Well....just like Joni I dont understand having a child with CF, BUT just being a Mom I know a % of your fears.
I think now that things have "quited" down & you are not on "auto pilot" that things are catching up.
I find this is normal & for what its worth healthy to do.
Let the tears flow....we all will offer the shoulder to cry on, the tissues to blow in and the laughter for when you are done!