Yeah definitely tell her if she looks up things online not to believe everything she reads, there is a lot of out of date info out there! I've told people before that I have lung problems and that I get infections easier and that's why I have to take medicines and do ivs. That may be a good way to start for you. I wish you all the luck and I'm sure you'll feel a huge relief! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
desperately need advice
- Thread starter rayoflight
- Start date
You have already received some great advice, I only wanted to add that your best friend may have a better idea of what is going on in your life that you think. People sometimes pick up on clues but do not feel comfortable probing. Since you are so private and she is your bff, you probably share this trait, hence the no confrontation 
She may not know exactly what is wrong, but she has likely already googled "trouble digesting food" and "lung infections." It is possible that she is waiting patiently for you to share with her what is going on with you. She may have a few secrets she has not wanted to burden you with because you haven't been in the right place to hear them.
I hope you can find some peace with this issue and with your friend. Despite not sharing this info, you sound like you have a wonderful friendship. Congratulations!
She may not know exactly what is wrong, but she has likely already googled "trouble digesting food" and "lung infections." It is possible that she is waiting patiently for you to share with her what is going on with you. She may have a few secrets she has not wanted to burden you with because you haven't been in the right place to hear them.
I hope you can find some peace with this issue and with your friend. Despite not sharing this info, you sound like you have a wonderful friendship. Congratulations!
You have already received some great advice, I only wanted to add that your best friend may have a better idea of what is going on in your life that you think. People sometimes pick up on clues but do not feel comfortable probing. Since you are so private and she is your bff, you probably share this trait, hence the no confrontation
She may not know exactly what is wrong, but she has likely already googled "trouble digesting food" and "lung infections." It is possible that she is waiting patiently for you to share with her what is going on with you. She may have a few secrets she has not wanted to burden you with because you haven't been in the right place to hear them.
I hope you can find some peace with this issue and with your friend. Despite not sharing this info, you sound like you have a wonderful friendship. Congratulations!
She may not know exactly what is wrong, but she has likely already googled "trouble digesting food" and "lung infections." It is possible that she is waiting patiently for you to share with her what is going on with you. She may have a few secrets she has not wanted to burden you with because you haven't been in the right place to hear them.
I hope you can find some peace with this issue and with your friend. Despite not sharing this info, you sound like you have a wonderful friendship. Congratulations!
You have already received some great advice, I only wanted to add that your best friend may have a better idea of what is going on in your life that you think. People sometimes pick up on clues but do not feel comfortable probing. Since you are so private and she is your bff, you probably share this trait, hence the no confrontation
<br />
<br />She may not know exactly what is wrong, but she has likely already googled "trouble digesting food" and "lung infections." It is possible that she is waiting patiently for you to share with her what is going on with you. She may have a few secrets she has not wanted to burden you with because you haven't been in the right place to hear them.
<br />
<br />I hope you can find some peace with this issue and with your friend. Despite not sharing this info, you sound like you have a wonderful friendship. Congratulations!
<br />
<br />She may not know exactly what is wrong, but she has likely already googled "trouble digesting food" and "lung infections." It is possible that she is waiting patiently for you to share with her what is going on with you. She may have a few secrets she has not wanted to burden you with because you haven't been in the right place to hear them.
<br />
<br />I hope you can find some peace with this issue and with your friend. Despite not sharing this info, you sound like you have a wonderful friendship. Congratulations!
Melissa (and everybody else) is absolutely right. I was in the exact same place you are right now. I have always been very private about my CF and I can count on one hand the people in my close personal life who know about it. Until about a year ago, I hadn't told my absolute best friend either. She knew I had "asthma" and took "vitamins" but beyond that I did a VERY good job of keeping it a secret. It started as me just not wanting anybody to know, and then it became an issue of the reaction I'd get after keeping such a huge secret from somebody who I had been so close to for so many years. I was afraid that she would be angry or hurt that I had kept it from her, and that she would be scared for my health, and that it would just change our relationship in some unexplainably terrible way.
Finally, after battling with the prospect of talking to her for months, I called her and asked her to go out to lunch with me. I was very upfront and told her that there was something important I needed to talk to her about, and I asked her to not react until I had finished explaining everything. I told her that it was really scary for me to talk about and that I hoped she would forgive me for keeping it from her... and then I spit everything out. Do you know what her response was? "Yeah, I know. I don't know how I knew, but it's one of those things that I've always known in the back of my mind." Of course she didn't know the specifics of my situation, but she was completely unfazed and calm about it all. If anything, it has strengthened our friendship. In the past year she has been there through the good and the VERY bad with me and taken it all in stride... I honestly don't know what I would've done in the past year without her support on the CF side of things. She has done a lot of research, yes, but along with my explanation of the reality of the disease I think she has been able to sort out the good information from the scary, outdated information on the internet. She has gone to clinic with me and visited me regularly in the hospital.
