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Another Tune up
- Thread starter onlyoneloveinmylife
- Start date
onlyoneloveinmylife
New member
I'm hoping they will let me do home IVs, and for hunting I was gonna take oxygen w/ me. I'm curious to see if it will help with my walking in the mtns.
If i'm lucky I will only miss a day or two. Crosses fingers
If i'm lucky I will only miss a day or two. Crosses fingers
onlyoneloveinmylife
New member
I'm hoping they will let me do home IVs, and for hunting I was gonna take oxygen w/ me. I'm curious to see if it will help with my walking in the mtns.
If i'm lucky I will only miss a day or two. Crosses fingers
If i'm lucky I will only miss a day or two. Crosses fingers
onlyoneloveinmylife
New member
I'm hoping they will let me do home IVs, and for hunting I was gonna take oxygen w/ me. I'm curious to see if it will help with my walking in the mtns.
If i'm lucky I will only miss a day or two. Crosses fingers
If i'm lucky I will only miss a day or two. Crosses fingers
onlyoneloveinmylife
New member
I'm hoping they will let me do home IVs, and for hunting I was gonna take oxygen w/ me. I'm curious to see if it will help with my walking in the mtns.
If i'm lucky I will only miss a day or two. Crosses fingers
If i'm lucky I will only miss a day or two. Crosses fingers
onlyoneloveinmylife
New member
I'm hoping they will let me do home IVs, and for hunting I was gonna take oxygen w/ me. I'm curious to see if it will help with my walking in the mtns.
If i'm lucky I will only miss a day or two. Crosses fingers
If i'm lucky I will only miss a day or two. Crosses fingers
<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0"> Hey. I'm Monique. 42 with CF and I have 4 children. 3 triplets who are 12 and a 14 year old. I am not feeling very well right not actually. Actually, I haven't been on this site for awhile. Since last October (almost a year) I have had several fractures (mostly broken ribs) for over 8 months, inlcuding a foot fracture in the last 2 weeks. I have been on prednisone for 14 months now - 10 mg. a day. I am extremely sensitive to prednisone. I breathe real well on it, but it raises my blood sugars, makes me moody and of course I eat and do gain some weight. Which, they don't mind but I do. At 42, my PFT FEV 1 stays aroun 71-72 when I am on steriods but I have to many other affect. I fell and broke ribs 7, 8 and 9 on my right side. I was in so much pain that I couldn't breathe and/or cough to do my airway clearance. So, my PFT's in that situations went into the 50's. At my sickest moments in my life, they had never been that low. It hurt to do PFT to even blow into the equipment. I haven't been able to clear real well at all. What good would it have been to put me on IV's if I haven't been able to clear? It has been a mess. Because 2 months after those ribs broke, I broke ribs 5, 6 and 10. I was living on so much pain medication because I had to control the pain to breathe and do airway clearance. Well, of course now things are looking up because we are slowing weening off of my steriods. I know 10 mg. a day is not a lot, but my Dr. said I am a patient that is extremetly sensitive. Which is good for the breating parts, but not the rest. So, I guess you have to weight to the good with with bad. I was walking from the bathing and I hit into somethin on the floor and fratured my foot. It is too dangerous in my situation to have this going on. When you are on steriods over a year or so, you get more brittle. Actually 6-8 more times as much as the average person. Isn't that nice? I sometimes just sit and think about how more can there be I can take? Then I think about how worse it could be. I feel blessed a lot as well. I am doing ok and have 4 kids but you all know how hard life is. I get up and pray each day for self control of my emotions, etc. and to be a good wife and mother. It is hard to not get depressed sometimes. You can feel so alone sometimes. I know I am going on IV's probably starting tomorrow (I usually do them from home - but my doctor said if my PFT's aren't the best and my oxygen