I have experienced a bit of everything so far. I had my daughter when I was 30. Total surprise & a great pregnancy including the ability to work fulltime until my 8th month. I actually enjoyed getting up with her at 2 in the morning or falling asleep in the chair holding her when she was sick. My husband thought I was out of my mind for enjoying this stuff. It was hard....dont get me wrong. The after care was much harder then the pregnancy for me, but worth it. To this day it breaks my heart to see her worry if I cough more or if she hears those words...."Mom has to go into the hospital". Heck she even worries when I tell her I have a doctor appointment & for good reason. One time last year I went for an appointment & didnt come home for a month. I just do my best to keep well, but she knows that my best isnt a gaurantee of things. That is how CF is. I try to make extra time for her & I. It tends to be when I tuck her in. Since I am a stay at home Mom, I am the primary care giver which is good & bad. We spend a lot of time together & always have, but it makes the seperation during hospital admits even harder. She has a fabulous Dad tho. I dont think no matter how prepared you think you are or how many times you stalk about various things that you can be ready when the times come. Whether it be a hospital admit, home iv's or actual death. I always was more worried about my daughter when I died, but just being sick is hard to. I try to do my treatments when she is asleep etc. I am not trying to hide it per say, but I dont want to constantly remind her that I am sick. I hope you understand that reasoning. Its definitely a personal choice & one that as I said no matter how informed or sure you are about the what ifs...until you live them, it just doesnt completely click!
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a Cf person raising a family?
- Thread starter anonymous
- Start date
I have experienced a bit of everything so far. I had my daughter when I was 30. Total surprise & a great pregnancy including the ability to work fulltime until my 8th month. I actually enjoyed getting up with her at 2 in the morning or falling asleep in the chair holding her when she was sick. My husband thought I was out of my mind for enjoying this stuff. It was hard....dont get me wrong. The after care was much harder then the pregnancy for me, but worth it. To this day it breaks my heart to see her worry if I cough more or if she hears those words...."Mom has to go into the hospital". Heck she even worries when I tell her I have a doctor appointment & for good reason. One time last year I went for an appointment & didnt come home for a month. I just do my best to keep well, but she knows that my best isnt a gaurantee of things. That is how CF is. I try to make extra time for her & I. It tends to be when I tuck her in. Since I am a stay at home Mom, I am the primary care giver which is good & bad. We spend a lot of time together & always have, but it makes the seperation during hospital admits even harder. She has a fabulous Dad tho. I dont think no matter how prepared you think you are or how many times you stalk about various things that you can be ready when the times come. Whether it be a hospital admit, home iv's or actual death. I always was more worried about my daughter when I died, but just being sick is hard to. I try to do my treatments when she is asleep etc. I am not trying to hide it per say, but I dont want to constantly remind her that I am sick. I hope you understand that reasoning. Its definitely a personal choice & one that as I said no matter how informed or sure you are about the what ifs...until you live them, it just doesnt completely click!
One thing I didn't think about is having to explain things to the kids. "this is why Daddy's sick" "Mommy has to go to the hospital" "Daddy's not going to get any better..." "It's not your fault he died. "
I have dealt with all of that, and it's one more variable I didn't consider. You and your husband/wife will have to dicuss how to handle these situations when they come up with a child. Because the questions will come, if not immedately, eventually. One thing I would do differently is have talked about how to handle Ahava's form of grief after Ry was gone. I'm pretty much freestyling it at this point, and while I doubt she'll turn out to be a serial killer, sometimes I worry I'm not doing a good job.
So, talk about how you are going to explain CF and its attendant complications to your kids.
I have dealt with all of that, and it's one more variable I didn't consider. You and your husband/wife will have to dicuss how to handle these situations when they come up with a child. Because the questions will come, if not immedately, eventually. One thing I would do differently is have talked about how to handle Ahava's form of grief after Ry was gone. I'm pretty much freestyling it at this point, and while I doubt she'll turn out to be a serial killer, sometimes I worry I'm not doing a good job.
So, talk about how you are going to explain CF and its attendant complications to your kids.
