Thank you so much for all of the responses I have gotten. They have all been helpful. Even before I had posted this I had told my son I was no longer going to lecture him on this or beg him to get help anymore. I told him of course nothing changed between us but he had to make that decision and he needed to call me if he decided he wanted help. About 2 weeks ago I got that call. He was scared and very and very sick . He wanted to be taken to the hospital so I picked him up. I knew right away he was very ill. he had been drinking hard liquor for 3 days straight but really had been drinking heavy for a long time. He was admitted and went into active detox the next day. It was his 3rd time in detox but the worst he has ever experienced and it scared him which is a good thing. He does not remember that entire week. The doctors told him he would've died if he had tried to detox at home. He had alcohol poisoning on top of that. The reason he got so sick at 23 and his friends did not of course is the fact that he has CF and has liver disease . His body can not handle the alcohol so he has done 20 years of damage in 3 years. Fortunately it scared him this time and he voluntarily put himself in rehab. He decided he actually didn't want to die. He went from the hospital to an inpatient rehab facility where he will be for at least 4 weeks. The big thing is -he went voluntarily. I understand he can relapse so I am trying to be prepared for that but hopeful too. Instead of planning a funeral for my son as the doctors said would've happened had he stayed home, we instead planned a rehab stay so I feel incredibly blessed right now. Thank you for all of the word of advise. There is really nothing a person can do until the person with problem decides they want help.
I hope you find your son the help he needs soon. Unfortunately only he can help himself.