is down - It's usually 98-99 - He's putting me in the hospital. I hate to go in because I always seem to take care of my family first. But, I too have reliazed that to be here for them, I have to take care of my self first a lot of times. My 2 girls are cheerleaders and my one son in very good/involved in football. I haven't been very involved in watching them this year. It' has been so humid that I can't breathe outside and I've just been all around sick. I sit and explain it to them. I know they say they understand but I know it hurts them. I can't explain how guilt ridden my heart and soul is. It hurts me so much..No one else around me could even begin to imagine how I feel. ) So, getting back to you saying about getting a tune up and how it does stink, I am going to be getting one real soon (tomorrow starting!) and I too feel alone. I know I have God, but as far as people around me, I back and draw away. I just started Christrian counceling again. I am finding myself getting depressed again. Which, is normal when you have a chronic illness. I want to live and enjoy life one day at a time because non-one is guaranteed tomorrow. But, when you are sick during each day and are reminded of it and feel worse than you did 5 years ago and each year to two it seems to get worse (progress disease), it's hard to not be human about it. We have to think optomistic about it with all the medicines they come up with and do all we can do to keep ourselves healthy. I mean from what I hear, definitely exercise, eat right and take our enzymes (which I don't), do all of our treatments even when we feel good, go to the dr's when we feel good, etc. I even have to start cleaning my equipment better. This all as a lot to do with out outcome. I then know that God will give us/me a long lilfe if we believe in him and accept him and do our part. I now go to the dr's every 2-3 month average (It's been 2-3 weeks since the ribs - what a pain but I've done it) and we have to go. This is how we nip things in the but right away. I have to go in tomorrow to just give a spudum and a new PFT and pulsox(?) because when I was in the hospital 4 week ago, none of that was done. They are going blindly on my spudum for IV's. It'll take almost 10-14 days to come back and I could be on IV's 6 weeks. This is sometime mostly my fault. I remember when I was in clinic last last I left and forgot to give a spudum and I think the time before they forgot. My last one was in the end of May. What good is that for now the end of September? Anyway, we all know how much of pain things can be and how we are ready to go, but in the long run it hurts us. I have to stop being so much in a hurrty and stubborn. I am praying for God to give me patience and to be lest rebellious. Anyway, you should be able to do IV's from home and you can and should be able to get a couple of days on hunting in. Especially after you have a couple of days of IV antibiotics in you. I/We all know how you feel. I am so glad I came on here today. I'm sorry I vented so much but I needed to tell you all what's been going on with me becasue I've been upset and I know you all would understand. What is funny is my husband and my mom, whom I am closest to, are always my biggest critics. I need to talk to yo all. I know you all know exactly where I'm coming from. Thank you for listening. My private e-mail is jerseyboy6@comcast.net. I am 42 with 4 kids ages 12 (triplets) 2 boys and 1 girl and my 14 year old is a girl. My husband in 41 and is a great guy, but doesn't like to talk about CF to me much. I think he's afraid of loosing me. I tell him that he could go before me. Which, is very true. My husband is a perfectionit and doesn't usually like to see things wrong. He is very successful, a big boss (of over 150 people and likes control.) I am praying that he can go to my Dr. to talk this over with him. I really need his support and him with me. Do any of you deal with anything like this? Thanks again for you all listening to me and sorry again it was so long. I hope you all didn't get bored. I'll try not to go so long next time.
