Frustrated with School

[Ratatosk]

DS is a pretty sharp cookie, as has been exhibited in his standardized testing and report cards; however, whenever we've met regarding his IEP, which is ONLY for speech services, I tend to get defensive because they ask questions about his intelligence until his teacher whips out info indicating he's right on track if not above average.

Last month we had his annual IEP meeting combined with his school conference which again showed he was doing well. Unfortunately his teacher was unable to attend as two days prior to this, she had a baby, so we met with the speech pathologist, school counselor and a substitute. Again -- nothing remarkable.

Fast forward -- the week after Christmas I receive a call at work from the substitute regarding DS's behavior -- easily frustrated, got in trouble for not listening. Which was a complete surprise because every day we get a behavior calendar which they're supposed to color and we're supposed to initial. If it's green that means he was good. Blue or other color -- he got blue once for not listening during a field trip -- we discuss what happened. However, his calendar had been blank pretty much the entire month of December and continued into January. So we assumed all was well.

The sub indicated that DS was trying to haul his backpack, boots, snowpants, etc. from his locker to the classroom in one trip and would get frustrated and drop everything in front of the door and then get upset when his classmates tried to get past. She had some other issues that same day that involved her getting after him for not listening and she said "I have a son who is autistic, so I KNOW what it's like to get blindsided by these issues, so wanted to visit with you and see if maybe we should set up incentives, a sticker chart for behavior" I indicated that DH and I would speak with DS -- HELLO? Tell the kid to make two trips, ask for help if he needs it. Which we did and crisis averted.

I was really annoyed with the sub -- but DH insisted this was her first teaching gig, she has to learn somewhere. I was just relieved when his teacher came back on Monday.

Monday we get a note from the "reading teachers" -- asking us to consider putting DS in a remedial reading program. If we didn't respond in 5 days he would be placed. Hello? So DH crafts an email to his teacher inquiring about this, concerns about labeling, wondering on what basis this was determined, requesting more info. We did NOT return the sheet or sign off on it.

Last night DS comes home with a book to read -- similar to what we've been doing since kindergarten. He reads a book to us; however, this one was VERY, VERY below his level. And we notice the book is from the READING program! I look at the form we were to review and it was dated LAST Thursday; however, today would've been our 5th day to respond.

Apparently they placed him in remedial reading without our permission. I'm so furious I could spit! Ugh!

I should add that DS' elementary school got in trouble in terms of their standardized testing results being very below average for disabled students last year.

 

[Ratatosk]

DS is a pretty sharp cookie, as has been exhibited in his standardized testing and report cards; however, whenever we've met regarding his IEP, which is ONLY for speech services, I tend to get defensive because they ask questions about his intelligence until his teacher whips out info indicating he's right on track if not above average.

Last month we had his annual IEP meeting combined with his school conference which again showed he was doing well. Unfortunately his teacher was unable to attend as two days prior to this, she had a baby, so we met with the speech pathologist, school counselor and a substitute. Again -- nothing remarkable.

Fast forward -- the week after Christmas I receive a call at work from the substitute regarding DS's behavior -- easily frustrated, got in trouble for not listening. Which was a complete surprise because every day we get a behavior calendar which they're supposed to color and we're supposed to initial. If it's green that means he was good. Blue or other color -- he got blue once for not listening during a field trip -- we discuss what happened. However, his calendar had been blank pretty much the entire month of December and continued into January. So we assumed all was well.

The sub indicated that DS was trying to haul his backpack, boots, snowpants, etc. from his locker to the classroom in one trip and would get frustrated and drop everything in front of the door and then get upset when his classmates tried to get past. She had some other issues that same day that involved her getting after him for not listening and she said "I have a son who is autistic, so I KNOW what it's like to get blindsided by these issues, so wanted to visit with you and see if maybe we should set up incentives, a sticker chart for behavior" I indicated that DH and I would speak with DS -- HELLO? Tell the kid to make two trips, ask for help if he needs it. Which we did and crisis averted.

I was really annoyed with the sub -- but DH insisted this was her first teaching gig, she has to learn somewhere. I was just relieved when his teacher came back on Monday.

Monday we get a note from the "reading teachers" -- asking us to consider putting DS in a remedial reading program. If we didn't respond in 5 days he would be placed. Hello? So DH crafts an email to his teacher inquiring about this, concerns about labeling, wondering on what basis this was determined, requesting more info. We did NOT return the sheet or sign off on it.

