Considering a second child...What did you do?

scheesman · May 21, 2011

I have a big problem with ( leave it in gods hands ). Don't get me wrong I believe in god, but god doesn't kill people. People kill people. God doesn't pay doc bills either. This isn't intended to piss people off but it is reality. Don't just think about today but also when our children will be grown-up and have the burden of their health on top of the expense of it. Ya I'm hopeful of wonder drugs in the future but the med companies just ain't gonna give them away. I just don't think it is worth the risk. My daughter is 4 now but much of her childhood was lost because of that feeding tube, treatments, therapy and doc visits. I just don't understand how parents take that chance just because they WANT another child. Ask any CFer I'm sure they WANT a normal life.

2girls · May 23, 2011

We have 2 healthy daughters and with our second, we found out we were carriers - after newborn screening we found out she was not a carrier and decided no more kids. Well, a few years went by and I knew I was meant to have one more and prayed and prayed for a healthy baby. God gave me a beautiful son who has CF. We had a amnio at 16 weeks and found out and were as prepared as we could be. He will be 2 in July and I am telling you, I wouldn't trade him for the world. My son is so adored and loved by so many people and all we can do is live in the moment. None of us knows what the future holds and if you worry about that, then you are really missing out on precious moments right now! Listen to your heart and you'll make the right decision for your family.

2girls · May 23, 2011

We have 2 healthy daughters and with our second, we found out we were carriers - after newborn screening we found out she was not a carrier and decided no more kids. Well, a few years went by and I knew I was meant to have one more and prayed and prayed for a healthy baby. God gave me a beautiful son who has CF. We had a amnio at 16 weeks and found out and were as prepared as we could be. He will be 2 in July and I am telling you, I wouldn't trade him for the world. My son is so adored and loved by so many people and all we can do is live in the moment. None of us knows what the future holds and if you worry about that, then you are really missing out on precious moments right now! Listen to your heart and you'll make the right decision for your family.

2girls · May 23, 2011

We have 2 healthy daughters and with our second, we found out we were carriers - after newborn screening we found out she was not a carrier and decided no more kids. Well, a few years went by and I knew I was meant to have one more and prayed and prayed for a healthy baby. God gave me a beautiful son who has CF. We had a amnio at 16 weeks and found out and were as prepared as we could be. He will be 2 in July and I am telling you, I wouldn't trade him for the world. My son is so adored and loved by so many people and all we can do is live in the moment. None of us knows what the future holds and if you worry about that, then you are really missing out on precious moments right now! Listen to your heart and you'll make the right decision for your family.

humphrey711 · May 23, 2011

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to this post. All of you have given me so much to think about. I am not new to the many options available for having children. My daughter was my 4th pg and is my only living child. We knew we were carriers and actually were inseminated with donor sperm when I became pregnant. I went through my entire pg thinking she was from a donor and that we had eliminated the CF issue. She was born early and 9 days later we found out she has it. Apparently I was already pg when I was inseminated with the donor sperm. She is now 4 and doing so well (knocking on wood here). She is my miracle and the absolute love of my life. I desperately want another baby and want her to have a sibling but I don't think I can take the risk. I don't want to take any chances with her health or the health of another child.

I am comfortable trying IVF/PGD or using a sperm donor for another baby. I have considered adoption but do not have the finances nor do I want to face a failed match that happens so frequently. I also almost 38 and have othe fertility issues so my chances are of getting pg naturally or with help are pretty low. If she is my only child then I am one lucky mommy.

Thank you again for the responses. I didn't expect this thread to get so much traffic.

humphrey711 · May 23, 2011

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to this post. All of you have given me so much to think about. I am not new to the many options available for having children. My daughter was my 4th pg and is my only living child. We knew we were carriers and actually were inseminated with donor sperm when I became pregnant. I went through my entire pg thinking she was from a donor and that we had eliminated the CF issue. She was born early and 9 days later we found out she has it. Apparently I was already pg when I was inseminated with the donor sperm. She is now 4 and doing so well (knocking on wood here). She is my miracle and the absolute love of my life. I desperately want another baby and want her to have a sibling but I don't think I can take the risk. I don't want to take any chances with her health or the health of another child.