Monique
Monique
<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0"> Hey. I'm Monique. 42 with CF and I have 4 children. 3 triplets who are 12 and a 14 year old. I am not feeling very well right not actually. Actually, I haven't been on this site for awhile. Since last October (almost a year) I have had several fractures (mostly broken ribs) for over 8 months, inlcuding a foot fracture in the last 2 weeks. I have been on prednisone for 14 months now - 10 mg. a day. I am extremely sensitive to prednisone. I breathe real well on it, but it raises my blood sugars, makes me moody and of course I eat and do gain some weight. Which, they don't mind but I do. At 42, my PFT FEV 1 stays aroun 71-72 when I am on steriods but I have to many other affect. I fell and broke ribs 7, 8 and 9 on my right side. I was in so much pain that I couldn't breathe and/or cough to do my airway clearance. So, my PFT's in that situations went into the 50's. At my sickest moments in my life, they had never been that low. It hurt to do PFT to even blow into the equipment. I haven't been able to clear real well at all. What good would it have been to put me on IV's if I haven't been able to clear? It has been a mess. Because 2 months after those ribs broke, I broke ribs 5, 6 and 10. I was living on so much pain medication because I had to control the pain to breathe and do airway clearance. Well, of course now things are looking up because we are slowing weening off of my steriods. I know 10 mg. a day is not a lot, but my Dr. said I am a patient that is extremetly sensitive. Which is good for the breating parts, but not the rest. So, I guess you have to weight to the good with with bad. I was walking from the bathing and I hit into somethin on the floor and fratured my foot. It is too dangerous in my situation to have this going on. When you are on steriods over a year or so, you get more brittle. Actually 6-8 more times as much as the average person. Isn't that nice? I sometimes just sit and think about how more can there be I can take? Then I think about how worse it could be. I feel blessed a lot as well. I am doing ok and have 4 kids but you all know how hard life is. I get up and pray each day for self control of my emotions, etc. and to be a good wife and mother. It is hard to not get depressed sometimes. You can feel so alone sometimes. I know I am going on IV's probably starting tomorrow (I usually do them from home - but my doctor said if my PFT's aren't the best and my oxygen is down - It's usually 98-99 - He's putting me in the hospital. I hate to go in because I always seem to take care of my family first. But, I too have reliazed that to be here for them, I have to take care of my self first a lot of times. My 2 girls are cheerleaders and my one son in very good/involved in football. I haven't been very involved in watching them this year. It' has been so humid that I can't breathe outside and I've just been all around sick. I sit and explain it to them. I know they say they understand but I know it hurts them. I can't explain how guilt ridden my heart and soul is. It hurts me so much..No one else around me could even begin to imagine how I feel. ) So, getting back to you saying about getting a tune up and how it does stink, I am going to be getting one real soon (tomorrow starting!) and I too feel alone. I know I have God, but as far as people around me, I back and draw away. I just started Christrian counceling again. I am finding myself getting depressed again. Which, is normal when you have a chronic illness. I want to live and enjoy life one day at a time because non-one is guaranteed tomorrow. But, when you are sick during each day and are reminded of it and feel worse than you did 5 years ago and each year to two it seems to get worse (progress disease), it's hard to not be human about it. We have to think optomistic about it with all the medicines they come up with and do all we can do to keep ourselves healthy. I mean from what I hear, definitely exercise, eat right and take our enzymes (which I don't), do all of our treatments even when we feel good, go to the dr's when we feel good, etc. I even have to start cleaning my equipment better. This all as a lot to do with out outcome. I then know that God will give us/me a long lilfe if we believe in him and accept him and do our part. I now go to the dr's every 2-3 month average (It's been 2-3 weeks since the ribs - what a pain but I've done it) and we have to go. This is how we nip things in the but right away. I have to go in tomorrow to just give a spudum and a new PFT and pulsox(?) because when I was in the hospital 4 week ago, none of that was done. They are going blindly on my spudum for IV's. It'll take almost 10-14 days to come back and I could be on IV's 6 weeks. This is sometime mostly my fault. I remember when I was in clinic last last I left and forgot to give a spudum and I think the time before they forgot. My last one was in the end of May. What good is that for now the end of September? Anyway, we all know how much of pain things can be and how we are ready to go, but in the long run it hurts us. I have to stop being so much in a hurrty and stubborn. I am praying for God to give me patience and to be lest rebellious. Anyway, you should be able to do IV's from home and you can and should be able to get a couple of days on hunting in. Especially after you have a couple of days of IV antibiotics in you. I/We all know how you feel. I am so glad I came on here today. I'm sorry I vented so much but I needed to tell you all what's been going on with me becasue I've been upset and I know you all would understand. What is funny is my husband and my mom, whom I am closest to, are always my biggest critics. I need to talk to yo all. I know you all know exactly where I'm coming from. Thank you for listening. My private e-mail is jerseyboy6@comcast.net. I am 42 with 4 kids ages 12 (triplets) 2 boys and 1 girl and my 14 year old is a girl. My husband in 41 and is a great guy, but doesn't like to talk about CF to me much. I think he's afraid of loosing me. I tell him that he could go before me. Which, is very true. My husband is a perfectionit and doesn't usually like to see things wrong. He is very successful, a big boss (of over 150 people and likes control.) I am praying that he can go to my Dr. to talk this over with him. I really need his support and him with me. Do any of you deal with anything like this? Thanks again for you all listening to me and sorry again it was so long. I hope you all didn't get bored. I'll try not to go so long next time.