Last night DS comes home with a book to read -- similar to what we've been doing since kindergarten. He reads a book to us; however, this one was VERY, VERY below his level. And we notice the book is from the READING program! I look at the form we were to review and it was dated LAST Thursday; however, today would've been our 5th day to respond.

Apparently they placed him in remedial reading without our permission. I'm so furious I could spit! Ugh!

I should add that DS' elementary school got in trouble in terms of their standardized testing results being very below average for disabled students last year.

 

[Ratatosk]

DS is a pretty sharp cookie, as has been exhibited in his standardized testing and report cards; however, whenever we've met regarding his IEP, which is ONLY for speech services, I tend to get defensive because they ask questions about his intelligence until his teacher whips out info indicating he's right on track if not above average.
<br />
<br />Last month we had his annual IEP meeting combined with his school conference which again showed he was doing well. Unfortunately his teacher was unable to attend as two days prior to this, she had a baby, so we met with the speech pathologist, school counselor and a substitute. Again -- nothing remarkable.
<br />
<br />Fast forward -- the week after Christmas I receive a call at work from the substitute regarding DS's behavior -- easily frustrated, got in trouble for not listening. Which was a complete surprise because every day we get a behavior calendar which they're supposed to color and we're supposed to initial. If it's green that means he was good. Blue or other color -- he got blue once for not listening during a field trip -- we discuss what happened. However, his calendar had been blank pretty much the entire month of December and continued into January. So we assumed all was well.
<br />
<br />The sub indicated that DS was trying to haul his backpack, boots, snowpants, etc. from his locker to the classroom in one trip and would get frustrated and drop everything in front of the door and then get upset when his classmates tried to get past. She had some other issues that same day that involved her getting after him for not listening and she said "I have a son who is autistic, so I KNOW what it's like to get blindsided by these issues, so wanted to visit with you and see if maybe we should set up incentives, a sticker chart for behavior" I indicated that DH and I would speak with DS -- HELLO? Tell the kid to make two trips, ask for help if he needs it. Which we did and crisis averted.
<br />
<br />I was really annoyed with the sub -- but DH insisted this was her first teaching gig, she has to learn somewhere. I was just relieved when his teacher came back on Monday.
<br />
<br />Monday we get a note from the "reading teachers" -- asking us to consider putting DS in a remedial reading program. If we didn't respond in 5 days he would be placed. Hello? So DH crafts an email to his teacher inquiring about this, concerns about labeling, wondering on what basis this was determined, requesting more info. We did NOT return the sheet or sign off on it.
<br />
<br />Last night DS comes home with a book to read -- similar to what we've been doing since kindergarten. He reads a book to us; however, this one was VERY, VERY below his level. And we notice the book is from the READING program! I look at the form we were to review and it was dated LAST Thursday; however, today would've been our 5th day to respond.
<br />
<br />Apparently they placed him in remedial reading without our permission. I'm so furious I could spit! Ugh!
<br />
<br />I should add that DS' elementary school got in trouble in terms of their standardized testing results being very below average for disabled students last year.

 

[Mommafirst]

Oh gosh, I'd be pretty annoyed too. I think this calls for a day trip to the school and some face to face interaction. I hate when nothing gets accomplished via notes or calls.

I'm not even sure WHY schools are judged on their standardized testing for disabled students. Its unreasonable to expect a child with down's syndrome to perfrom on those standardized tests along with other kids -- but to label any child who has a medical or developmental need as therefore needing to be downgraded to not hurt their standardized testing is unacceptable. Sounds like you'll need to make a fuss here. I hate making a fuss, but sometimes its necessary.

 

[Mommafirst]

Oh gosh, I'd be pretty annoyed too. I think this calls for a day trip to the school and some face to face interaction. I hate when nothing gets accomplished via notes or calls.

I'm not even sure WHY schools are judged on their standardized testing for disabled students. Its unreasonable to expect a child with down's syndrome to perfrom on those standardized tests along with other kids -- but to label any child who has a medical or developmental need as therefore needing to be downgraded to not hurt their standardized testing is unacceptable. Sounds like you'll need to make a fuss here. I hate making a fuss, but sometimes its necessary.

 

[Mommafirst]

Oh gosh, I'd be pretty annoyed too. I think this calls for a day trip to the school and some face to face interaction. I hate when nothing gets accomplished via notes or calls.
<br />
<br />I'm not even sure WHY schools are judged on their standardized testing for disabled students. Its unreasonable to expect a child with down's syndrome to perfrom on those standardized tests along with other kids -- but to label any child who has a medical or developmental need as therefore needing to be downgraded to not hurt their standardized testing is unacceptable. Sounds like you'll need to make a fuss here. I hate making a fuss, but sometimes its necessary.

