Anonymous poster

Mockingbird

New member
Quote

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by: Anonymous
Im the original poster again. To mockingbird I'm not angry at you or anything, but everyone has his own view of happiness. If for you, getting a puppy would make you happy then this is great. However, frankly saying it means nothing to me whether I get a puppy, a flower, or watch the sunset. I hope you live long and dont witness a time when your friends dump you just because you cant keep up with them, when your partner walks away because she cant handle cystic fibrosis, when there is nothing to fight for or no one to live for. I admit that I made a mess of my life when I was "healthy" and didnt acheive things I would have admired by now. So all I'm left with now is regret, and dont tell me to make up because I wish I could. I wish I can have the chance and enjoy a beautiful sunset without an O2 machine and coughing episodes. Its a pity its all gone and I can do nothing, but dont expect me at anytime to blame myself because I dont control my fate. Get my pfts for 50% or something and see what will I make out of my life. I dont hate life on the contrary, I see it as very beautiful but not for all people. Man is predestined because God chose it this way. Im not saying that everyone with cystic fibrosis shall lead a miserable life, but not everyone with it can have the most out of life. CF shaped the character of many and made some people understand life better, but for me cystic fibrosis would remain a disease which stole my life, denied me many moments, broke my dreams, and left me with no acheivements. So when I meet God I have one word for him " Why?".
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------




No, you shouldn't blame yourself for your own fate. If I ever said that... which I think I did, or at least implied it... anyway, I was wrong. =-) And now I'm gonna say something that sounds kind of stupid, but bear with me. =-) You shouldn't blame yourself for your own past. You said you made a mess of your life, but at the time is that what you were trying to do? I'm gonna go out on a limb and say no. =-) Forget about the present for a minute and just go back to the past, when you had friends, and a um... girlfriend or wife, whichever it was. There were happy times, weren't there? That is what I am talking about! Not accomplishing anything, but having something to look back on and smile about. Maybe even laugh out loud. Heh, If I measured my life by what I've accomplished I'd be dissapointed, too. =-)

Whenever I hear about a friend from high school, and how well their doing, It always depresses me. Poeple who are starting their lives, becoming successful, while I have a one-day a week job and a rather large stack of unpaid medical bills. That kind of comparison would depress anybody. But what the hell? Just this morning when I was out in the front yard I tapped a mushroom with my foot and sang "Hello little mushroom, how are you?" ................... Where was I going with this? I just got distracted and now i can't remember. Okay, well it's not coming back to me, but there was a point in there somewhere.

Anyway, please keep posting. I changed my mind about the slap in the face thing. I just really want you to see the good in your own life. It's in there, I can sense it, something really strong... Heh, i bet the people around you can see it even better and you don't even know it. (No, I'm not pretending to be psychic. I can sense it in your last post, that's all. =-)
 

Mockingbird

New member
<blockquote>Quote<br><hr><i>Originally posted by: <b>Jennifer</b></i><br>
I can't sign it for some reason.. but I wanted to say, I think anyone who believes in God has felt that way in their life at point or another.. I am sorry that you are so sad, and angry You have good reason to feel these feelings.. I understand your feelings and I think it is good to share what you are feeling because many ppl may feel that way but few are brave enough to share their true feelings...

You will be in my thoughts,

Jennifer 32 with CF


<hr></blockquote>
 

Mockingbird

New member
<blockquote>Quote<br><hr><i>Originally posted by: <b>Someone else</b></i><br>
Here's an idea for the original poster & anyone else that feels depressed/negative. Ever thought of doing something for someone else??
That always helps me when I'm feeling down; I try to do a random act of kindness for someone else & it does brighten my day. A "thinking of you" card, a phone call, an anonymous note or monetary gift to someone going through a hard time, a compliment or smile to someone on the street/elevator/groc store that you don't even know--heck I even tell the gals at McDonald's that I like their nail polish or hair as I'm going through the drive thru. You never know, that may be just what they needed & it helps you feel good inside too. I guarantee it--just try it! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"><img src="i/expressions/present.gif" border="0">

<hr></blockquote>
 

Mockingbird

New member
<blockquote>Quote<br><hr><i>Originally posted by: <b>senator Graham</b></i><br>
To the original poster: I am sorry to read that you seem to have fallen so deep into dispair. Sometimes, when people feel this way they need someone to talk to. I am happy to extend my ear if you need it. Feel free to e-mail me at senatorgraham@yahoo.com if you need to talk. I will keep you in my prayers.

Sincerely,

"Senatorgraham"

"My friends are my estate. Forgive me the avarice of hoarding them."-Emily Dickinson

<hr></blockquote>
 

Mockingbird

New member
<blockquote>Quote<br><hr><i>Originally posted by: <b>Seasons of love</b></i><br>

Whether or not you believe in God, I feel that anyone who sounds this depressed deserves compassion, not scorn.

-------------------------
Kathy (Coll's Mom)

---------------------------------

"Measure Your Life in Love"-Seasons of Love (Rent)
<hr></blockquote>
 

ihatecf

New member
Hey mockingbird, I signed in and got a username so now its more cool (Im the original poster). To make some things clear, despite all what im going through I still fight for every good moment I can take. I'm very open to people and never angry at anyone. My friends dumped me because they aren't worthy and I was wrong choosing them. They weren't supportive at anytime and were never goin to accept cf or care to know abt it. I ve done bad in that field (choosing my friends). I made a mess of my life because I took things for granted and never done what I really wanted to do. I didnt choose the right girl because I didnt look so deep. I wish I can do these things now but can't. My family wasnt there when I needed them. I'm not an atheist and I believe in God and his son Jesus but keeping things in heart is so painful so I liked to vent and tell God my true feelings. I'm sorry if I created a debate on that thread which wasn't my intention. Thank you pals for your care and support and perhaps mockingbird should start thinking abt sending me a puppy.
 

Purplelungs

New member
If I could send you a puppy I would. They do the silliest things to make you laugh. I understand where you are coming from. You get really down and jsut need to ask why sometimes. You need to get mad sometimes. I still agree with mockingbird that its not good to be that way all the time. I know you said you dont do it all the time, but its good to keep it in the back of your head that if you feel down most or all of the time it might be time for some help. I should have gotten help but i never did. Luckily I found someone to help me at the lowest point in my life and when I say low I mean I gave up completly. If you ever find yourself in this possition, if anyone does, please find a doctor maybe get some antidepressants. Its better than nothing.
Its ok you caused a debate. Its even better that you got things off your chest. A person needs to do that sometimes.
 
Top