Burial or Cremation?

J

Jade

Guest
<i>Cremation is over in a few hours....then I want a huge party.. Celebration of my life that I lived and thanking God it is over and that I am not having to deal with any crap any more</i>

<b>We think alike MyNewfy<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0"></b>

I want cremation, I need to get used to the flames<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">LOL. Seriously though I don't want normal burial cause I hate tight spaces and a lack of breathing room. A vault or niche after being turned to dust.....maybe. I'd rather have my ashes spread somewhere of value to me.....don't wanna say where yet. Also no open casket, I'm to shy to even take off a shirt in front of someone so I don't want people staring at me when I'm gone.<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-cool.gif" border="0">
 
A

anonymous

New member
These are the thoughts from a parents point of view, perhaps none that will help you but just my reasoning for my sons final resting place.

Of course, this was the most difficult decision I will ever have to make in my lifetime and one that is every parents worst nightmare. Fortunately all of us in our family had this discussion once before and we all came to the same agreement that cremation was the best for each of us. Matt made the comment that he didn't care if he was just put in an old cardboard box, he wasn't really bothered. Matt passed away in May of 2005 and because of this previous conversation, cremation was decided upon.

I had thought about this for many years and I knew that when the time came that I just couldn't bury my son in the ground. What if I moved from the area? I just couldn't have left knowing my son was in one place and I in another, that just was not going to happen. My mother was buried in the UK and we now live in Canada so the only time her grave is visited is occasionally when we visit there. Matt's urn sits on a shelf right next to my computer where I sit much of the time and it does bring me comfort to know that he is right here with me. I have discussed with my younger son that my final wish would be to have all three of us together and our ashes scattered but of course this also depends on what the future brings with a wife/children etc. If this isn't possible then have mine and Matt's ashes scattered together.

I must admit that this is one topic that is not an easy one to discuss.

Sandy
 
A

anonymous

New member
These are the thoughts from a parents point of view, perhaps none that will help you but just my reasoning for my sons final resting place.

Of course, this was the most difficult decision I will ever have to make in my lifetime and one that is every parents worst nightmare. Fortunately all of us in our family had this discussion once before and we all came to the same agreement that cremation was the best for each of us. Matt made the comment that he didn't care if he was just put in an old cardboard box, he wasn't really bothered. Matt passed away in May of 2005 and because of this previous conversation, cremation was decided upon.

I had thought about this for many years and I knew that when the time came that I just couldn't bury my son in the ground. What if I moved from the area? I just couldn't have left knowing my son was in one place and I in another, that just was not going to happen. My mother was buried in the UK and we now live in Canada so the only time her grave is visited is occasionally when we visit there. Matt's urn sits on a shelf right next to my computer where I sit much of the time and it does bring me comfort to know that he is right here with me. I have discussed with my younger son that my final wish would be to have all three of us together and our ashes scattered but of course this also depends on what the future brings with a wife/children etc. If this isn't possible then have mine and Matt's ashes scattered together.

I must admit that this is one topic that is not an easy one to discuss.

Sandy
 
A

anonymous

New member
These are the thoughts from a parents point of view, perhaps none that will help you but just my reasoning for my sons final resting place.

Of course, this was the most difficult decision I will ever have to make in my lifetime and one that is every parents worst nightmare. Fortunately all of us in our family had this discussion once before and we all came to the same agreement that cremation was the best for each of us. Matt made the comment that he didn't care if he was just put in an old cardboard box, he wasn't really bothered. Matt passed away in May of 2005 and because of this previous conversation, cremation was decided upon.

I had thought about this for many years and I knew that when the time came that I just couldn't bury my son in the ground. What if I moved from the area? I just couldn't have left knowing my son was in one place and I in another, that just was not going to happen. My mother was buried in the UK and we now live in Canada so the only time her grave is visited is occasionally when we visit there. Matt's urn sits on a shelf right next to my computer where I sit much of the time and it does bring me comfort to know that he is right here with me. I have discussed with my younger son that my final wish would be to have all three of us together and our ashes scattered but of course this also depends on what the future brings with a wife/children etc. If this isn't possible then have mine and Matt's ashes scattered together.

I must admit that this is one topic that is not an easy one to discuss.