 

[hmw]

Oh how frustrating. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-frown.gif" border="0">

That was wrong to start him in that program without letting the 5 days elapse. Legally, they CAN implement changes they feel are in your child's best interest if you don't respond to communication from them, but they have to follow that protocol of informing you in writing first and allow a reasonable amount of time to discuss it. This gives you the chance to call an IEP meeting to discuss what the reading program entails, what their goals would be for Max in the program, if you wanted Max to have some testing to see if their concerns over his reading were warranted, what you could do at home to help with his reading, etc. Next time you get something like that, it is important to respond to it directly right away, since that stops the 'clock' on proceedings like that, and also starts the clock on your end if you have requested a meeting or testing for your child since they also have to respond to your communication within 5 school days. Sending paper communication carries official weight (email may not, unless it's also cc'ed to at least one other party involved in the administration of his IEP services... but still, I'd err on the side of hard copy.)


Re. standardized testing being very below average for disabled students last year: take THAT with a grain of salt, because that's an entirely different issue than what's going on with Max. Disabled students are not going to score 'average' on standardized tests because they have to take the same tests as everyone else (even the 'modified' tests ask the same questions, just with simplified language), and thanks to the fantastic NCLB legislation, schools are now 'punished' if they have too many special education students taking those standardized tests making poor scores. You ought to see Emily's scores on those tests. She makes the school and her teachers look really bad, when those tests are a very poor reflection of her intelligence or her teacher's skill- it's her performance relative to the goals laid out on her IEP that matters and in THAT she does well. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

 

[hmw]

Oh how frustrating. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-frown.gif" border="0">

That was wrong to start him in that program without letting the 5 days elapse. Legally, they CAN implement changes they feel are in your child's best interest if you don't respond to communication from them, but they have to follow that protocol of informing you in writing first and allow a reasonable amount of time to discuss it. This gives you the chance to call an IEP meeting to discuss what the reading program entails, what their goals would be for Max in the program, if you wanted Max to have some testing to see if their concerns over his reading were warranted, what you could do at home to help with his reading, etc. Next time you get something like that, it is important to respond to it directly right away, since that stops the 'clock' on proceedings like that, and also starts the clock on your end if you have requested a meeting or testing for your child since they also have to respond to your communication within 5 school days. Sending paper communication carries official weight (email may not, unless it's also cc'ed to at least one other party involved in the administration of his IEP services... but still, I'd err on the side of hard copy.)


Re. standardized testing being very below average for disabled students last year: take THAT with a grain of salt, because that's an entirely different issue than what's going on with Max. Disabled students are not going to score 'average' on standardized tests because they have to take the same tests as everyone else (even the 'modified' tests ask the same questions, just with simplified language), and thanks to the fantastic NCLB legislation, schools are now 'punished' if they have too many special education students taking those standardized tests making poor scores. You ought to see Emily's scores on those tests. She makes the school and her teachers look really bad, when those tests are a very poor reflection of her intelligence or her teacher's skill- it's her performance relative to the goals laid out on her IEP that matters and in THAT she does well. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

 

[hmw]

Oh how frustrating. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-frown.gif" border="0">
<br />
<br />That was wrong to start him in that program without letting the 5 days elapse. Legally, they CAN implement changes they feel are in your child's best interest if you don't respond to communication from them, but they have to follow that protocol of informing you in writing first and allow a reasonable amount of time to discuss it. This gives you the chance to call an IEP meeting to discuss what the reading program entails, what their goals would be for Max in the program, if you wanted Max to have some testing to see if their concerns over his reading were warranted, what you could do at home to help with his reading, etc. Next time you get something like that, it is important to respond to it directly right away, since that stops the 'clock' on proceedings like that, and also starts the clock on your end if you have requested a meeting or testing for your child since they also have to respond to your communication within 5 school days. Sending paper communication carries official weight (email may not, unless it's also cc'ed to at least one other party involved in the administration of his IEP services... but still, I'd err on the side of hard copy.)
<br />
<br />
<br />Re. standardized testing being very below average for disabled students last year: take THAT with a grain of salt, because that's an entirely different issue than what's going on with Max. Disabled students are not going to score 'average' on standardized tests because they have to take the same tests as everyone else (even the 'modified' tests ask the same questions, just with simplified language), and thanks to the fantastic NCLB legislation, schools are now 'punished' if they have too many special education students taking those standardized tests making poor scores. You ought to see Emily's scores on those tests. She makes the school and her teachers look really bad, when those tests are a very poor reflection of her intelligence or her teacher's skill- it's her performance relative to the goals laid out on her IEP that matters and in THAT she does well. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

