At a crossroad...

Walters03 · Jan 16, 2011

Growing up my parents never tried to tell me not to try and have children, but they have always been concerned for me and my health. When I was 16 I got pregnant, and had a miscarriage! The doctors thought that it would be a great idea for me to go on birthcontrol (depo shot) and see if it would make me sterile. I only recieved on monthly shot and that was all because I wanted to have children. Now here I am at the age of 30 and still no children. My husband and I have been together for the last 10 yrs and nothing. I'm starting to give up here really.
 
 I wish everyone luck that is trying to have children.

musclemania70 · Jan 21, 2011

I'm sorry but....

Why would a parent EVER tell a child they can't do something like have children???
Why do we LIMIT our children and make them believe something that they as parents DON'T KNOW IS TRUE???

Would you ever tell a child who was born with only 1 leg that HE'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO WALK? Or a child who wears glasses that HE'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO FLY A PLANE??

I'm sorry but what kind of parent would instill such limitations to a child regardless of their health?

I'm so sorry that your parents did that to you. YOU CAN BE A GOOD PARENT SO DON'T BE DISCOURAGED. Think long and hard about it though. And if you do have children, NEVER limit your own child into believing he or she cannot do something.

musclemania70 · Jan 21, 2011

I'm sorry but....

Why would a parent EVER tell a child they can't do something like have children???
Why do we LIMIT our children and make them believe something that they as parents DON'T KNOW IS TRUE???

Would you ever tell a child who was born with only 1 leg that HE'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO WALK? Or a child who wears glasses that HE'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO FLY A PLANE??

I'm sorry but what kind of parent would instill such limitations to a child regardless of their health?

I'm so sorry that your parents did that to you. YOU CAN BE A GOOD PARENT SO DON'T BE DISCOURAGED. Think long and hard about it though. And if you do have children, NEVER limit your own child into believing he or she cannot do something.

musclemania70 · Jan 21, 2011

I'm sorry but....
 
 Why would a parent EVER tell a child they can't do something like have children???
 Why do we LIMIT our children and make them believe something that they as parents DON'T KNOW IS TRUE???
 
 Would you ever tell a child who was born with only 1 leg that HE'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO WALK? Or a child who wears glasses that HE'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO FLY A PLANE??
 
 I'm sorry but what kind of parent would instill such limitations to a child regardless of their health?
 
 I'm so sorry that your parents did that to you. YOU CAN BE A GOOD PARENT SO DON'T BE DISCOURAGED. Think long and hard about it though. And if you do have children, NEVER limit your own child into believing he or she cannot do something.

point · Jan 25, 2011

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Originally posted by: musclemania70

I'm sorry but....

Why would a parent EVER tell a child they can't do something like have children???

Why do we LIMIT our children and make them believe something that they as parents DON'T KNOW IS TRUE???

Would you ever tell a child who was born with only 1 leg that HE'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO WALK? Or a child who wears glasses that HE'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO FLY A PLANE??

I'm sorry but what kind of parent would instill such limitations to a child regardless of their health?

I'm so sorry that your parents did that to you. YOU CAN BE A GOOD PARENT SO DON'T BE DISCOURAGED. Think long and hard about it though. And if you do have children, NEVER limit your own child into believing he or she cannot do something.</end quote></div>

I think for some of us 'older' CFers (in our late 20's or well into our 30's), information wasn't fully accurate in regards to CF and reproduction in the 1980's. While male fertility was better known, women's fertility wasn't well understood. Also, during the 80's, life expectancy still wasn't much higher than late teens. So, based on that perspective, in some cases, parents didn't think they were limiting their children's options for their lives, they were being realistic and/or using the information that their doctors were providing (whether or not that info was wholly accurate).

I do agree that parents should let their kids be kids and not squash any dreams at the time b/c who knows what science and determination will bring an individual in their life. Just wanted to throw the timeframe/ what was understood at the time as a perspective if that wasn't considered be/c many of us on this section of the forums grew up in most or part of the 80's.

My parents didn't say anything for the longest time either way. It wasn't until I was in my teens (so early 90's) that my dr. reminded me, that I could in fact get pregnant and that I shouldn't assume b/c I have CF, I could not. I think there was a fair amount of mis-information out in the CF community in regards to female fertility in the 80's.