One thing I didn't think about is having to explain things to the kids. "this is why Daddy's sick" "Mommy has to go to the hospital" "Daddy's not going to get any better..." "It's not your fault he died. "
I have dealt with all of that, and it's one more variable I didn't consider. You and your husband/wife will have to dicuss how to handle these situations when they come up with a child. Because the questions will come, if not immedately, eventually. One thing I would do differently is have talked about how to handle Ahava's form of grief after Ry was gone. I'm pretty much freestyling it at this point, and while I doubt she'll turn out to be a serial killer, sometimes I worry I'm not doing a good job.
So, talk about how you are going to explain CF and its attendant complications to your kids.
I have dealt with all of that, and it's one more variable I didn't consider. You and your husband/wife will have to dicuss how to handle these situations when they come up with a child. Because the questions will come, if not immedately, eventually. One thing I would do differently is have talked about how to handle Ahava's form of grief after Ry was gone. I'm pretty much freestyling it at this point, and while I doubt she'll turn out to be a serial killer, sometimes I worry I'm not doing a good job.
So, talk about how you are going to explain CF and its attendant complications to your kids.
i have cf diagn, at age 6-7 i have been married to my highschool sweetheart for 6 years. we have 1 son.. its hard but my husband is so supprtive i stay home now. i take care of myself and him and try to be a great wife. ill tell you cf is hard but every time i look at my son i get more inspyared to do my best to get as healthy as i can.. i fight for him... he is my miracle..
i have cf diagn, at age 6-7 i have been married to my highschool sweetheart for 6 years. we have 1 son.. its hard but my husband is so supprtive i stay home now. i take care of myself and him and try to be a great wife. ill tell you cf is hard but every time i look at my son i get more inspyared to do my best to get as healthy as i can.. i fight for him... he is my miracle..
JennifersHope
New member
I am intrigued by this post because this is something that has been on my heart for a long time.. I always wanted to have kids always, always, always. I would give up and career or school for the abilty to have a child...then when I figured I wouldn't be able to have kids, I thought of adpotion and giving a kid something they would never have had.. but I just feel like I would be so selfish.. because I want it, I don't want to subject the kid to my life.. Well I do and I don't...,
Reading posts like this encourages me and at the same time makes me feel like something is wrong with me.... I don't know if I can do it and it isn't like I can change my mind... Of course having a baby is out, considering, I am not married or even have a BF but I always thought I would do foster parenting when I was done with school..
I get so tired all the time, I need 10 hours of sleep a day, and sometimes a nap, I get sick if I don't get it. When I hear stories like Mels of her holding her sick child on her lap all night, my heart throbs because that is something I would love to do. I would love to be a stay at home mom, bake cookies with my kids and work on projects with them. I think I could do it, if I didn't work outside home...but even then, I don't know...
ANyway, I love reading stories of how ppl are having families and being successful.
Jennifer
Reading posts like this encourages me and at the same time makes me feel like something is wrong with me.... I don't know if I can do it and it isn't like I can change my mind... Of course having a baby is out, considering, I am not married or even have a BF but I always thought I would do foster parenting when I was done with school..
I get so tired all the time, I need 10 hours of sleep a day, and sometimes a nap, I get sick if I don't get it. When I hear stories like Mels of her holding her sick child on her lap all night, my heart throbs because that is something I would love to do. I would love to be a stay at home mom, bake cookies with my kids and work on projects with them. I think I could do it, if I didn't work outside home...but even then, I don't know...
ANyway, I love reading stories of how ppl are having families and being successful.
Jennifer
JennifersHope
New member
I am intrigued by this post because this is something that has been on my heart for a long time.. I always wanted to have kids always, always, always. I would give up and career or school for the abilty to have a child...then when I figured I wouldn't be able to have kids, I thought of adpotion and giving a kid something they would never have had.. but I just feel like I would be so selfish.. because I want it, I don't want to subject the kid to my life.. Well I do and I don't...,
Reading posts like this encourages me and at the same time makes me feel like something is wrong with me.... I don't know if I can do it and it isn't like I can change my mind... Of course having a baby is out, considering, I am not married or even have a BF but I always thought I would do foster parenting when I was done with school..
I get so tired all the time, I need 10 hours of sleep a day, and sometimes a nap, I get sick if I don't get it. When I hear stories like Mels of her holding her sick child on her lap all night, my heart throbs because that is something I would love to do. I would love to be a stay at home mom, bake cookies with my kids and work on projects with them. I think I could do it, if I didn't work outside home...but even then, I don't know...
ANyway, I love reading stories of how ppl are having families and being successful.
