Daycare for my child as a mother with CF

LouLou · Oct 10, 2006

I'm not pregnant. Just planning here and wanting advice from those that have been through this ... because with CF (and being a virgo) I find I can never plan too much.

I realize the best thing to do for both me (mother) and child would be to stay home with baby but financially this may not be possible until my husband finishes his post-doc. Due to my health (which is very stable by the way) we have been advised we can't wait until then which might be another 2 years.

Ah the fun decisions we have to make as CFers.

I enjoy working. That being said...

I realize the pregnancy could have ill effects on my health causing me to stay home for good for the rest of my life. This is a risk I'm willing to take and frankly I may work part time if at all financially possible anyway. I'll tap into my 401K savings and go on SSDI should the need arise.

My husband, my family and I have decided that we don't want me to work to the point that the work starts to make my decline faster. As of right now the rigor and schedule is helping me to stay in line with my cf care and not causing any stress on me.

My question:
Can you suggest a daycare arrangement or daycare alternative that would be 'best case' for me having CF? Tell me about your experience as a mother with CF and caring for your child. I'm blessed to have a great workplace - maybe you did some alternative 'take your baby to work' situation - tell me more. If you went part time, what were the advantages, pros/cons (such as a X% paycut for how many days of work which made it possible to have shared nannying). If you used a nanny could you suggest a process in finding one? Shared nanny what's that all about? Could you suggest costs that I should budget for this or other methods? thoughts? Specific suggestion of websites to reference? How to judge good/bad in daycare evaluation?...

LouLou · Oct 10, 2006

I'm not pregnant. Just planning here and wanting advice from those that have been through this ... because with CF (and being a virgo) I find I can never plan too much.

I realize the best thing to do for both me (mother) and child would be to stay home with baby but financially this may not be possible until my husband finishes his post-doc. Due to my health (which is very stable by the way) we have been advised we can't wait until then which might be another 2 years.

Ah the fun decisions we have to make as CFers.

I enjoy working. That being said...

I realize the pregnancy could have ill effects on my health causing me to stay home for good for the rest of my life. This is a risk I'm willing to take and frankly I may work part time if at all financially possible anyway. I'll tap into my 401K savings and go on SSDI should the need arise.

My husband, my family and I have decided that we don't want me to work to the point that the work starts to make my decline faster. As of right now the rigor and schedule is helping me to stay in line with my cf care and not causing any stress on me.

My question:
Can you suggest a daycare arrangement or daycare alternative that would be 'best case' for me having CF? Tell me about your experience as a mother with CF and caring for your child. I'm blessed to have a great workplace - maybe you did some alternative 'take your baby to work' situation - tell me more. If you went part time, what were the advantages, pros/cons (such as a X% paycut for how many days of work which made it possible to have shared nannying). If you used a nanny could you suggest a process in finding one? Shared nanny what's that all about? Could you suggest costs that I should budget for this or other methods? thoughts? Specific suggestion of websites to reference? How to judge good/bad in daycare evaluation?...

LouLou · Oct 10, 2006

I'm not pregnant. Just planning here and wanting advice from those that have been through this ... because with CF (and being a virgo) I find I can never plan too much.

I realize the best thing to do for both me (mother) and child would be to stay home with baby but financially this may not be possible until my husband finishes his post-doc. Due to my health (which is very stable by the way) we have been advised we can't wait until then which might be another 2 years.

Ah the fun decisions we have to make as CFers.

I enjoy working. That being said...

I realize the pregnancy could have ill effects on my health causing me to stay home for good for the rest of my life. This is a risk I'm willing to take and frankly I may work part time if at all financially possible anyway. I'll tap into my 401K savings and go on SSDI should the need arise.

My husband, my family and I have decided that we don't want me to work to the point that the work starts to make my decline faster. As of right now the rigor and schedule is helping me to stay in line with my cf care and not causing any stress on me.