I hope that my story can give you a little bit of confidence to talk to your friend. I understand just how overwhelming "the talk" can be, but the more you worry about it and the longer you wait to have the conversation, the harder it will be for both of you. Good luck! I wish you the strength to have the conversation because I know you will be just fine, if not better afterwards.
Finally, after battling with the prospect of talking to her for months, I called her and asked her to go out to lunch with me. I was very upfront and told her that there was something important I needed to talk to her about, and I asked her to not react until I had finished explaining everything. I told her that it was really scary for me to talk about and that I hoped she would forgive me for keeping it from her... and then I spit everything out. Do you know what her response was? "Yeah, I know. I don't know how I knew, but it's one of those things that I've always known in the back of my mind." Of course she didn't know the specifics of my situation, but she was completely unfazed and calm about it all. If anything, it has strengthened our friendship. In the past year she has been there through the good and the VERY bad with me and taken it all in stride... I honestly don't know what I would've done in the past year without her support on the CF side of things. She has done a lot of research, yes, but along with my explanation of the reality of the disease I think she has been able to sort out the good information from the scary, outdated information on the internet. She has gone to clinic with me and visited me regularly in the hospital.
I hope that my story can give you a little bit of confidence to talk to your friend. I understand just how overwhelming "the talk" can be, but the more you worry about it and the longer you wait to have the conversation, the harder it will be for both of you. Good luck! I wish you the strength to have the conversation because I know you will be just fine, if not better afterwards.
Melissa (and everybody else) is absolutely right. I was in the exact same place you are right now. I have always been very private about my CF and I can count on one hand the people in my close personal life who know about it. Until about a year ago, I hadn't told my absolute best friend either. She knew I had "asthma" and took "vitamins" but beyond that I did a VERY good job of keeping it a secret. It started as me just not wanting anybody to know, and then it became an issue of the reaction I'd get after keeping such a huge secret from somebody who I had been so close to for so many years. I was afraid that she would be angry or hurt that I had kept it from her, and that she would be scared for my health, and that it would just change our relationship in some unexplainably terrible way.
Finally, after battling with the prospect of talking to her for months, I called her and asked her to go out to lunch with me. I was very upfront and told her that there was something important I needed to talk to her about, and I asked her to not react until I had finished explaining everything. I told her that it was really scary for me to talk about and that I hoped she would forgive me for keeping it from her... and then I spit everything out. Do you know what her response was? "Yeah, I know. I don't know how I knew, but it's one of those things that I've always known in the back of my mind." Of course she didn't know the specifics of my situation, but she was completely unfazed and calm about it all. If anything, it has strengthened our friendship. In the past year she has been there through the good and the VERY bad with me and taken it all in stride... I honestly don't know what I would've done in the past year without her support on the CF side of things. She has done a lot of research, yes, but along with my explanation of the reality of the disease I think she has been able to sort out the good information from the scary, outdated information on the internet. She has gone to clinic with me and visited me regularly in the hospital.
I hope that my story can give you a little bit of confidence to talk to your friend. I understand just how overwhelming "the talk" can be, but the more you worry about it and the longer you wait to have the conversation, the harder it will be for both of you. Good luck! I wish you the strength to have the conversation because I know you will be just fine, if not better afterwards.
Finally, after battling with the prospect of talking to her for months, I called her and asked her to go out to lunch with me. I was very upfront and told her that there was something important I needed to talk to her about, and I asked her to not react until I had finished explaining everything. I told her that it was really scary for me to talk about and that I hoped she would forgive me for keeping it from her... and then I spit everything out. Do you know what her response was? "Yeah, I know. I don't know how I knew, but it's one of those things that I've always known in the back of my mind." Of course she didn't know the specifics of my situation, but she was completely unfazed and calm about it all. If anything, it has strengthened our friendship. In the past year she has been there through the good and the VERY bad with me and taken it all in stride... I honestly don't know what I would've done in the past year without her support on the CF side of things. She has done a lot of research, yes, but along with my explanation of the reality of the disease I think she has been able to sort out the good information from the scary, outdated information on the internet. She has gone to clinic with me and visited me regularly in the hospital.
I hope that my story can give you a little bit of confidence to talk to your friend. I understand just how overwhelming "the talk" can be, but the more you worry about it and the longer you wait to have the conversation, the harder it will be for both of you. Good luck! I wish you the strength to have the conversation because I know you will be just fine, if not better afterwards.
