Any of yall feel like youd be happier just on your own?

carly23 · Jan 11, 2011

I dont know if this is normal or if any of yall feel the same but I know recently i was asked to get engaged...and of course i said yes but i did tell my boyfriend i dont want to get married in my eyes its just a piece of paper..yea i know you get to dress up and blah blah but i dont want all that to just show how much im in love with someone..does that make sense?

So i guess where im going with this is..ever since he asked me to get engaged well a little before to im realizng for some strange reason that i feel that although i love my boyfriend and care about him oviosly i feel that id be happier single?..we been together 2 1/2 years and we did go through some ups and downs which i know is normal but theres still apart of me that when all that happend it took away how i really was happy and couldnt get enough of him...and now that he recently just got this surveying job so hes workn 45 days straight i actually enjoy him being away as i like to be just on my own?..

I dont know what to do i guess but i thought also well maybe since hes working away when he comes home ill be feeling that excited/butterfly feelin and im not :-/ ...im not even sexually wanting to do stuff..and it frustrates him which i can understand...so overall when i look at things i realize that im stuck in this mode that i like things set in my ways just like my stuff etc. I live at my dads and glad i still do i feel this is where i get some quiet me time ..i dont know if this makes any sense but i had to vent out as i want yalls opinions...

I feel that on a CF level im better on my own as i only will ever understand why i do things the way i have to or know how to take care of me..i guess i feel i dont want anyone else having to put up with or take care of me ya know ...theres just some thinking going on and like i said i dont know what to do :-/ ...opinions please thanks!

carly23 · Jan 11, 2011

I dont know if this is normal or if any of yall feel the same but I know recently i was asked to get engaged...and of course i said yes but i did tell my boyfriend i dont want to get married in my eyes its just a piece of paper..yea i know you get to dress up and blah blah but i dont want all that to just show how much im in love with someone..does that make sense?

So i guess where im going with this is..ever since he asked me to get engaged well a little before to im realizng for some strange reason that i feel that although i love my boyfriend and care about him oviosly i feel that id be happier single?..we been together 2 1/2 years and we did go through some ups and downs which i know is normal but theres still apart of me that when all that happend it took away how i really was happy and couldnt get enough of him...and now that he recently just got this surveying job so hes workn 45 days straight i actually enjoy him being away as i like to be just on my own?..

I dont know what to do i guess but i thought also well maybe since hes working away when he comes home ill be feeling that excited/butterfly feelin and im not :-/ ...im not even sexually wanting to do stuff..and it frustrates him which i can understand...so overall when i look at things i realize that im stuck in this mode that i like things set in my ways just like my stuff etc. I live at my dads and glad i still do i feel this is where i get some quiet me time ..i dont know if this makes any sense but i had to vent out as i want yalls opinions...

I feel that on a CF level im better on my own as i only will ever understand why i do things the way i have to or know how to take care of me..i guess i feel i dont want anyone else having to put up with or take care of me ya know ...theres just some thinking going on and like i said i dont know what to do :-/ ...opinions please thanks!

carly23 · Jan 11, 2011

I dont know if this is normal or if any of yall feel the same but I know recently i was asked to get engaged...and of course i said yes but i did tell my boyfriend i dont want to get married in my eyes its just a piece of paper..yea i know you get to dress up and blah blah but i dont want all that to just show how much im in love with someone..does that make sense?
 
 So i guess where im going with this is..ever since he asked me to get engaged well a little before to im realizng for some strange reason that i feel that although i love my boyfriend and care about him oviosly i feel that id be happier single?..we been together 2 1/2 years and we did go through some ups and downs which i know is normal but theres still apart of me that when all that happend it took away how i really was happy and couldnt get enough of him...and now that he recently just got this surveying job so hes workn 45 days straight i actually enjoy him being away as i like to be just on my own?..
 
 I dont know what to do i guess but i thought also well maybe since hes working away when he comes home ill be feeling that excited/butterfly feelin and im not :-/ ...im not even sexually wanting to do stuff..and it frustrates him which i can understand...so overall when i look at things i realize that im stuck in this mode that i like things set in my ways just like my stuff etc. I live at my dads and glad i still do i feel this is where i get some quiet me time ..i dont know if this makes any sense but i had to vent out as i want yalls opinions...
 
 I feel that on a CF level im better on my own as i only will ever understand why i do things the way i have to or know how to take care of me..i guess i feel i dont want anyone else having to put up with or take care of me ya know ...theres just some thinking going on and like i said i dont know what to do :-/ ...opinions please thanks!

theLostMiler · Jan 11, 2011

How long have you been feeling this? Just since being engaged?

