So I picked up my daughter after school. She says oh I don't feel good today. Started after lunch but she said she didn't want to bother me or go to the nurse because I was at work. She said she was nauseous, had a headache and it hurt to take a deep breath. No fever. Min cough. question is; got a call to see if I could work 2 morrow(I am NOT obligated to) WWYD? This stuff comes up alot and my career suffers from it but her health comes first.
Wwyd
- Thread starter Rebjane
- Start date
Aboveallislove
Super Moderator
I am so sorry. That has to be so hard. I'm wondering if it might make sense this time to say no, and kinda use it as a teaching moment to DD. We know they come first and that no matter how inconvenient getting called away from work, we're mom and we're there??? Good luck and hopefully it passes soon. hugs
Yeah, I think I'll tell them no, I gave her some zantac and ibuprofen but my guess is she might be coming down with something? Lots of people in our town are coughing and complaining how bad they feel(these are adults at work etc, non CF folks) I kept thinking I hope my daughter doesn't get that.
Aboveallislove
Super Moderator
How's she doing? Hope she didn't pick up the bug.
She seems ok. She still said her chest hurts, she thinks she might feel "tight". So she's taking it easy,we'll do an extra albuterol and chest pt. She's tired too. She wants to rest up so she can go trick or treating tomorrow. So maybe just some inflammation and remnants from a cold she had settling. Thanks for asking
LittleLab4CF
Super Moderator
If I remember correctly, your daughter is around 12 or so. At this age, I was discussing any medical issues with my parents and then making an appointment, seeing the doctor and filling a script or such. None of this was without the appropriate oversight, but at twelve I had been through the process enough times that nothing was gained by having a parent hear a familiar story. I lived in a small city of 45,000 so everything was accessible on foot or bike.
It struck me that she had a specific list of complaints, very observant of what her body was up to and some sense of concern. The question my parents would ask is 'where do you think this is going'? That usually cut to the decision to make an appointment, possibly call for a particular prescription or do nothing with the doctor just yet.
If the question is whether to keep her home involves staying home as well has similar rules. She's a little old for this but I could stay home any day I wanted. Along with this freedom was the rule that I stayed in bed and only had my school books and such to entertain me. When I was really sick, I had no complaints sleeping the day away.
This is a hard one in CF because most of us have some GI involvement. The last decade and the recent 3 years especially, understanding of how much the gut influences how we feel has been revolutionary. I first read a scientific paper with the eye popping title "The Vagus Nerve Infection Hypothesis". In short the author was tracing the biochemistry of " the sickness response " or the chemical process of convincing the brain you feel sick. This isn't like a nausea response but a potentially deep psychological influence. There's a hundred or more scientific studies published on how the crappy feeling a less than optimally functioning gut as most CFers have, there's an added element that is extremely powerful. It took me time to understand the seriousness of this sickness response. It's sort of like an extremely abusive mate or parent mentally devaluing, causing an extreme loss of self esteem and self worth. Except this is all about the vagus nerve sending an excess of negative feedback to the brain. If there are any problems, minor or more serious, this could lead to suicidal ideation. It's been established to be this serious.
What I am trying to say is at 12, she probably will do a great job of increasingly independent medical management. She's probably going to feel delighted to be trusted and not disappoint you. I type a list of topics, hand a copy to my doctor and be quiet while she/ he reads my complete list. With a few pointers she'll be making useful lists for covering the visit.
I'd ask, what will my presence add? If you have a good reason beyond wishing to care for your baby, take the day off. Personally I was just fine with my doctor without the addition of my parents.
I hope that helps,
LL
It struck me that she had a specific list of complaints, very observant of what her body was up to and some sense of concern. The question my parents would ask is 'where do you think this is going'? That usually cut to the decision to make an appointment, possibly call for a particular prescription or do nothing with the doctor just yet.
If the question is whether to keep her home involves staying home as well has similar rules. She's a little old for this but I could stay home any day I wanted. Along with this freedom was the rule that I stayed in bed and only had my school books and such to entertain me. When I was really sick, I had no complaints sleeping the day away.