Jennifer
Reading posts like this encourages me and at the same time makes me feel like something is wrong with me.... I don't know if I can do it and it isn't like I can change my mind... Of course having a baby is out, considering, I am not married or even have a BF but I always thought I would do foster parenting when I was done with school..
I get so tired all the time, I need 10 hours of sleep a day, and sometimes a nap, I get sick if I don't get it. When I hear stories like Mels of her holding her sick child on her lap all night, my heart throbs because that is something I would love to do. I would love to be a stay at home mom, bake cookies with my kids and work on projects with them. I think I could do it, if I didn't work outside home...but even then, I don't know...
ANyway, I love reading stories of how ppl are having families and being successful.
Jennifer
ill tell you something, i swear i got alittle better after having a child... i do still struggle all the time, but he made me a total different person and i swear postive things keep you going!!!! i live and breath for him!!! sometimes when i get sick, ill do the vest 1 more time just because i look at him and say .. this disease will not take me just my opionion...
ill tell you something, i swear i got alittle better after having a child... i do still struggle all the time, but he made me a total different person and i swear postive things keep you going!!!! i live and breath for him!!! sometimes when i get sick, ill do the vest 1 more time just because i look at him and say .. this disease will not take me just my opionion...
Jenn you are an inspiration. I hope your CF stays well and you just get better and in a few years all the extra therapies will have paid off.
There was a time when I wanted to get pregnant. Thankfully I did not because it was with a man who would have been a terrible father. When I was considering this option, I spoke to a CF specialist who cared for woman who had babies. I do not remember her name but my CF doctor told me to call her. I remember her saying my pft's were not good enough and that the aftercare is much harder than the pregnancy. I am too old to have my own child now but I am older because I had a transplant. IT was a good thing for me that I did not get pregnant. IT was a good thing that I got divorced. Thankfully, I met a great man ten years ago and we are now married. His mother really wanted for him to have children but he and I talked about it and I told him upfront that I would not want to have children or adopt. His Mother did not like me at first but she had to get use to me because now we are family...... oh well. MIL are not easy.
Risa
There was a time when I wanted to get pregnant. Thankfully I did not because it was with a man who would have been a terrible father. When I was considering this option, I spoke to a CF specialist who cared for woman who had babies. I do not remember her name but my CF doctor told me to call her. I remember her saying my pft's were not good enough and that the aftercare is much harder than the pregnancy. I am too old to have my own child now but I am older because I had a transplant. IT was a good thing for me that I did not get pregnant. IT was a good thing that I got divorced. Thankfully, I met a great man ten years ago and we are now married. His mother really wanted for him to have children but he and I talked about it and I told him upfront that I would not want to have children or adopt. His Mother did not like me at first but she had to get use to me because now we are family...... oh well. MIL are not easy.
Risa
Jenn you are an inspiration. I hope your CF stays well and you just get better and in a few years all the extra therapies will have paid off.
There was a time when I wanted to get pregnant. Thankfully I did not because it was with a man who would have been a terrible father. When I was considering this option, I spoke to a CF specialist who cared for woman who had babies. I do not remember her name but my CF doctor told me to call her. I remember her saying my pft's were not good enough and that the aftercare is much harder than the pregnancy. I am too old to have my own child now but I am older because I had a transplant. IT was a good thing for me that I did not get pregnant. IT was a good thing that I got divorced. Thankfully, I met a great man ten years ago and we are now married. His mother really wanted for him to have children but he and I talked about it and I told him upfront that I would not want to have children or adopt. His Mother did not like me at first but she had to get use to me because now we are family...... oh well. MIL are not easy.
Risa
There was a time when I wanted to get pregnant. Thankfully I did not because it was with a man who would have been a terrible father. When I was considering this option, I spoke to a CF specialist who cared for woman who had babies. I do not remember her name but my CF doctor told me to call her. I remember her saying my pft's were not good enough and that the aftercare is much harder than the pregnancy. I am too old to have my own child now but I am older because I had a transplant. IT was a good thing for me that I did not get pregnant. IT was a good thing that I got divorced. Thankfully, I met a great man ten years ago and we are now married. His mother really wanted for him to have children but he and I talked about it and I told him upfront that I would not want to have children or adopt. His Mother did not like me at first but she had to get use to me because now we are family...... oh well. MIL are not easy.
Risa