I would be lying if there wasnt times I wasnt bored out of my mind. Or enjoyed being alone and not seeing the fiance/bf for the night. I havent had that feeling in a while. But I can distinctly remember two long-ish spells, I cant remember the length of time. But the first time was after dating for a year, we had been long distance and he came home for the summer... we were seeing each other everyday even though he worked at the mine (got up at 4:30 am, didnt get home till 5 pm at night). I wasnt even really excited when he would get off work and come see me... b/c we didnt do anything but like watch tv or whatever. He wanted me to leave him "surprises" on his vehicle (notes and such) and I struggled with it. Towards the end of the summer things and mood changed and I got excited again, I was going off to college and I was excited to have that experience with him. There have been other times, like when a friend becomes single or something. My boyfriend and I had a big blow out a couple years ago, and we were broken up for about a month, it was sooo hard. We both realized that we wanted to be with each other and so we got back together and ever since then, things have been great. Because we actually talked about a lot of thigns that bugged us, we both changed some things, and I dont know... we really have just had an awesome couple of years. Like we dont take each other for granted anymore and I feel like we both really try at the relationship, even more than we did the previous 4 years.

I mean, every couple has dry spells, it's life. You are going to get comfortable. I read in a Cosmo a long time ago, one way to keep the excitment is to try new things together. Also, for me, just randomly doing stuff outside of "our norm" really kicks it up again too. Eat at a new restaurant, go on a trip, go sky diving? I dont know... when you experience something new together its supposed to stimulate those feelings and stuff again. I think also going out and doing your own things helps too, b/c you can come home and then both have stories for each other.

It sounds like you might have a little "cold feet" and secondly, you are just bored and have a routine that hasnt changed in a while. I mean, I dont know for sure, I am not you... but this is just my little experience (which isnt much haha).

I think you'll know in your heart.

theLostMiler · Jan 11, 2011

How long have you been feeling this? Just since being engaged?

I would be lying if there wasnt times I wasnt bored out of my mind. Or enjoyed being alone and not seeing the fiance/bf for the night. I havent had that feeling in a while. But I can distinctly remember two long-ish spells, I cant remember the length of time. But the first time was after dating for a year, we had been long distance and he came home for the summer... we were seeing each other everyday even though he worked at the mine (got up at 4:30 am, didnt get home till 5 pm at night). I wasnt even really excited when he would get off work and come see me... b/c we didnt do anything but like watch tv or whatever. He wanted me to leave him "surprises" on his vehicle (notes and such) and I struggled with it. Towards the end of the summer things and mood changed and I got excited again, I was going off to college and I was excited to have that experience with him. There have been other times, like when a friend becomes single or something. My boyfriend and I had a big blow out a couple years ago, and we were broken up for about a month, it was sooo hard. We both realized that we wanted to be with each other and so we got back together and ever since then, things have been great. Because we actually talked about a lot of thigns that bugged us, we both changed some things, and I dont know... we really have just had an awesome couple of years. Like we dont take each other for granted anymore and I feel like we both really try at the relationship, even more than we did the previous 4 years.

I mean, every couple has dry spells, it's life. You are going to get comfortable. I read in a Cosmo a long time ago, one way to keep the excitment is to try new things together. Also, for me, just randomly doing stuff outside of "our norm" really kicks it up again too. Eat at a new restaurant, go on a trip, go sky diving? I dont know... when you experience something new together its supposed to stimulate those feelings and stuff again. I think also going out and doing your own things helps too, b/c you can come home and then both have stories for each other.

It sounds like you might have a little "cold feet" and secondly, you are just bored and have a routine that hasnt changed in a while. I mean, I dont know for sure, I am not you... but this is just my little experience (which isnt much haha).

I think you'll know in your heart.

theLostMiler · Jan 11, 2011

How long have you been feeling this? Just since being engaged?
 
 I would be lying if there wasnt times I wasnt bored out of my mind. Or enjoyed being alone and not seeing the fiance/bf for the night. I havent had that feeling in a while. But I can distinctly remember two long-ish spells, I cant remember the length of time. But the first time was after dating for a year, we had been long distance and he came home for the summer... we were seeing each other everyday even though he worked at the mine (got up at 4:30 am, didnt get home till 5 pm at night). I wasnt even really excited when he would get off work and come see me... b/c we didnt do anything but like watch tv or whatever. He wanted me to leave him "surprises" on his vehicle (notes and such) and I struggled with it. Towards the end of the summer things and mood changed and I got excited again, I was going off to college and I was excited to have that experience with him. There have been other times, like when a friend becomes single or something. My boyfriend and I had a big blow out a couple years ago, and we were broken up for about a month, it was sooo hard. We both realized that we wanted to be with each other and so we got back together and ever since then, things have been great. Because we actually talked about a lot of thigns that bugged us, we both changed some things, and I dont know... we really have just had an awesome couple of years. Like we dont take each other for granted anymore and I feel like we both really try at the relationship, even more than we did the previous 4 years.
 
