behavior problems with cf kids

R

ReneeP

New member
I can definately sympathize with you. My 12 year old daugher (also with CF and a middle child) can send me over the edge in a heartbeat and has many times. I agree with most of the others who said that it's mostly just being a teenager and being a girl. But I do think the CF plays a role as well...at least for my daughter it does. She feels that she has to compensate for being "different". She has to work much harder than the other kids to be "cool". That makes it very difficult. She hates having to take enzymes at school. And since she was just diagnosed with CFRD and is going to have to start taking insulin at school too, I can imagine it will only get worse. That will start tomorrow. She is just starting back tomorrow after having been out of school for a hospitalization and for Christmas break.

Good luck with your daughter and if you find any good ideas on how to deal with it, please share with me... :)
 
R

ReneeP

New member
I can definately sympathize with you. My 12 year old daugher (also with CF and a middle child) can send me over the edge in a heartbeat and has many times. I agree with most of the others who said that it's mostly just being a teenager and being a girl. But I do think the CF plays a role as well...at least for my daughter it does. She feels that she has to compensate for being "different". She has to work much harder than the other kids to be "cool". That makes it very difficult. She hates having to take enzymes at school. And since she was just diagnosed with CFRD and is going to have to start taking insulin at school too, I can imagine it will only get worse. That will start tomorrow. She is just starting back tomorrow after having been out of school for a hospitalization and for Christmas break.

Good luck with your daughter and if you find any good ideas on how to deal with it, please share with me... :)
 
J

julie

New member
I can't necessairly speak from experience, but I doubt it has much to do with her CF. More likely, it has to do with the fact that she is 14 (I was WAY more than a handful at that age!!!!!!!!) and she is a girl. Us females seem to be harder to handle on most occasions in the teen years as far as smart mouthing and beating to our own drum goes.

I think a counselor might be good for both her, and you and her together.
 
J

julie

New member
I can't necessairly speak from experience, but I doubt it has much to do with her CF. More likely, it has to do with the fact that she is 14 (I was WAY more than a handful at that age!!!!!!!!) and she is a girl. Us females seem to be harder to handle on most occasions in the teen years as far as smart mouthing and beating to our own drum goes.

I think a counselor might be good for both her, and you and her together.
 
J

julie

New member
I can't necessairly speak from experience, but I doubt it has much to do with her CF. More likely, it has to do with the fact that she is 14 (I was WAY more than a handful at that age!!!!!!!!) and she is a girl. Us females seem to be harder to handle on most occasions in the teen years as far as smart mouthing and beating to our own drum goes.

I think a counselor might be good for both her, and you and her together.
 
J

julie

New member
Laurie, (Darinsmom), just for clarification, I don't think emily was trying to be rude, nor do I think it is rude. She's just stating what MANY people who have CF think at at LEAST one point in their lives. She's just trying to give wormsmom some insight.

You ought to ask your 9 year old how he feels about having a long life someday and having hopes and dreams, you might be surprised to find that *sometimes* he doesn't think it's all worth it because of his CF diagnosis. Emily is FAR from being alone in posting that people might feel that way. I know on a few occasions when he was a teen, my husband DID feel that way.

There's nothing rude about the statement, you might want to go back and re-read it to make sure you understood it correctly.
 
J

julie

New member
Laurie, (Darinsmom), just for clarification, I don't think emily was trying to be rude, nor do I think it is rude. She's just stating what MANY people who have CF think at at LEAST one point in their lives. She's just trying to give wormsmom some insight.

You ought to ask your 9 year old how he feels about having a long life someday and having hopes and dreams, you might be surprised to find that *sometimes* he doesn't think it's all worth it because of his CF diagnosis. Emily is FAR from being alone in posting that people might feel that way. I know on a few occasions when he was a teen, my husband DID feel that way.

There's nothing rude about the statement, you might want to go back and re-read it to make sure you understood it correctly.
 
