Are you a (custodial) Step-Parent

T

Terry

Guest
pjspiegle -

She has been involved in Riss's appointments lately. I thought that would be a good place to start myself, in fact the last time Riss was hospitalized she stayed the night. It seems we are actually having more trouble since. I don't know if she takes the good things the Drs. are saying to mean that she is not so sick anymore, because of the improvement in Riss's health in the last 2 years. But I can't get her to understand that she is doing better because she is getting ALL her treatments, whether she is "sick" or not. If Marissa is "sick" we don't have a problem getting them to do her meds.

I don't know if she is in denial. She and her husband (who does seem to be more with it than she is) just don't think things are as important as they are. I'm trying to nicely come up with the words to expain her mom in a way that you could understand, it is very difficult, I don't want to place on the web the entire scenario. She doesn't have a whole lot of common sense. I mean, she is great for laughs, like she belongs co-starring with Gilligan.

I am not so patient, it's just that Marissa is always there, and I bite my tongue to keep from scaring or scarring her. It does make me very angry that they take this so lightly, and it is at Marissa's expense. I really don't think it is all that hard to do her treatments.



Ratatosk -

I probably would not be having such a hard time if they were being as deliberate as that. But the sentiment seems the same. I think that they just don't get that the kids are "sick" all the time. That we are just trying to prevent any more damage to their lungs, etc. But they see Riss running and jumping with the other kids and not having any trouble, so she is not sick.

I'm stressing because they want to take her to Florida in April to see her grandfather, and she really wants to go, but we have already been told that they don't think they can take all her equipment with them. Her dad told them he would not let her go if they didn't, but we know even if it goes on the plane, she won't be doing most of what she is supposed to, unless she gets "sick." At which point her father and I won't be there in the evening to play catch up.
 
T

Terry

Guest
pjspiegle -

She has been involved in Riss's appointments lately. I thought that would be a good place to start myself, in fact the last time Riss was hospitalized she stayed the night. It seems we are actually having more trouble since. I don't know if she takes the good things the Drs. are saying to mean that she is not so sick anymore, because of the improvement in Riss's health in the last 2 years. But I can't get her to understand that she is doing better because she is getting ALL her treatments, whether she is "sick" or not. If Marissa is "sick" we don't have a problem getting them to do her meds.

I don't know if she is in denial. She and her husband (who does seem to be more with it than she is) just don't think things are as important as they are. I'm trying to nicely come up with the words to expain her mom in a way that you could understand, it is very difficult, I don't want to place on the web the entire scenario. She doesn't have a whole lot of common sense. I mean, she is great for laughs, like she belongs co-starring with Gilligan.

I am not so patient, it's just that Marissa is always there, and I bite my tongue to keep from scaring or scarring her. It does make me very angry that they take this so lightly, and it is at Marissa's expense. I really don't think it is all that hard to do her treatments.



Ratatosk -

I probably would not be having such a hard time if they were being as deliberate as that. But the sentiment seems the same. I think that they just don't get that the kids are "sick" all the time. That we are just trying to prevent any more damage to their lungs, etc. But they see Riss running and jumping with the other kids and not having any trouble, so she is not sick.

I'm stressing because they want to take her to Florida in April to see her grandfather, and she really wants to go, but we have already been told that they don't think they can take all her equipment with them. Her dad told them he would not let her go if they didn't, but we know even if it goes on the plane, she won't be doing most of what she is supposed to, unless she gets "sick." At which point her father and I won't be there in the evening to play catch up.
 
T

Terry

Guest
pjspiegle -

She has been involved in Riss's appointments lately. I thought that would be a good place to start myself, in fact the last time Riss was hospitalized she stayed the night. It seems we are actually having more trouble since. I don't know if she takes the good things the Drs. are saying to mean that she is not so sick anymore, because of the improvement in Riss's health in the last 2 years. But I can't get her to understand that she is doing better because she is getting ALL her treatments, whether she is "sick" or not. If Marissa is "sick" we don't have a problem getting them to do her meds.

I don't know if she is in denial. She and her husband (who does seem to be more with it than she is) just don't think things are as important as they are. I'm trying to nicely come up with the words to expain her mom in a way that you could understand, it is very difficult, I don't want to place on the web the entire scenario. She doesn't have a whole lot of common sense. I mean, she is great for laughs, like she belongs co-starring with Gilligan.

I am not so patient, it's just that Marissa is always there, and I bite my tongue to keep from scaring or scarring her. It does make me very angry that they take this so lightly, and it is at Marissa's expense. I really don't think it is all that hard to do her treatments.