 I mean, every couple has dry spells, it's life. You are going to get comfortable. I read in a Cosmo a long time ago, one way to keep the excitment is to try new things together. Also, for me, just randomly doing stuff outside of "our norm" really kicks it up again too. Eat at a new restaurant, go on a trip, go sky diving? I dont know... when you experience something new together its supposed to stimulate those feelings and stuff again. I think also going out and doing your own things helps too, b/c you can come home and then both have stories for each other.
 
 It sounds like you might have a little "cold feet" and secondly, you are just bored and have a routine that hasnt changed in a while. I mean, I dont know for sure, I am not you... but this is just my little experience (which isnt much haha).
 
 I think you'll know in your heart.

carly23 · Jan 11, 2011

Thanks for replying

..but i have been feeling this way for a few months and i really didnt want him to pop the question because im not wanting a commitment like that if that makes sense?..i just sometimes feel like weve grown apart i do love and care about him i mean weve been together 2 1/2 yrs but im in this mode lately where i feel id be happier on my own and not having to worry about the other person and wandering if im going to get hurt etc. I guess i think being on my own i dont got to worry about anythn but myself i guess i want to
feel independent ?? And that makes me happy lol :-/ am i making sense...

carly23 · Jan 11, 2011

Thanks for replying

..but i have been feeling this way for a few months and i really didnt want him to pop the question because im not wanting a commitment like that if that makes sense?..i just sometimes feel like weve grown apart i do love and care about him i mean weve been together 2 1/2 yrs but im in this mode lately where i feel id be happier on my own and not having to worry about the other person and wandering if im going to get hurt etc. I guess i think being on my own i dont got to worry about anythn but myself i guess i want to
feel independent ?? And that makes me happy lol :-/ am i making sense...

carly23 · Jan 11, 2011

Thanks for replying

..but i have been feeling this way for a few months and i really didnt want him to pop the question because im not wanting a commitment like that if that makes sense?..i just sometimes feel like weve grown apart i do love and care about him i mean weve been together 2 1/2 yrs but im in this mode lately where i feel id be happier on my own and not having to worry about the other person and wandering if im going to get hurt etc. I guess i think being on my own i dont got to worry about anythn but myself i guess i want to
 feel independent ?? And that makes me happy lol :-/ am i making sense...

BaylorCrew07 · Jan 11, 2011

I don't have any advice, but wanted to say I know exactly how you feel, and it SUCKS. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0">

BaylorCrew07 · Jan 11, 2011

I don't have any advice, but wanted to say I know exactly how you feel, and it SUCKS. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0">

BaylorCrew07 · Jan 11, 2011

I don't have any advice, but wanted to say I know exactly how you feel, and it SUCKS. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0">

bagged2drag · Jan 14, 2011

"Cystic Fibrosis » Adults » Any of yall feel like youd be happier just on your own?

"Simply, yes. I really hate my life, and my relationship probably doesn't help me much, it really brings me down. F$ck it, I give up.

bagged2drag · Jan 14, 2011

"Cystic Fibrosis » Adults » Any of yall feel like youd be happier just on your own?

"Simply, yes. I really hate my life, and my relationship probably doesn't help me much, it really brings me down. F$ck it, I give up.

bagged2drag · Jan 14, 2011

"Cystic Fibrosis » Adults » Any of yall feel like youd be happier just on your own?
 
 
 "Simply, yes. I really hate my life, and my relationship probably doesn't help me much, it really brings me down. F$ck it, I give up.

