death

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momofjosh

New member
Tomorrow it will be 3 weeks since my son Josh passed, it is getting harder instead of easier. I know it is still so soon, but I can't stand how I feel!! It hurts so much!!!! I don't want to think of him because I keep crying, but I want to think of him and look at pictures because I miss him so much! I still can't believe I won't ever be seeing him or talking to him again. Someone told me it would be worse 2-3 weeks after he died and this week is horrible! My mind is constantly thinking and I can't concentrate at work. I like to talk here because I know people know exactly how I feel. A lot of other people can't even imagine. This is so much harder than I ever thought it would be!!!! Sorry if I keep repeating myself, but I don't know what to do????
Thanks for listening....anyone!

momofjosh
 
M

momofjosh

New member
Tomorrow it will be 3 weeks since my son Josh passed, it is getting harder instead of easier. I know it is still so soon, but I can't stand how I feel!! It hurts so much!!!! I don't want to think of him because I keep crying, but I want to think of him and look at pictures because I miss him so much! I still can't believe I won't ever be seeing him or talking to him again. Someone told me it would be worse 2-3 weeks after he died and this week is horrible! My mind is constantly thinking and I can't concentrate at work. I like to talk here because I know people know exactly how I feel. A lot of other people can't even imagine. This is so much harder than I ever thought it would be!!!! Sorry if I keep repeating myself, but I don't know what to do????
Thanks for listening....anyone!

momofjosh
 
A

anonymous

New member
Talk away, cry, scream, throw things, look at his pictures, make a tribute to him - whatever it takes for you to heal!! There is no <b>right</b> way to grieve, just do what you need to do to help yourself heal. Our prayers and sympathies are with you. Post anytime you feel like it. We care!
 
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anonymous

New member
Talk away, cry, scream, throw things, look at his pictures, make a tribute to him - whatever it takes for you to heal!! There is no <b>right</b> way to grieve, just do what you need to do to help yourself heal. Our prayers and sympathies are with you. Post anytime you feel like it. We care!
 
A

Allie

New member
I know what you mean, just wanting to crawl out of your skin and go somewhere else for a while. There really is no 'right' advice, as we are all different. Do whatever feels right for you. Even though you miss him, know that Josh is with you, even when you feel most alone. Recite it like a mantra. The ones we love never truly leave us, it just seems that way to our untrained eyes. Of course, it's easier to say that down the road... The shock has worn off, is why it's so much harder. THe realization is setting in.

I'll be thinking of you and praying for you.
 
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Allie

New member
I know what you mean, just wanting to crawl out of your skin and go somewhere else for a while. There really is no 'right' advice, as we are all different. Do whatever feels right for you. Even though you miss him, know that Josh is with you, even when you feel most alone. Recite it like a mantra. The ones we love never truly leave us, it just seems that way to our untrained eyes. Of course, it's easier to say that down the road... The shock has worn off, is why it's so much harder. THe realization is setting in.

I'll be thinking of you and praying for you.
 
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eli

New member
I am so so sorry to hear of your loss, and can imagine how you must be hurting.
But you have other children and you need to stay strong for them, they will need you now more than ever.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family!
 
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eli

New member
I am so so sorry to hear of your loss, and can imagine how you must be hurting.
But you have other children and you need to stay strong for them, they will need you now more than ever.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family!
 
A

anonymous

New member
Tears

There is sacredness in tears,
They are not the mark of weakness,
But of power.
They speak more eloquently
of deep contrition.
They are messengers
Of overwhelming grief,
And of unspeakable love.

Washington Irving
 
A

anonymous

New member
Tears

There is sacredness in tears,
They are not the mark of weakness,
But of power.
They speak more eloquently
of deep contrition.
They are messengers
Of overwhelming grief,
And of unspeakable love.

Washington Irving
 
J

JennifersHope

New member
Hi,

I just wanted to add to the mix ...My mom recently lost her husband which is way different than losing a child but she told me she hates it when people say to her how sorry they are. it makes her feel sad .....she said that she likes it when people remind her..how blessed she was to have a husband like she did, how even though their time together was cut wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy short, that the time they had was so very precious.

I don't know how you feel, and I can't imagine the agony you are in. I don't think anyone can, unless they lost a child......I have CF myself, but I also have a few people that I have come to love with more love then I knew I had in me that also have CF.... I am watching them suffer now and I would do anything to take their pain and suffering away..What helps me is, knowing that because of the CF our relationship is so much closer, so much more special...because we don't take everyday for granted... I am like that with all my relationships..esp the people I am closest to...

I guess I am trying to say, that being Joshs mom, knowing that he had CF and that his time on earth was going to be cut short, your relationship and time together was all that more special and close....much more then most parent/child relationships could ever be in a hundred years together... You know that he knows how much you loved him..he saw you be there for him day in and day out. You have good memories to hold on to.. You can keep Josh alive in your heart...If my loved ones out live me...I would really want them to go on living for me and do the things I wasn't able to do...I would be sad if they stopped living life...

This is so new for you, I agree it isn't anything that will every go away but I am going to pray that you are able to stop aching so bad, and that you will be able to hold on to all the memories and most importantly to Joshs strenth and courage.