My question:
Can you suggest a daycare arrangement or daycare alternative that would be 'best case' for me having CF? Tell me about your experience as a mother with CF and caring for your child. I'm blessed to have a great workplace - maybe you did some alternative 'take your baby to work' situation - tell me more. If you went part time, what were the advantages, pros/cons (such as a X% paycut for how many days of work which made it possible to have shared nannying). If you used a nanny could you suggest a process in finding one? Shared nanny what's that all about? Could you suggest costs that I should budget for this or other methods? thoughts? Specific suggestion of websites to reference? How to judge good/bad in daycare evaluation?...

debs2girls · Oct 11, 2006

Lauren, I really dont have any advice for your questions. I just wanted to comment on how mature and smart I think you are in all this planning. It shows a maturity past your years.
Good luck in your quest.

debs2girls · Oct 11, 2006

Lauren, I really dont have any advice for your questions. I just wanted to comment on how mature and smart I think you are in all this planning. It shows a maturity past your years.
Good luck in your quest.

debs2girls · Oct 11, 2006

Lauren, I really dont have any advice for your questions. I just wanted to comment on how mature and smart I think you are in all this planning. It shows a maturity past your years.
Good luck in your quest.

lightNlife · Oct 11, 2006

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Originally posted by: LouLou

I realize the best thing to do for both me (mother) and child would be to stay home with baby but financially this may not be possible until my husband finishes his post-doc. Due to my health (which is very stable by the way) we have been advised we can't wait until then which might be another 2 years.

Ah the fun decisions we have to make as CFers.

I enjoy working. That being said...

I realize the pregnancy could have ill effects on my health causing me to stay home for good for the rest of my life. This is a risk I'm willing to take and frankly I may work part time if at all financially possible anyway. I'll tap into my 401K savings and go on SSDI should the need arise.

My husband, my family and I have decided that we don't want me to work to the point that the work starts to make my decline faster. As of right now the rigor and schedule is helping me to stay in line with my cf care and not causing any stress on me.

</end quote></div>

If the reasons for concern are financial, then as responsible as you are being in thinking ahead, it would be additionally responsible to delay parenthood until you are in a financial position to be able to stay home. Some people don't realize that when they are making use of day care in order to work part-time to help their financial stability, they are actually spending more money than if they had just stayed home and budgeted differently instead.

You are wise to consider the angles, and I hope that you will arrive at a solution that is best for you, your husband, and ultimately, a child you may someday welcome into your home. Remember that the best decision sometimes isn't the easiest one. Keep the big picture in mind.

For many women with CF, becoming a parent is a high priority on their "must do this while my health is still good" list. If this is the case for you, then why on earth would you become a mommy only to turn around and let someone else (i.e. a nanny or day care provider) spend precious time with your child who is a part of YOU? I don't get it. The time spent in a day care or with a nanny while you work is time that you will not ever be able to get back. Again, keep the big picture in mind and weigh your decision ever so carefully.

lightNlife · Oct 11, 2006

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Originally posted by: LouLou

I realize the best thing to do for both me (mother) and child would be to stay home with baby but financially this may not be possible until my husband finishes his post-doc. Due to my health (which is very stable by the way) we have been advised we can't wait until then which might be another 2 years.

Ah the fun decisions we have to make as CFers.

I enjoy working. That being said...

I realize the pregnancy could have ill effects on my health causing me to stay home for good for the rest of my life. This is a risk I'm willing to take and frankly I may work part time if at all financially possible anyway. I'll tap into my 401K savings and go on SSDI should the need arise.

My husband, my family and I have decided that we don't want me to work to the point that the work starts to make my decline faster. As of right now the rigor and schedule is helping me to stay in line with my cf care and not causing any stress on me.

</end quote></div>

If the reasons for concern are financial, then as responsible as you are being in thinking ahead, it would be additionally responsible to delay parenthood until you are in a financial position to be able to stay home. Some people don't realize that when they are making use of day care in order to work part-time to help their financial stability, they are actually spending more money than if they had just stayed home and budgeted differently instead.

You are wise to consider the angles, and I hope that you will arrive at a solution that is best for you, your husband, and ultimately, a child you may someday welcome into your home. Remember that the best decision sometimes isn't the easiest one. Keep the big picture in mind.