J

julie

New member
Laurie, (Darinsmom), just for clarification, I don't think emily was trying to be rude, nor do I think it is rude. She's just stating what MANY people who have CF think at at LEAST one point in their lives. She's just trying to give wormsmom some insight.

You ought to ask your 9 year old how he feels about having a long life someday and having hopes and dreams, you might be surprised to find that *sometimes* he doesn't think it's all worth it because of his CF diagnosis. Emily is FAR from being alone in posting that people might feel that way. I know on a few occasions when he was a teen, my husband DID feel that way.

There's nothing rude about the statement, you might want to go back and re-read it to make sure you understood it correctly.
 
J

JennifersHope

New member
I don't think it is exclusively one or the other... Teenage girls are really tough to begin with.. (for the most part) They are extremly insecure (for the most part) trying really hard to fit in. Kids are incredible cruel to one another and any difference is really hard.. They are Hormonal.. as they are going through changes in their bodies.. and the peer pressure is incredible......

If I could tell you, (but I can't) the stories that I see in 14 year old girls that come to the emergency room.. your head would spin.. and in all fairness boys as well.. to me 14 is still a baby but that really isn't the case...


I think a combo of having the normal teenage insecurities, fears, hormones and attitude of looking for independence combined with a CF child and all the pressures, fears, and things you have to do that are in direct contrast with fitting and being cool can really exacerbate things..

My advice would be not to let her get away with anything because she has CF... I would use the same discipline on all my kids.. The last thing a kid needs, especially in this day in age where a good percentage of CFers are living longer and longer is.. that they need to act and behave like the rest of the world.. You mess up.. you have attitudes, their is consequences etc.......

I think it would be a sad mistake ( not that that is what you are doing at all) but to make allowances for CF where behavior is concerned.. In other areas, yes, a little grace can go a long way..

Anyway, my half cent for all it is worth...

Good luck... Raising mature, responsible adults these days is a daunting challenge..... but one I believe is still possible..

Jennifer
 
J

JennifersHope

New member
I don't think it is exclusively one or the other... Teenage girls are really tough to begin with.. (for the most part) They are extremly insecure (for the most part) trying really hard to fit in. Kids are incredible cruel to one another and any difference is really hard.. They are Hormonal.. as they are going through changes in their bodies.. and the peer pressure is incredible......

If I could tell you, (but I can't) the stories that I see in 14 year old girls that come to the emergency room.. your head would spin.. and in all fairness boys as well.. to me 14 is still a baby but that really isn't the case...


I think a combo of having the normal teenage insecurities, fears, hormones and attitude of looking for independence combined with a CF child and all the pressures, fears, and things you have to do that are in direct contrast with fitting and being cool can really exacerbate things..

My advice would be not to let her get away with anything because she has CF... I would use the same discipline on all my kids.. The last thing a kid needs, especially in this day in age where a good percentage of CFers are living longer and longer is.. that they need to act and behave like the rest of the world.. You mess up.. you have attitudes, their is consequences etc.......

I think it would be a sad mistake ( not that that is what you are doing at all) but to make allowances for CF where behavior is concerned.. In other areas, yes, a little grace can go a long way..

Anyway, my half cent for all it is worth...

Good luck... Raising mature, responsible adults these days is a daunting challenge..... but one I believe is still possible..

Jennifer
 
J

JennifersHope

New member
I don't think it is exclusively one or the other... Teenage girls are really tough to begin with.. (for the most part) They are extremly insecure (for the most part) trying really hard to fit in. Kids are incredible cruel to one another and any difference is really hard.. They are Hormonal.. as they are going through changes in their bodies.. and the peer pressure is incredible......

If I could tell you, (but I can't) the stories that I see in 14 year old girls that come to the emergency room.. your head would spin.. and in all fairness boys as well.. to me 14 is still a baby but that really isn't the case...


I think a combo of having the normal teenage insecurities, fears, hormones and attitude of looking for independence combined with a CF child and all the pressures, fears, and things you have to do that are in direct contrast with fitting and being cool can really exacerbate things..