I am comfortable trying IVF/PGD or using a sperm donor for another baby. I have considered adoption but do not have the finances nor do I want to face a failed match that happens so frequently. I also almost 38 and have othe fertility issues so my chances are of getting pg naturally or with help are pretty low. If she is my only child then I am one lucky mommy.

Thank you again for the responses. I didn't expect this thread to get so much traffic.

humphrey711 · May 23, 2011

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to this post. All of you have given me so much to think about. I am not new to the many options available for having children. My daughter was my 4th pg and is my only living child. We knew we were carriers and actually were inseminated with donor sperm when I became pregnant. I went through my entire pg thinking she was from a donor and that we had eliminated the CF issue. She was born early and 9 days later we found out she has it. Apparently I was already pg when I was inseminated with the donor sperm. She is now 4 and doing so well (knocking on wood here). She is my miracle and the absolute love of my life. I desperately want another baby and want her to have a sibling but I don't think I can take the risk. I don't want to take any chances with her health or the health of another child.
 
 I am comfortable trying IVF/PGD or using a sperm donor for another baby. I have considered adoption but do not have the finances nor do I want to face a failed match that happens so frequently. I also almost 38 and have othe fertility issues so my chances are of getting pg naturally or with help are pretty low. If she is my only child then I am one lucky mommy.
 
 Thank you again for the responses. I didn't expect this thread to get so much traffic.

schmj4910 · May 27, 2011

I want to encourage you to explore adoption. We adopted our son through the "Special Needs Adoption Program" here in WI. The adoptions are free, the kids are fully covered by the state's health care plan, and the kids receive a monthly payment based on the severity of their needs (up to $2000 per month). They use the term "special needs" to describe a wide variety of situations, not just physical or mental delays. Almost all kids adopted from the foster care system are considered "special needs". Please don't rule out this wonderful way to add to your family. Although babies are not as common as older children, they do become available for adoption. Our son was placed into foster care at the age of 6 months, he came to live with us at 8 months, and the adoption was final at 20 months. If you have any questions for me, please feel free to ask. There are tons of websites out there, just look at the ones for your state. Some even have pictures and descriptions of the kids waiting for families.

When we got married, my husband and I decided that we didn't want to "create" children. We wanted to give hope to children that were already here and needed a home. Adoption isn't just for people who can't conceive, like many people think, a lot of people choose to adopt. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

schmj4910 · May 27, 2011

I want to encourage you to explore adoption. We adopted our son through the "Special Needs Adoption Program" here in WI. The adoptions are free, the kids are fully covered by the state's health care plan, and the kids receive a monthly payment based on the severity of their needs (up to $2000 per month). They use the term "special needs" to describe a wide variety of situations, not just physical or mental delays. Almost all kids adopted from the foster care system are considered "special needs". Please don't rule out this wonderful way to add to your family. Although babies are not as common as older children, they do become available for adoption. Our son was placed into foster care at the age of 6 months, he came to live with us at 8 months, and the adoption was final at 20 months. If you have any questions for me, please feel free to ask. There are tons of websites out there, just look at the ones for your state. Some even have pictures and descriptions of the kids waiting for families.

When we got married, my husband and I decided that we didn't want to "create" children. We wanted to give hope to children that were already here and needed a home. Adoption isn't just for people who can't conceive, like many people think, a lot of people choose to adopt. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

schmj4910 · May 27, 2011

I want to encourage you to explore adoption. We adopted our son through the "Special Needs Adoption Program" here in WI. The adoptions are free, the kids are fully covered by the state's health care plan, and the kids receive a monthly payment based on the severity of their needs (up to $2000 per month). They use the term "special needs" to describe a wide variety of situations, not just physical or mental delays. Almost all kids adopted from the foster care system are considered "special needs". Please don't rule out this wonderful way to add to your family. Although babies are not as common as older children, they do become available for adoption. Our son was placed into foster care at the age of 6 months, he came to live with us at 8 months, and the adoption was final at 20 months. If you have any questions for me, please feel free to ask. There are tons of websites out there, just look at the ones for your state. Some even have pictures and descriptions of the kids waiting for families.
 
