A
AllansGirl
Guest
In May of 2004, Allan posted this in a "Dear Abby" type thread on a now-defunct message board. It was a private forum, and I wasn't a member at the time, so he knew it would be safe from my eyes. He posted this question the day before he told me he had CF. Very few of his Internet friends knew at the time--it was a fact about his life that he carefully guarded. His friend Annabel was one of the few who knew. The question was heartbreaking, yet the response so beautiful that when Allan invited me to join the board and I found it, I immediately printed it out. It was fortunate that I did, because just a couple of weeks later, the forum was shut down and all the posts were lost. It came so close to being gone forever.
I squirreled this away in a place that was a bit too safe (surely you all know how that goes) but a recent trip to Oregon, along with a lot of digging, brought it back into the light. I know that this series of posts meant a lot to Allan. The quote from the movie "Jack" brought him comfort, and he used it occasionally as a signature line on message boards. So, with permission from Annabel Lee, I'd like to share this with you.
<b>Originally posted by WinAce</b>
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Dear Annabel,
What is the best course of action if you have a secret that (1) if revealed, would irrevocably alter your friends' perception of (and possibly opinion of) yourself; and (2) cannot reasonably be hidden on any closer interaction than anonymous Internet posting? Let's say one had fathered and abandoned an illigitimate child, or brutally murdered someone, or was a Heroin addict, or had a deadly illness, or been paralyzed from the neck down in Gulf War I, or even shamelessly and ruthlessly ripped off old people's bank accounts in an Enron-like scam... something that you couldn't keep hidden forever from your friends, and might not be the most flattering fact to reveal... In such a scenario, is it better to tell all from the outset and hope for the best, share that fact only with a trusted inner circle of friends least likely to balk at it, or maintain a complete, stonewalled veil of silence (avoiding any contact close enough to inadvertently reveal it) until the inevitable (and ugly) expose?
Sincerely,
Eerily Mysterious in NY</end quote></div>
<b>Originally posted by Annabel Lee</b>
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Dear Eerily Mysterious in NY,
We all have secrets, some deeper than others. We are names, avatars, and opinions on a messageboard. Yet somehow we manage to touch another human being. We worry about, grieve for, hope with and even love these anonymous names on a messageboard. I think it's because we are our thoughts. This internet connection is the purest form of communication. I can't talk to my RL friends the way I talk to my online friends.
Your real friends, the ones that truly matter... will stay your friends no matter what.
Love,
Your Friend Annabel</end quote></div>
<b>Originally posted by Annabel Lee</b>
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote> Hi Winace,
Since I read your posts from last night I can't help thinking about this movie, "Jack" with Robin Williams.
Jack had a condition that caused his body to age four times faster than normal. His teacher, played by Bill Cosby, compared Jack to a shooting star. We 'regular' people are merely stars steadily shining in the sky, but occasionally a rare shooting star comes into our lives.
And we look up in the sky and we know that it's life is short but it's so beautiful. We don't want to miss it!
<i>"You're a shooting star amongst ordinary stars... A shooting star passes quickly, but, while it's here, it's the most beautiful thing you'd ever want to see."</i><b>--Bill Cosby as Mr. Woodruff</b>
<i>"When a shooting star streaks through the blackness turning night into day, make a wish and think of me and make your life spectacular. I know I did."</i><b>--Robin Williams as Jack</b></end quote></div>
I squirreled this away in a place that was a bit too safe (surely you all know how that goes) but a recent trip to Oregon, along with a lot of digging, brought it back into the light. I know that this series of posts meant a lot to Allan. The quote from the movie "Jack" brought him comfort, and he used it occasionally as a signature line on message boards. So, with permission from Annabel Lee, I'd like to share this with you.
<b>Originally posted by WinAce</b>
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Dear Annabel,
What is the best course of action if you have a secret that (1) if revealed, would irrevocably alter your friends' perception of (and possibly opinion of) yourself; and (2) cannot reasonably be hidden on any closer interaction than anonymous Internet posting? Let's say one had fathered and abandoned an illigitimate child, or brutally murdered someone, or was a Heroin addict, or had a deadly illness, or been paralyzed from the neck down in Gulf War I, or even shamelessly and ruthlessly ripped off old people's bank accounts in an Enron-like scam... something that you couldn't keep hidden forever from your friends, and might not be the most flattering fact to reveal... In such a scenario, is it better to tell all from the outset and hope for the best, share that fact only with a trusted inner circle of friends least likely to balk at it, or maintain a complete, stonewalled veil of silence (avoiding any contact close enough to inadvertently reveal it) until the inevitable (and ugly) expose?
Sincerely,
Eerily Mysterious in NY</end quote></div>
<b>Originally posted by Annabel Lee</b>
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Dear Eerily Mysterious in NY,
We all have secrets, some deeper than others. We are names, avatars, and opinions on a messageboard. Yet somehow we manage to touch another human being. We worry about, grieve for, hope with and even love these anonymous names on a messageboard. I think it's because we are our thoughts. This internet connection is the purest form of communication. I can't talk to my RL friends the way I talk to my online friends.
Your real friends, the ones that truly matter... will stay your friends no matter what.
Love,
Your Friend Annabel</end quote></div>
<b>Originally posted by Annabel Lee</b>
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote> Hi Winace,
Since I read your posts from last night I can't help thinking about this movie, "Jack" with Robin Williams.
Jack had a condition that caused his body to age four times faster than normal. His teacher, played by Bill Cosby, compared Jack to a shooting star. We 'regular' people are merely stars steadily shining in the sky, but occasionally a rare shooting star comes into our lives.
And we look up in the sky and we know that it's life is short but it's so beautiful. We don't want to miss it!
<i>"You're a shooting star amongst ordinary stars... A shooting star passes quickly, but, while it's here, it's the most beautiful thing you'd ever want to see."</i><b>--Bill Cosby as Mr. Woodruff</b>
<i>"When a shooting star streaks through the blackness turning night into day, make a wish and think of me and make your life spectacular. I know I did."</i><b>--Robin Williams as Jack</b></end quote></div>