Melissa (and everybody else) is absolutely right. I was in the exact same place you are right now. I have always been very private about my CF and I can count on one hand the people in my close personal life who know about it. Until about a year ago, I hadn't told my absolute best friend either. She knew I had "asthma" and took "vitamins" but beyond that I did a VERY good job of keeping it a secret. It started as me just not wanting anybody to know, and then it became an issue of the reaction I'd get after keeping such a huge secret from somebody who I had been so close to for so many years. I was afraid that she would be angry or hurt that I had kept it from her, and that she would be scared for my health, and that it would just change our relationship in some unexplainably terrible way.
<br />
<br />Finally, after battling with the prospect of talking to her for months, I called her and asked her to go out to lunch with me. I was very upfront and told her that there was something important I needed to talk to her about, and I asked her to not react until I had finished explaining everything. I told her that it was really scary for me to talk about and that I hoped she would forgive me for keeping it from her... and then I spit everything out. Do you know what her response was? "Yeah, I know. I don't know how I knew, but it's one of those things that I've always known in the back of my mind." Of course she didn't know the specifics of my situation, but she was completely unfazed and calm about it all. If anything, it has strengthened our friendship. In the past year she has been there through the good and the VERY bad with me and taken it all in stride... I honestly don't know what I would've done in the past year without her support on the CF side of things. She has done a lot of research, yes, but along with my explanation of the reality of the disease I think she has been able to sort out the good information from the scary, outdated information on the internet. She has gone to clinic with me and visited me regularly in the hospital.
<br />
<br />I hope that my story can give you a little bit of confidence to talk to your friend. I understand just how overwhelming "the talk" can be, but the more you worry about it and the longer you wait to have the conversation, the harder it will be for both of you. Good luck! I wish you the strength to have the conversation because I know you will be just fine, if not better afterwards.
<br />
<br />Finally, after battling with the prospect of talking to her for months, I called her and asked her to go out to lunch with me. I was very upfront and told her that there was something important I needed to talk to her about, and I asked her to not react until I had finished explaining everything. I told her that it was really scary for me to talk about and that I hoped she would forgive me for keeping it from her... and then I spit everything out. Do you know what her response was? "Yeah, I know. I don't know how I knew, but it's one of those things that I've always known in the back of my mind." Of course she didn't know the specifics of my situation, but she was completely unfazed and calm about it all. If anything, it has strengthened our friendship. In the past year she has been there through the good and the VERY bad with me and taken it all in stride... I honestly don't know what I would've done in the past year without her support on the CF side of things. She has done a lot of research, yes, but along with my explanation of the reality of the disease I think she has been able to sort out the good information from the scary, outdated information on the internet. She has gone to clinic with me and visited me regularly in the hospital.
<br />
<br />I hope that my story can give you a little bit of confidence to talk to your friend. I understand just how overwhelming "the talk" can be, but the more you worry about it and the longer you wait to have the conversation, the harder it will be for both of you. Good luck! I wish you the strength to have the conversation because I know you will be just fine, if not better afterwards.
rayoflight
New member
As I was reading your answers I started to cry, I am still tearing up, I just can't calm myself these past 3 days, isn't that weird, for 21 years i lived with this "normally", never bothered that much that I am keeping this a secret ( I realize though it was always in the back of my mind that it is wrong to hide it, at least from her)and now its all so hard, like I suddenly realized how wrong and weird it is to keep this from her. I just wish i could turn back time and tell her when we started hanging out, it would be so much easier...
I haven't slept all night, then I got out of bed and went to psychiatrist i was seeing when I had really bad anxiety and panic attacks. I told her that this is bothering me more than ever and I started tearing up again. I think this is the hardest thing I had to do in my life, really. She told me I should tell her, and that we will probably be even closer than now. And she told me I should start with I have weak lungs and then maybe later tell her the real name and diagnosis. step by step. But if I tell her that she will want to know the name and absolutely everything which is understandable. I just feel so weird and sad an just want to cry, when I came back from psychiatrist I went to sleep because I was exhausted. Later she called me, we talked on the phone a bit and I felt so awful, like a cheater or something. I always told to myself-I will tell her when something bad happens, and when theres no way to keep it anymore. I am scared her perception of me will change, I won't be her best friend T(my nickname) anymore, I would be her best friend T who has CF. I never wanted to be known as "that girl who has cf" I can say am funny, smart and social and people love because of that and know me like that. Not as a girl who has a disease.
I want to talk to my mom about this to hear her advice too, but I don't want to worry her, to let her see how bad I feel. Because, like I said, past year I really was in hell with anxiety and panic and I managed to get myself out of that dark place, found a job that I loved, was doing great, and now to tell her I feel down and bad would make her worry about me again and I don't want that. I always worry about her worrying about me,but gain, I really feel the need to talk to her and hear her advice. I am afraid I will break soon and start crying in front of her. I just want to sleep because I don't have to think about all this when I sleep. I cant believe that just on Sunday I was feeling great and then on Monday went on my regular appointment, had a test where i was driving a bike for 10 minutes( I remember thinking, here I am, riding a bike, had all this medical stuff attached to me, and my friend has no idea, and it felt wrong even though I went on appointment thousand times, this time I felt bad) and they were taking my blood and checking my PFT's, my pressure before and after riding a bike,and everything was ok thank god,I got home,went to sleep, woke up and then it started, the thought I had to tell her. It just felt soo random and so sudden that need to admit to her.
