I have decided to go out with a man that has CF. I am not totally educated yet on CF but am trying as hard as I can.What I was wondering is what kinds of things do I need to know? Such as is it okay to kiss them etc. or any pointers people have when dealing with someone your starting a relationship that has CF? Maybe I am rambling...any info will be greatly appreciated <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-confused.gif" border="0">
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Dating?! I need some advice fast!!!
- Thread starter anonymous
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kiss away! CF isn't contagious and so you won't catch it. However, and people please correct me if I'm wrong here, you may want to stay away from him if you have the cold or flu cause if he catches that from you, it could be really problematic. If you are trying to find out stuff about the disease I'd ask him, because CF is really variable so if you read a book about CF it will be probably generalize and say something like "all people with CF blah blah blah" and that could be totally untrue for your guy. I think the most important thing in dating someone with cf is to be honest about how you feel, don't treat him like he's going to break but also be understanding that some days, he may have his limitations. Try just to be there for him and never ever say "I know you feel." The other thing is, most guys with CF are sterile but some aren't, so you still need to use condoms.does that help?~ scarlett
Like Scarlett said, I would really ask him. For the most part CFers don't mind educating people they care for about their CF. And avoid looking in books, they are always outdated and give very old information. And it varies sooo much. Its just like when someone says they have a cold, some people will have a runy nose a a slight cough for a day or two while someone else may have a high fever and be stuck in bed for the week...same thing with CF some people have it more severe than others. Also for a CFer coughing is part of life and is actually GOOD because it clears the lungs so if he coughs don't think he is ill or that you are going to get sick when you kiss him. This is a side note and may just be one of MY quirks,but I hate when people ask if I am okay when I cough because when they do it reminds me that coughing isn't "normal" to most people. I usually don't even notice when i cough cause its just part of my life and so I prefer when people don't draw attention to it. Like I said that may just be me, but a few of my CF friends feel the same way...I guess just don't make a huge deal if he starts to cough a lot. Hmmm what other advice...I guess just let him know that if he ever needs anything that your there for him. If you have any other questions feel free to ask.Emily
yes the coughing thing is so true. I actually went to a different doctor yesterday (ob/gyn) who obviously knew nothing about CF. I told her, as a side not, that i had CF, and then like 10 minutes later she was like "wow you have a wicked cold there huh!" I was like "um, yeah." And I was barely even coughing !! It irritated me, I mean i know she is not a pulmonary Doctor but come on!
I have CF and I have a boyfriend I don't ever mind answering his questions. Kissing and ect. is fine but when you do keep in mind that he will cough because it is hard to breath. This was something that took some time for us to get used to but now he can tell before I start to cough like that and he is every understanding about it.if you have any questions I would be more then happy to answer them my AIM s/n is CFgirl69
I married my high school sweetheart (married for 23 years) - he was diagnosed at birth with CF. Mostly, he worried (and still does) what I think. I think he's great - CF is just part of who he is. No regrets, but there are some definite challenges. If you start to get serious, you should decide if you can commit for the long haul. You'll need family support, and we also have a strong faith. Both necessities for the tough times. But there's also blessings - for instance, we don't even take one day for granted, and tend to let the unimportant irritations slide. Life's too short and we live it to the fullest. I love hiim with all my heart. Best wishes! - j
You would definitely have to talk to your boyfriend. He's the only one who can answer your questions. CF is different for each of us. And doing your own research will only depress you. Your boyfriend knows what his limitations are (if any) and what to do about them. I am 22 with CF. My boyfriend has been understanding. There are some days when I feel like I can run a marathon and others when I'm too exhausted to do anything. I think it also helps that we were close friends for eight years before dating so he knew what he was getting into.About kissing. There's no limitations there. Anyways, good luck.
In my experiance, if I'm on my back for a long time having sex, I have to stop and cough. This can sometimes spoil the mood, but my boyfriend is very understanding. It just means we have to be a little mor creative sometimes<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">Debbie
<blockquote>Quote<br><hr><i>Originally posted by: <b>Anonymous</b></i>In my experiance, if I'm on my back for a long time having sex, I have to stop and cough. This can sometimes spoil the mood, but my boyfriend is very understanding. It just means we have to be a little mor creative sometimes<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">Debbie<hr></blockquote>when i was 17, the boy i was dating back then said once that he noticed that i cough way less/close to nothing while we kiss and make-out. me, like most cf-ers, i don't pay attention to my coughing, but after he said that i sort of started watching my cough and turns out he was right. it's like that - during sexual activity i cough way less. and i know it's not psychologic, it's not me stoping, because my way of thinking is, 'if i need to cough, i cough' and i've had several coughing fits during sex - because i don't stop completely, it just happens less. i do have a rule though - if that person doesn't know that i have cf i'm going to do anything with them, so by the time we get physical, that person usually knows all about it [from me] and also about coughing. so sometimes we have to stop for a minute until i catch my breath. all my partners have been very understanding about that aspect of cf. DEBBIE - i'd like to get some tips about the "creative" you've mentioned, please ;-) my email is in my siggy.
Look mate, i'm a chick and i have cf and the worst thing for me is blokes worrying about me during sex.If i'm having a coughing fit on top we roll over after the fit, i tend to only cough during sex if i've got a bad infection. fifteen minutes after is when all the phlegm seems to come to the 'surface.' so if he leaves the room to cough let him - i prefer to leave the bedroom to cough heaps. it can help to stand up to have a good cough. Just quietly, for all the cf girls, both of you on your knees (know what i mean?) is good - you can cough in comfort and noone need put a hold on proceedings - it can be good postural drainage! sex is great exercise for all of us!