Sandy
 
A

anonymous

New member
I'd prefer burial but I'm not against cremation. Truly, any post death rituals should be left up to those grieving. Post death rituals are to help those you've left behind grieve and say goodbye. Let's face it, your dead! What the heck do you care? It's only your living emotional self that cares and once your dead, that's history. Your soul isn't going to give a crap what happens to your body either way.

It's ok to let your family know your wishes but in the end if they decide cremation isn't what they want to do to your body - and would prefer to go visit your headstone/plot and place some flowers a few times a year - then that's what needs to be done.

Death is less about the dead and more about those we leave behind.

I know two families that each went against the wishes of the deceased. One is a wife who had her husband cremated because he wanted to be burried. He was abusive and she wanted the last laugh. The other is just simply because the family didn't "agree with" cremation.

There is more than just cremation and burial to chose from. There's the whole freezing thing (head and/or body), being shot into space, being turned into jewelry, etc. I think I've even heard of having yourself turned into, what equates to, a plastic doll. You may choose burial or cremation but somebody may want to opt for cryogenics just in case there's a CF cure in the future. Assuming of course that we can bring folks back from the dead.

Just my thoughts...

Claudette (aka CFHockeymom)
 
A

anonymous

New member
I'd prefer burial but I'm not against cremation. Truly, any post death rituals should be left up to those grieving. Post death rituals are to help those you've left behind grieve and say goodbye. Let's face it, your dead! What the heck do you care? It's only your living emotional self that cares and once your dead, that's history. Your soul isn't going to give a crap what happens to your body either way.

It's ok to let your family know your wishes but in the end if they decide cremation isn't what they want to do to your body - and would prefer to go visit your headstone/plot and place some flowers a few times a year - then that's what needs to be done.

Death is less about the dead and more about those we leave behind.

I know two families that each went against the wishes of the deceased. One is a wife who had her husband cremated because he wanted to be burried. He was abusive and she wanted the last laugh. The other is just simply because the family didn't "agree with" cremation.

There is more than just cremation and burial to chose from. There's the whole freezing thing (head and/or body), being shot into space, being turned into jewelry, etc. I think I've even heard of having yourself turned into, what equates to, a plastic doll. You may choose burial or cremation but somebody may want to opt for cryogenics just in case there's a CF cure in the future. Assuming of course that we can bring folks back from the dead.

Just my thoughts...

Claudette (aka CFHockeymom)
 
A

anonymous

New member
I'd prefer burial but I'm not against cremation. Truly, any post death rituals should be left up to those grieving. Post death rituals are to help those you've left behind grieve and say goodbye. Let's face it, your dead! What the heck do you care? It's only your living emotional self that cares and once your dead, that's history. Your soul isn't going to give a crap what happens to your body either way.

It's ok to let your family know your wishes but in the end if they decide cremation isn't what they want to do to your body - and would prefer to go visit your headstone/plot and place some flowers a few times a year - then that's what needs to be done.

Death is less about the dead and more about those we leave behind.

I know two families that each went against the wishes of the deceased. One is a wife who had her husband cremated because he wanted to be burried. He was abusive and she wanted the last laugh. The other is just simply because the family didn't "agree with" cremation.

There is more than just cremation and burial to chose from. There's the whole freezing thing (head and/or body), being shot into space, being turned into jewelry, etc. I think I've even heard of having yourself turned into, what equates to, a plastic doll. You may choose burial or cremation but somebody may want to opt for cryogenics just in case there's a CF cure in the future. Assuming of course that we can bring folks back from the dead.

Just my thoughts...

Claudette (aka CFHockeymom)
 
J

JennifersHope

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Jade</b></i>

<i>Cremation is over in a few hours....then I want a huge party.. Celebration of my life that I lived and thanking God it is over and that I am not having to deal with any crap any more</i>



<b>We think alike MyNewfy<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0"></b>


HEY THAT IS WHAT I SAID NOT NEWFY.. I want the party.. and to be cremated... I wish somehow that I could see the party.. everyone laughing and having fun... I love parties.... Anyone crying will only be because of them missing me not for me.... I will be so freaken happy in Heaven... I can't wait.

