working moms

[mistylavon]

Hi - I'm just wondering if any of you moms work full-time and how it works out for you? I say home now w/ my 2 girls but there may be an opportunity to work full-time in a few months at a federal job. So, I'm just curious how you all do it and if it's worth it?

 

[rcq925]

Misty,

I work full-time as a probation officer for the County. (I wish as a federal PO!) I am lucky enough to have my mother be able to watch my kids and care for Hayley.

There are pros and cons to both working and staying home.

Working for the federal government you would have awesome insurance, make good money and if you put in 20 years, you can retire with full benefits.

COns would be for me if I had to put Hayley in daycare at such a young age. I am not trying to start a debate about daycare at all. Some people have to do it and have NO choice. But you obviously do have a choice, so that said, if I had a choice to stay home or work and put Hayley in daycare, I would stay home to keep her lungs as healthy as possible while she is young.

ANyway, I hope that make sense! Good luck with your decision!

 

[dyza]

I work full-time nightshift, but there again I'm only the father. The wife works 8 hours a week now, just to keep her in employment with the company, she has worked there for 22 years, I have worked there for 19 years.

 

[kayleesgrandma]

Hi Misty--my daughter, Kaylee's mom, owns her own grooming and boarding kennel. Kayllee goes to the same babysitter that her brother did. The babysitter is awesome--like a 2nd grandma. Her whole family was as devastated as us when Kaylee was first diagnosed. They have her vest there and do treatments 2-3X/day. Plus her pills, and the diapers--now pull-ups--thank God. 'Course, I'm available if there's a problem, since I work nights and am home in day. So we are lucky, we have good daycare. It's a hard decision, but foremost, the health of your child , and the quality/availability of childcare will probably determine what you end up deciding.

 

[Jane]

Hi Misty,

Its definately worth it for me. I really need to have time away from my kids and their medical issues (even for short periods). If it can work out for your family- then do it. I am a full time teacher which makes our lives very hectic during school months. However, the hours allow me to be home when my kids are home in the afternoon, on holidays and summers. My husband's job also allows him to have flexible hours so we are able to manage when the boys are sick. But its not easy.

We've talked about this at other times, every one has a different opinion about this subject. You have to weigh your options.

 

[Abby]

Hi Misty,

I did work full time and it worked out fine for us. We had two great daycares, one was a mom who cared for kids in her home. She finally decided to retire from daycare so we put her in a small group daycare. She did equally well in both and both worked with us and the cf issues. The home daycare person even did IV meds for us when Abby was on them and allowed the visiting nurse to come in and change the dressing. Not easy to find somebody like that and I sure did appreciate it.

Now, I'm the victim of downsizing and have been home since the end of June. I'm enjoying my time as a sahm, but will probably have to return to the workforce within a year. Luckily, my husband has a very good job so I'm not pressed to find something right away. What could be better than summer at home with my little one!!

Good luck to you in making your decision.

 

[lovemygirl]

Hi Misty,
I worked part-time when my daughter was young but I did go back to a full-time position this month. I find it to be a lot when there is the extra responsibility of physio and doctors appointments but I am sure we will adjust.
I recommend that you make it clear to your employer that you will need time off for clinic visits etc. I did this before going back to work and they are very understanding of my situation.

 

[Ratatosk]

I've worked full time since DS was 3 months old. He's been in a daycare center/preschool setting. When he started there were 5 other babies in his room, separated from the "general population". He loves going to school and interacting with the other kids. They have preschool, outdoor activities year-round -- even in the winter they go outside and play in the snow.

DS and I both have plenty of vacation, comp and sick time saved up. So we take turns taking time off for any doctor's appointments. We plan CF clinic appointments in the City around the weekend -- either a Friday or Monday appointment, so we only miss a day from work. When he has gotten sick with an ear infection, my inlaws are able to help out if we have a scheduling conflict.

 

[mistylavon]

Thanks for all the input and advise. We've recently moved to a new town about 2 1/2 months ago and prior to us moving I worked part-time for a federal magistrate judge as a secretary and in-court clerk and I loved it so much. The same judge I worked for has put in his judgeship app down by where I've moved for a full time judge. I won't know til Oct.1 though, he was so wonderful to work for and very family oriented. His policy is health and family before work, so it would be a awesome job for me and I would be a federal employee and it would be no problem to be gone for doc appts, etc.

My mother-in-law has recently retired and she's interested in moving up w/ us to help take care of the girls. If we do this, we will be looking for a bigger house hopefully w/ a m-i-l apartment so we're not crowded, so we'll see. I've said a prayer about it so if's it meant to be it is.

Thanks!

 

[mistylavon]

I really enjoy staying home w/ my girls (most of the time). I've been feeling down the last few days though, we're new in the community, I'm really missing my girlfriends to get together w/ the kids, and I'm feeling so cooped up in the house. My 3 1/2 yr. old just really drives me crazy sometimes and I feel like a terrible mom for saying that, my 20 month old is an angel most of the times unless the two are not getting along. My 3 yr. old is alot of times the sweetest thing in the world, she just doesn't listen at all, I know part of it is she's cooped up too, she needs to get her 3 yr. old energy out too. She's starting pre-school 2x/week the end of this month, then I'll probably be sad she's not home. Sometimes I really want to work then I worry I won't get enough time with them. I guess I just really need to get this out b/c I've been feeling down some lately. Am I the only one that feels this way?

 

[CFTwins]

Hang in there Misty. It's not easy to stay home... as I was reminded this week when our nanny (really the babysitter, but she likes to be called nanny!) was on vacation. Did you see that there was a woman last week that wrote an editorial about how being a mom can be boring sometimes. People are hitting her pretty hard... but I agree that there are some pretty tedious moments.

I have managed to go back full time to work (with a great boss). And it's been a good choice for me. .. I wanted to mention that if you have moved somewhere where there is a college nearby you might want to look for a college student to come into your home and take care of the kids -- rather than taking them to daycare. This has been great for us.

Our "nanny" is an early childhood/special ed. student. She learned PT, has special medical training (has worked with other special needs kids), and is completely flexible. I even had to call her at 2am once to take car eof one while I took the other to the ER. (You know college students don't really mind doing things at 2am.) I know that cost is a concern, but for us it is equivalent to what we would pay for two kids at a center and there is a lot less hassle and germs. (and she does the kids' laundry). It might even be nice to have someone part time to give your MIL some respite if she moves up.

Anyway --- just wanted to say... there are lots of in the same boat. Hope the weekend made you feel a little more positive.

Stacy

 

[welshgirl]

that woman was a brit ( i'm ashamed<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-blush.gif" border="0">) she is a disgrace to womanhood. she said a lot more than it was boring. why did she have kids? excuse my rant!!!!!!!

 

[Ratatosk]

A friend of mine hires a college student to "nanny" too. We have a University and two colleges in our town, plus a tech school, so she advertises online on the schools' job service sites.

We were fortunate to have found an excellent preschool/daycare center. They have structured activities (school) for a little bit in the morning, play time, meals, naps. Heck, this past spring they got DS working on his potty training. I was waiting for HIM to give me the sign that he was ready. Apparently he was, but I didn't have a clue as to how to start. Being a new parent, and really not having and friends or family members who have been there, done that, it's nice to have some insight from someone who dealt with children for 25+ year -- the director started her daycare center because she had children of her own. It's nice knowing that DS is in excellent hands.