Dilemma

[ladybug]

Hello.

My grandfather passed away this afternoon. I am now determining whether or not to fly to the funeral several states away. Under normal circumstances, I would not think twice and would hop right on a plane, however I am having troubles deciding what to do in this case and feel terribly terribly guilty and alone for even thinking this way.

Here's why:

The funeral will be either Friday or Saturday.

There is ONE flight I can take that is not sold out (its a small town) and does not cost over $600. This flight leaves at 7:00 am. I would have to be at the airport by 5, meaning leaving my house by about 4:30. I would have to get up around 3:00 am in order to do treatments and eat. I generally go to bed (as is my habit) around 1-2 am. So, this leaves me with about an hour or two of sleep prior to the flight. I know many would say "go to bed early", but anyone who knows a habit that you've been doing for years is hard to break. I also know I've taken this early flight before and it really ran me down physically and mentally.

I would be travelling alone, since my DH would have to stay and look after our dogs. So, would be lugging around my equipment, etc. alone at 5 in the morning after (at most) 3-4 hours' sleep.

Then, I'd get there just in time for family gatherings (large extended family) and a wake in the evening. Then, the funeral the following morning followed by more family time. I would then have maybe one day that would just be spent with family and reminising and the following day would get on a plane (around 9 am, so be up around 7 or 8) to fly home.

THEN.... in 5 days from when I get back, my DH and I have tickets to go on our first ever vacation together to D.C., so a full 5 hours in flight on Saturday for a week-long vacation and then fly back.

I'm still a bit congested from the cold I had about 2 weeks ago. I'm not sick per say, but could certainly see myself getting run down easily.

.... SO, what do I do???? I feel absolutely horrid even entertaining the idea of putting the possibility of getting rundown and sick prior to our vacation in front of going to the funeral. Yet, I know my body and don't know if I can take that much commotion (and that little sleep) within 2 weeks's time. I feel terrible that I would consider a POSSIBILITY of gettting sick over something that would mean so much to so many. I mean it is just that... a possibility. But, I also am just finally bouncing back from being sick for a month with a cold and am finally getting back to the gym, etc. and now to put the added pressure on my body????

WHAT DO YA'LL THINK??? I feel so terrible right now. I feel like a bad person even thinking I would rather not take an early morning flight cause I will get less sleep. It just sounds so terrible and I'm embarassed to even type this. I DO want to be there for my family, but in the same respect, don't want to get so rundown that I end up in the hospital in D.C. or when I get back...

WHAT WOULD YOU DO??????????????

Thanks so much for any ideas or experiences or thoughts you can share,

 

[ladybug]

Hello.

My grandfather passed away this afternoon. I am now determining whether or not to fly to the funeral several states away. Under normal circumstances, I would not think twice and would hop right on a plane, however I am having troubles deciding what to do in this case and feel terribly terribly guilty and alone for even thinking this way.

Here's why:

The funeral will be either Friday or Saturday.

There is ONE flight I can take that is not sold out (its a small town) and does not cost over $600. This flight leaves at 7:00 am. I would have to be at the airport by 5, meaning leaving my house by about 4:30. I would have to get up around 3:00 am in order to do treatments and eat. I generally go to bed (as is my habit) around 1-2 am. So, this leaves me with about an hour or two of sleep prior to the flight. I know many would say "go to bed early", but anyone who knows a habit that you've been doing for years is hard to break. I also know I've taken this early flight before and it really ran me down physically and mentally.

I would be travelling alone, since my DH would have to stay and look after our dogs. So, would be lugging around my equipment, etc. alone at 5 in the morning after (at most) 3-4 hours' sleep.

Then, I'd get there just in time for family gatherings (large extended family) and a wake in the evening. Then, the funeral the following morning followed by more family time. I would then have maybe one day that would just be spent with family and reminising and the following day would get on a plane (around 9 am, so be up around 7 or 8) to fly home.

THEN.... in 5 days from when I get back, my DH and I have tickets to go on our first ever vacation together to D.C., so a full 5 hours in flight on Saturday for a week-long vacation and then fly back.

I'm still a bit congested from the cold I had about 2 weeks ago. I'm not sick per say, but could certainly see myself getting run down easily.