For many women with CF, becoming a parent is a high priority on their "must do this while my health is still good" list. If this is the case for you, then why on earth would you become a mommy only to turn around and let someone else (i.e. a nanny or day care provider) spend precious time with your child who is a part of YOU? I don't get it. The time spent in a day care or with a nanny while you work is time that you will not ever be able to get back. Again, keep the big picture in mind and weigh your decision ever so carefully.

lightNlife · Oct 11, 2006

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Originally posted by: LouLou

I realize the best thing to do for both me (mother) and child would be to stay home with baby but financially this may not be possible until my husband finishes his post-doc. Due to my health (which is very stable by the way) we have been advised we can't wait until then which might be another 2 years.

Ah the fun decisions we have to make as CFers.

I enjoy working. That being said...

I realize the pregnancy could have ill effects on my health causing me to stay home for good for the rest of my life. This is a risk I'm willing to take and frankly I may work part time if at all financially possible anyway. I'll tap into my 401K savings and go on SSDI should the need arise.

My husband, my family and I have decided that we don't want me to work to the point that the work starts to make my decline faster. As of right now the rigor and schedule is helping me to stay in line with my cf care and not causing any stress on me.

</end quote></div>

If the reasons for concern are financial, then as responsible as you are being in thinking ahead, it would be additionally responsible to delay parenthood until you are in a financial position to be able to stay home. Some people don't realize that when they are making use of day care in order to work part-time to help their financial stability, they are actually spending more money than if they had just stayed home and budgeted differently instead.

You are wise to consider the angles, and I hope that you will arrive at a solution that is best for you, your husband, and ultimately, a child you may someday welcome into your home. Remember that the best decision sometimes isn't the easiest one. Keep the big picture in mind.

For many women with CF, becoming a parent is a high priority on their "must do this while my health is still good" list. If this is the case for you, then why on earth would you become a mommy only to turn around and let someone else (i.e. a nanny or day care provider) spend precious time with your child who is a part of YOU? I don't get it. The time spent in a day care or with a nanny while you work is time that you will not ever be able to get back. Again, keep the big picture in mind and weigh your decision ever so carefully.

NoExcuses · Oct 11, 2006

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Originally posted by: lightNlife

If the reasons for concern are financial, then as responsible as you are being in thinking ahead, it would be additionally responsible to delay parenthood until you are in a financial position to be able to stay home.
</end quote></div>

perfectly said.

NoExcuses · Oct 11, 2006

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Originally posted by: lightNlife

If the reasons for concern are financial, then as responsible as you are being in thinking ahead, it would be additionally responsible to delay parenthood until you are in a financial position to be able to stay home.
</end quote></div>

perfectly said.

NoExcuses · Oct 11, 2006

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Originally posted by: lightNlife

If the reasons for concern are financial, then as responsible as you are being in thinking ahead, it would be additionally responsible to delay parenthood until you are in a financial position to be able to stay home.
</end quote></div>

perfectly said.

concernedmom · Oct 11, 2006

Well, I don't have CF (new baby niece does); therefore, I
hated to respond. Since you don't have many replies, I
thought I'd give my 2¢. Although I, too, think it's best for
a parent to stay home, that's not always feasible for many
different reasons besides finances. In my experience, my
children have been healthiest when home with me or home with their
own sitter/family member. They've been sickest in the large
centers, even those with very strict sick policies. Just too
many kids! Obviously, the more often your child is sick, the
more likely you are to get sick. We've tried many
scenarios - my mother watched them, we did large centers, smaller
centers, in-home daycare arrangements, and I've taken them to work
with me. Alternatives that I think would
be more likely to keep you both healthy are: (1) nanny/single
babysitter. This can be accomplished with the
traditional "nanny for hire", or another route such as a
close personal friend or family member, or even a college student.
Is your DH working & going to school? If so, that
would be harder but if he's just going to school, you may be able
to use less than "full-time" care. My niece was a
part-time "nanny" her last two years of college for one
of her college profs and absolutely loved it! (2) share a nanny.
If you can find a family with one or two kids max who you can
share a nanny with, that may work and be more financially feasible.
The downside is with nannies, people tend to think the nanny
can still watch their child if he/she is sick which of course will
expose your child more. (3) small in-home
daycares. Preferably one with the fewest children
possible and a really good sick policy in place. The
main downside here is they tend to not be as well regulated as
large centers; therefore, quality varies wildly. Surprise
visits are important in any arrangement, center, nanny, or
small in-home daycares. Taking baby to work, in my opinion,
is only a temporary solution. It can work ok in the beginning
if your employer is understanding and your position allows it.
It's much more difficult in a fast paced environment and does
not work well if you have a demanding infant. Is there any
chance your employer will allow you to work from home one or two
days per week?? That may work well, too. Also, I left
large centers off because I've used 3 seperate centers and in all
cases, my children were the sickest at the centers. IT's just
a fact that kids in daycare centers are more likely to have ear
infections, get RSV, rotovirus, and other icky illnesses, and just
generally be sicker. Also, I'd start looking even before you
become pregnant because good quality infant care is in high demand
every where. I just want to reiterate, too, that this is just
my opinion.<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0"> 
 
