Hi Carol H, you did not mention how old your grandson is. ADHD is tough on the kid and the parents. Kids typically are not timid, they are actually quite the opposite. They are hyper, have severe difficulty with concentration and paying attention and are impulsive. They act like they run by motor. They never stop. They have difficulty making and keeping friends and just cannot sit still. Sleep is also usually affected and they have a lot of difficulty falling or staying asleep.
these are just some if the things you would definetly see.
In order to be diagnoised the child must display the symptons in atleast 2 settings, (home and school). There are assessment forms that are filled out by the parents and the teacher if you think these behaviors are appearing in your grandson. But if the peditrician does not feel he has it, she may not decide to give you the forms to fill out.
it does sound like he has a good bit of anxiety, and who could blame him. It sounds like he went through a very scary experience 5 months ago. Kids with ADHD are thrill seekers, it is like they have no fear.
Since he has only seen the child life specialist once, it nay be worth giving it a chance. Play therapy is amazing for kids, and he may feel more comfortable talking while playing rather than sitting in a chair answering questions. I think once the child life specialist spends some time with him, they will be able to help you all find out the root of his problem and help him.
talk with the specialist and see if this is something she is qualified to do. If not get a referal to a child psychologist who specialuzes in play therapy.
be careful with teachers trying to diagnois your grandchild. Some of them push for you to put them on medication because it is easier for them. My son must be on medication, and a few yesrs ago his teacher called stating i needed to take him back to the doctors to have his medication increased. He was doing great at home. I told her he is on medication to benefit him and not us, and she wanted a zombie in her class, and thst was not going to happen.
i hope you soon get the answers you need and i wish the best for your grandson
good luck, jshet