I've been having trouble with depression since I turned 18, sometimes its worse, sometimes its better but it still sucks. My docs tried to get me to talk to someone and tried to give me anitdepressants but I refused. Recently I started having horrible anxiety attackes a couple of times a day, I got to the point where all I could think about was taking my sleeping pills so I could sleep and not have to think about anything. I finally talked to my doc about it and she gave me some anti-anxiety meds. Let me tell you, what a difference! I haven't felt this good in a long time, I'm happy, I get out and do stuff, I actually do all my meds, I don't cry all the time anymore, etc. I know meds or therapy isn't for everyone but its worth talking to your doc about. I was miserable for so long and now that I know its possible to feel so good I wish I would have said something a long time ago. If you want to talk send me a pm. Feel better!