With Cory, we used the 5 wishes form. We never got to officially file it since I am unsure about that part. We chose 5 wishes because it didn't seemed aimed at "the elderly" and given that Cory was only 23 years old, it was the best suit.
One of the best things we did was have a copy of our states DNR. We received it from our ICU nurse. Cory and I had talked and talked on how he did not want to placed on a ventilator when the time comes if it meant he would not come off. He could not bring himself to sign it but it heavy detail, he had told his doctor and myself the details of the 5 wishes.
Since Cory passed away at home, having the DNR, I was able to sign it with a witness signing it also. His doctor also signed it. This allowed Cory to pass away peacefully, in his own home. He was able to remain with us until the funeral home came. When the ambulance arrived, the just had to verify that he passed and did so without interrupting our grieving moments and last moments with Cory. With out having that form, they would have had to attempt to revive him and take him to the hospital to wait for the funeral home.
The other thing Cory did for us. He wrote on his computer everything he wanted. He told us what he wanted to wear, where he wanted it held, the color and style of his casket and who he wanted to speak. When it came to those final days..We knew were carrying out exactly everything Cory wanted and in so many ways, made a very difficult time easy on us.
I still hurt and ache on the loss of my son. A piece of me broke when he died. I have questioned myself a thousand times. But then I look back at all the notes. The 5 wishes form, the notes he left and I find peace in knowing that Cory was ready to leave us and he did so on his terms. We were just meant to carry them out. I can't express what a gift he left us by taking the time and hardship to have everything laid out