Monique
Monique
<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0"> Hey. I'm Monique. 42 with CF and I have 4 children. 3 triplets who are 12 and a 14 year old. I am not feeling very well right not actually. Actually, I haven't been on this site for awhile. Since last October (almost a year) I have had several fractures (mostly broken ribs) for over 8 months, inlcuding a foot fracture in the last 2 weeks. I have been on prednisone for 14 months now - 10 mg. a day. I am extremely sensitive to prednisone. I breathe real well on it, but it raises my blood sugars, makes me moody and of course I eat and do gain some weight. Which, they don't mind but I do. At 42, my PFT FEV 1 stays aroun 71-72 when I am on steriods but I have to many other affect. I fell and broke ribs 7, 8 and 9 on my right side. I was in so much pain that I couldn't breathe and/or cough to do my airway clearance. So, my PFT's in that situations went into the 50's. At my sickest moments in my life, they had never been that low. It hurt to do PFT to even blow into the equipment. I haven't been able to clear real well at all. What good would it have been to put me on IV's if I haven't been able to clear? It has been a mess. Because 2 months after those ribs broke, I broke ribs 5, 6 and 10. I was living on so much pain medication because I had to control the pain to breathe and do airway clearance. Well, of course now things are looking up because we are slowing weening off of my steriods. I know 10 mg. a day is not a lot, but my Dr. said I am a patient that is extremetly sensitive. Which is good for the breating parts, but not the rest. So, I guess you have to weight to the good with with bad. I was walking from the bathing and I hit into somethin on the floor and fratured my foot. It is too dangerous in my situation to have this going on. When you are on steriods over a year or so, you get more brittle. Actually 6-8 more times as much as the average person. Isn't that nice? I sometimes just sit and think about how more can there be I can take? Then I think about how worse it could be. I feel blessed a lot as well. I am doing ok and have 4 kids but you all know how hard life is. I get up and pray each day for self control of my emotions, etc. and to be a good wife and mother. It is hard to not get depressed sometimes. You can feel so alone sometimes. I know I am going on IV's probably starting tomorrow (I usually do them from home - but my doctor said if my PFT's aren't the best and my oxygen is down - It's usually 98-99 - He's putting me in the hospital. I hate to go in because I always seem to take care of my family first. But, I too have reliazed that to be here for them, I have to take care of my self first a lot of times. My 2 girls are cheerleaders and my one son in very good/involved in football. I haven't been very involved in watching them this year. It' has been so humid that I can't breathe outside and I've just been all around sick. I sit and explain it to them. I know they say they understand but I know it hurts them. I can't explain how guilt ridden my heart and soul is. It hurts me so much..No one else around me could even begin to imagine how I feel. ) So, getting back to you saying about getting a tune up and how it does stink, I am going to be getting one real soon (tomorrow starting!) and I too feel alone. I know I have God, but as far as people around me, I back and draw away. I just started Christrian counceling again. I am finding myself getting depressed again. Which, is normal when you have a chronic illness. I want to live and enjoy life one day at a time because non-one is guaranteed tomorrow. But, when you are sick during each day and are reminded of it and feel worse than you did 5 years ago and each year to two it seems to get worse (progress disease), it's hard to not be human about it. We have to think optomistic about it with all the medicines they come up with and do all we can do to keep ourselves healthy. I mean from what I hear, definitely exercise, eat right and take our enzymes (which I don't), do all of our treatments even when we feel good, go to the dr's when we feel good, etc. I even have to start cleaning my equipment better. This all as a lot to do with out outcome. I then know that God will give us/me a long lilfe if we believe in him and accept him and do our part. I now go to the dr's every 2-3 month average (It's been 2-3 weeks since the ribs - what a pain but I've done it) and we have to go. This is how we nip things in the but right away. I have to go in tomorrow to just give a spudum and a new PFT and pulsox(?) because when I was in the hospital 4 week ago, none of that was done. They are going blindly on my spudum for IV's. It'll take almost 10-14 days to come back and I could be on IV's 6 weeks. This is sometime mostly my fault. I remember when I was in clinic last last I left and forgot to give a spudum and I think the time before they forgot. My last one