Considering a second child...What did you do?
- Thread starter humphrey711
- Start date
imported_Momto2
New member
Keep in mind that any decision you make will impact your first child. Illnesses will be passed from child to child, Pseudamonas, Cepacia, ect. If one is much sicker than the other, it drags the healthier child down too over time. I've seen it happen many times. This is from the perspective of a mom w/CF, 2 kids. I dont really believe in selecting embryos, but if you look at from the perspective of protecting BOTH you children, especially the already existing child whom you presumably love like crazy, I think the decision is easier. Its not that you are saying that your first child is in any way less of a wonderful amazing person because they have CF, but by doing selection for your second child, you can can choose to protect BOTH. Frankly, we decided to adopt since it didnt make sense to me to shorten my life span with a pregnancy, therefore sacrificing my lifespan for the very thing (family) I was trying to create.
imported_Momto2
New member
Keep in mind that any decision you make will impact your first child. Illnesses will be passed from child to child, Pseudamonas, Cepacia, ect. If one is much sicker than the other, it drags the healthier child down too over time. I've seen it happen many times. This is from the perspective of a mom w/CF, 2 kids. I dont really believe in selecting embryos, but if you look at from the perspective of protecting BOTH you children, especially the already existing child whom you presumably love like crazy, I think the decision is easier. Its not that you are saying that your first child is in any way less of a wonderful amazing person because they have CF, but by doing selection for your second child, you can can choose to protect BOTH. Frankly, we decided to adopt since it didnt make sense to me to shorten my life span with a pregnancy, therefore sacrificing my lifespan for the very thing (family) I was trying to create.
imported_Momto2
New member
Keep in mind that any decision you make will impact your first child. Illnesses will be passed from child to child, Pseudamonas, Cepacia, ect. If one is much sicker than the other, it drags the healthier child down too over time. I've seen it happen many times. This is from the perspective of a mom w/CF, 2 kids. I dont really believe in selecting embryos, but if you look at from the perspective of protecting BOTH you children, especially the already existing child whom you presumably love like crazy, I think the decision is easier. Its not that you are saying that your first child is in any way less of a wonderful amazing person because they have CF, but by doing selection for your second child, you can can choose to protect BOTH. Frankly, we decided to adopt since it didnt make sense to me to shorten my life span with a pregnancy, therefore sacrificing my lifespan for the very thing (family) I was trying to create.
DH and I thought long and hard about our decision about having more children. I just wish people (FAMILY!!!) would think before opening their mouths and offering advice.
This isn't aimed at anyone here, but to my assinine FIL who announced to everyone at a family gathering this weekend that I should have a little girl -- I was keeping DS' 2-year old cousin entertained as her mother is going thru a very difficult pregnancy. I made a joke about my FIL's comment, but it still really, really hurt.
This isn't aimed at anyone here, but to my assinine FIL who announced to everyone at a family gathering this weekend that I should have a little girl -- I was keeping DS' 2-year old cousin entertained as her mother is going thru a very difficult pregnancy. I made a joke about my FIL's comment, but it still really, really hurt.
DH and I thought long and hard about our decision about having more children. I just wish people (FAMILY!!!) would think before opening their mouths and offering advice.
This isn't aimed at anyone here, but to my assinine FIL who announced to everyone at a family gathering this weekend that I should have a little girl -- I was keeping DS' 2-year old cousin entertained as her mother is going thru a very difficult pregnancy. I made a joke about my FIL's comment, but it still really, really hurt.
This isn't aimed at anyone here, but to my assinine FIL who announced to everyone at a family gathering this weekend that I should have a little girl -- I was keeping DS' 2-year old cousin entertained as her mother is going thru a very difficult pregnancy. I made a joke about my FIL's comment, but it still really, really hurt.
DH and I thought long and hard about our decision about having more children. I just wish people (FAMILY!!!) would think before opening their mouths and offering advice.
<br />
<br />This isn't aimed at anyone here, but to my assinine FIL who announced to everyone at a family gathering this weekend that I should have a little girl -- I was keeping DS' 2-year old cousin entertained as her mother is going thru a very difficult pregnancy. I made a joke about my FIL's comment, but it still really, really hurt.