.... SO, what do I do???? I feel absolutely horrid even entertaining the idea of putting the possibility of getting rundown and sick prior to our vacation in front of going to the funeral. Yet, I know my body and don't know if I can take that much commotion (and that little sleep) within 2 weeks's time. I feel terrible that I would consider a POSSIBILITY of gettting sick over something that would mean so much to so many. I mean it is just that... a possibility. But, I also am just finally bouncing back from being sick for a month with a cold and am finally getting back to the gym, etc. and now to put the added pressure on my body????

WHAT DO YA'LL THINK??? I feel so terrible right now. I feel like a bad person even thinking I would rather not take an early morning flight cause I will get less sleep. It just sounds so terrible and I'm embarassed to even type this. I DO want to be there for my family, but in the same respect, don't want to get so rundown that I end up in the hospital in D.C. or when I get back...

WHAT WOULD YOU DO??????????????

Thanks so much for any ideas or experiences or thoughts you can share,

 

[ladybug]

Hello.

My grandfather passed away this afternoon. I am now determining whether or not to fly to the funeral several states away. Under normal circumstances, I would not think twice and would hop right on a plane, however I am having troubles deciding what to do in this case and feel terribly terribly guilty and alone for even thinking this way.

Here's why:

The funeral will be either Friday or Saturday.

There is ONE flight I can take that is not sold out (its a small town) and does not cost over $600. This flight leaves at 7:00 am. I would have to be at the airport by 5, meaning leaving my house by about 4:30. I would have to get up around 3:00 am in order to do treatments and eat. I generally go to bed (as is my habit) around 1-2 am. So, this leaves me with about an hour or two of sleep prior to the flight. I know many would say "go to bed early", but anyone who knows a habit that you've been doing for years is hard to break. I also know I've taken this early flight before and it really ran me down physically and mentally.

I would be travelling alone, since my DH would have to stay and look after our dogs. So, would be lugging around my equipment, etc. alone at 5 in the morning after (at most) 3-4 hours' sleep.

Then, I'd get there just in time for family gatherings (large extended family) and a wake in the evening. Then, the funeral the following morning followed by more family time. I would then have maybe one day that would just be spent with family and reminising and the following day would get on a plane (around 9 am, so be up around 7 or 8) to fly home.

THEN.... in 5 days from when I get back, my DH and I have tickets to go on our first ever vacation together to D.C., so a full 5 hours in flight on Saturday for a week-long vacation and then fly back.

I'm still a bit congested from the cold I had about 2 weeks ago. I'm not sick per say, but could certainly see myself getting run down easily.

.... SO, what do I do???? I feel absolutely horrid even entertaining the idea of putting the possibility of getting rundown and sick prior to our vacation in front of going to the funeral. Yet, I know my body and don't know if I can take that much commotion (and that little sleep) within 2 weeks's time. I feel terrible that I would consider a POSSIBILITY of gettting sick over something that would mean so much to so many. I mean it is just that... a possibility. But, I also am just finally bouncing back from being sick for a month with a cold and am finally getting back to the gym, etc. and now to put the added pressure on my body????

WHAT DO YA'LL THINK??? I feel so terrible right now. I feel like a bad person even thinking I would rather not take an early morning flight cause I will get less sleep. It just sounds so terrible and I'm embarassed to even type this. I DO want to be there for my family, but in the same respect, don't want to get so rundown that I end up in the hospital in D.C. or when I get back...

WHAT WOULD YOU DO??????????????

Thanks so much for any ideas or experiences or thoughts you can share,

 

[ladybug]

Hello.

My grandfather passed away this afternoon. I am now determining whether or not to fly to the funeral several states away. Under normal circumstances, I would not think twice and would hop right on a plane, however I am having troubles deciding what to do in this case and feel terribly terribly guilty and alone for even thinking this way.

Here's why:

The funeral will be either Friday or Saturday.