Good luck in your decision!! I hope you can find an
alternative that works well for your family.

concernedmom · Oct 11, 2006

Well, I don't have CF (new baby niece does); therefore, I
hated to respond. Since you don't have many replies, I
thought I'd give my 2¢. Although I, too, think it's best for
a parent to stay home, that's not always feasible for many
different reasons besides finances. In my experience, my
children have been healthiest when home with me or home with their
own sitter/family member. They've been sickest in the large
centers, even those with very strict sick policies. Just too
many kids! Obviously, the more often your child is sick, the
more likely you are to get sick. We've tried many
scenarios - my mother watched them, we did large centers, smaller
centers, in-home daycare arrangements, and I've taken them to work
with me. Alternatives that I think would
be more likely to keep you both healthy are: (1) nanny/single
babysitter. This can be accomplished with the
traditional "nanny for hire", or another route such as a
close personal friend or family member, or even a college student.
Is your DH working & going to school? If so, that
would be harder but if he's just going to school, you may be able
to use less than "full-time" care. My niece was a
part-time "nanny" her last two years of college for one
of her college profs and absolutely loved it! (2) share a nanny.
If you can find a family with one or two kids max who you can
share a nanny with, that may work and be more financially feasible.
The downside is with nannies, people tend to think the nanny
can still watch their child if he/she is sick which of course will
expose your child more. (3) small in-home
daycares. Preferably one with the fewest children
possible and a really good sick policy in place. The
main downside here is they tend to not be as well regulated as
large centers; therefore, quality varies wildly. Surprise
visits are important in any arrangement, center, nanny, or
small in-home daycares. Taking baby to work, in my opinion,
is only a temporary solution. It can work ok in the beginning
if your employer is understanding and your position allows it.
It's much more difficult in a fast paced environment and does
not work well if you have a demanding infant. Is there any
chance your employer will allow you to work from home one or two
days per week?? That may work well, too. Also, I left
large centers off because I've used 3 seperate centers and in all
cases, my children were the sickest at the centers. IT's just
a fact that kids in daycare centers are more likely to have ear
infections, get RSV, rotovirus, and other icky illnesses, and just
generally be sicker. Also, I'd start looking even before you
become pregnant because good quality infant care is in high demand
every where. I just want to reiterate, too, that this is just
my opinion.<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0"> 
 
Good luck in your decision!! I hope you can find an
alternative that works well for your family.