Ratatosk -

I probably would not be having such a hard time if they were being as deliberate as that. But the sentiment seems the same. I think that they just don't get that the kids are "sick" all the time. That we are just trying to prevent any more damage to their lungs, etc. But they see Riss running and jumping with the other kids and not having any trouble, so she is not sick.

I'm stressing because they want to take her to Florida in April to see her grandfather, and she really wants to go, but we have already been told that they don't think they can take all her equipment with them. Her dad told them he would not let her go if they didn't, but we know even if it goes on the plane, she won't be doing most of what she is supposed to, unless she gets "sick." At which point her father and I won't be there in the evening to play catch up.
 
T

Terry

Guest
pjspiegle -

She has been involved in Riss's appointments lately. I thought that would be a good place to start myself, in fact the last time Riss was hospitalized she stayed the night. It seems we are actually having more trouble since. I don't know if she takes the good things the Drs. are saying to mean that she is not so sick anymore, because of the improvement in Riss's health in the last 2 years. But I can't get her to understand that she is doing better because she is getting ALL her treatments, whether she is "sick" or not. If Marissa is "sick" we don't have a problem getting them to do her meds.

I don't know if she is in denial. She and her husband (who does seem to be more with it than she is) just don't think things are as important as they are. I'm trying to nicely come up with the words to expain her mom in a way that you could understand, it is very difficult, I don't want to place on the web the entire scenario. She doesn't have a whole lot of common sense. I mean, she is great for laughs, like she belongs co-starring with Gilligan.

I am not so patient, it's just that Marissa is always there, and I bite my tongue to keep from scaring or scarring her. It does make me very angry that they take this so lightly, and it is at Marissa's expense. I really don't think it is all that hard to do her treatments.



Ratatosk -

I probably would not be having such a hard time if they were being as deliberate as that. But the sentiment seems the same. I think that they just don't get that the kids are "sick" all the time. That we are just trying to prevent any more damage to their lungs, etc. But they see Riss running and jumping with the other kids and not having any trouble, so she is not sick.

I'm stressing because they want to take her to Florida in April to see her grandfather, and she really wants to go, but we have already been told that they don't think they can take all her equipment with them. Her dad told them he would not let her go if they didn't, but we know even if it goes on the plane, she won't be doing most of what she is supposed to, unless she gets "sick." At which point her father and I won't be there in the evening to play catch up.
 
T

Terry

Guest
pjspiegle -
<br />
<br />She has been involved in Riss's appointments lately. I thought that would be a good place to start myself, in fact the last time Riss was hospitalized she stayed the night. It seems we are actually having more trouble since. I don't know if she takes the good things the Drs. are saying to mean that she is not so sick anymore, because of the improvement in Riss's health in the last 2 years. But I can't get her to understand that she is doing better because she is getting ALL her treatments, whether she is "sick" or not. If Marissa is "sick" we don't have a problem getting them to do her meds.
<br />
<br />I don't know if she is in denial. She and her husband (who does seem to be more with it than she is) just don't think things are as important as they are. I'm trying to nicely come up with the words to expain her mom in a way that you could understand, it is very difficult, I don't want to place on the web the entire scenario. She doesn't have a whole lot of common sense. I mean, she is great for laughs, like she belongs co-starring with Gilligan.
<br />
<br />I am not so patient, it's just that Marissa is always there, and I bite my tongue to keep from scaring or scarring her. It does make me very angry that they take this so lightly, and it is at Marissa's expense. I really don't think it is all that hard to do her treatments.
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Ratatosk -
<br />
<br />I probably would not be having such a hard time if they were being as deliberate as that. But the sentiment seems the same. I think that they just don't get that the kids are "sick" all the time. That we are just trying to prevent any more damage to their lungs, etc. But they see Riss running and jumping with the other kids and not having any trouble, so she is not sick.
<br />
<br />I'm stressing because they want to take her to Florida in April to see her grandfather, and she really wants to go, but we have already been told that they don't think they can take all her equipment with them. Her dad told them he would not let her go if they didn't, but we know even if it goes on the plane, she won't be doing most of what she is supposed to, unless she gets "sick." At which point her father and I won't be there in the evening to play catch up.
<br />
<br />
 
P

pjspiegle

New member
Wow, you really are better than you give yourself credit! You are putting the child before yourself, how commendable!
Would the grandfather be able or willing to make sure she gets her treatments? I wish I had some great idea of how you could get her to understand the damage that it causes, not all damage is reversible, and the importance of preventing sickness. Once these guys get into crisis sick, it is not always reversible and can take literally months or more to get them back to baseline and sometimes you just end up giving up some of that precious baseline.
The sadest part is that the child is the one that ends up paying the price.
I will pray for you and the situation.
 