Mikeinfla · Jan 15, 2011

This kind of hit me for some reason, I am coming at it from a different angle. 1.I am a guy 2. I am the one with lung issues. We have been together (yes happily unmarried) for more than 10 years.
I worked and took care of her in the beginning and then I started getting sick all the time! So pretty much that has changed and now she is caring for me and working. I really feel like I am dragging her down and I think she deserves better than what I am able to give. She was there for all the sickness, pneumothoraxes and vats surgery and I really dont know any woman who would have done that(of course I am basing that on what I see of my friends relationships!)
I really feel like I dont have much to offer her and I know she can go out and get someone better and more than likely be happier! I can only imagine the stress it puts on her when she sees me gasping for air on my O2 gen, neb or having to smell mucomyst in the morning! ( She dont want eggs on the mornings I use it!)
I have been thinking that maybe she would be better off without me, I mean hey sometimes it is easier to go through all the medical crap alone, that way I am not feeling like I am taking down someone with me! If that makes sense I dont know! On the flip side of that, ,It is comforting to know that I have her in my corner when I am in that spot.
2 plus years is not something to take lightly, obviously there is something to the relationship and if you aren't ready for marriage, then let him know that. Don't hold back your feelings and thoughts, Life is too short for that. I am sure he will see your side of it if it is meant to be.
mike

Mikeinfla · Jan 15, 2011

This kind of hit me for some reason, I am coming at it from a different angle. 1.I am a guy 2. I am the one with lung issues. We have been together (yes happily unmarried) for more than 10 years.
I worked and took care of her in the beginning and then I started getting sick all the time! So pretty much that has changed and now she is caring for me and working. I really feel like I am dragging her down and I think she deserves better than what I am able to give. She was there for all the sickness, pneumothoraxes and vats surgery and I really dont know any woman who would have done that(of course I am basing that on what I see of my friends relationships!)
I really feel like I dont have much to offer her and I know she can go out and get someone better and more than likely be happier! I can only imagine the stress it puts on her when she sees me gasping for air on my O2 gen, neb or having to smell mucomyst in the morning! ( She dont want eggs on the mornings I use it!)
I have been thinking that maybe she would be better off without me, I mean hey sometimes it is easier to go through all the medical crap alone, that way I am not feeling like I am taking down someone with me! If that makes sense I dont know! On the flip side of that, ,It is comforting to know that I have her in my corner when I am in that spot.
2 plus years is not something to take lightly, obviously there is something to the relationship and if you aren't ready for marriage, then let him know that. Don't hold back your feelings and thoughts, Life is too short for that. I am sure he will see your side of it if it is meant to be.
mike

Mikeinfla · Jan 15, 2011

This kind of hit me for some reason, I am coming at it from a different angle. 1.I am a guy 2. I am the one with lung issues. We have been together (yes happily unmarried) for more than 10 years.
 I worked and took care of her in the beginning and then I started getting sick all the time! So pretty much that has changed and now she is caring for me and working. I really feel like I am dragging her down and I think she deserves better than what I am able to give. She was there for all the sickness, pneumothoraxes and vats surgery and I really dont know any woman who would have done that(of course I am basing that on what I see of my friends relationships!)
 I really feel like I dont have much to offer her and I know she can go out and get someone better and more than likely be happier! I can only imagine the stress it puts on her when she sees me gasping for air on my O2 gen, neb or having to smell mucomyst in the morning! ( She dont want eggs on the mornings I use it!)
 I have been thinking that maybe she would be better off without me, I mean hey sometimes it is easier to go through all the medical crap alone, that way I am not feeling like I am taking down someone with me! If that makes sense I dont know! On the flip side of that, ,It is comforting to know that I have her in my corner when I am in that spot.
 2 plus years is not something to take lightly, obviously there is something to the relationship and if you aren't ready for marriage, then let him know that. Don't hold back your feelings and thoughts, Life is too short for that. I am sure he will see your side of it if it is meant to be.
 mike

missT · Jan 15, 2011

Mike, I could not have said it better. I feel the same away...I always feel they would be better off without me..ugh the guilt! It sucks to have my dignity taken away when i am sick or vomiting or in the hospital. I am 40 now and have been in and out of many relationships. When I was 23 the world was open to me and I really could care less if I had a partner...my friends were enough at times. Carly, if you are not sure then do not get married. You are really young (what is the rush)? Now that I am older I am looking to get married and settle down and start a family. It took me until I was 38 to find my soulmate but I am deeply in love and very happy. Don't settle...find your perfect match.

missT · Jan 15, 2011

Mike, I could not have said it better. I feel the same away...I always feel they would be better off without me..ugh the guilt! It sucks to have my dignity taken away when i am sick or vomiting or in the hospital. I am 40 now and have been in and out of many relationships. When I was 23 the world was open to me and I really could care less if I had a partner...my friends were enough at times. Carly, if you are not sure then do not get married. You are really young (what is the rush)? Now that I am older I am looking to get married and settle down and start a family. It took me until I was 38 to find my soulmate but I am deeply in love and very happy. Don't settle...find your perfect match.

Any of yall feel like youd be happier just on your own?

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