Hello All!I have enjoyed reading all the info here in this site. I have found it very helpful. Soon, I will be marrying the love of my life...a man witrh CF. I love him with all my heart and accept him and I do or don't do whatever is helpful for him to be happy and healthy. I feel very lucky to have this man in my life, and especially to know that he loves me enough to want to spend his life with me. The issue is, recently I have not been able to sleep..I lie awake at night thinking about what will happen if he gets sick and dies? How long will he live for? I am plaued by these thoughts. I would love to hear from other people who have married people with CF and how you get over these thoughts??Thank you.
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COmmitment to a man with CF
- Thread starter anonymous
- Start date
Ok let me start off by saying that Im not in your shoes. I'm a f/20/with cf but I can sure give you some advice. Take cf off your mind. Instead, at night think about all the wonderful things you guys can do together. Pray and take good care of him and everything will be fine. Everyone goes one day but people cant sit there and kill themselves slowly wondering when its gonna happen. Live your lives Now, dont look back and dont guess upon the future!Best of luck to you sweety! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
B
B
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I am not in your shoes either, I am 27 w/CF but I agree with Diane. A little story. Last October I met the Love of My Life. I could not ask for anyone better. I would often worry about how he would handle it if I was to get real sick and how he would cope if I had to think about transplant or seeing me suffer and passing. He had a tendancy to get upset of thinking of such things, and hearing of other cfers problems . He was very supportive of me as I was for him and his health problems (Chronic but not terminal) Last July, I was closing on my house, then he and I were going on vacation and when we returned he was moving in with me and we were starting our lives together,. The week before all this was supposed to happen, he had a tragic motorcycle accident and died instantly for all pratical purposes (he was not breathing when the ambulance got to the scen but they restartd him.) When he was in ICU, I was freaking out. I always thought it would be him out in the waiting room worried and upset about me; I never imagined it being the other way around.No matter what our situation, none of us are promised tommorw; therefore we need to live and enjoy life for today. Never take a day for granet and never pass up an opportunity to tell him you love him. The only regret I have is that the last time I seen "my Love" I did not tell kiss him and tell him I loved him as he walked out the door because he was just going around the block not expecting to be gone 10 minutes.
B, your story is so sad... i'm so sorry that happened...back to the topic... i think even when you marry a healthy person, things can happen. we just had it happen in my family - my mom's second cousin. he's 51 years old, has a wife, a pre-teen son and a baby of 8 months, and he just got diagnosed with colon cancer. his poor wife, she takes care of the kids, she's in school now getting another degree and is working. he cannot work now so their financial situation is going to be tough. not to mention, what if he dies. and he's certainly going to be very sick... so you never know.
TO BCongratulations on meeting and enjoying time with the love of your life, and my sincerest condolences on losing him. I have also met the love of my life, he worries about cf. Every now and then I notice he has looked up info of cf on the web. I keep telling him all that he reads is not me, but I can tell he thinks I am just trying to make it sound better. He works as a pearl diver and I tell him that it is similar to cf in a couple of ways - it's bone depleting, bad for your lungs and one day you may catch something/ be stung by a box jellyfish or taken by a shark, just as I may get that final lung infection to end all lung infections, but he CHOOSES to do it - for the money. Since we've been together he's quit most of his diving and now skippers a boat most of the time instead, same pay almost. So some things can come out of having cf that are positive - Making others realise how precious life is, and to enjoy every day.I am sure a lot of you have similar experiences. My cf doc maintains that we must have a behavioural characteristic affected by our gene abnormality - an ability to look at the lighter side of life and enjoy every day as it comes. Apparently we really know how to party, too....One of my favourite quotes for all - Live every day as if it is your last because one day it will be. That's not supposed to be a depressing thought!!!! And it really annoys people who whinge about all the little things in life as an occupation.I hope this helps the lady with the cf boyfriend - Don't let a little cellular difference prevent you from enjoying the man behind the illness.
Hi I am in your shoes i am 26 and married the most wonderful man in the world on 22nd Augusted 2003, We have been together 11 years. He has cf. I went through what you were thinking also a long time ago but then one day i woke up and looked at him and all he goes through and realized that it is the person that i am forever in love with. There is nothing wrong with me i am totaly healthy but there is nothing to say that my partner will out live me. The one thing that i have learned is that you don't take life for granted or the people in it. I love and respect my partner now and always no matter what life has to throw at us we both are strong enough to get through it. I am so greatful when i wake up in the morning and he is beside me and for everyday that i have with him. If you keep worrying about whats going to happen, your life will pass and you will realize, that could of being extra time with eachother. Take each day as it comes and enjoy eachother. The good and the bad times it will make you stronger as a couple. I could talk forever i hope this helps.Best Wishes