<br />
<br />This isn't aimed at anyone here, but to my assinine FIL who announced to everyone at a family gathering this weekend that I should have a little girl -- I was keeping DS' 2-year old cousin entertained as her mother is going thru a very difficult pregnancy. I made a joke about my FIL's comment, but it still really, really hurt.
Unfortunately, people don't realize how their words sound to other and how much those words hurt for those of us who have to make tough decisions.<br><br>Our diagnosis has definitely made me be much more careful of the words I say to others. <br><br>For example, I don't think I'll ever say again to another parent, oh, your baby is so tiny! I know it's not meant this way, but those are words that pierce my heart and people have NO idea.<br>
Unfortunately, people don't realize how their words sound to other and how much those words hurt for those of us who have to make tough decisions.<br><br>Our diagnosis has definitely made me be much more careful of the words I say to others. <br><br>For example, I don't think I'll ever say again to another parent, oh, your baby is so tiny! I know it's not meant this way, but those are words that pierce my heart and people have NO idea.<br>
Unfortunately, people don't realize how their words sound to other and how much those words hurt for those of us who have to make tough decisions.<br><br>Our diagnosis has definitely made me be much more careful of the words I say to others. <br><br>For example, I don't think I'll ever say again to another parent, oh, your baby is so tiny! I know it's not meant this way, but those are words that pierce my heart and people have NO idea.<br>
fourkidsmom
New member
This is a very tough decision and everyone is different. I truly believe God will not give you more than you can handle. Our son has CF and has not had an easy time, many hospitalizations, 18 surgeries, etc., tons of med's ... BUT when he was 1 1/2 we knew we wanted another child. SO we went ahead and tried and I got pregnant. I had an aminio not because we would abort if she had CF but because we wanted to be prepared. My son with CF had to have surgery at birth and if we wouldn't of known I would of tried to deliver naturally and it would not of worked. So we were prepared with a scheduled c-section in a city 2 hours away that is better equipped. It came back she did not have CF and we were SO HAPPY .. but a year later found out she has other special needs.... so you really never know what the outcome will bring. All I know is we would be lost without our children and we still wouldn't of changed anything we did. Good luck with your decision
fourkidsmom
New member
This is a very tough decision and everyone is different. I truly believe God will not give you more than you can handle. Our son has CF and has not had an easy time, many hospitalizations, 18 surgeries, etc., tons of med's ... BUT when he was 1 1/2 we knew we wanted another child. SO we went ahead and tried and I got pregnant. I had an aminio not because we would abort if she had CF but because we wanted to be prepared. My son with CF had to have surgery at birth and if we wouldn't of known I would of tried to deliver naturally and it would not of worked. So we were prepared with a scheduled c-section in a city 2 hours away that is better equipped. It came back she did not have CF and we were SO HAPPY .. but a year later found out she has other special needs.... so you really never know what the outcome will bring. All I know is we would be lost without our children and we still wouldn't of changed anything we did. Good luck with your decision
fourkidsmom
New member
This is a very tough decision and everyone is different. I truly believe God will not give you more than you can handle. Our son has CF and has not had an easy time, many hospitalizations, 18 surgeries, etc., tons of med's ... BUT when he was 1 1/2 we knew we wanted another child. SO we went ahead and tried and I got pregnant. I had an aminio not because we would abort if she had CF but because we wanted to be prepared. My son with CF had to have surgery at birth and if we wouldn't of known I would of tried to deliver naturally and it would not of worked. So we were prepared with a scheduled c-section in a city 2 hours away that is better equipped. It came back she did not have CF and we were SO HAPPY .. but a year later found out she has other special needs.... so you really never know what the outcome will bring. All I know is we would be lost without our children and we still wouldn't of changed anything we did. Good luck with your decision
alabamamom
New member
Just to share my thougts as well....my husband and I are also trying to decide on PGD or donor sperm. We are both carriers and our daughter DOES NOT (Thank YOU GOD) have cf. But my sister did. I spend my whole life knowing that I'd eventually lose her and 6 years ago, I did. Knowing what she went through, I couldn't risk having a child with cf or put my daughter through having a sibling with cf (I know that's where I'm different than most ppl on here..most parents here do have a child with cf, but I'm just sharing my point of view). After we lost my sister, and after I had my daughter and had her tested, and after we finally found out we were both carriers, my mother's advice on having another child (naturally) was that "it isn't worth it". Having my mom say that, drawing from the experience with her own child, was very powerful to me. We do not plan on chancing it, but have not decided on our "method".
