Workmate with CF

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anonymous

New member
Hi all,
I just recently found out a girl I work with has CF. I feel horrible because in the past I have said things to her about having a shocking cough, even asked if she's a smoker! I don't know whether to act like I never said anything, or to apologise. She's in hospital at the moment and was wondering does anyone think I should visit her or would it be better for her to be left alone?
Thanks!
Julian
 
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anonymous

New member
Hi all,
I just recently found out a girl I work with has CF. I feel horrible because in the past I have said things to her about having a shocking cough, even asked if she's a smoker! I don't know whether to act like I never said anything, or to apologise. She's in hospital at the moment and was wondering does anyone think I should visit her or would it be better for her to be left alone?
Thanks!
Julian
 
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cfgirl38

New member
Everyone needs friends espeically when your going through an illness. Maybe send her a card if you don't feel comfortable visiting. I personally wouldn't bring up the fact that you may have said somethings you regret but just let her know you care. Just knowing that you have support makes it so much more worthwhile in your fight to beat it. I think she would appreciate the gesture. I'm sure we've all had people tell us a million times what a bad cough and do we smoke. So know that your not alone. Eva 35 w cf <img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">
 
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cfgirl38

New member
Everyone needs friends espeically when your going through an illness. Maybe send her a card if you don't feel comfortable visiting. I personally wouldn't bring up the fact that you may have said somethings you regret but just let her know you care. Just knowing that you have support makes it so much more worthwhile in your fight to beat it. I think she would appreciate the gesture. I'm sure we've all had people tell us a million times what a bad cough and do we smoke. So know that your not alone. Eva 35 w cf <img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">
 
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anonymous

New member
I'd probably say to confirm with her or her family that it's ok to visit her in hospital. I know for most of us, people who visit in hospital see us at our worst and it's not a very attractive thing!

That aside, I think if she let you visit it would be a good idea to apologise. Just say you didn't realise and wish you hadn't said those things now, and she'll understand. Trust me, we get those comments all the time, and they're more annoying than insulting. Even if you just take her aside next time you see her at work and apologise I think she'll be understanding.

I think it's great that you want to apologise <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

-- Emma
 
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anonymous

New member
I'd probably say to confirm with her or her family that it's ok to visit her in hospital. I know for most of us, people who visit in hospital see us at our worst and it's not a very attractive thing!

That aside, I think if she let you visit it would be a good idea to apologise. Just say you didn't realise and wish you hadn't said those things now, and she'll understand. Trust me, we get those comments all the time, and they're more annoying than insulting. Even if you just take her aside next time you see her at work and apologise I think she'll be understanding.

I think it's great that you want to apologise <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

-- Emma
 
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anonymous

New member
Hi,

It is nice of you to want to say sorry. I probably wouldn't go to the hospital to visit her as if you have just found out through someone else that she has CF she probably doesn't want to tell too many people and she might feel akward having you there for a visit while she is sick. I think the best thing to do is send her flowers or a teddy bear or something like that and tell her that you are thinking of her and that you are sorry that she isn't well at the moment you could even get work to pitch in some money and you could all wish her well with a pressie or all write on a card for her.
 
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anonymous

New member
Hi,

It is nice of you to want to say sorry. I probably wouldn't go to the hospital to visit her as if you have just found out through someone else that she has CF she probably doesn't want to tell too many people and she might feel akward having you there for a visit while she is sick. I think the best thing to do is send her flowers or a teddy bear or something like that and tell her that you are thinking of her and that you are sorry that she isn't well at the moment you could even get work to pitch in some money and you could all wish her well with a pressie or all write on a card for her.
 
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anonymous

New member
i think its lovely that you want to appologise. when people make comments about my cough (particularly linked to smoking) the biggest thing im annoyed about is the ignorance and the fact i am usually too shy to correct them! (not ignorant people by the way, just that hardly anyone knows about cf!)
like the others say i would send a card whilst she is in hospital and then maybe talk to her when shes better, but again just wanted to say well done you for wanting to put things right, i really admire you for that <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 
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anonymous

New member
i think its lovely that you want to appologise. when people make comments about my cough (particularly linked to smoking) the biggest thing im annoyed about is the ignorance and the fact i am usually too shy to correct them! (not ignorant people by the way, just that hardly anyone knows about cf!)
like the others say i would send a card whilst she is in hospital and then maybe talk to her when shes better, but again just wanted to say well done you for wanting to put things right, i really admire you for that <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 
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anonymous

New member
I don't know if you should visit her in the hospital, but now that you know about her cf, I am sure that she would appreciate an apology.