And the worse thing is that she had some health problems 2 years ago and went to hospital, had an operation, she had stones in gall bladder and she shared everything with me and I never shared my problem, that makes me feel even worse, she will feel betrayed. I just hope she will find understanding and forgive me eventually and still look at me the same and not feel sorry for me...<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0">
I haven't slept all night, then I got out of bed and went to psychiatrist i was seeing when I had really bad anxiety and panic attacks. I told her that this is bothering me more than ever and I started tearing up again. I think this is the hardest thing I had to do in my life, really. She told me I should tell her, and that we will probably be even closer than now. And she told me I should start with I have weak lungs and then maybe later tell her the real name and diagnosis. step by step. But if I tell her that she will want to know the name and absolutely everything which is understandable. I just feel so weird and sad an just want to cry, when I came back from psychiatrist I went to sleep because I was exhausted. Later she called me, we talked on the phone a bit and I felt so awful, like a cheater or something. I always told to myself-I will tell her when something bad happens, and when theres no way to keep it anymore. I am scared her perception of me will change, I won't be her best friend T(my nickname) anymore, I would be her best friend T who has CF. I never wanted to be known as "that girl who has cf" I can say am funny, smart and social and people love because of that and know me like that. Not as a girl who has a disease.
I want to talk to my mom about this to hear her advice too, but I don't want to worry her, to let her see how bad I feel. Because, like I said, past year I really was in hell with anxiety and panic and I managed to get myself out of that dark place, found a job that I loved, was doing great, and now to tell her I feel down and bad would make her worry about me again and I don't want that. I always worry about her worrying about me,but gain, I really feel the need to talk to her and hear her advice. I am afraid I will break soon and start crying in front of her. I just want to sleep because I don't have to think about all this when I sleep. I cant believe that just on Sunday I was feeling great and then on Monday went on my regular appointment, had a test where i was driving a bike for 10 minutes( I remember thinking, here I am, riding a bike, had all this medical stuff attached to me, and my friend has no idea, and it felt wrong even though I went on appointment thousand times, this time I felt bad) and they were taking my blood and checking my PFT's, my pressure before and after riding a bike,and everything was ok thank god,I got home,went to sleep, woke up and then it started, the thought I had to tell her. It just felt soo random and so sudden that need to admit to her.
And the worse thing is that she had some health problems 2 years ago and went to hospital, had an operation, she had stones in gall bladder and she shared everything with me and I never shared my problem, that makes me feel even worse, she will feel betrayed. I just hope she will find understanding and forgive me eventually and still look at me the same and not feel sorry for me...<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0">
rayoflight
New member
As I was reading your answers I started to cry, I am still tearing up, I just can't calm myself these past 3 days, isn't that weird, for 21 years i lived with this "normally", never bothered that much that I am keeping this a secret ( I realize though it was always in the back of my mind that it is wrong to hide it, at least from her)and now its all so hard, like I suddenly realized how wrong and weird it is to keep this from her. I just wish i could turn back time and tell her when we started hanging out, it would be so much easier...
I haven't slept all night, then I got out of bed and went to psychiatrist i was seeing when I had really bad anxiety and panic attacks. I told her that this is bothering me more than ever and I started tearing up again. I think this is the hardest thing I had to do in my life, really. She told me I should tell her, and that we will probably be even closer than now. And she told me I should start with I have weak lungs and then maybe later tell her the real name and diagnosis. step by step. But if I tell her that she will want to know the name and absolutely everything which is understandable. I just feel so weird and sad an just want to cry, when I came back from psychiatrist I went to sleep because I was exhausted. Later she called me, we talked on the phone a bit and I felt so awful, like a cheater or something. I always told to myself-I will tell her when something bad happens, and when theres no way to keep it anymore. I am scared her perception of me will change, I won't be her best friend T(my nickname) anymore, I would be her best friend T who has CF. I never wanted to be known as "that girl who has cf" I can say am funny, smart and social and people love because of that and know me like that. Not as a girl who has a disease.