There is ONE flight I can take that is not sold out (its a small town) and does not cost over $600. This flight leaves at 7:00 am. I would have to be at the airport by 5, meaning leaving my house by about 4:30. I would have to get up around 3:00 am in order to do treatments and eat. I generally go to bed (as is my habit) around 1-2 am. So, this leaves me with about an hour or two of sleep prior to the flight. I know many would say "go to bed early", but anyone who knows a habit that you've been doing for years is hard to break. I also know I've taken this early flight before and it really ran me down physically and mentally.

I would be travelling alone, since my DH would have to stay and look after our dogs. So, would be lugging around my equipment, etc. alone at 5 in the morning after (at most) 3-4 hours' sleep.

Then, I'd get there just in time for family gatherings (large extended family) and a wake in the evening. Then, the funeral the following morning followed by more family time. I would then have maybe one day that would just be spent with family and reminising and the following day would get on a plane (around 9 am, so be up around 7 or 8) to fly home.

THEN.... in 5 days from when I get back, my DH and I have tickets to go on our first ever vacation together to D.C., so a full 5 hours in flight on Saturday for a week-long vacation and then fly back.

I'm still a bit congested from the cold I had about 2 weeks ago. I'm not sick per say, but could certainly see myself getting run down easily.

.... SO, what do I do???? I feel absolutely horrid even entertaining the idea of putting the possibility of getting rundown and sick prior to our vacation in front of going to the funeral. Yet, I know my body and don't know if I can take that much commotion (and that little sleep) within 2 weeks's time. I feel terrible that I would consider a POSSIBILITY of gettting sick over something that would mean so much to so many. I mean it is just that... a possibility. But, I also am just finally bouncing back from being sick for a month with a cold and am finally getting back to the gym, etc. and now to put the added pressure on my body????

WHAT DO YA'LL THINK??? I feel so terrible right now. I feel like a bad person even thinking I would rather not take an early morning flight cause I will get less sleep. It just sounds so terrible and I'm embarassed to even type this. I DO want to be there for my family, but in the same respect, don't want to get so rundown that I end up in the hospital in D.C. or when I get back...

WHAT WOULD YOU DO??????????????

Thanks so much for any ideas or experiences or thoughts you can share,

 

[ladybug]

Hello.

My grandfather passed away this afternoon. I am now determining whether or not to fly to the funeral several states away. Under normal circumstances, I would not think twice and would hop right on a plane, however I am having troubles deciding what to do in this case and feel terribly terribly guilty and alone for even thinking this way.

Here's why:

The funeral will be either Friday or Saturday.

There is ONE flight I can take that is not sold out (its a small town) and does not cost over $600. This flight leaves at 7:00 am. I would have to be at the airport by 5, meaning leaving my house by about 4:30. I would have to get up around 3:00 am in order to do treatments and eat. I generally go to bed (as is my habit) around 1-2 am. So, this leaves me with about an hour or two of sleep prior to the flight. I know many would say "go to bed early", but anyone who knows a habit that you've been doing for years is hard to break. I also know I've taken this early flight before and it really ran me down physically and mentally.

I would be travelling alone, since my DH would have to stay and look after our dogs. So, would be lugging around my equipment, etc. alone at 5 in the morning after (at most) 3-4 hours' sleep.

Then, I'd get there just in time for family gatherings (large extended family) and a wake in the evening. Then, the funeral the following morning followed by more family time. I would then have maybe one day that would just be spent with family and reminising and the following day would get on a plane (around 9 am, so be up around 7 or 8) to fly home.

THEN.... in 5 days from when I get back, my DH and I have tickets to go on our first ever vacation together to D.C., so a full 5 hours in flight on Saturday for a week-long vacation and then fly back.

I'm still a bit congested from the cold I had about 2 weeks ago. I'm not sick per say, but could certainly see myself getting run down easily.

.... SO, what do I do???? I feel absolutely horrid even entertaining the idea of putting the possibility of getting rundown and sick prior to our vacation in front of going to the funeral. Yet, I know my body and don't know if I can take that much commotion (and that little sleep) within 2 weeks's time. I feel terrible that I would consider a POSSIBILITY of gettting sick over something that would mean so much to so many. I mean it is just that... a possibility. But, I also am just finally bouncing back from being sick for a month with a cold and am finally getting back to the gym, etc. and now to put the added pressure on my body????

