Your'e asking-are YOU selfish???????
I know they'll be people that'll disagree with what I'm about to say, but It's just my personal opinion.
But I think that smokers are some of the most selfish people. Do it at home, do it in your car, do it in the bathroom, yard, ect...When I have people over that smoke, they know to go in their car, or down all the way on the edge of the lawn.
Sound like your family needs a major kick in the A** of respect and manners. They probably don't even realize what they're doing. So maybe they need some education. And it may take them hearing some upsetting things.
Example: We live next door to my inlaws. They have 8 kids. Well, when we first got married, they didn't realize that I can't be huggin and kissin and being around them when they're sick. After months of family dinners and them showing up at the front door with horrible colds, ect, I had it.
So this time, I just said to them-Do you want me to be around here? Do you want me to die in 5 years? B/c the more viruses I catch, the more exacerbations I get, the more mucus gets packed in there, the more lung damage I get, the shorter my life gets. And I had to spell it out it depressing terms.
So go for it. You sound like you have a large loving family. They just need to be informed.