anytime if you want
to.

 

[thelizardqueen]

I know with some women there is no drive, because they focus so much on getting there and achieving that end result. Sometimes you just have to sit back and enjoy things - don't think too hard about it or worry about it. it'll happen when it happens. Just remember - lots and lots of foreplay.

 

[littledebbie]

My sex drive only slumps when my breathing is really bad.
 Which is amusing since my breathing is sooo bad but most the
time I feel good and am in the mood.  Then again I'm not on
the pill etc.  I have an iud so I think I avoid most of that
trouble.  I do have the lubrication problem and I discovered a
lot of the lubricants are very irritating as well which is of
course NO help.  I finally went into a store and found someone
who knew their products and got 2 recommendations and life has been
much happier since then.  Well, that is until I joined the
ranks of the single again and now the sex has dried up for
altogether different reasons....<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0">

 

[Scarlett81]

OK Ladies-<img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">

Let's all come out of our sex drive closets!

I have the same problem too!!! I attribute it to a combo of things-my birth control (which I just stopped so I'll tell you if it gets better...<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">)-my emotional past, I was sexually abused and have dealt with flashbacks, although that has improved SO much! yea!, and being tired from my cf. Sometimes I am so tired I just can't.

My hubby and I have a rule-no sex after 10:00 pm. (usually-sure there are exceptions-anniversaries, weddings...heh heh) But seriously, if we get in the mood when its too late and I'm tired, I just won't be there, and I can't concentrate.

To enjoy sex I really have to relax emotionally beforehand. And, though it doesn't sound sexy, sex has to be scheduled and planned sometimes. That way I enjoy it more!

 

[sue35]

Well this makes me feel much better! I am not totally in the mood ever either. I mean, I like doing what we do but i could take it or leave it. It's not the guy I am with, he is the best yet but for some reason I just can't really get in the mood. And I never achieve the big O with sex either. I am lucky (I guess) because of the mucus down there I am always "lubricated" so I just have sex anyway. I am on the patch which I don't think is it. I always just thought it was me.

I told my mom this and she laughed. She said I was no daughter of hers, she is in the mood all the time. Soooo didn't need to hear that from my mom!

 

[JazzysMom]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>sue35</b></i>



I told my mom this and she laughed. She said I was no daughter of hers, she is in the mood all the time. Soooo didn't need to hear that from my mom!</end quote></div>


Ewwwww parents still do that?! LOL!

 

[Momtana]

Do women with CF experience less vaginal lubrication (when not on hormonal birth control)? maybe it is thicker? But, this is different than mucus from the cervix which can be thicker because of CF.