I grew up telling myself it wasn't a sure thing. With that in mind, it really wasn't until I was in my late 20's that I became more interested, serious in starting a family. We had my husband tested at that time. We weren't ready to try to start a family until I was 30. After over 2 years of trying, and w/ the help of IUI, we are now expecting our first any day now.

Good luck - and know that many of us have had similar experiences.

point · Jan 25, 2011

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Originally posted by: musclemania70

I'm sorry but....

Why would a parent EVER tell a child they can't do something like have children???

Why do we LIMIT our children and make them believe something that they as parents DON'T KNOW IS TRUE???

Would you ever tell a child who was born with only 1 leg that HE'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO WALK? Or a child who wears glasses that HE'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO FLY A PLANE??

I'm sorry but what kind of parent would instill such limitations to a child regardless of their health?

I'm so sorry that your parents did that to you. YOU CAN BE A GOOD PARENT SO DON'T BE DISCOURAGED. Think long and hard about it though. And if you do have children, NEVER limit your own child into believing he or she cannot do something.</end quote>

I think for some of us 'older' CFers (in our late 20's or well into our 30's), information wasn't fully accurate in regards to CF and reproduction in the 1980's. While male fertility was better known, women's fertility wasn't well understood. Also, during the 80's, life expectancy still wasn't much higher than late teens. So, based on that perspective, in some cases, parents didn't think they were limiting their children's options for their lives, they were being realistic and/or using the information that their doctors were providing (whether or not that info was wholly accurate).

I do agree that parents should let their kids be kids and not squash any dreams at the time b/c who knows what science and determination will bring an individual in their life. Just wanted to throw the timeframe/ what was understood at the time as a perspective if that wasn't considered be/c many of us on this section of the forums grew up in most or part of the 80's.

My parents didn't say anything for the longest time either way. It wasn't until I was in my teens (so early 90's) that my dr. reminded me, that I could in fact get pregnant and that I shouldn't assume b/c I have CF, I could not. I think there was a fair amount of mis-information out in the CF community in regards to female fertility in the 80's.

I grew up telling myself it wasn't a sure thing. With that in mind, it really wasn't until I was in my late 20's that I became more interested, serious in starting a family. We had my husband tested at that time. We weren't ready to try to start a family until I was 30. After over 2 years of trying, and w/ the help of IUI, we are now expecting our first any day now.

Good luck - and know that many of us have had similar experiences.

point · Jan 25, 2011

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Originally posted by: musclemania70
 
 I'm sorry but....
 
 
 
 Why would a parent EVER tell a child they can't do something like have children???
 
 Why do we LIMIT our children and make them believe something that they as parents DON'T KNOW IS TRUE???
 
 
 
 Would you ever tell a child who was born with only 1 leg that HE'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO WALK? Or a child who wears glasses that HE'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO FLY A PLANE??
 
 
 
 I'm sorry but what kind of parent would instill such limitations to a child regardless of their health?
 
 
 
 I'm so sorry that your parents did that to you. YOU CAN BE A GOOD PARENT SO DON'T BE DISCOURAGED. Think long and hard about it though. And if you do have children, NEVER limit your own child into believing he or she cannot do something.</end quote>
 
 
 I think for some of us 'older' CFers (in our late 20's or well into our 30's), information wasn't fully accurate in regards to CF and reproduction in the 1980's. While male fertility was better known, women's fertility wasn't well understood. Also, during the 80's, life expectancy still wasn't much higher than late teens. So, based on that perspective, in some cases, parents didn't think they were limiting their children's options for their lives, they were being realistic and/or using the information that their doctors were providing (whether or not that info was wholly accurate).
 
 I do agree that parents should let their kids be kids and not squash any dreams at the time b/c who knows what science and determination will bring an individual in their life. Just wanted to throw the timeframe/ what was understood at the time as a perspective if that wasn't considered be/c many of us on this section of the forums grew up in most or part of the 80's.
 
 My parents didn't say anything for the longest time either way. It wasn't until I was in my teens (so early 90's) that my dr. reminded me, that I could in fact get pregnant and that I shouldn't assume b/c I have CF, I could not. I think there was a fair amount of mis-information out in the CF community in regards to female fertility in the 80's.
 
 I grew up telling myself it wasn't a sure thing. With that in mind, it really wasn't until I was in my late 20's that I became more interested, serious in starting a family. We had my husband tested at that time. We weren't ready to try to start a family until I was 30. After over 2 years of trying, and w/ the help of IUI, we are now expecting our first any day now.
 
