Mockingbird
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Quote
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Originally posted by: Anonymous
Im the original poster again. To mockingbird I'm not angry at you or anything, but everyone has his own view of happiness. If for you, getting a puppy would make you happy then this is great. However, frankly saying it means nothing to me whether I get a puppy, a flower, or watch the sunset. I hope you live long and dont witness a time when your friends dump you just because you cant keep up with them, when your partner walks away because she cant handle cystic fibrosis, when there is nothing to fight for or no one to live for. I admit that I made a mess of my life when I was "healthy" and didnt acheive things I would have admired by now. So all I'm left with now is regret, and dont tell me to make up because I wish I could. I wish I can have the chance and enjoy a beautiful sunset without an O2 machine and coughing episodes. Its a pity its all gone and I can do nothing, but dont expect me at anytime to blame myself because I dont control my fate. Get my pfts for 50% or something and see what will I make out of my life. I dont hate life on the contrary, I see it as very beautiful but not for all people. Man is predestined because God chose it this way. Im not saying that everyone with cystic fibrosis shall lead a miserable life, but not everyone with it can have the most out of life. CF shaped the character of many and made some people understand life better, but for me cystic fibrosis would remain a disease which stole my life, denied me many moments, broke my dreams, and left me with no acheivements. So when I meet God I have one word for him " Why?".
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No, you shouldn't blame yourself for your own fate. If I ever said that... which I think I did, or at least implied it... anyway, I was wrong. =-) And now I'm gonna say something that sounds kind of stupid, but bear with me. =-) You shouldn't blame yourself for your own past. You said you made a mess of your life, but at the time is that what you were trying to do? I'm gonna go out on a limb and say no. =-) Forget about the present for a minute and just go back to the past, when you had friends, and a um... girlfriend or wife, whichever it was. There were happy times, weren't there? That is what I am talking about! Not accomplishing anything, but having something to look back on and smile about. Maybe even laugh out loud. Heh, If I measured my life by what I've accomplished I'd be dissapointed, too. =-)
Whenever I hear about a friend from high school, and how well their doing, It always depresses me. Poeple who are starting their lives, becoming successful, while I have a one-day a week job and a rather large stack of unpaid medical bills. That kind of comparison would depress anybody. But what the hell? Just this morning when I was out in the front yard I tapped a mushroom with my foot and sang "Hello little mushroom, how are you?" ................... Where was I going with this? I just got distracted and now i can't remember. Okay, well it's not coming back to me, but there was a point in there somewhere.
Anyway, please keep posting. I changed my mind about the slap in the face thing. I just really want you to see the good in your own life. It's in there, I can sense it, something really strong... Heh, i bet the people around you can see it even better and you don't even know it. (No, I'm not pretending to be psychic. I can sense it in your last post, that's all. =-)
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Originally posted by: Anonymous
Im the original poster again. To mockingbird I'm not angry at you or anything, but everyone has his own view of happiness. If for you, getting a puppy would make you happy then this is great. However, frankly saying it means nothing to me whether I get a puppy, a flower, or watch the sunset. I hope you live long and dont witness a time when your friends dump you just because you cant keep up with them, when your partner walks away because she cant handle cystic fibrosis, when there is nothing to fight for or no one to live for. I admit that I made a mess of my life when I was "healthy" and didnt acheive things I would have admired by now. So all I'm left with now is regret, and dont tell me to make up because I wish I could. I wish I can have the chance and enjoy a beautiful sunset without an O2 machine and coughing episodes. Its a pity its all gone and I can do nothing, but dont expect me at anytime to blame myself because I dont control my fate. Get my pfts for 50% or something and see what will I make out of my life. I dont hate life on the contrary, I see it as very beautiful but not for all people. Man is predestined because God chose it this way. Im not saying that everyone with cystic fibrosis shall lead a miserable life, but not everyone with it can have the most out of life. CF shaped the character of many and made some people understand life better, but for me cystic fibrosis would remain a disease which stole my life, denied me many moments, broke my dreams, and left me with no acheivements. So when I meet God I have one word for him " Why?".
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No, you shouldn't blame yourself for your own fate. If I ever said that... which I think I did, or at least implied it... anyway, I was wrong. =-) And now I'm gonna say something that sounds kind of stupid, but bear with me. =-) You shouldn't blame yourself for your own past. You said you made a mess of your life, but at the time is that what you were trying to do? I'm gonna go out on a limb and say no. =-) Forget about the present for a minute and just go back to the past, when you had friends, and a um... girlfriend or wife, whichever it was. There were happy times, weren't there? That is what I am talking about! Not accomplishing anything, but having something to look back on and smile about. Maybe even laugh out loud. Heh, If I measured my life by what I've accomplished I'd be dissapointed, too. =-)
Whenever I hear about a friend from high school, and how well their doing, It always depresses me. Poeple who are starting their lives, becoming successful, while I have a one-day a week job and a rather large stack of unpaid medical bills. That kind of comparison would depress anybody. But what the hell? Just this morning when I was out in the front yard I tapped a mushroom with my foot and sang "Hello little mushroom, how are you?" ................... Where was I going with this? I just got distracted and now i can't remember. Okay, well it's not coming back to me, but there was a point in there somewhere.
Anyway, please keep posting. I changed my mind about the slap in the face thing. I just really want you to see the good in your own life. It's in there, I can sense it, something really strong... Heh, i bet the people around you can see it even better and you don't even know it. (No, I'm not pretending to be psychic. I can sense it in your last post, that's all. =-)