P

pjspiegle

New member
Wow, you really are better than you give yourself credit! You are putting the child before yourself, how commendable!
Would the grandfather be able or willing to make sure she gets her treatments? I wish I had some great idea of how you could get her to understand the damage that it causes, not all damage is reversible, and the importance of preventing sickness. Once these guys get into crisis sick, it is not always reversible and can take literally months or more to get them back to baseline and sometimes you just end up giving up some of that precious baseline.
The sadest part is that the child is the one that ends up paying the price.
I will pray for you and the situation.
 
P

pjspiegle

New member
Wow, you really are better than you give yourself credit! You are putting the child before yourself, how commendable!
Would the grandfather be able or willing to make sure she gets her treatments? I wish I had some great idea of how you could get her to understand the damage that it causes, not all damage is reversible, and the importance of preventing sickness. Once these guys get into crisis sick, it is not always reversible and can take literally months or more to get them back to baseline and sometimes you just end up giving up some of that precious baseline.
The sadest part is that the child is the one that ends up paying the price.
I will pray for you and the situation.
 
P

pjspiegle

New member
Wow, you really are better than you give yourself credit! You are putting the child before yourself, how commendable!
Would the grandfather be able or willing to make sure she gets her treatments? I wish I had some great idea of how you could get her to understand the damage that it causes, not all damage is reversible, and the importance of preventing sickness. Once these guys get into crisis sick, it is not always reversible and can take literally months or more to get them back to baseline and sometimes you just end up giving up some of that precious baseline.
The sadest part is that the child is the one that ends up paying the price.
I will pray for you and the situation.
 
P

pjspiegle

New member
Wow, you really are better than you give yourself credit! You are putting the child before yourself, how commendable!
<br />Would the grandfather be able or willing to make sure she gets her treatments? I wish I had some great idea of how you could get her to understand the damage that it causes, not all damage is reversible, and the importance of preventing sickness. Once these guys get into crisis sick, it is not always reversible and can take literally months or more to get them back to baseline and sometimes you just end up giving up some of that precious baseline.
<br />The sadest part is that the child is the one that ends up paying the price.
<br />I will pray for you and the situation.
 
T

Terry

Guest
JORDYSMOM -

Dad is trying to put his foot down, we are just at a bad place in the road right now. He is very stern in his directions, but following through with the "or else" would be difficult on Riss.

I don't know exactly how to explain the situation. Her Mom does love her, and would be devastated if anything were to happen to her, but just doesn't grasp how important doing her meds is even though she is not "sick." I think she has a lot of guilt, and tries to be more of a friend to her than a mother. Riss is in control more with her mom. We have had battles in the past over her giving Riss whole ziploc bags of candy, and we have told her that is bad for Riss, but if she asks for it, she gets it. We get around that now by searching what she brings in the house and getting rid of the candy. We still don't know why she doesn't just give her a piece of candy...


pjspiegle -

Thank you.

I am going to suggest that we mail a med schedule to grandfather, describing to him that no matter how healthy she looks, the schedule must be kept or she won't stay healthy. Hopefully that would help to have another adult knowing what she is supposed to be doing.
 
T

Terry

Guest
JORDYSMOM -

Dad is trying to put his foot down, we are just at a bad place in the road right now. He is very stern in his directions, but following through with the "or else" would be difficult on Riss.

I don't know exactly how to explain the situation. Her Mom does love her, and would be devastated if anything were to happen to her, but just doesn't grasp how important doing her meds is even though she is not "sick." I think she has a lot of guilt, and tries to be more of a friend to her than a mother. Riss is in control more with her mom. We have had battles in the past over her giving Riss whole ziploc bags of candy, and we have told her that is bad for Riss, but if she asks for it, she gets it. We get around that now by searching what she brings in the house and getting rid of the candy. We still don't know why she doesn't just give her a piece of candy...


pjspiegle -

Thank you.

I am going to suggest that we mail a med schedule to grandfather, describing to him that no matter how healthy she looks, the schedule must be kept or she won't stay healthy. Hopefully that would help to have another adult knowing what she is supposed to be doing.
 
T

Terry

Guest
JORDYSMOM -

Dad is trying to put his foot down, we are just at a bad place in the road right now. He is very stern in his directions, but following through with the "or else" would be difficult on Riss.

