Like you, growing up I always thought I wanted kids. Even though CF really didn't affect me then, everyone told me I couldn't have kids - I think that made me want to have them even more.
Up to my late 20's I still thought I wanted kids, then, I babysat my brothers two. It was then that I realized I wasn't built to be a parent. My decision making skills lacked, I wasn't mature enough, and my mind alone (forget my body) was overwhelmed with it all.
(I believe now that I wanted to experience pregnancy more than I actually wanted kids).
Now that I'm older, and sicker, I'm glad I never had kids (planned or unplanned). I have the maturity now (for the most part), but my body isn't the same.
I hear from many that it's the care of the child that tempts the CFer in not caring for themselves like they should, and therefore their health starts to suffer.
Some can do it all, some have a FANTASTIC family structure (including extended family) which are willing and able to help in times of need. Though, I think this is the exception and not the rule.
I had a hysterectomy a few years ago and it has had no emotional impact on me and my decision. At (almost) 42 years old, I'm glad I don't have kids to add to my "to do" list.
You have to be realistic about:
<u>your health</u> - how discipled are you - will you keep up your treatment routine no matter the cost?, CF only gets worse, not better, how often will you be away from home in the hospital;
<u>your marriage </u>- is it strong or lacking? Some believe a baby will make a bad marriage better - this is a lie, it only adds more stress to the bad marriage;
<u>your support system (family)</u>- are they flakes? If they offer to help, will they follow through?, are they physically able to help, are they willing to help.
<i><b>Bottom line - illness or not - babies aren't for everyone, no matter what society/friends/family think. You must make <u>your own </u>decision, for your own reasons. If you realize kids aren't for you (for whatever reason), then YOU are making a wise decision and shouldn't feel shame for it - instead feel proud for making the right decision.</b></i>
Up to my late 20's I still thought I wanted kids, then, I babysat my brothers two. It was then that I realized I wasn't built to be a parent. My decision making skills lacked, I wasn't mature enough, and my mind alone (forget my body) was overwhelmed with it all.
(I believe now that I wanted to experience pregnancy more than I actually wanted kids).
Now that I'm older, and sicker, I'm glad I never had kids (planned or unplanned). I have the maturity now (for the most part), but my body isn't the same.
I hear from many that it's the care of the child that tempts the CFer in not caring for themselves like they should, and therefore their health starts to suffer.
Some can do it all, some have a FANTASTIC family structure (including extended family) which are willing and able to help in times of need. Though, I think this is the exception and not the rule.
I had a hysterectomy a few years ago and it has had no emotional impact on me and my decision. At (almost) 42 years old, I'm glad I don't have kids to add to my "to do" list.
You have to be realistic about:
<u>your health</u> - how discipled are you - will you keep up your treatment routine no matter the cost?, CF only gets worse, not better, how often will you be away from home in the hospital;
<u>your marriage </u>- is it strong or lacking? Some believe a baby will make a bad marriage better - this is a lie, it only adds more stress to the bad marriage;
<u>your support system (family)</u>- are they flakes? If they offer to help, will they follow through?, are they physically able to help, are they willing to help.
<i><b>Bottom line - illness or not - babies aren't for everyone, no matter what society/friends/family think. You must make <u>your own </u>decision, for your own reasons. If you realize kids aren't for you (for whatever reason), then YOU are making a wise decision and shouldn't feel shame for it - instead feel proud for making the right decision.</b></i>