I want to talk to my mom about this to hear her advice too, but I don't want to worry her, to let her see how bad I feel. Because, like I said, past year I really was in hell with anxiety and panic and I managed to get myself out of that dark place, found a job that I loved, was doing great, and now to tell her I feel down and bad would make her worry about me again and I don't want that. I always worry about her worrying about me,but gain, I really feel the need to talk to her and hear her advice. I am afraid I will break soon and start crying in front of her. I just want to sleep because I don't have to think about all this when I sleep. I cant believe that just on Sunday I was feeling great and then on Monday went on my regular appointment, had a test where i was driving a bike for 10 minutes( I remember thinking, here I am, riding a bike, had all this medical stuff attached to me, and my friend has no idea, and it felt wrong even though I went on appointment thousand times, this time I felt bad) and they were taking my blood and checking my PFT's, my pressure before and after riding a bike,and everything was ok thank god,I got home,went to sleep, woke up and then it started, the thought I had to tell her. It just felt soo random and so sudden that need to admit to her.
And the worse thing is that she had some health problems 2 years ago and went to hospital, had an operation, she had stones in gall bladder and she shared everything with me and I never shared my problem, that makes me feel even worse, she will feel betrayed. I just hope she will find understanding and forgive me eventually and still look at me the same and not feel sorry for me...<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0">
I haven't slept all night, then I got out of bed and went to psychiatrist i was seeing when I had really bad anxiety and panic attacks. I told her that this is bothering me more than ever and I started tearing up again. I think this is the hardest thing I had to do in my life, really. She told me I should tell her, and that we will probably be even closer than now. And she told me I should start with I have weak lungs and then maybe later tell her the real name and diagnosis. step by step. But if I tell her that she will want to know the name and absolutely everything which is understandable. I just feel so weird and sad an just want to cry, when I came back from psychiatrist I went to sleep because I was exhausted. Later she called me, we talked on the phone a bit and I felt so awful, like a cheater or something. I always told to myself-I will tell her when something bad happens, and when theres no way to keep it anymore. I am scared her perception of me will change, I won't be her best friend T(my nickname) anymore, I would be her best friend T who has CF. I never wanted to be known as "that girl who has cf" I can say am funny, smart and social and people love because of that and know me like that. Not as a girl who has a disease.
I want to talk to my mom about this to hear her advice too, but I don't want to worry her, to let her see how bad I feel. Because, like I said, past year I really was in hell with anxiety and panic and I managed to get myself out of that dark place, found a job that I loved, was doing great, and now to tell her I feel down and bad would make her worry about me again and I don't want that. I always worry about her worrying about me,but gain, I really feel the need to talk to her and hear her advice. I am afraid I will break soon and start crying in front of her. I just want to sleep because I don't have to think about all this when I sleep. I cant believe that just on Sunday I was feeling great and then on Monday went on my regular appointment, had a test where i was driving a bike for 10 minutes( I remember thinking, here I am, riding a bike, had all this medical stuff attached to me, and my friend has no idea, and it felt wrong even though I went on appointment thousand times, this time I felt bad) and they were taking my blood and checking my PFT's, my pressure before and after riding a bike,and everything was ok thank god,I got home,went to sleep, woke up and then it started, the thought I had to tell her. It just felt soo random and so sudden that need to admit to her.
And the worse thing is that she had some health problems 2 years ago and went to hospital, had an operation, she had stones in gall bladder and she shared everything with me and I never shared my problem, that makes me feel even worse, she will feel betrayed. I just hope she will find understanding and forgive me eventually and still look at me the same and not feel sorry for me...<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0">
rayoflight
New member
As I was reading your answers I started to cry, I am still tearing up, I just can't calm myself these past 3 days, isn't that weird, for 21 years i lived with this "normally", never bothered that much that I am keeping this a secret ( I realize though it was always in the back of my mind that it is wrong to hide it, at least from her)and now its all so hard, like I suddenly realized how wrong and weird it is to keep this from her. I just wish i could turn back time and tell her when we started hanging out, it would be so much easier...
<br />I haven't slept all night, then I got out of bed and went to psychiatrist i was seeing when I had really bad anxiety and panic attacks. I told her that this is bothering me more than ever and I started tearing up again. I think this is the hardest thing I had to do in my life, really. She told me I should tell her, and that we will probably be even closer than now. And she told me I should start with I have weak lungs and then maybe later tell her the real name and diagnosis. step by step. But if I tell her that she will want to know the name and absolutely everything which is understandable. I just feel so weird and sad an just want to cry, when I came back from psychiatrist I went to sleep because I was exhausted. Later she called me, we talked on the phone a bit and I felt so awful, like a cheater or something. I always told to myself-I will tell her when something bad happens, and when theres no way to keep it anymore. I am scared her perception of me will change, I won't be her best friend T(my nickname) anymore, I would be her best friend T who has CF. I never wanted to be known as "that girl who has cf" I can say am funny, smart and social and people love because of that and know me like that. Not as a girl who has a disease.