I don't know exactly how to explain the situation. Her Mom does love her, and would be devastated if anything were to happen to her, but just doesn't grasp how important doing her meds is even though she is not "sick." I think she has a lot of guilt, and tries to be more of a friend to her than a mother. Riss is in control more with her mom. We have had battles in the past over her giving Riss whole ziploc bags of candy, and we have told her that is bad for Riss, but if she asks for it, she gets it. We get around that now by searching what she brings in the house and getting rid of the candy. We still don't know why she doesn't just give her a piece of candy...


pjspiegle -

Thank you.

I am going to suggest that we mail a med schedule to grandfather, describing to him that no matter how healthy she looks, the schedule must be kept or she won't stay healthy. Hopefully that would help to have another adult knowing what she is supposed to be doing.
 
T

Terry

Guest
JORDYSMOM -

Dad is trying to put his foot down, we are just at a bad place in the road right now. He is very stern in his directions, but following through with the "or else" would be difficult on Riss.

I don't know exactly how to explain the situation. Her Mom does love her, and would be devastated if anything were to happen to her, but just doesn't grasp how important doing her meds is even though she is not "sick." I think she has a lot of guilt, and tries to be more of a friend to her than a mother. Riss is in control more with her mom. We have had battles in the past over her giving Riss whole ziploc bags of candy, and we have told her that is bad for Riss, but if she asks for it, she gets it. We get around that now by searching what she brings in the house and getting rid of the candy. We still don't know why she doesn't just give her a piece of candy...


pjspiegle -

Thank you.

I am going to suggest that we mail a med schedule to grandfather, describing to him that no matter how healthy she looks, the schedule must be kept or she won't stay healthy. Hopefully that would help to have another adult knowing what she is supposed to be doing.
 
T

Terry

Guest
JORDYSMOM -
<br />
<br />Dad is trying to put his foot down, we are just at a bad place in the road right now. He is very stern in his directions, but following through with the "or else" would be difficult on Riss.
<br />
<br />I don't know exactly how to explain the situation. Her Mom does love her, and would be devastated if anything were to happen to her, but just doesn't grasp how important doing her meds is even though she is not "sick." I think she has a lot of guilt, and tries to be more of a friend to her than a mother. Riss is in control more with her mom. We have had battles in the past over her giving Riss whole ziploc bags of candy, and we have told her that is bad for Riss, but if she asks for it, she gets it. We get around that now by searching what she brings in the house and getting rid of the candy. We still don't know why she doesn't just give her a piece of candy...
<br />
<br />
<br />pjspiegle -
<br />
<br />Thank you.
<br />
<br />I am going to suggest that we mail a med schedule to grandfather, describing to him that no matter how healthy she looks, the schedule must be kept or she won't stay healthy. Hopefully that would help to have another adult knowing what she is supposed to be doing.
<br />
<br />
 
J

JORDYSMOM

New member
Terry, I think I'm getting a better picture of what's happening now. I can see how it would be difficult to enforce, if the situation is what I'm thinking it may be. I bet you feel like you are stuck between a rock and a hard spot. I hope the grandfather can be of some help. Hang in there; it's obvious that you are doing the best you can with what you have to work with.

Stacey
 
J

JORDYSMOM

New member
Terry, I think I'm getting a better picture of what's happening now. I can see how it would be difficult to enforce, if the situation is what I'm thinking it may be. I bet you feel like you are stuck between a rock and a hard spot. I hope the grandfather can be of some help. Hang in there; it's obvious that you are doing the best you can with what you have to work with.

Stacey
 
J

JORDYSMOM

New member
Terry, I think I'm getting a better picture of what's happening now. I can see how it would be difficult to enforce, if the situation is what I'm thinking it may be. I bet you feel like you are stuck between a rock and a hard spot. I hope the grandfather can be of some help. Hang in there; it's obvious that you are doing the best you can with what you have to work with.

Stacey
 
J

JORDYSMOM

New member
Terry, I think I'm getting a better picture of what's happening now. I can see how it would be difficult to enforce, if the situation is what I'm thinking it may be. I bet you feel like you are stuck between a rock and a hard spot. I hope the grandfather can be of some help. Hang in there; it's obvious that you are doing the best you can with what you have to work with.

Stacey
 
J

JORDYSMOM

New member
Terry, I think I'm getting a better picture of what's happening now. I can see how it would be difficult to enforce, if the situation is what I'm thinking it may be. I bet you feel like you are stuck between a rock and a hard spot. I hope the grandfather can be of some help. Hang in there; it's obvious that you are doing the best you can with what you have to work with.
<br />
<br />Stacey
<br />
<br />
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top