 

[Ratatosk]

Yeah, I guess we thought we had time to respond and we wanted to visit with his teacher, give the school the benefit of the doubt and get more info to see if he really needs this. Seeing if we UNDERSTOOD what remedial reading actually meant, because my view is probably biased in terms of recalling what the remedial reading program was back when I was in elementary school a zillion years ago.

The lack of communication is what gets me -- my mind has been racing since Monday night. Sat by the phone and computer all day yesterday waiting for a response... I awoke in the middle of the night worrying they'd suggest summer school next. Remembering our daycare directors dire warnings about our school distict and the tendency to label. My head is spinning, imagination going into overdrive!

Until I know for sure what the deal is, all I can do is stress about this. I've put this in DH's hands as he tends to be the voice of reason and can speak fairly calmly in these situations.

 

[Ratatosk]

Yeah, I guess we thought we had time to respond and we wanted to visit with his teacher, give the school the benefit of the doubt and get more info to see if he really needs this. Seeing if we UNDERSTOOD what remedial reading actually meant, because my view is probably biased in terms of recalling what the remedial reading program was back when I was in elementary school a zillion years ago.

The lack of communication is what gets me -- my mind has been racing since Monday night. Sat by the phone and computer all day yesterday waiting for a response... I awoke in the middle of the night worrying they'd suggest summer school next. Remembering our daycare directors dire warnings about our school distict and the tendency to label. My head is spinning, imagination going into overdrive!

Until I know for sure what the deal is, all I can do is stress about this. I've put this in DH's hands as he tends to be the voice of reason and can speak fairly calmly in these situations.

 

[Ratatosk]

Yeah, I guess we thought we had time to respond and we wanted to visit with his teacher, give the school the benefit of the doubt and get more info to see if he really needs this. Seeing if we UNDERSTOOD what remedial reading actually meant, because my view is probably biased in terms of recalling what the remedial reading program was back when I was in elementary school a zillion years ago.
<br />
<br />The lack of communication is what gets me -- my mind has been racing since Monday night. Sat by the phone and computer all day yesterday waiting for a response... I awoke in the middle of the night worrying they'd suggest summer school next. Remembering our daycare directors dire warnings about our school distict and the tendency to label. My head is spinning, imagination going into overdrive!
<br />
<br />Until I know for sure what the deal is, all I can do is stress about this. I've put this in DH's hands as he tends to be the voice of reason and can speak fairly calmly in these situations.

 

[hmw]

Yes, you should have all those things (time to understand what the program is, the chance to talk to the teacher, etc.) When something like this has been recommended you SHOULD have that information because otherwise how can you help Max?? I'd have been sitting by the phone too after getting that and been just as frustrated to find out they stuck him in the program anyway before even replying to the email. Once you have an IEP in place though, the best way to get that communication is by asking for an IEP meeting since legally they cannot ignore your request for one, esp if it comes in response to them wanting to implement some kind of program or service. Your dh probably wrote a great letter to the teacher via email; if he could edit it to include an official request for a meeting and send it to the director of special services at your school (or whoever's name is on his IEP as teacher of record) that should get you a quick response.

Things are different now than they were decades ago when it comes to special education, many strides have been made... I hope that's true for Max's school too should it turn out he needs some extra help. I can remember my grammar school and the special ed programs and the way kids were perceived that needed them. I worry about Emily given her extensive need for spec. ed too; she's done well so far but every year I hold my breath, and every year I wonder if what we are currently doing is going to continue to be enough, etc. I understand your fears about labeling. If Max really doesn't have any issues in this area, I certainly wouldn't want this either. However, if a child *does* have a specific need, it would be far worse to deal with difficulties in learning due to not handling it early on.

 

[hmw]

Yes, you should have all those things (time to understand what the program is, the chance to talk to the teacher, etc.) When something like this has been recommended you SHOULD have that information because otherwise how can you help Max?? I'd have been sitting by the phone too after getting that and been just as frustrated to find out they stuck him in the program anyway before even replying to the email. Once you have an IEP in place though, the best way to get that communication is by asking for an IEP meeting since legally they cannot ignore your request for one, esp if it comes in response to them wanting to implement some kind of program or service. Your dh probably wrote a great letter to the teacher via email; if he could edit it to include an official request for a meeting and send it to the director of special services at your school (or whoever's name is on his IEP as teacher of record) that should get you a quick response.