<br />I want to talk to my mom about this to hear her advice too, but I don't want to worry her, to let her see how bad I feel. Because, like I said, past year I really was in hell with anxiety and panic and I managed to get myself out of that dark place, found a job that I loved, was doing great, and now to tell her I feel down and bad would make her worry about me again and I don't want that. I always worry about her worrying about me,but gain, I really feel the need to talk to her and hear her advice. I am afraid I will break soon and start crying in front of her. I just want to sleep because I don't have to think about all this when I sleep. I cant believe that just on Sunday I was feeling great and then on Monday went on my regular appointment, had a test where i was driving a bike for 10 minutes( I remember thinking, here I am, riding a bike, had all this medical stuff attached to me, and my friend has no idea, and it felt wrong even though I went on appointment thousand times, this time I felt bad) and they were taking my blood and checking my PFT's, my pressure before and after riding a bike,and everything was ok thank god,I got home,went to sleep, woke up and then it started, the thought I had to tell her. It just felt soo random and so sudden that need to admit to her.
<br />And the worse thing is that she had some health problems 2 years ago and went to hospital, had an operation, she had stones in gall bladder and she shared everything with me and I never shared my problem, that makes me feel even worse, she will feel betrayed. I just hope she will find understanding and forgive me eventually and still look at me the same and not feel sorry for me...<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0">
<br />I haven't slept all night, then I got out of bed and went to psychiatrist i was seeing when I had really bad anxiety and panic attacks. I told her that this is bothering me more than ever and I started tearing up again. I think this is the hardest thing I had to do in my life, really. She told me I should tell her, and that we will probably be even closer than now. And she told me I should start with I have weak lungs and then maybe later tell her the real name and diagnosis. step by step. But if I tell her that she will want to know the name and absolutely everything which is understandable. I just feel so weird and sad an just want to cry, when I came back from psychiatrist I went to sleep because I was exhausted. Later she called me, we talked on the phone a bit and I felt so awful, like a cheater or something. I always told to myself-I will tell her when something bad happens, and when theres no way to keep it anymore. I am scared her perception of me will change, I won't be her best friend T(my nickname) anymore, I would be her best friend T who has CF. I never wanted to be known as "that girl who has cf" I can say am funny, smart and social and people love because of that and know me like that. Not as a girl who has a disease.
<br />I want to talk to my mom about this to hear her advice too, but I don't want to worry her, to let her see how bad I feel. Because, like I said, past year I really was in hell with anxiety and panic and I managed to get myself out of that dark place, found a job that I loved, was doing great, and now to tell her I feel down and bad would make her worry about me again and I don't want that. I always worry about her worrying about me,but gain, I really feel the need to talk to her and hear her advice. I am afraid I will break soon and start crying in front of her. I just want to sleep because I don't have to think about all this when I sleep. I cant believe that just on Sunday I was feeling great and then on Monday went on my regular appointment, had a test where i was driving a bike for 10 minutes( I remember thinking, here I am, riding a bike, had all this medical stuff attached to me, and my friend has no idea, and it felt wrong even though I went on appointment thousand times, this time I felt bad) and they were taking my blood and checking my PFT's, my pressure before and after riding a bike,and everything was ok thank god,I got home,went to sleep, woke up and then it started, the thought I had to tell her. It just felt soo random and so sudden that need to admit to her.
<br />And the worse thing is that she had some health problems 2 years ago and went to hospital, had an operation, she had stones in gall bladder and she shared everything with me and I never shared my problem, that makes me feel even worse, she will feel betrayed. I just hope she will find understanding and forgive me eventually and still look at me the same and not feel sorry for me...<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0">
W
welshwitch
Guest
Rayoflight--
I totally totally get where you are coming from. Here are some revelations that have helped me over the years:
*CF is not your fault. It is not, not, not your fault. It is the result of a random genetic lottery. Don't feel you have to shoulder this burden alone. It is NOT YOUR FAULT!
*Give yourself a break. Anyone in our situation would find pain in this. Take time to feel the pain it has caused you, but also take time to give yourself credit for this.
*You have CF, but it's only a small piece of you. You are also the girl who is talented, smart, beautiful, a great friend, an incredible gift to everyone around you.
*It is up to you how you handle your disease. It may affect you physically in ways that are beyond your control, but your attitude, spirit, and toughness will shine through.
*You really don't know how people are going to react to you telling them you have CF. People are going to react in various ways. You really have no control over how people will take the news. Overall you just must have faith that the good people in your life will stand by you, CF or not. And they will.
*Again, give yourself a break! You will tell your friend what she needs to know in due time. It doesn't have to happen in one day!
I totally totally get where you are coming from. Here are some revelations that have helped me over the years:
*CF is not your fault. It is not, not, not your fault. It is the result of a random genetic lottery. Don't feel you have to shoulder this burden alone. It is NOT YOUR FAULT!
*Give yourself a break. Anyone in our situation would find pain in this. Take time to feel the pain it has caused you, but also take time to give yourself credit for this.