alabamamom
New member
Just to share my thougts as well....my husband and I are also trying to decide on PGD or donor sperm. We are both carriers and our daughter DOES NOT (Thank YOU GOD) have cf. But my sister did. I spend my whole life knowing that I'd eventually lose her and 6 years ago, I did. Knowing what she went through, I couldn't risk having a child with cf or put my daughter through having a sibling with cf (I know that's where I'm different than most ppl on here..most parents here do have a child with cf, but I'm just sharing my point of view). After we lost my sister, and after I had my daughter and had her tested, and after we finally found out we were both carriers, my mother's advice on having another child (naturally) was that "it isn't worth it". Having my mom say that, drawing from the experience with her own child, was very powerful to me. We do not plan on chancing it, but have not decided on our "method".
alabamamom
New member
Just to share my thougts as well....my husband and I are also trying to decide on PGD or donor sperm. We are both carriers and our daughter DOES NOT (Thank YOU GOD) have cf. But my sister did. I spend my whole life knowing that I'd eventually lose her and 6 years ago, I did. Knowing what she went through, I couldn't risk having a child with cf or put my daughter through having a sibling with cf (I know that's where I'm different than most ppl on here..most parents here do have a child with cf, but I'm just sharing my point of view). After we lost my sister, and after I had my daughter and had her tested, and after we finally found out we were both carriers, my mother's advice on having another child (naturally) was that "it isn't worth it". Having my mom say that, drawing from the experience with her own child, was very powerful to me. We do not plan on chancing it, but have not decided on our "method".
alabamamom
New member
Just to share my thougts as well....my husband and I are also trying to decide on PGD or donor sperm. We are both carriers and our daughter DOES NOT (Thank YOU GOD) have cf. But my sister did. I spend my whole life knowing that I'd eventually lose her and 6 years ago, I did. Knowing what she went through, I couldn't risk having a child with cf or put my daughter through having a sibling with cf (I know that's where I'm different than most ppl on here..most parents here do have a child with cf, but I'm just sharing my point of view). After we lost my sister, and after I had my daughter and had her tested, and after we finally found out we were both carriers, my mother's advice on having another child (naturally) was that "it isn't worth it". Having my mom say that, drawing from the experience with her own child, was very powerful to me. We do not plan on chancing it, but have not decided on our "method".
alabamamom
New member
Just to share my thougts as well....my husband and I are also trying to decide on PGD or donor sperm. We are both carriers and our daughter DOES NOT (Thank YOU GOD) have cf. But my sister did. I spend my whole life knowing that I'd eventually lose her and 6 years ago, I did. Knowing what she went through, I couldn't risk having a child with cf or put my daughter through having a sibling with cf (I know that's where I'm different than most ppl on here..most parents here do have a child with cf, but I'm just sharing my point of view). After we lost my sister, and after I had my daughter and had her tested, and after we finally found out we were both carriers, my mother's advice on having another child (naturally) was that "it isn't worth it". Having my mom say that, drawing from the experience with her own child, was very powerful to me. We do not plan on chancing it, but have not decided on our "method".
alabamamom
New member
Just to share my thougts as well....my husband and I are also trying to decide on PGD or donor sperm. We are both carriers and our daughter DOES NOT (Thank YOU GOD) have cf. But my sister did. I spend my whole life knowing that I'd eventually lose her and 6 years ago, I did. Knowing what she went through, I couldn't risk having a child with cf or put my daughter through having a sibling with cf (I know that's where I'm different than most ppl on here..most parents here do have a child with cf, but I'm just sharing my point of view). After we lost my sister, and after I had my daughter and had her tested, and after we finally found out we were both carriers, my mother's advice on having another child (naturally) was that "it isn't worth it". Having my mom say that, drawing from the experience with her own child, was very powerful to me. We do not plan on chancing it, but have not decided on our "method".