 Good luck - and know that many of us have had similar experiences.

Shine · Mar 27, 2011

Growing up, my c.f doc or mum didn't tell me that I couldn't be a mother and have children and I wasn't informed that I could either. So I guess I grew up thinking it might. I was more neutral on the subject.

When I finally got married at 24. My husband and I decided we were going to try for a baby. Unfortunately a year of ttc turned into 2 and 3 etc.

Fast forward to now and it's been 5 years and still I'm not a pregnant.

I just turned 30 last Saturday and I feel like time is running out!

I have bben telling myself not to stress over it and been working my butt of to do as much exercise as I can take. but at my last c.f clinic visit my lung function had dropped below 50% Which came as a shock to me, Since then, I have been feeling very down about this. I thought going for 2hr long walks up (some up steep hills)would make me fitter...I guess not <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0"> Now I;m rethinking that maybe it's not meant to be and that maybe we should just save up and travel.

I so want to be a mother at some stage. It really kills me when I think about all my friends who got married after us and just about all of them have kids! Like last year onr of my friends revealed she was preganant and I was like happy for her on the outside and yet inside I felt like crying <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0"> She was also the friend that said to me she wouldn't be having kids any time soon which (at the time) made me happy as I felt like we would be able to hang out more and have them round for dinner a lot more without it being pushed in my face that they had kids.

Now I feel like we're the only ones who DON"T have kids and it's really starting to make me feel crap and cry all the time <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0">

Shine · Mar 27, 2011

Growing up, my c.f doc or mum didn't tell me that I couldn't be a mother and have children and I wasn't informed that I could either. So I guess I grew up thinking it might. I was more neutral on the subject.

When I finally got married at 24. My husband and I decided we were going to try for a baby. Unfortunately a year of ttc turned into 2 and 3 etc.

Fast forward to now and it's been 5 years and still I'm not a pregnant.

I just turned 30 last Saturday and I feel like time is running out!

I have bben telling myself not to stress over it and been working my butt of to do as much exercise as I can take. but at my last c.f clinic visit my lung function had dropped below 50% Which came as a shock to me, Since then, I have been feeling very down about this. I thought going for 2hr long walks up (some up steep hills)would make me fitter...I guess not <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0"> Now I;m rethinking that maybe it's not meant to be and that maybe we should just save up and travel.

I so want to be a mother at some stage. It really kills me when I think about all my friends who got married after us and just about all of them have kids! Like last year onr of my friends revealed she was preganant and I was like happy for her on the outside and yet inside I felt like crying <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0"> She was also the friend that said to me she wouldn't be having kids any time soon which (at the time) made me happy as I felt like we would be able to hang out more and have them round for dinner a lot more without it being pushed in my face that they had kids.

Now I feel like we're the only ones who DON"T have kids and it's really starting to make me feel crap and cry all the time <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0">

Shine · Mar 27, 2011

Growing up, my c.f doc or mum didn't tell me that I couldn't be a mother and have children and I wasn't informed that I could either. So I guess I grew up thinking it might. I was more neutral on the subject.
 
 When I finally got married at 24. My husband and I decided we were going to try for a baby. Unfortunately a year of ttc turned into 2 and 3 etc.
 
 Fast forward to now and it's been 5 years and still I'm not a pregnant.
 
 I just turned 30 last Saturday and I feel like time is running out!
 
 I have bben telling myself not to stress over it and been working my butt of to do as much exercise as I can take. but at my last c.f clinic visit my lung function had dropped below 50% Which came as a shock to me, Since then, I have been feeling very down about this. I thought going for 2hr long walks up (some up steep hills)would make me fitter...I guess not <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0"> Now I;m rethinking that maybe it's not meant to be and that maybe we should just save up and travel.
 
 I so want to be a mother at some stage. It really kills me when I think about all my friends who got married after us and just about all of them have kids! Like last year onr of my friends revealed she was preganant and I was like happy for her on the outside and yet inside I felt like crying <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0"> She was also the friend that said to me she wouldn't be having kids any time soon which (at the time) made me happy as I felt like we would be able to hang out more and have them round for dinner a lot more without it being pushed in my face that they had kids.
 
 Now I feel like we're the only ones who DON"T have kids and it's really starting to make me feel crap and cry all the time <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0">

At a crossroad...

Walters03

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musclemania70

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point

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point

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Shine

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