*You have CF, but it's only a small piece of you. You are also the girl who is talented, smart, beautiful, a great friend, an incredible gift to everyone around you.
*It is up to you how you handle your disease. It may affect you physically in ways that are beyond your control, but your attitude, spirit, and toughness will shine through.
*You really don't know how people are going to react to you telling them you have CF. People are going to react in various ways. You really have no control over how people will take the news. Overall you just must have faith that the good people in your life will stand by you, CF or not. And they will.
*Again, give yourself a break! You will tell your friend what she needs to know in due time. It doesn't have to happen in one day!
W
welshwitch
Guest
Rayoflight--
I totally totally get where you are coming from. Here are some revelations that have helped me over the years:
*CF is not your fault. It is not, not, not your fault. It is the result of a random genetic lottery. Don't feel you have to shoulder this burden alone. It is NOT YOUR FAULT!
*Give yourself a break. Anyone in our situation would find pain in this. Take time to feel the pain it has caused you, but also take time to give yourself credit for this.
*You have CF, but it's only a small piece of you. You are also the girl who is talented, smart, beautiful, a great friend, an incredible gift to everyone around you.
*It is up to you how you handle your disease. It may affect you physically in ways that are beyond your control, but your attitude, spirit, and toughness will shine through.
*You really don't know how people are going to react to you telling them you have CF. People are going to react in various ways. You really have no control over how people will take the news. Overall you just must have faith that the good people in your life will stand by you, CF or not. And they will.
*Again, give yourself a break! You will tell your friend what she needs to know in due time. It doesn't have to happen in one day!
I totally totally get where you are coming from. Here are some revelations that have helped me over the years:
*CF is not your fault. It is not, not, not your fault. It is the result of a random genetic lottery. Don't feel you have to shoulder this burden alone. It is NOT YOUR FAULT!
*Give yourself a break. Anyone in our situation would find pain in this. Take time to feel the pain it has caused you, but also take time to give yourself credit for this.
*You have CF, but it's only a small piece of you. You are also the girl who is talented, smart, beautiful, a great friend, an incredible gift to everyone around you.
*It is up to you how you handle your disease. It may affect you physically in ways that are beyond your control, but your attitude, spirit, and toughness will shine through.
*You really don't know how people are going to react to you telling them you have CF. People are going to react in various ways. You really have no control over how people will take the news. Overall you just must have faith that the good people in your life will stand by you, CF or not. And they will.
*Again, give yourself a break! You will tell your friend what she needs to know in due time. It doesn't have to happen in one day!
W
welshwitch
Guest
Rayoflight--
<br />
<br />I totally totally get where you are coming from. Here are some revelations that have helped me over the years:
<br />
<br />*CF is not your fault. It is not, not, not your fault. It is the result of a random genetic lottery. Don't feel you have to shoulder this burden alone. It is NOT YOUR FAULT!
<br />
<br />*Give yourself a break. Anyone in our situation would find pain in this. Take time to feel the pain it has caused you, but also take time to give yourself credit for this.
<br />
<br />*You have CF, but it's only a small piece of you. You are also the girl who is talented, smart, beautiful, a great friend, an incredible gift to everyone around you.
<br />
<br />*It is up to you how you handle your disease. It may affect you physically in ways that are beyond your control, but your attitude, spirit, and toughness will shine through.
<br />
<br />*You really don't know how people are going to react to you telling them you have CF. People are going to react in various ways. You really have no control over how people will take the news. Overall you just must have faith that the good people in your life will stand by you, CF or not. And they will.
<br />
<br />*Again, give yourself a break! You will tell your friend what she needs to know in due time. It doesn't have to happen in one day!
<br />
<br />I totally totally get where you are coming from. Here are some revelations that have helped me over the years:
<br />
<br />*CF is not your fault. It is not, not, not your fault. It is the result of a random genetic lottery. Don't feel you have to shoulder this burden alone. It is NOT YOUR FAULT!
<br />
<br />*Give yourself a break. Anyone in our situation would find pain in this. Take time to feel the pain it has caused you, but also take time to give yourself credit for this.
<br />
<br />*You have CF, but it's only a small piece of you. You are also the girl who is talented, smart, beautiful, a great friend, an incredible gift to everyone around you.
<br />
<br />*It is up to you how you handle your disease. It may affect you physically in ways that are beyond your control, but your attitude, spirit, and toughness will shine through.
<br />
<br />*You really don't know how people are going to react to you telling them you have CF. People are going to react in various ways. You really have no control over how people will take the news. Overall you just must have faith that the good people in your life will stand by you, CF or not. And they will.
<br />
<br />*Again, give yourself a break! You will tell your friend what she needs to know in due time. It doesn't have to happen in one day!
Rayoflight,
I remember a time when a person could not ask me "How are you?" without me starting to cry. This too shall pass.