Dave 29 w/cf
 
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anonymous

New member
I don't know if you should visit her in the hospital, but now that you know about her cf, I am sure that she would appreciate an apology.

Dave 29 w/cf
 
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AbsintheSorrow

New member
I agree with all the previous posts. Probably don't visit her... but maybe send a card, and apologize when she comes back to work, or something.
 
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AbsintheSorrow

New member
I agree with all the previous posts. Probably don't visit her... but maybe send a card, and apologize when she comes back to work, or something.
 
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Diane

New member
I went thru something similar sort of. I am in a car club and we do car shows all summer together, and since car shows are outdoors its easy for me to move away from the smokers. I never told anyone i had cf because i always wanted to have my car judged fairly, if i won it was because the car and my workmanship deserved it, not because they felt bad or sorry for me. Well when i was hospitalized 5 times in 4 months for hemoptysis problems and two pulmonary embolizations, i had to tell them. They were all surprised ( turns out one guy has a niece who has cf). Some apologized for smoking in front of me, and i felt they shouldnt have to apologize because they didnt know. Had they known and still chose to smoke in front of me thats another story. I dont know that you "owe" her an apology, but its awesome that you want to give her one.<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0"> I agree with the poster that said to maybe send a teddy bear ( flowers bother some of us with sensitive lungs or allergies) or a card letting her know you are thinking of her. I guarantee it WILL brighten her day. We ALL get the comments you mentioned about our coughing, and a lot of people think we smoke because of the cough. I can almost guarantee you werent the first person to make the comments to her. I would doubt she even took ANY offense at all to it. Knowing that you care will be more important to her than any comment you've ever made in the past when you didnt know about her having cf.
~Diane 39 / cf / diabetes / b.cepacia
 
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Diane

New member
I went thru something similar sort of. I am in a car club and we do car shows all summer together, and since car shows are outdoors its easy for me to move away from the smokers. I never told anyone i had cf because i always wanted to have my car judged fairly, if i won it was because the car and my workmanship deserved it, not because they felt bad or sorry for me. Well when i was hospitalized 5 times in 4 months for hemoptysis problems and two pulmonary embolizations, i had to tell them. They were all surprised ( turns out one guy has a niece who has cf). Some apologized for smoking in front of me, and i felt they shouldnt have to apologize because they didnt know. Had they known and still chose to smoke in front of me thats another story. I dont know that you "owe" her an apology, but its awesome that you want to give her one.<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0"> I agree with the poster that said to maybe send a teddy bear ( flowers bother some of us with sensitive lungs or allergies) or a card letting her know you are thinking of her. I guarantee it WILL brighten her day. We ALL get the comments you mentioned about our coughing, and a lot of people think we smoke because of the cough. I can almost guarantee you werent the first person to make the comments to her. I would doubt she even took ANY offense at all to it. Knowing that you care will be more important to her than any comment you've ever made in the past when you didnt know about her having cf.
~Diane 39 / cf / diabetes / b.cepacia
 
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HollyCatheryn

New member
I think you ought to sign a card and order a pizza to be delivered (that's what I'd want! haha) THAT is sensitive. I think we all appreciate the thought, but hospital food is horrible and getting something pleasant to eat is GREAT! Check with her family or call her to see if you can visit & tell them you'd like to send something, would she like flowers or pizza, Does she have any allergies to that stuff? Asking permission shows that you care and are sensitive to her needs and situation. Don't be shy to ask. 
 
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HollyCatheryn

New member
I think you ought to sign a card and order a pizza to be delivered (that's what I'd want! haha) THAT is sensitive. I think we all appreciate the thought, but hospital food is horrible and getting something pleasant to eat is GREAT! Check with her family or call her to see if you can visit & tell them you'd like to send something, would she like flowers or pizza, Does she have any allergies to that stuff? Asking permission shows that you care and are sensitive to her needs and situation. Don't be shy to ask. 
 
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