Jennifer
 
J

JennifersHope

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Jade</b></i>

<i>Cremation is over in a few hours....then I want a huge party.. Celebration of my life that I lived and thanking God it is over and that I am not having to deal with any crap any more</i>



<b>We think alike MyNewfy<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0"></b>


HEY THAT IS WHAT I SAID NOT NEWFY.. I want the party.. and to be cremated... I wish somehow that I could see the party.. everyone laughing and having fun... I love parties.... Anyone crying will only be because of them missing me not for me.... I will be so freaken happy in Heaven... I can't wait.

Jennifer
 
J

JennifersHope

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Jade</b></i>

<i>Cremation is over in a few hours....then I want a huge party.. Celebration of my life that I lived and thanking God it is over and that I am not having to deal with any crap any more</i>



<b>We think alike MyNewfy<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0"></b>


HEY THAT IS WHAT I SAID NOT NEWFY.. I want the party.. and to be cremated... I wish somehow that I could see the party.. everyone laughing and having fun... I love parties.... Anyone crying will only be because of them missing me not for me.... I will be so freaken happy in Heaven... I can't wait.

Jennifer
 
C

coltsfan715

New member
Firstly I want to thank Chris for posting that link because I was just talking about that with my mom the other day and couldn't remember where I saw it. So thank you.

As for what I want ... I want to be cremated - the jewelry thing sounds great to me too. A little beautiful piece of something to give to a handful of people that are closest to me.

I am not a big fan of being buried for some of the reasons mentioned above. The idea of becoming nothing in the ground, the bugs and the tiny box and all seem a tad daunting to me.

Also I do not know where my family will end up. My mom and step dad will most likely stay local - but there is a possibility of them moving when they retire - they have talked of Hawaii. Same with my dad - he will most likely stay local but it is not a guarantee. As for Kurt I have no idea where he would go. He says he would probably stay here - but before we met and started dating he wanted to move back up north. I would just hate to be buried and then have my nearest and dearest move away and me be left behind in a sense. Also it is a slight bit of vengefulness that I want to kick my body's @$$ for all the trouble it has dealt me. I want to be over and done with it FOR GOOD. I know when I am dead it will not matter to me, but the thought of it puts me at ease.

I guess the thought of all of it puts me at ease. Knowing that with cremation my body will not be left to the bugs, under the dirt (whatever). Knowing that if my family does leave they could take me with them. I have also told my mom and Kurt that I will make a list of people - (if I choose not to do the jewelry thing) those people will have the ability to have some of me/my ashes and they can do what they wish with them. Meaning they can take what piece of me they have and spread them somewhere that meant something to them in regards to us and our relationship. It can be a way for them to grieve and hopefully move on and share a moment with me - knowing that I will always be at "our place" if we did indeed have one. If I go the jewelry/diamond route I will have a handful of people that get a piece of me that way too.



Lindsey
 
C

coltsfan715

New member
Firstly I want to thank Chris for posting that link because I was just talking about that with my mom the other day and couldn't remember where I saw it. So thank you.

As for what I want ... I want to be cremated - the jewelry thing sounds great to me too. A little beautiful piece of something to give to a handful of people that are closest to me.

I am not a big fan of being buried for some of the reasons mentioned above. The idea of becoming nothing in the ground, the bugs and the tiny box and all seem a tad daunting to me.

Also I do not know where my family will end up. My mom and step dad will most likely stay local - but there is a possibility of them moving when they retire - they have talked of Hawaii. Same with my dad - he will most likely stay local but it is not a guarantee. As for Kurt I have no idea where he would go. He says he would probably stay here - but before we met and started dating he wanted to move back up north. I would just hate to be buried and then have my nearest and dearest move away and me be left behind in a sense. Also it is a slight bit of vengefulness that I want to kick my body's @$$ for all the trouble it has dealt me. I want to be over and done with it FOR GOOD. I know when I am dead it will not matter to me, but the thought of it puts me at ease.

I guess the thought of all of it puts me at ease. Knowing that with cremation my body will not be left to the bugs, under the dirt (whatever). Knowing that if my family does leave they could take me with them. I have also told my mom and Kurt that I will make a list of people - (if I choose not to do the jewelry thing) those people will have the ability to have some of me/my ashes and they can do what they wish with them. Meaning they can take what piece of me they have and spread them somewhere that meant something to them in regards to us and our relationship. It can be a way for them to grieve and hopefully move on and share a moment with me - knowing that I will always be at "our place" if we did indeed have one. If I go the jewelry/diamond route I will have a handful of people that get a piece of me that way too.