WHAT DO YA'LL THINK??? I feel so terrible right now. I feel like a bad person even thinking I would rather not take an early morning flight cause I will get less sleep. It just sounds so terrible and I'm embarassed to even type this. I DO want to be there for my family, but in the same respect, don't want to get so rundown that I end up in the hospital in D.C. or when I get back...

WHAT WOULD YOU DO??????????????

Thanks so much for any ideas or experiences or thoughts you can share,

 

[ladybug]

Hello.

My grandfather passed away this afternoon. I am now determining whether or not to fly to the funeral several states away. Under normal circumstances, I would not think twice and would hop right on a plane, however I am having troubles deciding what to do in this case and feel terribly terribly guilty and alone for even thinking this way.

Here's why:

The funeral will be either Friday or Saturday.

There is ONE flight I can take that is not sold out (its a small town) and does not cost over $600. This flight leaves at 7:00 am. I would have to be at the airport by 5, meaning leaving my house by about 4:30. I would have to get up around 3:00 am in order to do treatments and eat. I generally go to bed (as is my habit) around 1-2 am. So, this leaves me with about an hour or two of sleep prior to the flight. I know many would say "go to bed early", but anyone who knows a habit that you've been doing for years is hard to break. I also know I've taken this early flight before and it really ran me down physically and mentally.

I would be travelling alone, since my DH would have to stay and look after our dogs. So, would be lugging around my equipment, etc. alone at 5 in the morning after (at most) 3-4 hours' sleep.

Then, I'd get there just in time for family gatherings (large extended family) and a wake in the evening. Then, the funeral the following morning followed by more family time. I would then have maybe one day that would just be spent with family and reminising and the following day would get on a plane (around 9 am, so be up around 7 or 8) to fly home.

THEN.... in 5 days from when I get back, my DH and I have tickets to go on our first ever vacation together to D.C., so a full 5 hours in flight on Saturday for a week-long vacation and then fly back.

I'm still a bit congested from the cold I had about 2 weeks ago. I'm not sick per say, but could certainly see myself getting run down easily.

.... SO, what do I do???? I feel absolutely horrid even entertaining the idea of putting the possibility of getting rundown and sick prior to our vacation in front of going to the funeral. Yet, I know my body and don't know if I can take that much commotion (and that little sleep) within 2 weeks's time. I feel terrible that I would consider a POSSIBILITY of gettting sick over something that would mean so much to so many. I mean it is just that... a possibility. But, I also am just finally bouncing back from being sick for a month with a cold and am finally getting back to the gym, etc. and now to put the added pressure on my body????

WHAT DO YA'LL THINK??? I feel so terrible right now. I feel like a bad person even thinking I would rather not take an early morning flight cause I will get less sleep. It just sounds so terrible and I'm embarassed to even type this. I DO want to be there for my family, but in the same respect, don't want to get so rundown that I end up in the hospital in D.C. or when I get back...

WHAT WOULD YOU DO??????????????

Thanks so much for any ideas or experiences or thoughts you can share,

 

[blondelawyer]

Sonia, I am very sorry to hear about your grandfather. As for advice, I would pass on the funeral. It sounds like it would be much too stressful for you and way too hard on your body. I know that you feel like you should go, but your family should understand. I don't know your grandfather, but I bet he would have wanted you to do what is best for your health. Not going doesn't mean that you are a bad person at all! You are just being realistic. I do know what you are feeling though--my aunt died this past winter and the funeral conflicted with our vacation, so I didn't go to the funeral. I felt bad, but I know that she would not want me to skip my vacation for that.

So, send some flowers, remember your grandfather with your DH at home, and rest up.

 

[blondelawyer]

Sonia, I am very sorry to hear about your grandfather. As for advice, I would pass on the funeral. It sounds like it would be much too stressful for you and way too hard on your body. I know that you feel like you should go, but your family should understand. I don't know your grandfather, but I bet he would have wanted you to do what is best for your health. Not going doesn't mean that you are a bad person at all! You are just being realistic. I do know what you are feeling though--my aunt died this past winter and the funeral conflicted with our vacation, so I didn't go to the funeral. I felt bad, but I know that she would not want me to skip my vacation for that.