was in the end of May. What good is that for now the end of September? Anyway, we all know how much of pain things can be and how we are ready to go, but in the long run it hurts us. I have to stop being so much in a hurrty and stubborn. I am praying for God to give me patience and to be lest rebellious. Anyway, you should be able to do IV's from home and you can and should be able to get a couple of days on hunting in. Especially after you have a couple of days of IV antibiotics in you. I/We all know how you feel. I am so glad I came on here today. I'm sorry I vented so much but I needed to tell you all what's been going on with me becasue I've been upset and I know you all would understand. What is funny is my husband and my mom, whom I am closest to, are always my biggest critics. I need to talk to yo all. I know you all know exactly where I'm coming from. Thank you for listening. My private e-mail is jerseyboy6@comcast.net. I am 42 with 4 kids ages 12 (triplets) 2 boys and 1 girl and my 14 year old is a girl. My husband in 41 and is a great guy, but doesn't like to talk about CF to me much. I think he's afraid of loosing me. I tell him that he could go before me. Which, is very true. My husband is a perfectionit and doesn't usually like to see things wrong. He is very successful, a big boss (of over 150 people and likes control.) I am praying that he can go to my Dr. to talk this over with him. I really need his support and him with me. Do any of you deal with anything like this? Thanks again for you all listening to me and sorry again it was so long. I hope you all didn't get bored. I'll try not to go so long next time.
Monique
Monique
<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0"> Hey. I'm Monique. 42 with CF and I have 4 children. 3 triplets who are 12 and a 14 year old. I am not feeling very well right not actually. Actually, I haven't been on this site for awhile. Since last October (almost a year) I have had several fractures (mostly broken ribs) for over 8 months, inlcuding a foot fracture in the last 2 weeks. I have been on prednisone for 14 months now - 10 mg. a day. I am extremely sensitive to prednisone. I breathe real well on it, but it raises my blood sugars, makes me moody and of course I eat and do gain some weight. Which, they don't mind but I do. At 42, my PFT FEV 1 stays aroun 71-72 when I am on steriods but I have to many other affect. I fell and broke ribs 7, 8 and 9 on my right side. I was in so much pain that I couldn't breathe and/or cough to do my airway clearance. So, my PFT's in that situations went into the 50's. At my sickest moments in my life, they had never been that low. It hurt to do PFT to even blow into the equipment. I haven't been able to clear real well at all. What good would it have been to put me on IV's if I haven't been able to clear? It has been a mess. Because 2 months after those ribs broke, I broke ribs 5, 6 and 10. I was living on so much pain medication because I had to control the pain to breathe and do airway clearance. Well, of course now things are looking up because we are slowing weening off of my steriods. I know 10 mg. a day is not a lot, but my Dr. said I am a patient that is extremetly sensitive. Which is good for the breating parts, but not the rest. So, I guess you have to weight to the good with with bad. I was walking from the bathing and I hit into somethin on the floor and fratured my foot. It is too dangerous in my situation to have this going on. When you are on steriods over a year or so, you get more brittle. Actually 6-8 more times as much as the average person. Isn't that nice? I sometimes just sit and think about how more can there be I can take? Then I think about how worse it could be. I feel blessed a lot as well. I am doing ok and have 4 kids but you all know how hard life is. I get up and pray each day for self control of my emotions, etc. and to be a good wife and mother. It is hard to not get depressed sometimes. You can feel so alone sometimes. I know I am going on IV's probably starting tomorrow (I usually do them from home - but my doctor said if my PFT's aren't the best and my oxygen is down - It's usually 98-99 - He's putting me in the hospital. I hate to go in because I always seem to take care of my family first. But, I too have reliazed that to be here for them, I have to take care of my self first a lot of times. My 2 girls are cheerleaders and my one son in very good/involved in football. I haven't been very involved in watching them this year. It' has been so humid that I can't breathe outside and I've just been all around sick. I sit and explain it to them. I know they say they understand but I know it hurts them. I can't explain how guilt ridden my heart and soul is. It hurts me so much..No one else around me could even begin to imagine how I feel. ) So, getting back to you saying about getting a tune up and how it does stink, I am going to be getting one real soon (tomorrow