End of life stuff and a recommendation

[Allie]

I was talking with someone last night and this came up, and I thought I'd best post it here for others to benefit from it.

As you all know, you need to have a living will filled out in case of emergency. It's an extremely important document. WEll, the one Ry and I used is the 5 wishes document, which is probably the best one out there. It's thorough, easy to understand, and tackles everything from treament continuation (as most do) To how you want to be cared fro when dying, to funeral wishes. I would implore everyone to have one of these on hand, as it makes things so much easier on your loved ones when you can't communicate. You can specify things as specific as whether you want people praying at your bedside or not, whether you want to die at home, if you want to be buried or cremated. NO one LIKES to think about these things, but it's important.

You have to either buy it from the website OR (what we did) get a copy from a social worker. It has a list on the site of states that will accept it (most), and you can find a non printable version of the entire thing here :


<a target=new class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.agingwithdignity.org/5wishes.pdf
">http://www.agingwithdignity.org/5wishes.pdf
</a>
Any questions, I'll try to help.

 

[debs2girls]

Thank you Allie, but my state is not one that is listed. I also implore you all to do this. My sister passed away three weeks ago, she did not have anything like this and it was/is a nightmare. Do your family a favor and think about the future. I have a health care proxy in case I ever need it.
Debbie

 

[Faust]

When it's time for me to go, i'm gonna buy a TON of those little halloween mini candy bars, many bags of them. Stuff tons of them in every orifice, in my shirt, down my pants, every place I can stuff them. Then climb to the highest building in tampa and jump off. So when I hit, I explode like a giant pinata. So when people all run over and are like "Oh man, he jumped, wtf"...Then a couple seconds later they will see all the candy bars and say "OH MAN, SNICKERS!!" and start eating.

 

[65rosessamurai]

Hey Allie,

I've got two life insurance policies, maybe I ought to find out from them if they will have something in regards to a will as well. My only problem is if I pass over here, there may be a few problems (like where I'm going to rest and what to do about a funeral in the states), but the legal portion relating to my wife having access to my personal bank accounts after I pass would help avoid the need for legal assistance to close the accounts. When my wife's father passed, his closing of bank accounts was done by a lawyer, who got about 10% of all the inheretance.
One thing I have to ask my wife to check is if the AFLAC insurance I have in Japan has one of those "pre-diagnosed" clauses. If I get sick or something and that clause is in there because my ex-wife who signed me up lied, I'm in trouble!!
Unfortunately, because I mention will, or "what if's" to my wife, she shudders! I don't blame her because her father passed this year, and all she'd have if I passed is her mother *shivers* and yearly taxes!

 

[Allie]

As long as you let them know who the money is intended for with insurance, it shouldn't be a huge problem, although a will is a good idea anyway.

Can you even have a living will in Japan?

 

[65rosessamurai]

My best bet is to find out from the Consulate, how those matters relate to living overseas. If I die while living in Japan, my death is supposed to be reported to the Consulate or Embassy. I'll find out if that gives the Embassy the rights to carry out my wishes, despite the country I live in.

 

[JustDucky]

Allie, you bring up a great point..you are right, no one wants to think about the inevitable, but having a living will with all of your wants documented I believe is wise. I have copies with my doctor, home and my health care proxy. We have all had a meeting of the minds so to speak about what to do if such and such situation came up as well as what to do when I died as far as my funeral. I know it is hard to talk about it, but it is necessary. I know I am not going to live to be an old lady, lucky if I see 40 the way I am going, but I am optimistic....50 would be nice. My pulmo sees me as a strong person, I have defied the odds before so who knows. For those who don't know, I also live on a vent, am B. cepacia pos. as well along with the usual mix of bugs and have a rare muscular dystrophy. Makes the disease process a little bit more complicated.
Sean....a human Pinata!!! ??? It certainly would make headlines!
Samarai...it must be confusing as far as living in Japan...I don't know the laws of the land, but I do wish you luck.
Deb, I am sorry for your loss...my thoughts are with you and your sister's family
Hugs, Jenn <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

 

[JennifersHope]

Working in the emergency room, I can't tell you how valuable it is to have your wishes written down. Helps us to know what to do when the family is torn....


I have told my dr.. I will come back and hunt him down if I end up in a coma on a vent or am kept alive by any artificial means what so ever....... When I tell my dr now that I want to be a DNR he laughs at me...and said that I am not terminal so a DNR is not an option..I keep telling him that if I die and he brings me back to life.. I am going to sue the crud out of him....I do think he knows my wishes though..but until I write it down forget it..as long as my father is alive.. He would have every tube sticking out of every orfice before he would let me die. From what I understand, which is very little, DNRs are only an option if you are old, or if you are in the end stage of your disease, not if you have say a heart attack or something....but as far as saying what your wishes are.. like no artificial life support etc.. that is good for anybody to do...

Thanks for the reminder,

Jennifer

 

[JennifersHope]

No offense Sean but I wouldn't want any candy that was shoved up your orfice....<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-shocked.gif" border="0">

 

[anonymous]

Thanks for the 5 wishes doc., now I just need to put it in a place where someone can find it.

Thanks again.

As for SeanDavis,

I might go for that.... what is the saying.... "Snickers Satisfies!". Though I wouldn?t' use Reeces Buttercups, people already argue about getting "your peanut butter in my chocolate", adding feces would just complicate the debate. Maybe you should stick to Payday candy bars, that way when you land and candy is everywhere, someone will surly yell, "PAYDAY!"

 

[anonymous]

Allie - just wanted to say thanks for posting this info. My family and I were just discussing the other, so your time was perfect for us to find an official way to do this.

I ordered copies from the website and will get this in place as soon as I receive them.

Thanks!

Amy

36 w/CF

 

[Allie]

Thanks, I think this is super important, and there are way too many people who don't do it <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

 

[anonymous]

O.K....SEANDAVIS.. That was literally the funniest thing I have heard in quite sometime re: your snickers story... I laughed so hard and I shared it with my co-worker. Maybe I can slightly empathize with the fact I love skittles. I don't have them because well they would kill me fast. but..histerical.....

thanks for the laugh...
Tessa