So, send some flowers, remember your grandfather with your DH at home, and rest up.

 

[blondelawyer]

Sonia, I am very sorry to hear about your grandfather. As for advice, I would pass on the funeral. It sounds like it would be much too stressful for you and way too hard on your body. I know that you feel like you should go, but your family should understand. I don't know your grandfather, but I bet he would have wanted you to do what is best for your health. Not going doesn't mean that you are a bad person at all! You are just being realistic. I do know what you are feeling though--my aunt died this past winter and the funeral conflicted with our vacation, so I didn't go to the funeral. I felt bad, but I know that she would not want me to skip my vacation for that.

So, send some flowers, remember your grandfather with your DH at home, and rest up.

 

[blondelawyer]

Sonia, I am very sorry to hear about your grandfather. As for advice, I would pass on the funeral. It sounds like it would be much too stressful for you and way too hard on your body. I know that you feel like you should go, but your family should understand. I don't know your grandfather, but I bet he would have wanted you to do what is best for your health. Not going doesn't mean that you are a bad person at all! You are just being realistic. I do know what you are feeling though--my aunt died this past winter and the funeral conflicted with our vacation, so I didn't go to the funeral. I felt bad, but I know that she would not want me to skip my vacation for that.

So, send some flowers, remember your grandfather with your DH at home, and rest up.

 

[blondelawyer]

Sonia, I am very sorry to hear about your grandfather. As for advice, I would pass on the funeral. It sounds like it would be much too stressful for you and way too hard on your body. I know that you feel like you should go, but your family should understand. I don't know your grandfather, but I bet he would have wanted you to do what is best for your health. Not going doesn't mean that you are a bad person at all! You are just being realistic. I do know what you are feeling though--my aunt died this past winter and the funeral conflicted with our vacation, so I didn't go to the funeral. I felt bad, but I know that she would not want me to skip my vacation for that.

So, send some flowers, remember your grandfather with your DH at home, and rest up.

 

[blondelawyer]

Sonia, I am very sorry to hear about your grandfather. As for advice, I would pass on the funeral. It sounds like it would be much too stressful for you and way too hard on your body. I know that you feel like you should go, but your family should understand. I don't know your grandfather, but I bet he would have wanted you to do what is best for your health. Not going doesn't mean that you are a bad person at all! You are just being realistic. I do know what you are feeling though--my aunt died this past winter and the funeral conflicted with our vacation, so I didn't go to the funeral. I felt bad, but I know that she would not want me to skip my vacation for that.

So, send some flowers, remember your grandfather with your DH at home, and rest up.

 

[lightNlife]

So sorry to hear about your grandfather. I can't tell you what you should do, but allow me to share what I did in a similar situation.

A few years back when we had two deaths in the family within weeks of each other. It tore me apart that I couldn't be there at the memorial services. The trips would have been much too hard on me. I was in between quarters at school and had just finished a round of IV therapy. Although I had been feeling relatively "ok" I knew in my heart of hearts that if I spent all that energy (physical AND emotional) I would be undoing all the progress I had made.

If you do decide not to go, perhaps you can have your own version of a memorial service to honor your grandfather's legacy. Perhaps go to a nice dinner with the husband and toast to your grandpa's memory. I apologize if that sounds trite...it's just a suggestion.

My condolences to you and your family. Take care of yourself. May you have peace of mind and strength of spirit no matter how you decide.

Warmly,
Lauren

 

[lightNlife]

So sorry to hear about your grandfather. I can't tell you what you should do, but allow me to share what I did in a similar situation.

A few years back when we had two deaths in the family within weeks of each other. It tore me apart that I couldn't be there at the memorial services. The trips would have been much too hard on me. I was in between quarters at school and had just finished a round of IV therapy. Although I had been feeling relatively "ok" I knew in my heart of hearts that if I spent all that energy (physical AND emotional) I would be undoing all the progress I had made.

If you do decide not to go, perhaps you can have your own version of a memorial service to honor your grandfather's legacy. Perhaps go to a nice dinner with the husband and toast to your grandpa's memory. I apologize if that sounds trite...it's just a suggestion.