starting!) and I too feel alone. I know I have God, but as far as people around me, I back and draw away. I just started Christrian counceling again. I am finding myself getting depressed again. Which, is normal when you have a chronic illness. I want to live and enjoy life one day at a time because non-one is guaranteed tomorrow. But, when you are sick during each day and are reminded of it and feel worse than you did 5 years ago and each year to two it seems to get worse (progress disease), it's hard to not be human about it. We have to think optomistic about it with all the medicines they come up with and do all we can do to keep ourselves healthy. I mean from what I hear, definitely exercise, eat right and take our enzymes (which I don't), do all of our treatments even when we feel good, go to the dr's when we feel good, etc. I even have to start cleaning my equipment better. This all as a lot to do with out outcome. I then know that God will give us/me a long lilfe if we believe in him and accept him and do our part. I now go to the dr's every 2-3 month average (It's been 2-3 weeks since the ribs - what a pain but I've done it) and we have to go. This is how we nip things in the but right away. I have to go in tomorrow to just give a spudum and a new PFT and pulsox(?) because when I was in the hospital 4 week ago, none of that was done. They are going blindly on my spudum for IV's. It'll take almost 10-14 days to come back and I could be on IV's 6 weeks. This is sometime mostly my fault. I remember when I was in clinic last last I left and forgot to give a spudum and I think the time before they forgot. My last one was in the end of May. What good is that for now the end of September? Anyway, we all know how much of pain things can be and how we are ready to go, but in the long run it hurts us. I have to stop being so much in a hurrty and stubborn. I am praying for God to give me patience and to be lest rebellious. Anyway, you should be able to do IV's from home and you can and should be able to get a couple of days on hunting in. Especially after you have a couple of days of IV antibiotics in you. I/We all know how you feel. I am so glad I came on here today. I'm sorry I vented so much but I needed to tell you all what's been going on with me becasue I've been upset and I know you all would understand. What is funny is my husband and my mom, whom I am closest to, are always my biggest critics. I need to talk to yo all. I know you all know exactly where I'm coming from. Thank you for listening. My private e-mail is jerseyboy6@comcast.net. I am 42 with 4 kids ages 12 (triplets) 2 boys and 1 girl and my 14 year old is a girl. My husband in 41 and is a great guy, but doesn't like to talk about CF to me much. I think he's afraid of loosing me. I tell him that he could go before me. Which, is very true. My husband is a perfectionit and doesn't usually like to see things wrong. He is very successful, a big boss (of over 150 people and likes control.) I am praying that he can go to my Dr. to talk this over with him. I really need his support and him with me. Do any of you deal with anything like this? Thanks again for you all listening to me and sorry again it was so long. I hope you all didn't get bored. I'll try not to go so long next time.
Monique
Monique
<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0"> Hey. I'm Monique. 42 with CF and I have 4 children. 3 triplets who are 12 and a 14 year old. I am not feeling very well right not actually. Actually, I haven't been on this site for awhile. Since last October (almost a year) I have had several fractures (mostly broken ribs) for over 8 months, inlcuding a foot fracture in the last 2 weeks. I have been on prednisone for 14 months now - 10 mg. a day. I am extremely sensitive to prednisone. I breathe real well on it, but it raises my blood sugars, makes me moody and of course I eat and do gain some weight. Which, they don't mind but I do. At 42, my PFT FEV 1 stays aroun 71-72 when I am on steriods but I have to many other affect. I fell and broke ribs 7, 8 and 9 on my right side. I was in so much pain that I couldn't breathe and/or cough to do my airway clearance. So, my PFT's in that situations went into the 50's. At my sickest moments in my life, they had never been that low. It hurt to do PFT to even blow into the equipment. I haven't been able to clear real well at all. What good would it have been to put me on IV's if I haven't been able to clear? It has been a mess. Because 2 months after those ribs broke, I broke ribs 5, 6 and 10. I was living on so much pain medication because I had to control the pain to breathe and do airway clearance. Well, of course now things are looking up because we are slowing weening off of my steriods. I know 10 mg. a day is not a lot, but my Dr. said I am a patient that is extremetly sensitive. Which is good for the breating parts, but not the rest. So, I guess you have to weight to