It sounds to me (I am so not an expert) that telling your best friend is tantamount to admitting and acknowledging the CF to yourself.
You CAN do that and still be you, awesome and strong.
Lots of hugs.
I remember a time when a person could not ask me "How are you?" without me starting to cry. This too shall pass.
It sounds to me (I am so not an expert) that telling your best friend is tantamount to admitting and acknowledging the CF to yourself.
You CAN do that and still be you, awesome and strong.
Lots of hugs.
Rayoflight,
I remember a time when a person could not ask me "How are you?" without me starting to cry. This too shall pass.
It sounds to me (I am so not an expert) that telling your best friend is tantamount to admitting and acknowledging the CF to yourself.
You CAN do that and still be you, awesome and strong.
Lots of hugs.
I remember a time when a person could not ask me "How are you?" without me starting to cry. This too shall pass.
It sounds to me (I am so not an expert) that telling your best friend is tantamount to admitting and acknowledging the CF to yourself.
You CAN do that and still be you, awesome and strong.
Lots of hugs.
Rayoflight,
<br />I remember a time when a person could not ask me "How are you?" without me starting to cry. This too shall pass.
<br />It sounds to me (I am so not an expert) that telling your best friend is tantamount to admitting and acknowledging the CF to yourself.
<br />You CAN do that and still be you, awesome and strong.
<br />Lots of hugs.
<br />I remember a time when a person could not ask me "How are you?" without me starting to cry. This too shall pass.
<br />It sounds to me (I am so not an expert) that telling your best friend is tantamount to admitting and acknowledging the CF to yourself.
<br />You CAN do that and still be you, awesome and strong.
<br />Lots of hugs.
AleksandraKaczynska
New member
Rayoflight,
welshwitch is absolutately right - it took us 2 years to be able to talk about our daugthers cf without wanting to cry.....
But still go with this - tell your friend. You have cf - but it doesn't define you. Remember that. It's not your fault. Talk to your mom - she may understand you the most....
lots, lots of hugs
welshwitch is absolutately right - it took us 2 years to be able to talk about our daugthers cf without wanting to cry.....
But still go with this - tell your friend. You have cf - but it doesn't define you. Remember that. It's not your fault. Talk to your mom - she may understand you the most....
lots, lots of hugs
AleksandraKaczynska
New member
Rayoflight,
welshwitch is absolutately right - it took us 2 years to be able to talk about our daugthers cf without wanting to cry.....
But still go with this - tell your friend. You have cf - but it doesn't define you. Remember that. It's not your fault. Talk to your mom - she may understand you the most....
lots, lots of hugs
welshwitch is absolutately right - it took us 2 years to be able to talk about our daugthers cf without wanting to cry.....
But still go with this - tell your friend. You have cf - but it doesn't define you. Remember that. It's not your fault. Talk to your mom - she may understand you the most....
lots, lots of hugs
AleksandraKaczynska
New member
Rayoflight,
<br />welshwitch is absolutately right - it took us 2 years to be able to talk about our daugthers cf without wanting to cry.....
<br />But still go with this - tell your friend. You have cf - but it doesn't define you. Remember that. It's not your fault. Talk to your mom - she may understand you the most....
<br />lots, lots of hugs
<br />welshwitch is absolutately right - it took us 2 years to be able to talk about our daugthers cf without wanting to cry.....
<br />But still go with this - tell your friend. You have cf - but it doesn't define you. Remember that. It's not your fault. Talk to your mom - she may understand you the most....
<br />lots, lots of hugs
W
windex125
Guest
I wld think I wrote that orig. post I kept my secret from everyone all through my 20's and some of my 30's saying is was asthma. I also felt like I lead a double life as well, never told any the jobs I got always blammed it on other issues. Just didn't want that stamp on me. Don't pity me or feel sorry for me, or the first words out of yr. mouth how are you. When I had my son at the ripe age of 36 (was told I wld never get preg) I didn't tell any of the other parents from his young school days I didn't want him to be known as the mother with CF. Also I kept it secret from him as well. I wanted to wait till he got older, in his teens if I cld hold out that long? Then there was a show on TV Real Life and one the young people on the show had CF he came right up to me and said I am watching this show and it sounds like everything you have do you have this disease? And I had to be honest. I felt I had to protect him from thinking he had a mother that was going to die? The weirdest thing is he came to me one day and said he had a friend and he saw he had a vest machine in his room, did I think he had CF? He was old enough to understand and I told him it was a stong possibility, and he did and I wanted to reach out to him but cld not. My son said please don't talk with him abt it? he doesn't want to share so I respected that.When I look back on my younger yrs. you are describing me, I say talk with yr. friend its important to be honest in a friendship, take baby steps. You will be glad you did. Pat-56/CF