This is a hard one in CF because most of us have some GI involvement. The last decade and the recent 3 years especially, understanding of how much the gut influences how we feel has been revolutionary. I first read a scientific paper with the eye popping title "The Vagus Nerve Infection Hypothesis". In short the author was tracing the biochemistry of " the sickness response " or the chemical process of convincing the brain you feel sick. This isn't like a nausea response but a potentially deep psychological influence. There's a hundred or more scientific studies published on how the crappy feeling a less than optimally functioning gut as most CFers have, there's an added element that is extremely powerful. It took me time to understand the seriousness of this sickness response. It's sort of like an extremely abusive mate or parent mentally devaluing, causing an extreme loss of self esteem and self worth. Except this is all about the vagus nerve sending an excess of negative feedback to the brain. If there are any problems, minor or more serious, this could lead to suicidal ideation. It's been established to be this serious.
What I am trying to say is at 12, she probably will do a great job of increasingly independent medical management. She's probably going to feel delighted to be trusted and not disappoint you. I type a list of topics, hand a copy to my doctor and be quiet while she/ he reads my complete list. With a few pointers she'll be making useful lists for covering the visit.
I'd ask, what will my presence add? If you have a good reason beyond wishing to care for your baby, take the day off. Personally I was just fine with my doctor without the addition of my parents.
I hope that helps,
LL
Littlelab,
You have some good insight. My daughter did take the day off from school. I let her make that decision. I did ask her if she thought she needed to call or go to the doctor and she said no. We both were comfortable seeing how she felt with rest, extra fluids, extra neb and chest pt. I think your idea of her making a list and going to the doctor is a good one. She tends to be quiet because she usually does not have a question(he does talk to her directly) I need to pass the torch
My daughter does have a good way of describing her symptoms, I do need to work on giving her the confidence to speak up to the doc/nurse and not just to me(which is who she relies on to do that for her)
For my daughter's symptoms, we are playing it by ear. Just because we didn't call the doc a few days ago doesn't mean we won't this week. We'll just see how it plays out. But I do think I will have her practice writing down her questions.
You have some good insight. My daughter did take the day off from school. I let her make that decision. I did ask her if she thought she needed to call or go to the doctor and she said no. We both were comfortable seeing how she felt with rest, extra fluids, extra neb and chest pt. I think your idea of her making a list and going to the doctor is a good one. She tends to be quiet because she usually does not have a question(he does talk to her directly) I need to pass the torch
My daughter does have a good way of describing her symptoms, I do need to work on giving her the confidence to speak up to the doc/nurse and not just to me(which is who she relies on to do that for her)
For my daughter's symptoms, we are playing it by ear. Just because we didn't call the doc a few days ago doesn't mean we won't this week. We'll just see how it plays out. But I do think I will have her practice writing down her questions.
T
The Dot
Guest
It is so very difficult to make those decisions where you have to choose between career and kids. I thought I was done with that when I adopted my grandson, and there we went again! However, I am ever reminded that my true job, my first calling, my purpose on earth is first and foremost my child/children. It has been tough as I have had lots of opportunities to advance my career in Respiratory Therapy that I have had to put on hold, but in the end, I know that I have been true to my calling.
A side note: This thread inspired me to have my daughter reorder one of her medications from the pharmacy. I showed her how to get on the phone and ask the pharmacist for a refill. she was actually very anxious to do this; I guess kids text more now than talk on the phone. I told her we have to keep practicing so she gets over being nervous. Anyway, she did a good job getting a refill.
DS has similar issues with talking on the phone and we've had to go over proper phone etiquette when answering the phone because at first he'd stare at the handset (caller id) and not pick up.
On a side note, I dislike talking on the phone myself. With his and DH's scripts, I email our pharmacy. And with mine, they have an automated phone system -- type in the prescription #, phone number we'll be at... and we're good to go.
On a side note, I dislike talking on the phone myself. With his and DH's scripts, I email our pharmacy. And with mine, they have an automated phone system -- type in the prescription #, phone number we'll be at... and we're good to go.
Alot of scripts I do use the automated refill; sometimes they don't work or the prescription expires so I thought I'ld teach her all the ways to refill a script I'll give the pharmacist a head up when I get her script tomorrow. They know us well. I could hear the smile in the pharmacist's voice when my daughter was talking. We did the call on speaker phone cause she was so nervous. Geez, when I was a teenage girl I think I had a phone attached to my ear most evenings. I am sure our kids will be texting their scripts in but my thought is it's good to get used to talking to people of authority.
I'll give the pharmacist a head up when I get her script tomorrow. They know us well. I could hear the smile in the pharmacist's voice when my daughter was talking. We did the call on speaker phone cause she was so nervous. Geez, when I was a teenage girl I think I had a phone attached to my ear most evenings. I am sure our kids will be texting their scripts in but my thought is it's good to get used to talking to people of authority.