the good with with bad. I was walking from the bathing and I hit into somethin on the floor and fratured my foot. It is too dangerous in my situation to have this going on. When you are on steriods over a year or so, you get more brittle. Actually 6-8 more times as much as the average person. Isn't that nice? I sometimes just sit and think about how more can there be I can take? Then I think about how worse it could be. I feel blessed a lot as well. I am doing ok and have 4 kids but you all know how hard life is. I get up and pray each day for self control of my emotions, etc. and to be a good wife and mother. It is hard to not get depressed sometimes. You can feel so alone sometimes. I know I am going on IV's probably starting tomorrow (I usually do them from home - but my doctor said if my PFT's aren't the best and my oxygen is down - It's usually 98-99 - He's putting me in the hospital. I hate to go in because I always seem to take care of my family first. But, I too have reliazed that to be here for them, I have to take care of my self first a lot of times. My 2 girls are cheerleaders and my one son in very good/involved in football. I haven't been very involved in watching them this year. It' has been so humid that I can't breathe outside and I've just been all around sick. I sit and explain it to them. I know they say they understand but I know it hurts them. I can't explain how guilt ridden my heart and soul is. It hurts me so much..No one else around me could even begin to imagine how I feel. ) So, getting back to you saying about getting a tune up and how it does stink, I am going to be getting one real soon (tomorrow starting!) and I too feel alone. I know I have God, but as far as people around me, I back and draw away. I just started Christrian counceling again. I am finding myself getting depressed again. Which, is normal when you have a chronic illness. I want to live and enjoy life one day at a time because non-one is guaranteed tomorrow. But, when you are sick during each day and are reminded of it and feel worse than you did 5 years ago and each year to two it seems to get worse (progress disease), it's hard to not be human about it. We have to think optomistic about it with all the medicines they come up with and do all we can do to keep ourselves healthy. I mean from what I hear, definitely exercise, eat right and take our enzymes (which I don't), do all of our treatments even when we feel good, go to the dr's when we feel good, etc. I even have to start cleaning my equipment better. This all as a lot to do with out outcome. I then know that God will give us/me a long lilfe if we believe in him and accept him and do our part. I now go to the dr's every 2-3 month average (It's been 2-3 weeks since the ribs - what a pain but I've done it) and we have to go. This is how we nip things in the but right away. I have to go in tomorrow to just give a spudum and a new PFT and pulsox(?) because when I was in the hospital 4 week ago, none of that was done. They are going blindly on my spudum for IV's. It'll take almost 10-14 days to come back and I could be on IV's 6 weeks. This is sometime mostly my fault. I remember when I was in clinic last last I left and forgot to give a spudum and I think the time before they forgot. My last one was in the end of May. What good is that for now the end of September? Anyway, we all know how much of pain things can be and how we are ready to go, but in the long run it hurts us. I have to stop being so much in a hurrty and stubborn. I am praying for God to give me patience and to be lest rebellious. Anyway, you should be able to do IV's from home and you can and should be able to get a couple of days on hunting in. Especially after you have a couple of days of IV antibiotics in you. I/We all know how you feel. I am so glad I came on here today. I'm sorry I vented so much but I needed to tell you all what's been going on with me becasue I've been upset and I know you all would understand. What is funny is my husband and my mom, whom I am closest to, are always my biggest critics. I need to talk to yo all. I know you all know exactly where I'm coming from. Thank you for listening. My private e-mail is jerseyboy6@comcast.net. I am 42 with 4 kids ages 12 (triplets) 2 boys and 1 girl and my 14 year old is a girl. My husband in 41 and is a great guy, but doesn't like to talk about CF to me much. I think he's afraid of loosing me. I tell him that he could go before me. Which, is very true. My husband is a perfectionit and doesn't usually like to see things wrong. He is very successful, a big boss (of over 150 people and likes control.) I am praying that he can go to my Dr. to talk this over with him. I really need his support and him with me. Do any of you deal with anything like this? Thanks again for you all listening to me and sorry again it was so long. I hope you all didn't get bored. I'll try not to go so long next time.
Monique
Monique