Zen Sarcasm
¬ Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
¬ The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
¬ It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
¬ Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
¬ Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
¬ Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
¬ If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
¬ Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
¬ If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
¬ Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
¬ If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
¬ If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
My Father always said this to us.
¬ Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
¬ Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
¬ Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that.
¬ The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
¬ Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
¬ There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
¬ Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
¬ Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
¬ Never miss a good chance to shut up.
¬ Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. <img src="">
¬ Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
¬ The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
¬ It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
¬ Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
¬ Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
¬ Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
¬ If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
¬ Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
¬ If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
¬ Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
¬ If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
¬ If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
My Father always said this to us.
¬ Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
¬ Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
¬ Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that.
¬ The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
¬ Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
¬ There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
¬ Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
¬ Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
¬ Never miss a good chance to shut up.
¬ Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. <img src="">