Don't know what to do

[ClashPunk82]

My boyfriend of 5 years just broke up with me a few days ago. I can't believe he did it. He said that he loves me but he wants children and wants to travel and do so much stuff that I can't do right now. I'm so mad at him but I still love him. I'm just so down right now.

 

[julie]

Nicole, I am so sorry to hear that. I honestly don't know what to say but I do want to let you know that I am thinking about you and if you want to talk, you can PM me or email me (division902@hotmail.com).

I will be thinking about you and praying for your heart to heal.

 

[coltsfan715]

I don't know what to say other than I am sooo sorry that you are having to go through that kind of pain.
I am sorry you are having to go through this.

You are in my thoughts,
Lindsey

 

[ClashPunk82]

Thanks guy for the nice comments, I appreciate it. It's so hard I really thought he was going to stay forever but I guess I was wrong. I still want to remain friends because we were friends first and he is a great guy and I can't blame him for wanting a normal life but it still hurts.

 

[sarabeth87]

i know you probably don't want 2 hear things like this when u are hurting, but if he was not willing to make the nessasary sacrifices to be with u, then he is not worth your time or your tears. someday u will be able to move on and i hope you find a great guy. one day he will see what he gave and probably regret it, if he truly loves you. i've been thru the same thing, just give it time. you are in my thoughts.

 

[littledebbie]

<img src="i/expressions/brokenheart.gif" border="0"> I just wanted to say I have had a smilar experience, except we were together 3 years. So if you want to talk, cry, yell etc. and want an ear, I'm all yours.

my e-mail should be visible on my profile. And you can of course find me here <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0">

editing to say: Yah, it doesn't really make him a BAD guy, that's the kicker, and since you love him you can't really work your way up to hating him. It starts to make that stupid sappy song "Sometimes love just aint enough" actually make sense, I hate it when that happens. sometimes we love people who are not strong enough to deal with everything we have going on, even if they wish they were. I think we can all see from this site that it takes very special and strong people to tie themselves to us. It's very sad when we love someone and they turn out to not have what it takes to hang. It's sad, but it doesn't make them bad or anything, just a little weak, and maybe young and a few other things. when i think of Allie and Michelle and Julie, I know it's possible to find someone (they give me hope), but we will definitiely be looking for the needle in the haystack.

editing again to say I didn't metion any guy spouses cuz I couldn't think of their names but emily has Mike and myNewfy I forget her hubby's name and Christains guy sounds solid too.

 

[Allie]

Oh hon, I'm so sorry. That's so hard, I wish I could just reach out and hug you. If there is anyhting in the world I can do to help, let me know.

 

[Emily65Roses]

Ugh. That makes me really mad. Five years go by and suddenly he decides it's too much??? Couldn't he have figured it out a little sooner than this? Rarrrrrr.

Well it's his loss. You're super and you'll find someone who can stick it out. I am sorry, though, that's really terrible. I don't know what I'd do. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0">

 

[skh]

I am so sorry. My heart goes out to you.

Sue

 

[Scarlett81]

Hey Hon,
I'm sorry you're going through this. You may not see it now, but sometimes it helps to go through this stuff to prepare us for more in life, to build character, and to help you see what YOU want.

I'm especially sorry that it took this man 5 yrs to find out what he wanted. The only thing that can help is time. Time will help repair this. And keep in mind that you are a great woman who has alot to offer a man. Maybe that's why it took him so long to make up his mind.

Don't let his actions change who you are either. You're still the same valuable person. So I don't want to see you lose your self respect, and your self worth.
And I may have found a wonderful man that I have now, but believe me...I met several losers before him. I think many of us have probably had a guy (or girl) leave us partially do to fear on their part b/c of our CF or CF related issues. It does hurt.

It hurts alot now and will for a while probably. But, it should be a consolation later that you and him found out now. And not after marriage or children. You want someone that will be 100% on board and love you for you, not someone that loves just in conjunction with the things that you two can do together-like travel or have kids.

 

[ClashPunk82]

Thanks guys for all your support. Yes it will be a rough time for me for a bit but I still wanna remain friends with him, we always got along and had a lot of fun together. It's just gonna be different now. But at least he wasn't a jerk ever to me nor was he when he said he couldn't date me anymore. He cried pretty hard so I think it was hard for him but I just don't think he could handle it anymore but I can't be mad at that.

 

[Emily65Roses]

I don't know him. You do. And if you want to stay friends with him, do what you want.

But, in my opinion, you have a right to be angry at him. As much as I think it sucks when people leave CFers because they can't handle it, I respect that they can face the truth. <b>BUT</b> it should <u>not</u> have taken him 5 years to figure it out. <i>That's</i> the part that makes me mad.

 

[CowTown]

That sucks, I'm sorry to hear this!! That's something you do want to find out though before the 5 year realtionship turns into 10 or marriage and then he figures out what he can't handle. Although it must be aweful right now, when you do meet the man who wants to be by your side b/c the love is so thick, you'll probably think back to this time and figure, "I am way better off now". Just a thought. Good luck to you. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

 

[Landy]

Nicole
Hang in there girl. It is a rough time for you I'm sure.
I remember very well a break up like this when I was late teens/early 20's. I cried & cried and didn't know how I could go on. Today, looking back I'm so glad that that relationship didn't work--maybe you'll get to that point some day too.
The fact that he's been decent to you makes it much harder for you to deal with too.
Come here anytime to vent, cry on our shoulders, etc.

 

[Faust]

Sucks man. Guys are poop. Keep carrying on.

 

[NoExcuses]

/

 

[eli]

Definitley selfish of him to do such a thing. Maybe you guy's could have spoken about these issues before you got too involved.

Anyway, hang in there you deserve better. You are in my thoughts.

 

[EnergyGal]

Hello Nicole

I am sorry that you are feeling bummed out but remember that there is someone much better for you out there. Many guys will not be honest with you and this man was. I give him credit but he should have decided this in the beginning of your relationship. Sounds like your friendship was a nice thing but if you hang on to it a long time, I am afraid you might get hurt again. If he finds a girlfriend and you know about it, this might hurt you. There is always a competition with ex girlfriends and ex boyfriends. You may not see it at first but it is there and I say it is impossible to stay friends once you are intimate with someone.

Once you find another boyfriend your new boyfriend finds out you are close friends with your ex he might not like that. I know it is new now but if you get out there and meet someone else you might get over this guyfriend of yours quickly.

There are definitely many fine fish in the sea

 

[anonymous]

Hi Nicole-
I am so sorry you are going through this. I went through something similar when my boyfriend broke up with me last year after 6 years together. i thought marriage, he didn't want to with me. He also was very upset and cried a lot and is not a bad guy at all. we started friends and i wanted to continue like you do. the only thing i suggest is really think about if you want to be friends with the hope of getting back together. I know deep down i did and it has been a year and i am not over it at all because of it. if i wasn't friends with him i would have moved on but i stayed friends and have not moved on.

it is so hard because you think you found the one who understands everything about CF and is ok about it and then it is ripped away from you. It sounds stupid, but the book It's Called a Breakup Because it's Broken (by the same people as He's Just Not that Into You)actually helped me. I wish I would have listened to it more. It will get better but it takes a lot of time and that is ok

Sue 23w/CF

 

[JazzysMom]

I know its heart breaking especially after all that time. The last thing you want to hear is better now than later, but its true. Would you rather invest more time into a relationship that will still end or worse, get married & have kids than have it end. Even tho it sucks I have to give him credit that he FINALLY admitted he cant handle it for a lifetime!