Lindsey
 
C

coltsfan715

New member
Firstly I want to thank Chris for posting that link because I was just talking about that with my mom the other day and couldn't remember where I saw it. So thank you.

As for what I want ... I want to be cremated - the jewelry thing sounds great to me too. A little beautiful piece of something to give to a handful of people that are closest to me.

I am not a big fan of being buried for some of the reasons mentioned above. The idea of becoming nothing in the ground, the bugs and the tiny box and all seem a tad daunting to me.

Also I do not know where my family will end up. My mom and step dad will most likely stay local - but there is a possibility of them moving when they retire - they have talked of Hawaii. Same with my dad - he will most likely stay local but it is not a guarantee. As for Kurt I have no idea where he would go. He says he would probably stay here - but before we met and started dating he wanted to move back up north. I would just hate to be buried and then have my nearest and dearest move away and me be left behind in a sense. Also it is a slight bit of vengefulness that I want to kick my body's @$$ for all the trouble it has dealt me. I want to be over and done with it FOR GOOD. I know when I am dead it will not matter to me, but the thought of it puts me at ease.

I guess the thought of all of it puts me at ease. Knowing that with cremation my body will not be left to the bugs, under the dirt (whatever). Knowing that if my family does leave they could take me with them. I have also told my mom and Kurt that I will make a list of people - (if I choose not to do the jewelry thing) those people will have the ability to have some of me/my ashes and they can do what they wish with them. Meaning they can take what piece of me they have and spread them somewhere that meant something to them in regards to us and our relationship. It can be a way for them to grieve and hopefully move on and share a moment with me - knowing that I will always be at "our place" if we did indeed have one. If I go the jewelry/diamond route I will have a handful of people that get a piece of me that way too.



Lindsey
 
M

momofjosh

New member
When my son's doctor told him he was in the last stages of the disease he decided to plan his own funeral. I think he felt it was the only thing left he could control. He picked out his own casket and decided to have an open casket. It was too hard for me to be there but his uncle (my brother) and his dad and stepmom were with him. So when the time came, most of the decisions were made already by Josh. We already had a plot at the cemetery that my mother had bought many years ago. So my mom and stepdad will be buried right next to Josh. I will be buried with him in the same plot someday. That is somehow comforting to me. I go to the cemetery often and like to have a place to go to and be alone and talk to my son. This is a very difficult subject to talk about but it helps to have a lot of the details worked out ahead of time.

Kathy
 
M

momofjosh

New member
When my son's doctor told him he was in the last stages of the disease he decided to plan his own funeral. I think he felt it was the only thing left he could control. He picked out his own casket and decided to have an open casket. It was too hard for me to be there but his uncle (my brother) and his dad and stepmom were with him. So when the time came, most of the decisions were made already by Josh. We already had a plot at the cemetery that my mother had bought many years ago. So my mom and stepdad will be buried right next to Josh. I will be buried with him in the same plot someday. That is somehow comforting to me. I go to the cemetery often and like to have a place to go to and be alone and talk to my son. This is a very difficult subject to talk about but it helps to have a lot of the details worked out ahead of time.

Kathy
 
M

momofjosh

New member
When my son's doctor told him he was in the last stages of the disease he decided to plan his own funeral. I think he felt it was the only thing left he could control. He picked out his own casket and decided to have an open casket. It was too hard for me to be there but his uncle (my brother) and his dad and stepmom were with him. So when the time came, most of the decisions were made already by Josh. We already had a plot at the cemetery that my mother had bought many years ago. So my mom and stepdad will be buried right next to Josh. I will be buried with him in the same plot someday. That is somehow comforting to me. I go to the cemetery often and like to have a place to go to and be alone and talk to my son. This is a very difficult subject to talk about but it helps to have a lot of the details worked out ahead of time.

Kathy
 
S

Seana30

New member
I am doing the same thing as Chris and Lindsey. I am going to be cremated, then turned into a diamond.

I had brought up the LifeGem issue before, but it seemed most thought it was "morbid". I think it is a wonderful idea.

If my family wants to remember me, all they have to do is pull out that beautiful diamond instead of going to a cemetary.

Seana
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top