Anyone from New England, Anyone want to Vent?

farbeyond1

New member
Hi Everyone, I'm just trying to find some people to relate to. My name is Mike, I'm 27 living with CF and have posted to this site before and have spoke to a few of you. It's been quite some time since I've last been online. I've spent the past few months trying to get my health in order, but things just won't get better. My lung function is down to 20% and I am awaiting a bi-lateral lung transplant. Although I was in denial of needing this for years, it has finally sunk in. Now I'm at a point that I'm actually anticipating the transplant, as I feel horrible every day now. Although I'm doing poorly physically, I've kept my spirits up mentally.

Most of us in this site either have CF, or know someone close with the disease. Hopefully we can all try and see the strength that it has given us, instead of feeling like it's a disablity. We've gone through some hard times in life, that have made us stronger people. We all have an added wisdom in life from the experiences we've had. Instead of dwelling on feeling physically ill, as I did for many years... I now want to use the strength I've gained from this illness to try and reach out to others. Many people out there just need someone to talk to, some to share their pain with. I hope that for those of you reading this, that may be in the negative slump I was once in... can reach inside yourself and realize that life can be better... if you allow it. Take away all the pain, and turn it into a positive lesson. Something that will make you feel proud and strong to have gone through so much. Many people don't have this opportunity in life. Especially those of us that will be getting a transplant some day. This gives us the chance to start life over again. To see the world through a body that can breathe clearly... something we all wish we could experience.

Personally, I know that for myself... once I get the transplant, I will be grateful to be alive. I vow to myself and all you people out there, that my life will be dedicated to trying to help others cope with this illness. There isn't much available for CF patients in terms of social, psychological and emotional help with dealing with Cystic Fibrosis. That doesn't have to be. We can all try and help one another in our times of need. Right now is a very hard time for me, I am just asked for a few of you to reach out to me. It's very gratifying when you can try and listen to someone else... allow them to vent to you. Although you may know personally know me... know that I am hear to listen if you would like to share your story. I would also be happy to share more of mine.

Well, I won't bore you all to death with too many words... hopefully some of you actually read to this point. It would be great to hear from someone, I respond to all of my emails... but when I'm a little sicker, it may take a little longer. I wish the best of health to all of you, with CF and without. Endulge in the good in life, not the bad. The key to happiness for me, was making peace with myself and accepting the life I've been given. I realized that all the hate I felt, the resentment and anger where actually myself feeling unhappy because of how my life was. The only way to change this, is to change the way you percieve life. If you think positive, you will feel much better about yourself and those around you. I hope this messsage didn't sound too preachy. My intent is to try and reach out to those that seem unreachable.

I can be reached at "farbeyond1@cox.net" Please put CYSTIC FIBROSIS in the subject line... Thanks )

Take care,
Mike
 

julie

New member
Mike, I'm having a bit of a difficult time understanding why you have stated a "want to vent" thread on almost every forum and I believe this is you second one on this site? I don't know why it is bothering me, but i've sat idly by for the last few days and then seeing this brand new topic has me wondering what the underlying issue is.
 

farbeyond1

New member
Hi Julie,

I'm not quite sure it's bothering you either. I cannot understand you're need to question why someone going through a traumatic time right now feels the need to express himself on a website dedicated to people with the same illness. We all need to vent at certain times, and some of us have a hard time doing so. My purpose was to try and help someone open up and let out some of the frustration they may be feeling with their illness. I am currently sitting in front of my computer, awaiting a phone call that will tell me I need to come down for a lung transplant. This is quite stressful for me. The reality is, I am high on the list... the doctors did tell me to be prepared, which means it is coming soon. This also means that I am sitting here waiting for a call that will lead me to the hospital for what may be the last few days of my life. This transplant is successful in many cases, but in others it isn't. I cannot be sure of my outcome until I get through the surgery... or don't. My judgement may be a little clouded from my emotions running on overdrive right now, my intention wasn't to offend anyone. I'm sorry if I sound a little harsh, but it's made me wonder what your underlying issue is... being a person that feels the need to send such a message? I understand that you are a wife of someone living with this illness... but you do not have this illness, so I guess this is where I am suppose to overcompensate, and understand why you cannot comprehend my messge. Whatever the case is, I hope I cleared things up for you. I wish the best of luck to you and your husband.

Take care,
Mike
 

julie

New member
Mike, I didn't want to offend you, I was just curious as to why this similar topic was posted everywhere. I understand frustration, of course not yours exactly but I think everyone has them, some worse than others, some days worse than others. I was just curious that's all. By no means was I trying to infer that you shoudn't be posting how you feel.

I have read you posts, the last time you were here which was quite a few months ago and these most recent posts. I can only help that everything works out for you as you are hoping! Take care,
 
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