I too can relate to your feelings about borrowed time and stuff.
Here's something I wrote awhile back as I was reflecting on my own
thoughts and feelings about being married, having CF, and looking
toward the future. Part of this will be appearing in my book
entitled "Dear Future Husband" which should be available
by the end of the year.<br>
<br>
I hope you can relate to part of it. If you'd like to read more of
what I've written, you can always check out my blog:
http://livingwellwithCF.blogspot.com<br>
<br>
<h2>Connecting on Every Level</h2>
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<blockquote>Whatever our souls are made of,<br>
his and mine are the same. <span style=" font-style: italic;"><br>
--Emi<span style=" font-style: italic;">ly
Bronte</blockquote>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
Saturday night we went out to dinner with friends. We've known this
couple for slightly less than a year, and don't get to spend much
one-on-one time with either of them, so much of our conversation
was aimed at getting to know them a bit better. Kate and Joel got
married just two weeks after we did, so they are very much on the
same "newlywed" page that Brad and I are. My favorite
part of the conversation that evening was hearing Joel tell his
version of their engagement story. His grin was unmistakable and
his eyes shone brightly even in the dim light of the restaurant, as
he described the events that led up to his proposal to Kate.<br>
<br>
Brad and I also told our story about our engagement. Hearing Brad
tell it always makes me smile and laugh a bit. Mostly I laugh at
myself when he gets to the part about how we would have been
engaged a day sooner if I had only cut my midterm studying short. I
also laugh when he describes how my jaw dropped when I realized
that he was down on one knee actually proposing to me. Brad still
teases me that I never said "yes" but instead managed to
say "yeah."<br>
<br>
God has been very good to us throughout our entire relationship. We
have endured some very heart-wrenching trials, but more
importantly, we have rejoiced in God's provision and His goodness.
Brad is a tremendous source of strength and support for me, and
this is because he constantly looks to our Heavenly Father for
direction and wisdom. Brad teaches me a lot about how to be less of
a control freak, and how to just sit still sometimes.<br>
<br>
When we were dating, something we often discussed is that it's not
enough for both of us to be Christians. Being equally yoked meant
that we had to be on relatively the same page when it came to our
personal convictions and our individual relationship with God. Our
backgrounds are so similar in almost every way, and this makes it
less daunting to fuse our individuality into common goals for our
two-person family.<br>
<br>
To be honest, I never thought I would find someone who would want
to marry me. I thought that having Cystic fibrosis was quite
possibly the biggest turn off ever. I couldn't imagine that there
was a man in the world who would be willing to sleep beside me each
night, sometimes having to listen to the wheezes and gurgles that
go along with the various lung infections. I thought that no parent
would ever want their son to marry a woman whose lifespan was
decidedly shorter than average.<br>
<br>
This just goes to show that nothing is too much of a challenge for
God. I am dumbstruck to realize that during all my self-deprecating
teenage years, God was working to prepare the heart of the man I
would one day marry. All the things I thought were undesireable
about me are the very things that have tempered my character and
molded me into the God-fearing woman that I am. God has used each
of my personal struggles to shape me into a woman who is worthy of
the godly man who wakes up beside me each morning.<br>
<br>
God must really love me to have put me where I am today.</div>
