Today I write because its at this moment, is when i truely truely hate this disease. I can handle it taking its shots at me to make me sick, and kill me, whatever. But now it threatens the very thing I live for. Love. I cant stand the thought of losing someone over this disease. The thought two people in love cant be together for fear of making the other sick. I can handle dying for love, but I cant handle being the cause of it to someone I love. The unfairness and tragedy in this kills me. The anger of the unfairness makes me not care about anything else in the world. The fact I cant declare revenge on something that doesnt physically exist, makes it harder to accept. The feeling of being lost and hopeless is suffocating. Now i welcome back my failure to thrive. And im sure insomnia shall rear its ugly head into my life once again soon. To feel a broken heart that hasnt been broken, to feel sick to your stomach without being sick. These are things this disease brings me. CF, go ***** yourself.
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CF has taken its last shot at me
- Thread starter Chad
- Start date
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Chad</b></i>
I cant stand the thought of losing someone over this disease. The thought two people in love cant be together for fear of making the other sick. I can handle dying for love, but I cant handle being the cause of it to someone I love. The lf.</end quote></div>
What do you mean? Sucks that you're feeling like this, but i have no idea what's going on....
I cant stand the thought of losing someone over this disease. The thought two people in love cant be together for fear of making the other sick. I can handle dying for love, but I cant handle being the cause of it to someone I love. The lf.</end quote></div>
What do you mean? Sucks that you're feeling like this, but i have no idea what's going on....
Chad, I'm so sorry to hear that! I know from when you were last in the hospital, your girlfriend (sorry I can't connect the dots right now and remember her name!) was so worried about you being in there. Sounds like you might have been told by your docs that they're worried about you two giving eachother bugs, right? How tough is that! Wow. I can't imagine, and I'm so sorry to hear. Is there anyway around this? I wonder. Try to keep your chin up though, you do still have eachother...eventhough the docs don't want you to see eachother. I don't know, that's really tough!
I'll be thinking of you two.
Kelly
I'll be thinking of you two.
Kelly
I'm sorry to hear that, Chad.
I hate this disease too, i hate the way it affects my baby girl and i hate the cruel decisions i have to make for her as mum.
Iknow know how you feel, but hang in thereand you will pull through just fine.
I'm with Kelly, i too think that they are worried about you two eachother bugs.
Thinking of you both.
I hate this disease too, i hate the way it affects my baby girl and i hate the cruel decisions i have to make for her as mum.
Iknow know how you feel, but hang in thereand you will pull through just fine.
I'm with Kelly, i too think that they are worried about you two eachother bugs.
Thinking of you both.
I am not 100% of the recent events, but if its connected to sharing/giving bugs to each other.......wouldnt you have expected that? Forgive me if I am wrong on this, but I thought you understood the risks of being with another CFer? If you are now finding out the hard way I am so sorry to hear this. Dealing with CF by ourselves is hard enough so I cant imagine having someone I love not only see me deal with my CF, but having to watch them deal with theirs!
I'm sorry you are feeling this way and so frustrated Chad. I too hate CF for the very same reasons but my experiences are different since I'm not the one with CF.
I know what you are talking about and I am sure that it will all work out just wonderfully. It definately seems meant to be and if you two are determined it will happen. There will be road block after road block after road block, just keep trudging through as you have been.
I know what you are talking about and I am sure that it will all work out just wonderfully. It definately seems meant to be and if you two are determined it will happen. There will be road block after road block after road block, just keep trudging through as you have been.
fugikitten2087
New member
*hugs* I can't really say much to comfort you. I wish I could. I dated a girl with cepcia for 3 years dispite what the doctors told us because I loved her. I can say that CF is a bitch and it controls us in too meny ways, I lost "M" we shall call her but you shouldnt loose your girl freind. Love is so rare for any one.. *hugs* if you need anything just message me.
JennifersHope
New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Chad</b></i>
CF, go ***** yourself.</end quote></div>
I could not agree more.... Well said,
Jennifer
CF, go ***** yourself.</end quote></div>
I could not agree more.... Well said,
Jennifer
Hugs from me too Chad. I really hope you are feeling a little brighter today. One of the hard to accept aspects of cystic fibrosis is the limited prospects the disease puts on our social life at times. Yes, it does suck! I have had so-called medical experts tell me I would be better off living alone, to lessen the chance of infection. Their advise is sound, but from my perspective, walking away from someone who is my reason for living, was not going to be an option.
Chad, I'm not truly aware of your complete situation, however I come from a family where we all had CF and lived together not knowing the dangers of cross infection. It's only been recent years that the whole hygiene protocols have been rigidly put into practise. My partner, at the moment has a productive cough that keeps me at a certain distance! While, I know he has had the flu injection to protect me, there are no certainties with our health. We sensibly live together, and do our best to practice a high level of hygiene.
Chad I really don't know what message I am trying to get across to you here, I feel for you both and hope everything will work out for you.
Eileen <img src="i/expressions/sun.gif" border="0">
Chad, I'm not truly aware of your complete situation, however I come from a family where we all had CF and lived together not knowing the dangers of cross infection. It's only been recent years that the whole hygiene protocols have been rigidly put into practise. My partner, at the moment has a productive cough that keeps me at a certain distance! While, I know he has had the flu injection to protect me, there are no certainties with our health. We sensibly live together, and do our best to practice a high level of hygiene.
Chad I really don't know what message I am trying to get across to you here, I feel for you both and hope everything will work out for you.
Eileen <img src="i/expressions/sun.gif" border="0">
thelizardqueen
New member
I hate to see you going through such a rough time over something that you have no control over, that is out of your hands. I just hope that things will work out for you and Meghan in the end! Keep strong!
hey chad
my heart goes out to ya on this one, i have never been in that situation but i've close mates that are, some are now even engaged, my advice is this, ignore the doctors telling u that u could make your gf more sick or she will make u sick, they say this to us here trying to scare us from being together and the only effect its having is that the couples are becoming closer together, if you truely love her and she loves you then follow your heart and ignore the doctors, at time they seem to not even have a heart and cant see things from your point of view. but never ever give up on someone you love because doctors say so.
i hope thigns work out for you and you and ur gf are very happy together,
my heart goes out to ya on this one, i have never been in that situation but i've close mates that are, some are now even engaged, my advice is this, ignore the doctors telling u that u could make your gf more sick or she will make u sick, they say this to us here trying to scare us from being together and the only effect its having is that the couples are becoming closer together, if you truely love her and she loves you then follow your heart and ignore the doctors, at time they seem to not even have a heart and cant see things from your point of view. but never ever give up on someone you love because doctors say so.
i hope thigns work out for you and you and ur gf are very happy together,
That's really rough Chad, but here's how I would try to see it if i were you. Yes you probably do/will cross infect one another with the standard bugs us CF'ers are blessed with, but then by the time we hit 20 or so, the chances are we will all have staph and pseudos anyway, regardless of who our partner is. But, the benefits of having a loving, supportive partner who truly understands you and what it's like to be cursed with this disease must make up for that. Unless one of you cultures a true nasty like cepacia, i'd tend to look at the benefits rather than the drawbacks and just practice super strict hygiene...always. It's proven that somebody who loves and laughs with a soulmate lives a longer healthier life, no matter what we might be afflicted with. Best of luck and stay strong!
Kat (37 with CF, NZ)
Kat (37 with CF, NZ)