My condolences to you and your family. Take care of yourself. May you have peace of mind and strength of spirit no matter how you decide.

Warmly,
Lauren

 

[lightNlife]

So sorry to hear about your grandfather. I can't tell you what you should do, but allow me to share what I did in a similar situation.

A few years back when we had two deaths in the family within weeks of each other. It tore me apart that I couldn't be there at the memorial services. The trips would have been much too hard on me. I was in between quarters at school and had just finished a round of IV therapy. Although I had been feeling relatively "ok" I knew in my heart of hearts that if I spent all that energy (physical AND emotional) I would be undoing all the progress I had made.

If you do decide not to go, perhaps you can have your own version of a memorial service to honor your grandfather's legacy. Perhaps go to a nice dinner with the husband and toast to your grandpa's memory. I apologize if that sounds trite...it's just a suggestion.

My condolences to you and your family. Take care of yourself. May you have peace of mind and strength of spirit no matter how you decide.

Warmly,
Lauren

 

[lightNlife]

So sorry to hear about your grandfather. I can't tell you what you should do, but allow me to share what I did in a similar situation.

A few years back when we had two deaths in the family within weeks of each other. It tore me apart that I couldn't be there at the memorial services. The trips would have been much too hard on me. I was in between quarters at school and had just finished a round of IV therapy. Although I had been feeling relatively "ok" I knew in my heart of hearts that if I spent all that energy (physical AND emotional) I would be undoing all the progress I had made.

If you do decide not to go, perhaps you can have your own version of a memorial service to honor your grandfather's legacy. Perhaps go to a nice dinner with the husband and toast to your grandpa's memory. I apologize if that sounds trite...it's just a suggestion.

My condolences to you and your family. Take care of yourself. May you have peace of mind and strength of spirit no matter how you decide.

Warmly,
Lauren

 

[lightNlife]

So sorry to hear about your grandfather. I can't tell you what you should do, but allow me to share what I did in a similar situation.

A few years back when we had two deaths in the family within weeks of each other. It tore me apart that I couldn't be there at the memorial services. The trips would have been much too hard on me. I was in between quarters at school and had just finished a round of IV therapy. Although I had been feeling relatively "ok" I knew in my heart of hearts that if I spent all that energy (physical AND emotional) I would be undoing all the progress I had made.

If you do decide not to go, perhaps you can have your own version of a memorial service to honor your grandfather's legacy. Perhaps go to a nice dinner with the husband and toast to your grandpa's memory. I apologize if that sounds trite...it's just a suggestion.

My condolences to you and your family. Take care of yourself. May you have peace of mind and strength of spirit no matter how you decide.

Warmly,
Lauren

 

[lightNlife]

So sorry to hear about your grandfather. I can't tell you what you should do, but allow me to share what I did in a similar situation.

A few years back when we had two deaths in the family within weeks of each other. It tore me apart that I couldn't be there at the memorial services. The trips would have been much too hard on me. I was in between quarters at school and had just finished a round of IV therapy. Although I had been feeling relatively "ok" I knew in my heart of hearts that if I spent all that energy (physical AND emotional) I would be undoing all the progress I had made.

If you do decide not to go, perhaps you can have your own version of a memorial service to honor your grandfather's legacy. Perhaps go to a nice dinner with the husband and toast to your grandpa's memory. I apologize if that sounds trite...it's just a suggestion.

My condolences to you and your family. Take care of yourself. May you have peace of mind and strength of spirit no matter how you decide.

Warmly,
Lauren

 

[kayleesgrandma]

Sonia, I have absolutely no advice on the matter, but wished to express my condolences. I know this is quite a dilema, and I think you know what is best for you to do. Your health is most important. I certainly hope that your family can understand that. I am sorry for your loss, and how this damn disease even interfers with death. Please take care of yourself.

 

[kayleesgrandma]

Sonia, I have absolutely no advice on the matter, but wished to express my condolences. I know this is quite a dilema, and I think you know what is best for you to do. Your health is most important. I certainly hope that your family can understand that. I am sorry for your loss, and how this damn disease even interfers with death. Please take care of yourself.