I wish I could hug you, Please keep posting, venting, and sharing your journey with us......

Love..
Jennifer
 
J

JennifersHope

New member
Hi,

I just wanted to add to the mix ...My mom recently lost her husband which is way different than losing a child but she told me she hates it when people say to her how sorry they are. it makes her feel sad .....she said that she likes it when people remind her..how blessed she was to have a husband like she did, how even though their time together was cut wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy short, that the time they had was so very precious.

I don't know how you feel, and I can't imagine the agony you are in. I don't think anyone can, unless they lost a child......I have CF myself, but I also have a few people that I have come to love with more love then I knew I had in me that also have CF.... I am watching them suffer now and I would do anything to take their pain and suffering away..What helps me is, knowing that because of the CF our relationship is so much closer, so much more special...because we don't take everyday for granted... I am like that with all my relationships..esp the people I am closest to...

I guess I am trying to say, that being Joshs mom, knowing that he had CF and that his time on earth was going to be cut short, your relationship and time together was all that more special and close....much more then most parent/child relationships could ever be in a hundred years together... You know that he knows how much you loved him..he saw you be there for him day in and day out. You have good memories to hold on to.. You can keep Josh alive in your heart...If my loved ones out live me...I would really want them to go on living for me and do the things I wasn't able to do...I would be sad if they stopped living life...

This is so new for you, I agree it isn't anything that will every go away but I am going to pray that you are able to stop aching so bad, and that you will be able to hold on to all the memories and most importantly to Joshs strenth and courage.

I wish I could hug you, Please keep posting, venting, and sharing your journey with us......

Love..
Jennifer
 
L

Landy

New member
There will always be a void in your heart and Josh will always be missed but the grief will get easier to handle as time passes. I know this seems hard to believe at this time.
It also would help to join some type of support group so that you can talk to others that are going through the same feelings that you are. Are there any support groups that you are aware of in your area for parents that have lost their children?
Thinking of you.
 
L

Landy

New member
There will always be a void in your heart and Josh will always be missed but the grief will get easier to handle as time passes. I know this seems hard to believe at this time.
It also would help to join some type of support group so that you can talk to others that are going through the same feelings that you are. Are there any support groups that you are aware of in your area for parents that have lost their children?
Thinking of you.
 
A

anonymous

New member
MomofJosh

I'm so sorry for your loss. There realy are no words to say.
3 weeks is not a very long time. Your body/mind is still in shock, your grief is so new and raw. It doesn't matter if your son was ill for a long time or a short time or you think your prepared for his death, your not. Losing a child is not in the normal order of nature.
I didn't loss a child to CF, I lost my son to an accident. I have a grandbaby with cf.
Don't try to "get over" your son's death. You won't. In time you will learn to live with his death, incorporate it into your life. In time. Don't let people tell you that you need to get rid of his things, or pack up his room. You do what you feel is right when the time is right.
For now your job is to grieve for your son. Talk about him, his life, his death, Josh, talk about Josh and talk about him some more.
Everyone's time table is different. Don't let anyone tell you it's time to stop greiving and to get on with your life. Only you can know what's good for you. Be selfish if you need to. Take your time, it hurts, it hurts like nothing you could ever imagine. It hurts so much because you loved so much.
Josh is your son and he is special to you and deserves to be mourned. Don't be ashamed to cry for him and for yourself. Tears are healing.
I lost my son 4 1/2 years ago, it still hurts, not as deeply as at first but I don't think it ever goes completely away. I joined an online parents grief group that was a life line. It helps to talk with others who have experienced this type of loss.
Again I am so sorry. Take it slow, one day at a time as they say.
I'll light a candle for Josh tonight

Emily
 
A

anonymous

New member
MomofJosh

I'm so sorry for your loss. There realy are no words to say.
3 weeks is not a very long time. Your body/mind is still in shock, your grief is so new and raw. It doesn't matter if your son was ill for a long time or a short time or you think your prepared for his death, your not. Losing a child is not in the normal order of nature.
I didn't loss a child to CF, I lost my son to an accident. I have a grandbaby with cf.
Don't try to "get over" your son's death. You won't. In time you will learn to live with his death, incorporate it into your life. In time. Don't let people tell you that you need to get rid of his things, or pack up his room. You do what you feel is right when the time is right.
For now your job is to grieve for your son. Talk about him, his life, his death, Josh, talk about Josh and talk about him some more.
Everyone's time table is different. Don't let anyone tell you it's time to stop greiving and to get on with your life. Only you can know what's good for you. Be selfish if you need to. Take your time, it hurts, it hurts like nothing you could ever imagine. It hurts so much because you loved so much.
Josh is your son and he is special to you and deserves to be mourned. Don't be ashamed to cry for him and for yourself. Tears are healing.
I lost my son 4 1/2 years ago, it still hurts, not as deeply as at first but I don't think it ever goes completely away. I joined an online parents grief group that was a life line. It helps to talk with others who have experienced this type of loss.
Again I am so sorry. Take it slow, one day at a time as they say.
I'll light a candle for Josh tonight

Emily
 
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