My advice would be not to let her get away with anything because she has CF... I would use the same discipline on all my kids.. The last thing a kid needs, especially in this day in age where a good percentage of CFers are living longer and longer is.. that they need to act and behave like the rest of the world.. You mess up.. you have attitudes, their is consequences etc.......

I think it would be a sad mistake ( not that that is what you are doing at all) but to make allowances for CF where behavior is concerned.. In other areas, yes, a little grace can go a long way..

Anyway, my half cent for all it is worth...

Good luck... Raising mature, responsible adults these days is a daunting challenge..... but one I believe is still possible..

Jennifer
 
I

izemmom

New member
I am not a parent of teenagers, my kids are little. So, I can't weigh in on the cf or just teen stuff. I do agree (being a teacher) that girls are more difficult in general than boys - Lucky me, I got two! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0"> My vote in this situation is that it boils down to personality, not cf, birth order, treatment by parents, etc... My own cfer is 10x more difficult than her sister ever was. She is mischievious, demanding, boisterous and phycisally active to the point that my hair is turning gray!!!! I am living in fear of her terrible twos to say nothing of adolescence. I realize that this doesn't really help your situation in any way...but you might try usig my mantra;"Someday all this determination and spunk is going to pay off..." LOL!

Good luck.
 
I

izemmom

New member
I am not a parent of teenagers, my kids are little. So, I can't weigh in on the cf or just teen stuff. I do agree (being a teacher) that girls are more difficult in general than boys - Lucky me, I got two! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0"> My vote in this situation is that it boils down to personality, not cf, birth order, treatment by parents, etc... My own cfer is 10x more difficult than her sister ever was. She is mischievious, demanding, boisterous and phycisally active to the point that my hair is turning gray!!!! I am living in fear of her terrible twos to say nothing of adolescence. I realize that this doesn't really help your situation in any way...but you might try usig my mantra;"Someday all this determination and spunk is going to pay off..." LOL!

Good luck.
 
I

izemmom

New member
I am not a parent of teenagers, my kids are little. So, I can't weigh in on the cf or just teen stuff. I do agree (being a teacher) that girls are more difficult in general than boys - Lucky me, I got two! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0"> My vote in this situation is that it boils down to personality, not cf, birth order, treatment by parents, etc... My own cfer is 10x more difficult than her sister ever was. She is mischievious, demanding, boisterous and phycisally active to the point that my hair is turning gray!!!! I am living in fear of her terrible twos to say nothing of adolescence. I realize that this doesn't really help your situation in any way...but you might try usig my mantra;"Someday all this determination and spunk is going to pay off..." LOL!

Good luck.
 
2

2perfectboys

Guest
I to Julie, don't think Emily's statement was in anyway rude.. I would say this has been a thought of many of CFers at some time in their lifes.
 
2

2perfectboys

Guest
I to Julie, don't think Emily's statement was in anyway rude.. I would say this has been a thought of many of CFers at some time in their lifes.
 
2

2perfectboys

Guest
I to Julie, don't think Emily's statement was in anyway rude.. I would say this has been a thought of many of CFers at some time in their lifes.
 
E

Emily65Roses

New member
Yep, no intent to be rude. I've thought that at one time or another, most CFers have. Especially when they're being attitude-y little brats. Haha. It's a test of authority, as well as a questioning about what work is really worth it. Anyway, like Julie said, most CFers have wondered it at one time or another, that's why I put it in quotes.
 
E

Emily65Roses

New member
Yep, no intent to be rude. I've thought that at one time or another, most CFers have. Especially when they're being attitude-y little brats. Haha. It's a test of authority, as well as a questioning about what work is really worth it. Anyway, like Julie said, most CFers have wondered it at one time or another, that's why I put it in quotes.
 
E

Emily65Roses

New member
Yep, no intent to be rude. I've thought that at one time or another, most CFers have. Especially when they're being attitude-y little brats. Haha. It's a test of authority, as well as a questioning about what work is really worth it. Anyway, like Julie said, most CFers have wondered it at one time or another, that's why I put it in quotes.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top