 When we got married, my husband and I decided that we didn't want to "create" children. We wanted to give hope to children that were already here and needed a home. Adoption isn't just for people who can't conceive, like many people think, a lot of people choose to adopt. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

jess423 · Jun 5, 2011

My 8 year old daughter has cf and I have a 2 year old that is just a carrier. I was so scared to have another child but we finally made the decision to have another. I chose to have an amnio done while I was pregnant, so that we would know early. My daughter that is 8 was diagnosed at 3 months and she was very very sick for a long time. So I wanted to be prepared if my second one would have had cf that way she could have the care that she needed from day one.

jess423 · Jun 5, 2011

My 8 year old daughter has cf and I have a 2 year old that is just a carrier. I was so scared to have another child but we finally made the decision to have another. I chose to have an amnio done while I was pregnant, so that we would know early. My daughter that is 8 was diagnosed at 3 months and she was very very sick for a long time. So I wanted to be prepared if my second one would have had cf that way she could have the care that she needed from day one.

jess423 · Jun 5, 2011

My 8 year old daughter has cf and I have a 2 year old that is just a carrier. I was so scared to have another child but we finally made the decision to have another. I chose to have an amnio done while I was pregnant, so that we would know early. My daughter that is 8 was diagnosed at 3 months and she was very very sick for a long time. So I wanted to be prepared if my second one would have had cf that way she could have the care that she needed from day one.

mneville · Jun 11, 2011

We are going tomorrow for our egg retrieval for IVF/PGD...Nervous!
Megan

mneville · Jun 11, 2011

We are going tomorrow for our egg retrieval for IVF/PGD...Nervous!
Megan

mneville · Jun 11, 2011

We are going tomorrow for our egg retrieval for IVF/PGD...Nervous!
 Megan

Willy · Jun 13, 2011

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Originally posted by: kellyga Just my opinion. We talk about this a lot in our household as well. It is a very difficult decision, especially if you are one of those people that always thought you would have more than one child. I can tell you that the other CF moms that I am friends with that have multiple CF children wouldn't change a thing. From the outside looking in, I don't know if I could make that choice. I watch them struggle with managing each childs care and splitting time when one is in the hospital. It seems very difficult. Also, each family I know with two or more CF children (same gene combination and environment) their CF presents in totally different ways, so there is no way of predicting what your childs health will be. There really isn't a right or wrong decision, only what you can live with and manage. What is right for your family? At this point, I am not sure what we will do...</end quote></div> 
 
For a christian killing your own child (abortion) is always the wrong decision. Thats no option for any christian.

Willy · Jun 13, 2011

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Originally posted by: kellyga Just my opinion. We talk about this a lot in our household as well. It is a very difficult decision, especially if you are one of those people that always thought you would have more than one child. I can tell you that the other CF moms that I am friends with that have multiple CF children wouldn't change a thing. From the outside looking in, I don't know if I could make that choice. I watch them struggle with managing each childs care and splitting time when one is in the hospital. It seems very difficult. Also, each family I know with two or more CF children (same gene combination and environment) their CF presents in totally different ways, so there is no way of predicting what your childs health will be. There really isn't a right or wrong decision, only what you can live with and manage. What is right for your family? At this point, I am not sure what we will do...</end quote> 

For a christian killing your own child (abortion) is always the wrong decision. Thats no option for any christian.

Willy · Jun 13, 2011

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Originally posted by: kellyga Just my opinion. We talk about this a lot in our household as well. It is a very difficult decision, especially if you are one of those people that always thought you would have more than one child. I can tell you that the other CF moms that I am friends with that have multiple CF children wouldn't change a thing. From the outside looking in, I don't know if I could make that choice. I watch them struggle with managing each childs care and splitting time when one is in the hospital. It seems very difficult. Also, each family I know with two or more CF children (same gene combination and environment) their CF presents in totally different ways, so there is no way of predicting what your childs health will be. There really isn't a right or wrong decision, only what you can live with and manage. What is right for your family? At this point, I am not sure what we will do...</end quote> 

For a christian killing your own child (abortion) is always the wrong decision. Thats no option for any christian.

Ratatosk · Jun 13, 2011

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Originally posted by: mneville We are going tomorrow for our egg retrieval for IVF/PGD...Nervous! Megan</end quote></div> 
 
Oh how exciting! You're in my thoughts!

Considering a second child...What did you do?

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