concernedmom · Oct 11, 2006

Well, I don't have CF (new baby niece does); therefore, I
hated to respond. Since you don't have many replies, I
thought I'd give my 2¢. Although I, too, think it's best for
a parent to stay home, that's not always feasible for many
different reasons besides finances. In my experience, my
children have been healthiest when home with me or home with their
own sitter/family member. They've been sickest in the large
centers, even those with very strict sick policies. Just too
many kids! Obviously, the more often your child is sick, the
more likely you are to get sick. We've tried many
scenarios - my mother watched them, we did large centers, smaller
centers, in-home daycare arrangements, and I've taken them to work
with me. Alternatives that I think would
be more likely to keep you both healthy are: (1) nanny/single
babysitter. This can be accomplished with the
traditional "nanny for hire", or another route such as a
close personal friend or family member, or even a college student.
Is your DH working & going to school? If so, that
would be harder but if he's just going to school, you may be able
to use less than "full-time" care. My niece was a
part-time "nanny" her last two years of college for one
of her college profs and absolutely loved it! (2) share a nanny.
If you can find a family with one or two kids max who you can
share a nanny with, that may work and be more financially feasible.
The downside is with nannies, people tend to think the nanny
can still watch their child if he/she is sick which of course will
expose your child more. (3) small in-home
daycares. Preferably one with the fewest children
possible and a really good sick policy in place. The
main downside here is they tend to not be as well regulated as
large centers; therefore, quality varies wildly. Surprise
visits are important in any arrangement, center, nanny, or
small in-home daycares. Taking baby to work, in my opinion,
is only a temporary solution. It can work ok in the beginning
if your employer is understanding and your position allows it.
It's much more difficult in a fast paced environment and does
not work well if you have a demanding infant. Is there any
chance your employer will allow you to work from home one or two
days per week?? That may work well, too. Also, I left
large centers off because I've used 3 seperate centers and in all
cases, my children were the sickest at the centers. IT's just
a fact that kids in daycare centers are more likely to have ear
infections, get RSV, rotovirus, and other icky illnesses, and just
generally be sicker. Also, I'd start looking even before you
become pregnant because good quality infant care is in high demand
every where. I just want to reiterate, too, that this is just
my opinion.<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0"> 
 
Good luck in your decision!! I hope you can find an
alternative that works well for your family.

JazzysMom · Oct 11, 2006

OK here is my version. I worked full time until 2 weeks before my daughters birth. I was out on disability for 5 months instead of the standard 6 weeks. During my leave I inquired (mainly thru work since I worked at our local hospital) about daycare that would take into thought my health & needs etc. We found a woman who had been doing daycare in her home for 20 years. She was reasonably priced & actually gave us a discount for the first year. She had about 10 kids all together, but half of them were part time. At that time I was the one carrying the insurance & that was the sole reason for my employment besides my mental health. By the time I paid for gas, daycare etc I didnt really have much $$ left for us. Jazmine was reasonably health during the 18 months that she went here. The only real problem I ever had was that my care provider was from a hispanic culture & believed many "myths" about things which caused me as a first time Mom to freak. I was on the phone many times with my daughters pediatrician (who use to be mine also) crying about her herniated belly button & what I was told I was doing to my daughter etc etc. My husband put a squash on that problem. She was to provide childcare, not healthcare or dx & unless she had PROOF instead of beliefs that we were hurting our child to stick to what she was paid for. My daughter had more health issues after starting school. Being my daycare provider was hispanic she also was teaching my daughter spanish at an early age. That was actually quite cool. OH one other thing that bothered me, but its a touchy subject also. She was teaching my daughter who Jesus was. I didnt address that because I wasnt ANTI jesus just not religious & didnt feel it was her spot to teach my daughter this. I just choice my battles & it wasnt hurting things or going against my beliefs etc. You can have this with anyone I guess. Jazmine loved going there & did miss it when I stopped working & she stopped going. My position at work only allowed so much flexibility tho my Supervisor tried to work with me as much as possible. Thankfully my husband also had flexibility so between us things worked out. I dropped my daughter off & he picked her up. I never had a problem if I had to call out etc. As far as all the other ??? you asked....I never really got that in depth. I addressed the whole thing with only a little bit of concern about my CF. The rest was just based on a woman who had to work for insurance & find daycare. Hope I helped a bit!