Things are different now than they were decades ago when it comes to special education, many strides have been made... I hope that's true for Max's school too should it turn out he needs some extra help. I can remember my grammar school and the special ed programs and the way kids were perceived that needed them. I worry about Emily given her extensive need for spec. ed too; she's done well so far but every year I hold my breath, and every year I wonder if what we are currently doing is going to continue to be enough, etc. I understand your fears about labeling. If Max really doesn't have any issues in this area, I certainly wouldn't want this either. However, if a child *does* have a specific need, it would be far worse to deal with difficulties in learning due to not handling it early on.

 

[hmw]

Yes, you should have all those things (time to understand what the program is, the chance to talk to the teacher, etc.) When something like this has been recommended you SHOULD have that information because otherwise how can you help Max?? I'd have been sitting by the phone too after getting that and been just as frustrated to find out they stuck him in the program anyway before even replying to the email. Once you have an IEP in place though, the best way to get that communication is by asking for an IEP meeting since legally they cannot ignore your request for one, esp if it comes in response to them wanting to implement some kind of program or service. Your dh probably wrote a great letter to the teacher via email; if he could edit it to include an official request for a meeting and send it to the director of special services at your school (or whoever's name is on his IEP as teacher of record) that should get you a quick response.
<br />
<br />Things are different now than they were decades ago when it comes to special education, many strides have been made... I hope that's true for Max's school too should it turn out he needs some extra help. I can remember my grammar school and the special ed programs and the way kids were perceived that needed them. I worry about Emily given her extensive need for spec. ed too; she's done well so far but every year I hold my breath, and every year I wonder if what we are currently doing is going to continue to be enough, etc. I understand your fears about labeling. If Max really doesn't have any issues in this area, I certainly wouldn't want this either. However, if a child *does* have a specific need, it would be far worse to deal with difficulties in learning due to not handling it early on.

 

[Ratatosk]

Got an email response from ds teacher last night. She apologized for not getting back to us, was playing catch up from her maternity leave. The sub SHOULD have sent the form last Friday, but didn't.

The teacher indicated that it was apparently based on the standardized tests which were done earlier in the month -- right after xmas vacation -- gotta love the schools timing. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> Anyway she was surprised and did have him read to her and he did fine. Understood our concerns with the remedial program and explained it a little better. One thing she DID bring up that doesn't have to do with that is pencil grip, which we try to remind him about. But doesn't feel it warrants the remedial program, but possibly having OT come in and work with him.

As for behavior, she hadn't noticed anything out of the ordinary, so I suspect it was the sub.

 

[Ratatosk]

Got an email response from ds teacher last night. She apologized for not getting back to us, was playing catch up from her maternity leave. The sub SHOULD have sent the form last Friday, but didn't.

The teacher indicated that it was apparently based on the standardized tests which were done earlier in the month -- right after xmas vacation -- gotta love the schools timing. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> Anyway she was surprised and did have him read to her and he did fine. Understood our concerns with the remedial program and explained it a little better. One thing she DID bring up that doesn't have to do with that is pencil grip, which we try to remind him about. But doesn't feel it warrants the remedial program, but possibly having OT come in and work with him.

As for behavior, she hadn't noticed anything out of the ordinary, so I suspect it was the sub.

 

[Ratatosk]

Got an email response from ds teacher last night. She apologized for not getting back to us, was playing catch up from her maternity leave. The sub SHOULD have sent the form last Friday, but didn't.
<br />
<br />The teacher indicated that it was apparently based on the standardized tests which were done earlier in the month -- right after xmas vacation -- gotta love the schools timing. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> Anyway she was surprised and did have him read to her and he did fine. Understood our concerns with the remedial program and explained it a little better. One thing she DID bring up that doesn't have to do with that is pencil grip, which we try to remind him about. But doesn't feel it warrants the remedial program, but possibly having OT come in and work with him.
<br />
<br />As for behavior, she hadn't noticed anything out of the ordinary, so I suspect it was the sub.

 

[LouLou]

Interesting read y'all. All I can add is I'm sure we all have memories of giving a sub here or there a hard time! Glad I'm not a sub!

 

[LouLou]

Interesting read y'all. All I can add is I'm sure we all have memories of giving a sub here or there a hard time! Glad I'm not a sub!