come on guys lets be nice, its going to be almost impossible to change someones view on this subject. Its very personal and I don't think you should talk about other people in this group. If the woman does not test her daughter that is her business. I think you were out of line in that, if you want her to see a different point of view I think you should tell her and not talk about her to the group. We are supposed to be a community and supportive of each other. I don't know about you guys, but I can't wait till this topic dies down...
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CF respondsibility
- Thread starter anonymous
- Start date
First off, it's spelled responsibility. Anyway, I can see your point, but the thought of someone aborting a baby when they find out it has CF greatly saddens me (and I am pro-choice, for the record.) Aborting a child with CF says that CF is the whole picture, that they child has no potential for anything other than sickness, suffering, and burden. Yes, CF does bring those things. But, personally, CF has made me a stronger person and given me the ability to see the big picture. Of course, I would not wish this disease on anyone, least of all a defenseless child. I have to wonder about the intentions of couples who know they are carriers and bring more than 2 children with CF into the world. All the same, I know that, as a woman, when the time comes to find out if my husband is a carrier, I would want to have a child either way. If my husband was a carrier, there is a chance I would still play genetic roulette and have a child. So, that's my two cents (or more like two dollars.) Mary ~ 21 yr old CFer
Thank you Mary!We all have our own reasons for having or not having children. My hubby and I have yet to decide if we will have another child, knowing that we are carriers. If Rachel didn't have CF, there would be no question about it, we would have had another child by now. But we are still trying to figure out if we could handle having another child with or with out CF in light of all we have gone through so far with our daughter. But then again she is such an amazing person, in part, I think, because of the things she has gone through. I do not believe in abortion for myself and could not ever do it, but I choose not to be judgemental about other's choices, because mmy mind is open enough to at least try to see their point of view. I wish I could say the same for those who have posted that it is purely selfish or irresponsible to have more than one child with CF. What we are going through in trying to make this decision is the furthest thing from selfish or irresponsible that we could immagine.Andrea
I think the main issue here is EDUCATED CHOICES. Having a child, with or without a disease, is a big decision - one that should not be taken lightly. What is right for one person, may not be right for another.Our son was diagnosed when he was 2 and his sister was 8 months. We did not know that we were carriers until that point. Before getting married, we always talked about having three children. After the dx, we talked long and hard about that decision. We talked about everything and considered everything. We considered how another child with CF would affect our family, our son, our daughter, as well as that child itself. We considered all angles and talked to anyone we could. We talked to doctors, genetic counselors, and other parents. Eventually we decided that we were going to continue with our lives and keep all our dreams intact. I won't kid you, the pregnancy was VERY DIFFICULT. There were many, many times that I questioned our decision. I worried that I thought too much with my heart and not enough with my head. We went through an amnio to find out if the baby had CF. We were very lucky - at 20 weeks we learned that we were carrying a healthy baby girl (who is a carrier, but does not have CF). Today she is a delightful, happy, chubby, healthy two year old girl. I am so grateful that I have her in my life, as well as Sean's life. In so many ways, she is our great equilizer. She makes our life a little more normal and alot more fun. Running after three children, I don't have time to dwell upon CF. (Of coure, we all take all the precautions like hand washing, vest therapies, etc, but besides those our life is as normal as anyone elses - we go to birthday parties, school functions, playdates, the park, pools, etc.) Also, Sean now has two sisters to keep him in line. He doesn't have the time or opportunity to "be special." He is simply the older brother who also happens to have CF. I think having the three children, will make all of them better people. Together they are leaning about patience, health, happiness, friendship, responsibility, and love.I definitely would not recomend my lifestyle to just anyone. I knew having three children, with one having a chronic illness, would be hard. I knew that I would have to be more patient, organized and flexible. I would have to honestly say it is harder than I ever imagined. But, I would do it over again in an instant. I thank God every day that I made the decision I did. And I know that I made the right decision for myself, as well as my family. I love my children more than anything and couldn't imagine life without any of them. I would not wish CF on anyone and if I could I definitely would love to wave a magic wand and make Sean's CF disappear. However, I can't . I also can't make absuse, neglect, disease, pain, and other childhool afflictions disappear. The way I look at it is that there are far more terrible things than CF. If I had a choice, I would take CF in a heart beat. At least with CF I have a child who can run around, play, and tell me he loves me every day. There are no guarantees in life. Sometimes "no guarantees" is scary and I am the first to admit that they keep me up late at night far too often. But "no guarantees" also can be wonderful. What if a cure is found in his life time. What if he is the one who discovers the cure. What if he is able to live to 100. You never know what surprises life will give you. As a mom, I am willing to take the bad with the good. Because there is so much good in life.Again, I want to repeat that the decision I made is not for everyone. I think that any parent needs to get as much information as possible and do what they believe to be right. I don't think anyone should judge or decide for another person until they have walked in those person's shoes for awhile.-Katrina, mother to Sean (5 w/CF), Carolyn 4 (w/o CF), and Allison 2 (w/o CF)However, it is not all wonderful. It is harder having three children, with one having a chronic illness. My husband often says that Sean is like having two children. We definitely have to be more patient, organized and flexible. Our family has to make occasional allowances to CF. For instance, my youngest daughter learned to crawl while visiting her brother in the hospital and my oldest daughter has to learn the value of fair at a very early age. But, again, like I said up above - all these things build character and make us better people.I definitely would n
As i should have commented in my last post i dont believe in abortion except in certain cases of rape, insest or mothers life is in danger. I believe that if a person knows that there is a chance that the child would have cf or would be adversly affected by a parent with cf that the descision should be made before consception. Hence educated descision by lookin at it from all different view. After t hat its your choice.