JazzysMom · Oct 11, 2006

OK here is my version. I worked full time until 2 weeks before my daughters birth. I was out on disability for 5 months instead of the standard 6 weeks. During my leave I inquired (mainly thru work since I worked at our local hospital) about daycare that would take into thought my health & needs etc. We found a woman who had been doing daycare in her home for 20 years. She was reasonably priced & actually gave us a discount for the first year. She had about 10 kids all together, but half of them were part time. At that time I was the one carrying the insurance & that was the sole reason for my employment besides my mental health. By the time I paid for gas, daycare etc I didnt really have much $$ left for us. Jazmine was reasonably health during the 18 months that she went here. The only real problem I ever had was that my care provider was from a hispanic culture & believed many "myths" about things which caused me as a first time Mom to freak. I was on the phone many times with my daughters pediatrician (who use to be mine also) crying about her herniated belly button & what I was told I was doing to my daughter etc etc. My husband put a squash on that problem. She was to provide childcare, not healthcare or dx & unless she had PROOF instead of beliefs that we were hurting our child to stick to what she was paid for. My daughter had more health issues after starting school. Being my daycare provider was hispanic she also was teaching my daughter spanish at an early age. That was actually quite cool. OH one other thing that bothered me, but its a touchy subject also. She was teaching my daughter who Jesus was. I didnt address that because I wasnt ANTI jesus just not religious & didnt feel it was her spot to teach my daughter this. I just choice my battles & it wasnt hurting things or going against my beliefs etc. You can have this with anyone I guess. Jazmine loved going there & did miss it when I stopped working & she stopped going. My position at work only allowed so much flexibility tho my Supervisor tried to work with me as much as possible. Thankfully my husband also had flexibility so between us things worked out. I dropped my daughter off & he picked her up. I never had a problem if I had to call out etc. As far as all the other ??? you asked....I never really got that in depth. I addressed the whole thing with only a little bit of concern about my CF. The rest was just based on a woman who had to work for insurance & find daycare. Hope I helped a bit!

JazzysMom · Oct 11, 2006

OK here is my version. I worked full time until 2 weeks before my daughters birth. I was out on disability for 5 months instead of the standard 6 weeks. During my leave I inquired (mainly thru work since I worked at our local hospital) about daycare that would take into thought my health & needs etc. We found a woman who had been doing daycare in her home for 20 years. She was reasonably priced & actually gave us a discount for the first year. She had about 10 kids all together, but half of them were part time. At that time I was the one carrying the insurance & that was the sole reason for my employment besides my mental health. By the time I paid for gas, daycare etc I didnt really have much $$ left for us. Jazmine was reasonably health during the 18 months that she went here. The only real problem I ever had was that my care provider was from a hispanic culture & believed many "myths" about things which caused me as a first time Mom to freak. I was on the phone many times with my daughters pediatrician (who use to be mine also) crying about her herniated belly button & what I was told I was doing to my daughter etc etc. My husband put a squash on that problem. She was to provide childcare, not healthcare or dx & unless she had PROOF instead of beliefs that we were hurting our child to stick to what she was paid for. My daughter had more health issues after starting school. Being my daycare provider was hispanic she also was teaching my daughter spanish at an early age. That was actually quite cool. OH one other thing that bothered me, but its a touchy subject also. She was teaching my daughter who Jesus was. I didnt address that because I wasnt ANTI jesus just not religious & didnt feel it was her spot to teach my daughter this. I just choice my battles & it wasnt hurting things or going against my beliefs etc. You can have this with anyone I guess. Jazmine loved going there & did miss it when I stopped working & she stopped going. My position at work only allowed so much flexibility tho my Supervisor tried to work with me as much as possible. Thankfully my husband also had flexibility so between us things worked out. I dropped my daughter off & he picked her up. I never had a problem if I had to call out etc. As far as all the other ??? you asked....I never really got that in depth. I addressed the whole thing with only a little bit of concern about my CF. The rest was just based on a woman who had to work for insurance & find daycare. Hope I helped a bit!

nikkig · Oct 11, 2006

I am also not a mom but my niece does have CF and my sister was goping through the same thing. One of my friends moms has a in home daycare with about 4 kids which is great not around to many kids and a very close driving distance. She also recieves help through the state for paying for it....I think she has to pay like $14 a week which is a really big help because what is the point of working if you have tyo give it all up at the end of the week. I live in RI I am not sure what the program is called but I could find out for you if someone else on here doesn't know. Hope this helps!

nikkig · Oct 11, 2006

I am also not a mom but my niece does have CF and my sister was goping through the same thing. One of my friends moms has a in home daycare with about 4 kids which is great not around to many kids and a very close driving distance. She also recieves help through the state for paying for it....I think she has to pay like $14 a week which is a really big help because what is the point of working if you have tyo give it all up at the end of the week. I live in RI I am not sure what the program is called but I could find out for you if someone else on here doesn't know. Hope this helps!

Daycare for my child as a mother with CF

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